Tuesday, May 31, 2011

S&N: The Change 4

Focusing more on this strange world, I thought that the afterlife was not all it was talked up to be. I looked at the door and I was able to tell what it was made of as well as a list of what could possibly destroy it. After a few seconds I realized that I wasn't dead.

Looking through my mind, I found a file that confirmed what I already thought. I was an M-4 which was a new model of Machines.

I looked at the metal of the wall and saw a tiny glimpse of my reflection. I seemed normal but I knew that metal was underneath. Why not stick with M-3s, which my files now confirmed were real, if they wanted infiltration units?

More importantly, though, how could I ever get back to Samara since I was a Machine? How could I ever get to her again when I was tainted? Before I could get through these emotional questions, I heard some footsteps down the hall. Even though they were down the hall, I could hear them very clearly.

A middle aged man opened the door and I looked at him. My files said he was called York Smith and was partly to blame for my creation. I wanted to kill him and then kill myself. He made a motion with his hand and I found I couldn't move.

"M-4," He addressed me. "Follow me."

I followed the order without thought. Well, I followed the order only because I had no other choice. I tried to run into a wall but couldn't. I just kept following the man until I was in another room with a woman from Karma. This woman was tied up and screaming. The woman pleaded while tears came out of her eyes and York just stood there.

"Kill this woman." Was all York said and all he did was point at the screaming woman.

In a few seconds, that would've taken awhile to think about, a complex dialogue with myself went through my head. It all boiled down to the fact that if I was going to kill this human I'd let Netty win. I would start down on a path that would take me far away from the humanity I knew. But, really, if I did kill this human I'd only be following programming and it wouldn't be my fault.

The decision was made for me and I punched the human through the chest and broke her heart. It went through so easily and the human stopped screaming after a few seconds. Those few seconds were so long to me and I realized I was lost.

"A little more work with you and then I'll have another working M-4." York said. "Go back to your cell."

As I went back to my room I saw two M-2s talking to each other in the Machine language that I now could understand.

"M-4s aren't fiction anymore. If The Net follows this path then logic will be in danger." The M-2 that spoke turned to me and looked away. It didn't consider me important and it didn't concern my current mission.

Anthony Weiner: Twitter Helps Make the News

This is a story that I think nothing of. That means it has a high chance of becoming important.

Anthony Weiner was a very eligible bachelor back in the day. In fact, he was known for dating 'high profile women'. Most likely they weren't ugly looking either. Things seemed to have changed for Weiner. In fact, they looked to have calmed down. However, Twitter seems to have unleashed a new story about Weiner sending a 'crotch shot' to a woman.

The woman, that the picture was sent to, said the story is a hoax and that Weiner never sent her the picture.

Whether that story is true or not: Why should we care? A lot of people send others 'sexy pictures' all the time. As long as one party isn't complaining, it should be left alone. I think people care so much because it's a politician and politicians are above human feelings, right?

Another point about this story is that it was on Twitter. Twitter is a social networking site that a lot of stuff seems to come from nowadays. I'll be glad when it's in the background or at least not talked about so much.

Extras (Part 7)

Behind the scenes, bloopers, and random moments.

If that version does not work, try this version:

Monday, May 30, 2011

Gettysburg: History for Modern Audiences

I didn't realize Civil War week started this year. Heck, when I read a friend's Facebook status update, I assumed it was something that went on every year but I didn't know about. I'm not very good with keeping up with television shows.

The History Channel starts off Civil War Week with a movie called Gettysburg about the famous battle. From what I've read up on it, it seems it's a combination of graphic live action and documentary style film.

I don't really like documentaries. Some are interesting, but it's not really my thing. Ken Burns' documentary of the Civil War I couldn't get through. It was very informative (from what I read about it and heard) but the way of a normal documentary is too dry.

Nowadays films that are documentaries have live action bits to keep audiences interested and watching. Because, really, what's the point of something if no one watches/sees/hears it? Having pictures of what you're talking about is interesting, but it doesn't match the power of live action video.

With this Gettysburg documentary having 'graphic' imagery it'll have more of a chance to draw audiences. While some people don't like to see violence, the good majority of people like to see violence. Hopefully the violence will have some good information backing it up making it a good documentary.

The Hangover Part II (2011)

Sequels are usually not as good as the original and it seems people are hardly satisfied with them. This is either because it's too different or too similar.

Title: The Hangover Part II

Director: Todd Phillips

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, and Ed Helms

Rated: R

Released: 2011

Rating: 4/5

Basic Plot: The Wolfpack is back and end up in Bangkok trying to find Teddy.

Similarities to the First Movie
I must say, this film is VERY similar to the first film. They wake up from a hangover not knowing where they are but that's really a stable of the series. There is an animal, Stu sleeps with a stripper, ect. But they do make some subtle deviations from the first one. They aren't big or huge, but they are there.

Better Than the First?
No it isn't. Is that a bad thing? No. A problem with this is that the hype for this movie was huge and so people (including me) went into the movie with expectations that couldn't hope to be met. Doing this review I had to try and separate the expectations from my opinion on the movie as its own entity.

A Little Darker Than The First
This movie ups the stakes of the first one. In the first one there was really no downside (except Doug being lost and not being able to be married) while in this one Teddy is possibly dead. Also the events are presented in a darker light. However, this doesn't detract from the humor of it.

Growth From the Previous Movie
You know what makes a good sequel? When it learns from the first one. Stu in this movie learns to be wary of alcohol (since it might be drugged) and Alan. Phil also remembers the roof from the end of the first movie and to immediately check his pockets.

Final Thoughts
The Hangover Part II is very enjoyable if you liked the first one. It has the same humor from the first movie (and is still funny). If you wanted more of the same you get it with this movie. There are little differences to make it not exactly the same as the first one. I think one of the things that ruined this movie was the big hype. Too much hype is never good for anything.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Do you live more in the past or the present?

I'm not sure. I do like to enjoy the present but the future and past affects me.

Ask me anything

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

This was a very fun film to watch.

Title: Repo! The Genetic Opera

Director: Darren Lynn Bousman

Starring: Paul Sorvino, Anthony Stewart Head, and Alexa Vega

Rated: R

Released: 2008

Rating: 5/5

Basic Plot: Shilo Wallace is trapped by her father but yearns to be free.

Focus on Genetics and Destiny
Shilo's story arc focuses on the fact that she has a disease (which later turns out to be false and that her father is drugging her to keep her in the house). She tries to figure out what limits her genetics impose on her and what she can do on her own. This is, really, my favorite part of the movie since I can connect with it.

This movie is very much filled with gore. If you are squeamish, this probably isn't a good movie for you to view. However, the gore is really isn't very realistic. What I mean by that is that it is played much more for comedy. When Nathan kills the guy in his basement it is the funniest scene in the entire movie. Is it gory? Yes. But I found myself much more focused on the comedy.

The Songs
I found the soundtrack to this movie to be very good. I enjoy listening to the songs from the movie without watching the movie. My favorite songs are "I Didn't Know I'd Love You So Much" and "Chase the Morning". If you don't watch the movie, I'd still recommend checking out the music.

Final Thoughts
I heard about this movie and it took me awhile to show any interest in it. Now that I have seen it, I am very glad that I have. The subplots in this movie are very interesting. I was interested in seeing Anthony Stewart Head in another role besides Giles (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). If you are uncertain about seeing a musical: See this movie anyways.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Green Hornet (2011)

I wasn't really looking forward to this movie but I ended up seeing it anyway.

Title: The Green Hornet

Director: Michel Gondry

Starring: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, and Christoph Waltz

Rated: PG-13

Released: 2011

Rating: 3.5/5

Basic Plot: Britt Reid's father dies and he teams up with Kato to fight crime.

Stuck Up Rich Person
Britt is the main character and a big problem I had with him was that he was so whiny. He was walking the thin line between funny and annoying. Luckily he stayed mainly on the funny side. He meets Kato when he complains about his coffee. Now, I love coffee but if my coffee isn't perfect I'm not going to break the cup and yell at people.

Kato is Awesome
Kato is the best part of this film. He kicks serious ass and usually stays calm when Britt is being a whiny bitch. The moves Kato uses to fight with is a joy to watch and he is a very smart person. It's funny/sad that Kato is the sidekick when he could hold up as the main hero very well.

The Importance of Newspapers
Britt inherited a newspaper company. He first uses the company to make The Green Hornet famous and out there. Later the plan backfires and makes it so the bad guys decide to target him. This raises the question of what should be printed in the newspaper. It also shows that the newspaper/news source influences the real world in ways we might, at first, not suspect.

Final Thoughts
This movie is very meh. It is a good popcorn flick and you will enjoy yourself while you are watching the movie. The humor is mostly good while the action is fun to watch. There is a romance that doesn't go anywhere and is there to cause conflict between Britt and Kato. The graphics in this movie were good and the weapons are cool.

The Hangover (2009)

I am glad to have seen this movie.

Title: The Hangover

Director: Todd Phillips

Starring: Zach Galifianakis, Bradley Cooper, and Justin Bartha

Rated: R

Released: 2009

Rating: 5/5

Basic Plot: A group of friends go to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. They end up waking up and can't remember what happened.

Very Funny
This movie is a comedy and it is actually very funny. Most of the humor derives from the fact that the friends don't remember what happened but are still affected by their decisions the night before. My favorite line comes from when they go to the hospital to try and find Doug.

Mike Tyson
His scenes were good. Especially when he goes to hit Alan. That blow was very realistic and shows that Tyson still has it in him. In real life, Mike Tyson owns seven tigers.

Crude Humor
The humor in this movie is very crude (hence the R rating). I would not recommend seeing this was a mixed crowd. Some people may find this movie too crude and therefore think it's a bad movie. This being in Vegas there are hookers, drugs, drinking, and sexual references (as well as someone being tasered in the balls).

Final Thoughts
I didn't see this movie when it first came out so I was left in the dark when people talked about it. One of my Dad's friends saw it and hated it. The friend didn't like the humor at all. She was surprised that someone could like a movie like The Hangover. I, personally, like the movie because I found it funny. I found it to also to be well acted and fun. Comedy is a very hard genre to deal with because it's hard to nail down what funny is. However, The Hangover satisfied my version of humor.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

S&N: Untouchable (Taylor Swift) Cover Script


Samara: Nazilla was very dear to me. She was my lover as well as comrade. I regret that I couldn't bring her body back.


Lyrics (all lyrics are sung by Samara): Untouchable like a distant diamond sky (SAMARA LOOKS UP AT THE SKY AS THIS LINE IS SUNG)

I'm reaching out and I just can't tell you why
I'm caught up in you, I'm caught up in you/SAMARA SEES A GHOST OF NAZILLA AND REACHES OUT TO IT

Untouchable, burning brighter than the sun

It's like a million little stars spelling out your name/SHE LOOKS UP AND STARS SPELL OUT THE NAME NAZ (SAMARA'S NICKNAME FOR NAZILLA)
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together


I know you're saying that you'd be there anyway/SAMARA LOOKS AT A GRAVEYARD
But you're untouchable, burning brighter than the sun

In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

In the middle of the night waking from this dream
I wanna feel you by my side, standing next to me
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

I'm caught up in you

But you're untouchable, burning brighter than the sun
Now that you're close, I feel like coming undone/SAMARA HAS A FLASHBACK OF STARTING TO KISS NAZILLA AS NAZILLA DIES.

In the middle of the night when I'm in this dream
It's like a million little stars spelling out your name
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together

In the middle of the night waking from this dream
I wanna feel you by my side, standing next to me/SAMARA WAKES UP AND AUTOMATICALLY LOOKS FOR NAZILLA.
You gotta come on, come on, say that we'll be together
Come on, come on, little taste of heaven/SAMARA SEES NAZILLA'S GHOST AND IT FADES INTO NOTHINGNESS.
Author's Note:

I like Taylor Swift and the song reminded me of it. I'd actually make the music video for this but I don't have the budget or equipment. If you'd like to make it contact me first, credit me, and then send me the final product so I can put it on my blog.

Monday, May 23, 2011

There Will Be Blood (2007)

Here is a movie that is supposed to be good and won two Oscars.

Title: There Will Be Blood

Director: Paul Thomas Anderson

Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Paul Dano, and Ciarán Hinds

Rated: R

Released: 2007

Rating: 2.5/5

Basic Plot: Daniel Plainview is in the oil business and makes some pretty ruthless decisions.

The Book
This movie is based loosely on the Upton Sinclair novel Oil!. How loosely, you ask? Well, Paul Thomas Anderson chose the title There Will Be Blood because it hardly follows the book at all. About 157 pages from the book are used while the rest is made up. Good thing he decided to change the title.

The Twins
This is one of the most bullshit moments of the film. Mainly because it makes no sense. Paul and Eli Sunday are twins and you don't find this out until the very end of the film. You can never guess until the end because the Sunday family having two sons is hardly mentioned except in a little line of dialog. However, the clumsiness of there being twins is the fact that Paul and Eli Sunday were going to be two different people but it was changed at the last second.

By visuals I mean how the movie was shot. The colors were very good to show the times. The visuals were the one thing I highly enjoyed in the entire movie.

Final Thoughts
This movie is very well shot and decently acted. I gave it a very low rating due to the fact that I didn't enjoy it and had to watch it in two parts. While cinema snobs will probably enjoy this movie, it wasn't one I could find much enjoyment out of. The twins subplot was god awful and the visuals were the only decent thing in the entire movie. The atmosphere of the movie is slightly enjoyable and so I would recommend not to watch this movie while depressed.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

History of Blacky the Critic

Do you have any questions about Blacky the Critic? See if the answers you seek are here!

If that version does not work, try this version:

What's your biggest pet peeve?

Heavy breathing. It annoys me to no end.

Ask me anything

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

World Ending: Really?

Can people not wait for 2012? Do they really have to rush this? I saw this before now and thought it'd blow over. But, of course, I underestimated the stupidity of some people. This happens so often I think the World is playing with me.

Now to the question: How did these people come up with this date for the end of the world?

Their inability to grasp mathematics. Well, I should rephrase that. They do know mathematics, it's just that they do it without reason. Oh, there is a reason: to make May 21, 2011 the end of the world.

However, that's really not reason enough.

Now these people are saying their "facts" are enough to prove that May 21'st is, without a doubt, the end of the world.

Rest assured, though, that if Saturday isn't the end of the world there is still 2012.

Grave Peril (Part 2)

This part of my Grave Peril review focuses on Harry and Susan's relationship.

If that version does not work, try this version:

The Green: Captured 3

Philips turned to me and walked over to me. The men that were walking with him just stood there. He put a hand on my shoulder and I felt the touch of a good friend.

"Matthias, call me Plague. It sounds less formal and we've known each other for a night. What happened to you? I didn't figure you for a criminal." Plague said.

"I was staying with someone and he attacked me. I ended up killing him." I replied.

Plague grimaced. "Was there no other way? Couldn't you have just knocked him out and gotten away?"

"I wasn't thinking. I just didn't want him to ever hurt me again."

"The first killing is always the one that goes wrong." Plague said. "You had a reason for killing. It wasn't done out of bloodlust."

I could tell that Plague was rationalizing and that he knew what he said wasn't right. Besides, what could Plague do to get me out from jail? He was just a civilian that was probably visiting someone in jail.

"Give me two hours and I'm sure I'll be able to convince them to let you out of here and into my care." He told me and then the guards took me to my cell.

I just sat there waiting for what seemed like days. What would living with Plague be like? Would he betray me like Thomas did? I didn't want to have to kill Plague, but I might have to if he attacked me. Had Plague been lying to me earlier just to make me feel better? I was used to being trapped and treated poorly, but there had been a little charm living in the laboratory. Maybe not a first, but there had been some charm later.

My cell door opened and Plague stepped through the door. "Are you ready to leave?" He asked. "I can get you a different pair of clothes later."

I got off my bed and looked at him. "How did you free me?" I asked him.

"I didn't free you, I put you under my care. I was a CIA agent before. The police here know that and respect my opinion." He said. "They know that I can handle you."

I nodded and followed him out. It sent relief through my body to know that I was somewhat free. I would have to stay with Plague out of thanks to him.

Plague opened the passenger door for me and shut it behind me. It was a thoughtful action but I thought there might be another motive behind it. I was probably thinking about that too deeply, though. And if there was another motive behind it, I didn't mind.

We drove a few hours until we got to a motel. Plague was a wanderer, just like me.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Subeta Vesnali 2011 Part 2

I wrap up my vlogs about Vesnali and rate the event.

If that version does not work, try this version:

Monday, May 16, 2011

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (2009)

There is funny and then there is: WTF did I just watch? This combines the two.

Title: Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

Director: Phil Lord and Chris Miller

Starring: Anna Faris, Bill Hader, and Bruce Campbell

Rated: PG

Released: 2009

Rating: 5/5

Basic Plot: Flint Lockwood is an unsuccessful scientist who finally makes an invention that makes food rain down from the sky. The only problem is that something goes wrong and he has to save the world.

The Graphics
The graphics are very cartoony which adds to the feel of the movie. It helps give the movie a very playful atmosphere. The characters all look good and give off a very childlike charm in their design.

WTF is Going On
I will admit this isn't the most WTF movie I have ever seen, but I can assure you that somethings will never make sense to you. But, in fact, that is why I like it. There is a plot that ties everything together. There are some scenes, though, that you can watch and it'll make as much sense as watching it out of context. While an incoherent plot is never good, this movie manages to pull of the WTF parts very well.

The Father Sending an E-Mail
To me, this is the funniest scene in the entire movie. It's the part where the Father has to send Flint a file from his computer to his phone. I can just see my parents in the same exact situation. Even when I was very depressed (this was upon my full viewing of the film) I couldn't help but smile and chuckle during this scene.

Final Thoughts
For someone that wants their movies to be explained, this is not the movie for you. For those that want to feel like kids again, this is the movie for you. It has a good Father and Son storyline as well as a good romance. Also, there's a talking monkey! Do I really need to say more after that?

The King's Speech (2010)

This movie won Best Picture for 2010. Did it deserve it?

Title: The King's Speech

Director: Tom Hooper

Starring: Colin Firth, Geoffrey Rush, and Helena Bonham Carter

Rated: R

Released: 2010

Rating: 4.5/5

Basic Plot: King George VI has to learn to live with his stammering problem so it won't affect his public life.

Helena Bonham Carter is Normal
I am used to seeing Carter as Bellatrix and other crazy roles. So when I saw her in this movie I was just amazed. It was neat that she can be really normal and not weird. Her character is very supportive and you can tell she cares for her husband. Oh, did I mention, she is really normal.

Colin Firth's Stuttering
Firth's stuttering is very realistic. This shows that Colin Firth is talented as an actor to be able to pull that off without seeming unrealistic. And it is a good thing Firth pulls off an effective stutter as the whole movie hinges upon that fact.

Never Overcoming the Stuttering Problem
Let me give out a spoiler, Bertie (Firth) never overcomes his stuttering problem. At the end of the movie his stuttering doesn't go away. His speech has him stuttering but he deals with it. He doesn't stop out of fear. That is as commendable as overcoming the stuttering problem. That being said, it was a little disappointing to me nonetheless.

Final Thoughts
This movie is very well done. I think it earned each and every award except Best Picture. Best Picture, to me, means some movie that shows the limits of movie making (which is both visuals and story). The King's Speech has a spot on story but the visuals are nothing special. The visuals do well to support the story it tells, but they are nothing on par with Black Swan or Inception (both movies I wanted to win Best Picture). I would recommend seeing this movie since the characters and story are both spot on.

Extras (Part 6)

Behind the scenes and bloopers!

If that doesn't work, try this version:

Sunday, May 15, 2011

What's your favorite amusement park ride?

I don't have one. Though The Hippogriff at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is a good contender. Yes, I'm a wimp on rides.

Ask me anything

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Weekly Update: 5/14/2011

To give you an idea of some of the behind the scene details, I've decided to make these updates once a week showing the most popular posts of my blog and how people are finding this blog. I will be using the Stats option on my blog to figure this out. I will not be counting other ways people are viewing my blog posts (such as on the site Media Slayer Productions).

This week has been a decent one. Somethings happened that slowed two of my reviews down so that they didn't get out this week.

The Most Popular Way People Are Finding My Blog:
My links on Facebook have gotten 4 clicks total.
People also have been getting to my blog from Pingywebedition with 5 clicks.

Top 5 Posts This Week:

5: What Do You Most Appreciate About Your Mom?
What makes this funny is that it is a Formspring question.
View Count: 3

4: Sushi, Sake, and Tanuki: Another Viewpoint 3
This is part of my series about an obake called Rig. I am very happy that it managed to get into the Top 5 this week.
View Count: 3

3: Enchanted (2007)
This is my review of the movie Enchanted. Even though I gave this movie a 2.5/5 I wouldn't recommend seeing it. However, it doesn't compare to some of the bad movies I've seen.
View Count: 3

2: Space Shuttle Lunch and Traffic
I'm actually surprised this even got views this week because this post is old. Not that old posts don't deserve some loving, but because the Space Shuttle Launch it refers to has been canceled.
View Count: 4

1: S&N: The Change 3
I am very happy to see this get the number 1 spot. This chapter is really when the true plot of the series can get underway.
View Count: 5

If you could enact one law, what would it be?

Allowing Same-Sex Marriage. I mean, come on people. It doesn't harm you or anyone else. Straight couples can have drive in weddings but when gays decide to marry that's when marriage is under attack?

Ask me anything

Friday, May 13, 2011

Sushi, Sake, and Tanuki: Another Viewpoint 3

I had been searching for Katashi for at least a week now. Every day was the same. I'd search for a few hours, eat, sleep, and then repeat. It was pretty boring and the only exciting thing was changing my form. The sun was setting and I was both tired and disappointed. I was in the form of an eagle and I was scanning the landscape for any sign of Katashi. Katashi's image was one that Hijunaki had given me, though I hadn't known it at the time. I had been too distracted by images of Hijunaki's Palace.

Looking down I saw a human. Flying down towards him I saw that it was Katashi. I landed in the tree and just watched. The excitement of finally being able to rest was at its peak, but I was interested in what Katashi was really like. He looked up at me and shook his head.

"So suspicious these days." He told me. "I thought you were going to kill me. But Hijunaki hasn't sent anyone out to kill me yet. Or else he hasn't been able to find me. Either way, I'm still alive."

Katashi interested me for some reason. The reason probably was the fact that he thought he was going to die, but didn't care. That was very admirable.

"You know what me and Hijunaki don't share the same opinion on? That one should give up this idea of love and just go for sex. It might not be as deep as love, but it doesn't have the same chance of heartbreak." Katashi said.

That struck me to my core. If I hadn't loved Sajoki, she couldn't have hurt me. If I had only looked at her for entertainment, then I wouldn't be sad now. I flew down from the tree and shifted into my human form.

"So this is it, is it?" Katashi asked and laughed.

"Not at the moment." I replied. "I am interested in your philosophy."

"What philosophy?" Katashi asked. "All I like to do is have fun with women. Even a creature such as you should know about the fun of womankind."

"I have had…fun with a woman before." I wasn't going to admit to him that I had loved her and was now mourning her death.

"I assume it didn't turn out well." Katashi said. "You have heard all of my 'philosophy' so now you can kill me. Hijunaki did tell you to do that."

I nodded to him and found that I couldn't kill him. The deaths of Sajoki and Tamui were too fresh in my mind. I also couldn't stand having to kill such a strong spirit.

"Do you have room for a partner?" I asked him.

The Green: Waking Up 1 (Video)

I read a chapter of my series The Green. In this chapter Matthias has a crazy dream and wakes up in a laboratory.

If that version does not work, try this one:

Grave Peril (Part 1)

The TDE arrives and I start my review of The Dresden Files: Grave Peril by Jim Butcher review.

If that version does not work, try this version:

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Enchanted (2007)

Can a movie compare to the overall quality of The Terminators (2009) and yet be a chick flick?

Title: Enchanted

Director: Kevin Lima

Starring: Amy Adams, Susan Sarandon, and James Marsden

Rated: PG

Released: 2007

Rating: 2.5/5

Basic Plot: Giselle gets transported to New York City and ends up developing feelings for Robert Philip.

Giselle's Innocence
In the tradition of Disney fairy tales, Giselle is innocent. Not just as she hasn't had sex or never killed. More on the lines of a retarded person. And that's really an insult to the retarded people of the world. Giselle's actions are somewhat funny, though. As she thinks kissing is a big deal and doesn't realize there's more than just kissing.

Knowledge About the World
Giselle decides to clean up Robert's apartment. This seems simple but there is the plot hole of how she knows how to work a vacuum (as she is shown cleaning it as well as using it) and about electricity. But yet it's the shower that confuses her. Yeah, the almighty shower confuses all of us (which is the reason I don't shower that often).

Giselle is a Random Person
The audience is never given a real image of Giselle. When you meet her she is singing about true love's kiss. She seems to be living alone but no sub plot revolves around her being captured by a witch or anything. So it just seems really random that she appears and then she becomes the main character.

Giselle and the Prince only know love as something that happens quick. So when Giselle goes into New York City it is very new to her to find out about things going slower. It isn't until Giselle really gets to know about the real world that she learns to take things slower.

Final Thoughts
This movie does have its funny parts, it really does. However, it's just too cute. The best part lasts for five minutes (before the Queen dies) but that's five minutes out of a feature length film. I would say to avoid this movie if you want to live. However, if you like chick flicks: check it out. If you don't like chick flicks: avoid this one.

S&N: The Change 3

The battle was still raging and I felt myself fading. Then I felt myself being dragged by familiar hands. I turned to look at the person and it was Samara. It took her a few seconds, but she managed to drag me behind a boulder.

Samara left me for a second, most likely to see how much time she had left with me, and then came back.

"You come here often?" I asked.

"Naz, how long do you think you can hold on?" She asked and held my body in her arms.

"I don't feel bad, Sam." I replied. "I feel so good now. But I think we should put a rain check on me getting those drinks."

"Yes." Samara said and a tear rolled down her check. I touched it.

"I'll be better soon." I lied to comfort her.

She shook her head. "Your wounds are too severe for you to survive. But we must move quickly."

I tried to stand up but couldn't. It felt like I was trying to climb a mountain. "I'll just hold you up." I told her. "I wouldn't want the love of my life to die with me."

"I can make it with you."

"No you can't. I'll protect you as you escape. I can still do that." Truth be told, though, I didn't think I'd last three more minutes.

A small smile started to cross her face as. "Yeah." She said. "I'll come back for your body, I promise."

I looked up at her and noticed my eyesight starting to go. I went up to kiss her and she returned it. It was so very tender because I was weak. This would be the last time we'd be together unless there was an afterlife.

The time we first met came to me. How I had been recently accepted into Karma and Samara didn't think I would be able to fight. But we had fought so well together and I had proved myself to Samara. Later she had accepted me for more than my fighting ability.

We stopped kissing but held our lips together. My eyesight went away and all was black and I was removed from any type of pain. I was beyond calm.

I opened my eyes and the world looked different. The world, for now, being a room.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Shallow Hal (2001)

A good message does not a good movie make. This movie has a damn fine message but is it a good movie?

Title: Shallow Hal

Directors: Bobby Farrelly and Peter Farrelly

Starring: Jack Black, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Jason Alexander

Rated: PG-13

Released: 2001

Rating: 3/5

Basic Plot: Hal is very shallow until an encounter with a hypnotist makes him see the inner beauty of people.

The Message
This is very much a movie with a message. The message is that it doesn't matter what you look like on the outside but inner beauty. Hal falls in love with Rosemary because her inner beauty looks like a hot supermodel. This is a good message, but all the people that are fat, injured, ect. all have great inner beauties and none of their inner beauties look ugly. While the pretty people either are normal looking or ugly as sin. In reality, some people that don't look good on the outside have similar inner 'beauties'.

Rosemary and Hal
Hal's relationship with Rosemary starts out as purely physical. Yes, he's seeing her inner beauty but that inner beauty is giving him a boner. Through the majority of the movie it is purely a physical relationship that starts to shift into Hal realizing that she's a great person to be around. By the end of the movie he has truly fallen for Rosemary despite her size.

Final Thoughts
This is a mediocre movie. The gimmick would work in a five minute skit and works decently in this movie. The story is interesting enough while being cliche (there is the classic misunderstanding). If you're looking for a good chick flick to watch this is a good choice. For those that don't like chick flicks: this won't kill you but it isn't something you'd want to put yourself through anyways.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

What celebrity do you most resemble?

I'm not sure. I know I recognized my hair from Daniel Radcliffe (in his role of Harry Potter in the first and second movie). But I'm not sure what celebrity I resemble completely.

Ask me anything

The Green: Captured 2

I looked down as the Police Chief looked at me. My hands were starting to feel uncomfortable in the handcuffs and the two police officers weren't helping matters either.

"Tell me again how this happened." The Police Chief said.

"Thomas and I were going out exploring. He didn't tell me where we were going." I replied. "Then he ate some green algae and went all crazy. I was only defending myself."

"You are aware that algae only grows in water?" He asked.

"Yes, but that's what it looked like. Whatever it is, it still drove Thomas crazy and made him think I was his dad. Won't you at least look at the substance?"

The Police chief didn't look interested in what I had said. "I'll send some people to confirm what you have said."

"Thank you." I said. I was then escorted to my cell and just sat on the bed. I had been interrogated a lot in the last few hours. Suddenly I saw a young woman in a white dress. But she must've been a hallucination because she seemed like smoke and unlike a normal person. Shaking my head I decided to go to sleep for a little while.

A few hours later I was brought to the Police Chief again. "You said your name is Matthias?"

"Yes, it is." I answered.

"You supplied no last name, birth date, social security number, or parents. Are you playing with us or do you have amnesia?"

I tried to say that the only place other than Nuscon, Arizona I remembered living in was the laboratory. My head started to hurt and made me want to cry out. "Yes." I replied.

The Police Chief must have realized my pause. "We'll have to have someone check you out."

Within the next few days doctors and others were crowding around me. They were making double sure I wasn't lying. I was being brought back to my cell when I turned and saw a familiar face. I had only seen it once but it was familiar nonetheless. I stopped completely, with my guards trying to force me to leave, and had it sink in that Philips Noir was indeed here.

"Philips!" I yelled to him.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Extras (Part 5)

Some of my trip to Brian's house and bloopers.

If that version does not work, try this version:

Conan the Barbarian Remake

I have not seen the original Conan the Barbarian movies but know that they are much loved. They seem to be full of the great cheesiness akin to the time they were made in. However, I have had no real interest seeing them.

That being said, there is a remake coming out and people are getting angry about it. This is no different than any other time a remake comes out. People say that the remake will be horrible. Then when the movie proves to be decent they'll say it's horrible because it's not as good as the original.

I will have to see the originals one day and compare them to the remake.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The Host Rant (Part 14)

Melaine Stryder is the strongest human? Sure...

If that version does not work, try this version:

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

National Day of Payer 2011

I am not religious but spiritual. Trust me, that does still mean I pray but in a different way than Christians. I do find that my connection to the spiritual world is important but I don't feel the need to push it on others. I also find it an extremely private matter (partially due to the fact that it isn't considered normal by most).

So when the National Day of Prayer (May 5th) comes along I pay no attention. I find a national holiday about prayer ignores the fact that the United States is not a Christian nation. What makes this worse is that some people equate not being Christian/religious to being a bad person. This is a very ignorant assumption to make.

I think they should get rid of this holiday since there is supposed to be a separation of Church and State. What about it being offensive to people? I don't care about that. What I do care about is that it's not useful nor is it really a national thing.

Terminator 5 Problems

Don't get too excited about this movie yet.

If that version does not work, try this version:

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Jon Stewart on Osama bin Laden's Death

I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart religiously. I watch it online so I view it in the morning when I wake up. I get up and watch it (well, after I go to the bathroom and turn on the computer).

Yesterday he did a thing on the death of Osama bin Laden. While there is some disagreement about Osama's death, the truth remains that Stewart did an opening on his show about Osama's death.

The opening was hilarious and I laughed. It was full of humor and bolstering up American spirits. One of the reasons I liked it was that it showed Stewart's ability to be funny and serious at the same time.

In fact, his entire show was mostly dedicated to Osama's death. At one point four of his reporters did a great job at showing their comedic abilities as well as giving information about Osama's death.

Sushi, Sake, and Tanuki: Another Viewpoint 2

I opened my raven eyes and saw Hijunaki. I realized that I felt refreshed and not tired anymore. I bowed to Hijunaki when I got up but his face remained angry.

"What is it, Hijunaki? I came when you called." I said.

"Rig, you avoided my Calling for awhile. But that is not what I have to talk with you about now." Hijunaki said. "I watched you while you were living with those humans. I saw that you fell in love with a woman."

Memories of Sajoki came back to me but I did not allow myself to be overtaken by them. At least not at this moment while Hijunaki, my creator, was physically with me. The thought came to me to argue with Hijunaki, but I realized he could kill me. As soon as that thought came I reassured myself that I was too valuable to him.

"She was a human, Rig, and you are not to form bonds of that kind with anyone. Especially with a human. She distracted you from trying to find a way to escape. I expected more dedication from something I created." Hijunaki said.

"But she eventually gave me the means to escape." I said.

"A total accident and not something you had planned." Hijunaki replied. "But I have need of you. I did not call you just because your testing is over, but because I have a mission for you. There is an underground palace where I live that I keep people and beings that I have created. It is a place that you will soon live at after you do the mission I will give you now."

Hijunaki sent me images to my mind of the palace. It was regal and larger than the space allowed for. I thought that Hijunaki made it that way by magic.

"What is the mission?" I asked him so that I could get the mission done and rest in Hijunaki's Palace.

"There was a slave that didn't do as he was told and eventually ran away. I would find him on my own but now I need to test you out on a real mission. By your first testing I know not to trust you in personal matters but possibly you are still useful."

"What did this slave do?" I asked and by Hijunaki's expression I could tell I had asked the wrong question.

"His name is Katashi and it does not matter what he did. What matters is that you will find him and kill him."

I realized I could say no and quickly die or say yes and live longer. There was no disagreeing with Hijunaki, at least not at this moment.

"I will find and kill him for you." I told Hijunaki and bowed.

"I expected as much." Hijunaki told me.

I flew away. There was a river close by and I drank from it. After that, I washed up and ate some bugs. Nothing was as good as the human camp, but at least I was able to eat. I did everything I could to avoid getting started on the shady mission. But I realized after a few hours that I would have to go on the mission soon.

I took off and started flying around to find Katashi.

Monday, May 2, 2011

The Time Traveler's Wife (2009)

I read the book that this movie is based off of. When I heard there was a movie version I just shook my head.

Title: The Time Traveler's Wife

Based on the book (of the same name) by: Audrey Niffenegge

Director: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Eric Bana, Rachel McAdams, and Ron Livingston

Rated: PG-13

Released: 2009

Rating: 2.5/5

Basic Plot: Henry DeTamble can time travel and forms a relationship with Clare Abshire.

Differences Between Book and Movie
Most things that are changed in the movie version are made to make it more watchable. The original book was really a mess of WTF moments. It was actually very hard to read for the first half (and for all the wrong reasons). Some of the things that are changed, though, make the movie a little less powerful than the book.

Henry and Clare as a Couple
In the book this was a really creepy relationship and in the movie it's a little less creepy (while still retaining a little of the creepy factor). If you look outside of the creepy factor, the fact is that there is zero tension. What makes it even worse is that this is the thing that the movie focuses on and that's not good when you don't care about the relationship (because you know it'll work out in the end). Sort of like Aria and Ezra in Pretty Little Liars (minus the time travel) where you have no doubt that they'll always be together.

Time Travel
In both the movie and the book Henry is able to time travel (at random) because he has a gene that allows him to. While this isn't believable, it shows some attempt to make the time travel science fiction and not fantasy. I admit it is cheesy but it's an excuse for some science fiction mumbo jumbo.

Final Thoughts
This movie is very bland. While the time travel is an interesting twist, it's a gimmick that isn't very interesting after awhile. If it was a choice between the book and the movie, I'd recommend the movie. The lack of tension is really bad for any form of fiction and it's what makes this a movie that you should only rent.

What's the story behind your Formspring username?

jashykins is the username I use for blogging. I used to be called Jash on a bunch of sites and jashykins was a nickname that some people called me.

Ask me anything