New Beginnings and Second Chances 7

One of the things that being a hawk had taken away from me was the want to sit in a movie theater. It was no place for a hawk and if I saw a movie while in human morph...the movie’s running time had to be under two hours. At least that was the way before the war ended. After the war I could go anywhere I wanted to as a hawk. Marco was one of the few people that didn’t mind that I tended to stay in hawk morph after the war unless an activity, sexual or not, needed me to have a human body.

So the fact that I was now in a movie theater was something out of the norm. Every now and again a person would stare at me, point, and whisper ‘Tobias’. Rachel kept stroking me to keep me calm. She knew that I didn’t like to be the center of attention. But if you win a secret war against an invading alien army, you have to expect attention.

“You could always morph,” Rachel complained. “It’s not like you have to live your life as a hawk.”

The movie is over two hours long. I replied just as a gunfight broke out between the good and bad guys.

“You could always stay over your two hour limit.”

I can’t just become a nothlit again.

“Why not?”

Why didn’t I just morph my regular human form and then grow old like one? Why did I continue to live life as a hawk?

There was no reason, really. I didn’t have to fight a war and so I guess the reason would be was that I was most comfortable as a hawk. Whatever else happened, I was a hawk. If Rachel had never returned I could have waited until Marco had reached a certain age, became trapped in my Mark Ruffalo morph, and then aged with my boyfriend.

Former boyfriend.

I guess it’s just the fear of becoming a nothlit again. I said, trying to find the flimsiest of reasons. I feel that if I become trapped that I’ll regret not being able to morph again. And I don’t think the almighty Ellimist will grant me my morphing powers back a second time.

“You’re a bad liar.” Rachel said, but gave me a nice little scratch on the back of my neck. “Maybe with my help you’ll find that you can live life just fine as a human.”

I wanted to yell at Rachel and ask why she cared. But that wouldn’t be good since I did love her. I would never stop loving her. I knew that she hated seeing me as a hawk and always wanted for me to accept the fact that I’m human. No matter what body I’m in.

I don’t know. I finally replied. Humans have weak eyesight and they can’t fly.

This got a little chuckle out of Rachel.

“I’m back, I promise I’ll help.” Rachel said, with a little touch of hope in her voice.

A lot has changed, I like being accepted for being me now. I replied.

“You mean Marco.” Rachel said and sighed as the predictable love interest finally fell for the hero. “You know, you’ve acted a lot sadder since I came back.”

I still love you.

“But you love Marco more. I get it, you think you’ve fallen in love again even when I returned.”

So you hate Marco?

“I like Marco, but it’s maddening when I come back and my boyfriend is with another man.”

I had been feeling sadder since Rachel had come back and I had seen much less of Marco. Hell, from the little amount of time I had met up with him he had had a depressing demeanor. If Rachel only allowed me chances to see him more often I’d be happier.

I guess she was making me stay away from Marco, in little subtle ways like seeing this movie, so I would remember how much I loved her. But I did love her. I loved her dearly, deeply, and completely. But I didn’t just want to give up on a friend who had really helped me.

You know you were sort of dead when I started dating Marco. I finally replied.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t feel disturbed.” Rachel said and sighed. “I love you, Tobias, but things have gotten a lot more confusing. I figured I’d just be back on Earth and then be with you. We could lean on each other and everything would be easy.”

Rachel, just because it isn’t as easy as you thought doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. I don’t want to lose you again. I told her and she lightly kissed me on the head.

“You won’t.” She promised and we watched the rest of the movie in peace.

As the credits began to roll I jumped off the seat and landed on the floor. After a minute or two I was back in my usual human morph that wasn’t naked due to the morphing suit. I had morphed Ruffalo with Rachel before and she didn’t mind, but I didn’t want to cause a commotion today.

I took her hand as we left the movie theater.

We started chatting about the parts of the movie that we had actually paid attention to. When I let her go to use the restroom I was able to think about who I wanted to be with. I realized that I didn’t love either more than the other. I loved them both the same.

I put on a smile when Rachel came out and we went to do some shopping at the mall.

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