Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Inbetween: The Darkening 9

Killing used to make me feel unclean. I thought the act of taking a life was something only a god should do. The fact that it made me feel so powerful sickened me because I used to think killing shouldn't make someone feel good. But now I knew better.

I watched as Hannibal made dinner. It wasn't a normal dinner, though, it was a celebration. I had killed Beverly and, in doing so, had begun a new part of my life. My life would now become richer as I had broken out of my cage.

Though this dinner was a special one, I couldn't help but cringe at the thought of what I would be eating. What was even more surprising was the fact that Abigail didn't have any problems with eating it.

"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" I asked Hannibal.

"You're still having doubts?" He replied without a hint of annoyance in his voice. I had learned, shortly after I had killed Beverly, about how he mostly stuck to killing the rude. So I knew that all the moments I had been rude he had restrained himself because he loved me. And I also knew that he was restraining himself right now.

"I don't mind killing, but eating a person just seems wrong to me."

"If Beverly was not worthy to keep her own life, why should she get any say as to how her body is used now?"

I thought about Hannibal's words. He didn't kill without reason and hated killing to keep himself safe. I now understood killing was not always wrong and you shouldn't feel bad because you took a life. I had been naive to fear killing before.

But it being okay to eat another human being and becoming a cannibal? That was too much for me to understand. Was it because I was weak or that I was right?

"Beverly didn't deserve her life and I took it." I replied, trying to form my thoughts into words. "Her threat is gone and eating her would be going a step further than we need to go. Eating her won't stop a threat that has already been stopped."

"While eating won't give you the same sense of release, Will, it does have another use that killing doesn't."

I looked at him and asked. "What is that?"

Hannibal found a point where he could pause in his art. He met my gaze and I knew that I had failed him in my lack of understanding. But as he wasn't making any indication he was going to kill me, I realized that he was willing to take the time to help me understand.

"Killing gives you a sense of release that you can't get anywhere else." Hannibal explained. "But eating another human makes you realize that people are just animals. They can be as easily manipulated as a pig. Being a cannibal gives you strength."

"Is there another reason?"

Hannibal paused as if lost in a memory. I realized that he wasn't as strong as I thought. While he could stand up against things others would crumble from, he was still human. He still felt. For some reason that both humanized him and made me afraid.

I was about to ask him what the memory was when he came back to reality and returned to cooking. Thinking that the conversation had come to an end, I started to walk out of the kitchen. Abigail must be getting lonely sitting all alone at the table.

"The other reason is that we're making sure the meat isn't wasted." Hannibal said and so I took up my former position in the kitchen. "Beverly's body would just be hidden in the ground and the only use it would have had would be to be found by the police or FBI."

"Which wouldn't be good." I replied. "But you don't cook every piece of a human's body."

"Every person has certain parts that are actually good to cook. Though the cheek is the exception as every one's cheeks make a good meal." Hannibal said. "So to eat an entire human body would also be wasteful as you would be making time for parts that are better left uneaten."

"So we're eating Beverly just to have a meal?"

"We're eating her as to not waste her most precious parts."

As the smell of Beverly's flesh drifted into my nose I started to get hungry but tried to push the feeling away. Hannibal was trying to make me eat another human and, at the same time, make me think that it was a good idea. Not just a good idea but a noble one. He was beginning to look like a monster.

But then I started really looking at my own thought process. Why was it disgusting to me? If someone killed a deer it wouldn't be wrong. If someone killed a deer it was to provide food and hunting it was a reward in itself. So why would eating a human be all that bad?

I had hunted Beverly and the hunt had been its own reward. Eating her, like one would eat a deer, would just be a celebration of the hunt. Hannibal was right, she hadn't deserved her life so why should I empathize with her now?

When Hannibal finished making the meal I helped bring out the food to the table. We brushed lightly against each other at one point before sitting down. Hannibal, Abigail, and myself were happy as we ate together.

I took my first bite of Beverly and smiled as the taste and smell combined itself into one exotic feeling. Hannibal looked me in the eyes and we both smiled. I had pleased him by being a good student. After I ate the meat of Beverly Katz, there'd be a different kind from the man I loved.
Previous (and Current) Inbetween: The Darkening Chapters

Inbetween tumblr

Animorphs Re-Read: The Andalite Chronicles (Chapters 13-19)

Chapter 13

Elfangor talks about morphing training. How every Andalite is first given the djabala to turn into and, if the Andalite passes that test, then a kafit (a type of bird). Elfangor says that he had fun morphing into a kafit but how horrible morphing into a Taxxon is going to be. This reminds me of when one of the Animorphs (probably Marco) comments on the fact that they used to morph pleasant creatures.

Elfangor decides to morph into a Taxxon because he wants to show Alloran that he's a "good soldier" and that he's brave. Again with the pride. He could've said that he was morphing because the mission required it, but instead he said it was to please Alloran. I don't remember Elfangor being this prideful, or maybe it just means more to me now.

And the first morphing sequence of the book!

Elfangor comments on the loss of his vision and this surprises me. I thought that he would spend more time talking about how he doesn't have a tail-blade anymore, as an Andalite's tail-blade is his/her life. But the talk about sight is more important, story wise, as it allows an easy transition to comment on the Taxxon's compound eyes.

Holy fucking shit! Elfangor is commenting about Taxxon hunger and it's creepy. Creeps me out badly as an adult. Yeah, kids, read this and sleep well!

(got picture from HERE)

The only reason Elfangor doesn't attack Alloran and Arbron is because the Taxxon instincts know that they are more likely to win the fight. Whenever you morph into something, the creature's instincts can be overpowering. This is the reason why the Animorphs decided on the fact that they always had to test out a morph before a battle. Because if the morph was like a Taxxon, whose instincts are overpowering, they had to learn how to control it.

Elfangor warns Alloran and Arbron to be VERY careful when they morph.

[What, are you afraid I'm gonna morph and try to eat you?] Arbron asks jokingly.

[Yes, Arbron. I am afraid.] Elfangor replies because he knows that the reason he was able to control himself won't work when Arbron morphs.

Chapter 14

Taxxon hunger is really the defining characteristic of the species. So it makes sense that Elfangor begins the chapter by commenting on it. Adding that it never goes away.

It's terrifying that Elfangor doesn't know if he could've resisted eating Loren if she was there. The Elfangor x Loren feels are overpowering in that one sentence!

Elfangor comments on the fact that if they escape in the Yeerk ship that Alloran will order the Yeerks to be slaughtered. As the Yeerks can't immediately gets hosts, they'll have to wait a day, this is a real possibility. I like that this issue of morality is being dealt with. Honestly, I agree with Alloran here but I like seeing the hero choosing the moral choice while knowing its faults.

Well, they can spot the Skrit Na ship easily enough. Now if getting to it is just as simple.

And Alloran reminds Arbron and Elfangor what they are supposed to be. Cannibalistic Space Worms!

I guess "tall trees" is a form of measurement. I can't tell measurements when you say something like "ten feet". But "tall trees" is just lazy. the Gedds was the first race enslaved by the Yeerks. They're humanoid but are always hunched over so that there's always a limb to help them walk. Humans are still the only species to walk on two legs.

Elfangor is not liking the scenery at all. He comments on the fact that the average Andalite is being lied to about how well the war is going. He's used to being told that the Andalites are winning hands down when that is not the case.

And, oh God, I thought that since I was older this scene would be less terrifying. It isn't. Basically a Taxxon falls off of a train and Elfangor runs to eat it. After eating some of it, the Andalite backs away and is frightened of what he just did. Yeah, nightmare fuel.

A Hork-Bajir Controller (Yeerk's title is Sub-Visser Seven) notices Elfangor and says that he's interested in any Taxxon that will not eat fresh meat.

Chapter 15

Elfangor comments that Andalite Morphing technology (he uses the term "Morphing power") is wonderful and allows Andalites to be the "greatest spies in the galaxy". However, if you stay in a morph for over two hours you become stuck in the morph (aka become a nothlit like Tobias). This is what worries Elfangor as the sub-visser takes him on the mag-lev train car.

A sub-visser is a high rank in the Yeerk Empire. At the top is the Council of Thirteen (one member of the Council is emperor but it's never revealed in the Animorphs series who it is, yeah I looked), then the Vissers, and finally the sub-vissers. The lower number of the rank (aka two is lower than three), the higher the position is.

The sub-visser seems to realize that Elfangor is an Andalite in morph. The Andalite aristh decides to speak in gibberish to fool the Yeerk. What is interesting here is that the translator can detect what language another is speaking. That is highly useful. But the translator is able to work even in morph, so where is it located? And how does it work?

The sub-visser asks for Elfangor to speak in Galard (the language that's basically like common in Star Wars) and the Andalite doesn't as he fears a trap.

The Yeerk also brings up that there's a rebel force of Taxxons (called Mountain Taxxons). Elfangor files this info under 'news my superiors need to hear ASAP'.

Elfangor hopes that Alloran and Arbron will complete the mission as he doesn't think he'll be able to.

Sub-Visser Seven says that any rebel Taxxon is fed to loyal Taxxons. He says "idiotic regulations" but it's clear that he's trying to prod Elfangor into telling him the truth. The sub-visser gives Elfangor the choice of a painless death if he confesses to being an Andalite. The young Andalite mourns over the fact that all his dreams of becoming a great warrior had just been dashed. I admit I like seeing this happen as his pride has been thoroughly dashed by reality in this scene.

Sub-Visser Seven says that Elfangor doesn't have to die if the Andalite will become his host. I'm getting the feeling I've just been introduced to Visser Three.

Sub-Visser Seven comments on the fact that no Andalite has been taken alive because they commit suicide via tail-blade. Those Andalites are bad ass! It's one thing to fight in a battle and another thing to decide your cause is more important than your life.

When the Yeerk is done explaining, Elfangor feels revulsion and tells the Yeerk to remember his name. Also stating that he'll never be taken alive. Yep, it's safe to say we've met Visser Three.

Chapter 16

Elfangor is falling and is demorphing as he wants to die an Andalite and not a "disgusting, cannibalistic worm". He doesn't demorph before he hits the ground and Taxxons start eating him. How could I forget how really disturbing these books were?

Luckily Elfangor's tail-blade forms in time to save him out from being eaten alive. Elfangor manages to injure some Taxxons and so the other Taxxons figure the Andalite is worth too much risk to eat. The Yeerks fire at him and he hides in the crowd of Taxxons.

I guess the Hork-Bajir Controllers aren't translated all in English to show that they're speaking a combination of languages?

Elfangor decides to morph into a kafit so he can escape. It's brought up that once you acquire a morph it's yours forever. He's so scared he couldn't tell if he had morphed which is really REALLY weird. Of course he has morphed and he flies away.

Elfangor sees that the Jahar has been captured. All I can think is: GODDAMMIT, CHAPMAN, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TIME?

It was Chapman's fault, goddammit! He has Loren tied up and is offering to trade humanity for I don't want to know. Power? Whatever the bloody fuck he thinks he can get? Arg!

Chapter 17

So Andalites have more than one heart? Looking on Seerowpedia it turns out they have three hearts.

The beginning of this chapter is mostly recap as, at this point in the book, it has come to Part 2. If you're wondering, there is more of Elfangor talking about his bromance with the Jahar.

Elfangor worries about Arbron (his "fellow aristh") and Alloran. He talks about how Alloran should be dealing with his situation as the war-prince has experience.

Elfangor then accepts the fact that the fate of his entire race rests on him (remember, the Time Matrix can make it so the Yeerks can stop the Andalite race from existing). It's adorable that he has to remind himself that rescuing Loren can't be his first priority now.

However, Elfangor does tell her not to talk about the Time Matrix and promises to save her. Though he knows that she has no reason to believe him.

Doesn't Elfangor think of the possibility of a Yeerk being put into Chapman and so the Time Matrix will be revealed?

Elfangor demorphs in sewage but doesn't mind since he's back in his own body. However, that happiness is short lived as he has to resume his Taxxon morph. Arbron comes while Elfangor is mid-morph and Elfangor is relieved just to see another Andalite. Elfangor notices Arbron acting oddly but just writes it off.

Chapter 18

Elfangor's basic plan amounts to him and Arbron just strolling into the Skrit Na ship and flying away. Again Elfangor's pride is mentioned as he talks about appearing like a fighter pilot. Not to belittle a characteristic of our lead, but I could invent a drinking game about this book and Elfangor's pride would be part of it.

Again the Taxxon hunger is mentioned. It is still creepy as ever. And this is a book for children!

There is a suspicious Gedd Controller. Elfangor attempts to speak Galard with his Taxxon tongue but the Gedd Controller asks for him to use a pad attached to his wrist (it's a translator). Arbron, being the technical genius of the two, uses it.

Oh, god, Elfangor said [So far so good] which I remember being the phrase in the Animorphs series that indicated shit was about to go down.

Elfangor demorphs as quickly as he can. It is after he demorphs that Arbron reveals he is a nothlit and not able to morph out of being a Taxxon. I knew this was coming but it still hurts like I'm reading it for the first time.

[I really wish I could, Elfangor.] Arbron says and my heart breaks again!

Chapter 19

Elfangor knows that there is no time to talk about Arbron being a nothlit, but he allows himself to feel horror at the knowledge. The reason that the Taxxon morph was painted as being so horrible now reveals itself. It's so that the reader feels utter horror, disgust, and despair at what has happened to Arbron.

Elfangor remarks that the Skrit Na ship is moving too slow. Arbron suggests using the Time Matrix, but the prideful Andalite remarks that they don't know how the weapon works. If it takes too long to start working then they'll be dead. Elfangor also remarks about how their superiors will react to them using the Time Matrix and Arbron laughs at that. Then Arbron realizes Elfangor is talking about the "mythical" Ellimists. Elfangor points out if the Time Matrix is real why not the Ellimists.

I loved the Ellimists when the species was first introduced but I wasn't happy what they turned into (basically one character, but that's a rant for another day).

A Bug Fighter is coming after our two Andalite cadets! Elfangor is shaken but decides to try to outrace the Bug Fighter and its buddy in the atmosphere. Arbron replies with the obligatory WTF.

Elfangor dives down and the two are both scared and excited. Elfangor basically commenting that the experience is amazing.

As the chase continues Arbron holds back a piece of information concerning the ship saying, [ don't even want to know.]

A Bug Fighter explodes but Arbron tells Elfangor he can't pull the same move off in time (the Bug Fighter couldn't handle the atmosphere). The nothlit offers to shoot the remaining two Bug Fighters but Elfangor questions if he can with Taxxon abilities. Arbron is, of course, insulted and insists he can. Elfangor wants to leave the decision making to the captain, but the captain is him. He decides to let Arbron make the shot.
Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Fifty Shades Darker (E.L. James)

Title: Fifty Shades Darker

Series: Fifty Shades Trilogy

Author: E.L. James

Released: 2012

Rating: 1.5/5

Basic Plot: Ana learns more about Christian Grey and their love deepens.

The Abuse
My hate for this book doesn't come from me being a prude and only doing the missionary position in bed. Instead, my hate for this book comes from the fact that it shows an abusive relationship as the ideal relationship. Christian Grey is controlling of Ana to the point that he buys the company she works for. While he is able to tell Ana to put his past relationships to the back of her mind, lord help the man who even glances at her. Other people have pointed out the fact that he is taking away her connection to people piece by piece. Those more familiar with abusive relationships will be able to point a lot of things out. I don't think any reader, even the younger ones, will get fooled. The fact is that the less mature you are, and the less experience you have with the real world, the easier the mindset that 'being in a relationship with someone like Christian is okay' is to get into. That is what scares me about books like these getting published.

The Sex Is Meh
If you are thinking of checking out this book because the sex scenes are awesome, don't bother. Even though Ana and Christian have sex like rabid rabbits, it's not really as extreme as people talking about it say it is. The sex scene in the elevator at a restaurant is really the only one I was interested in (and that due to the fact that having sex in public is interesting to me). There are maybe two other scenes, at most, that would be worth talking about.

There Is No Real Conflict
Yes, things happen in this book. However, nothing really horrible lasts for long. If there is some conflict being hinted at, it's resolved quickly. The biggest betrayer of conflict comes near the end of the book when Kate finds out about the contract that Christian wanted Ana to sign in the first book (Fifty Shades of Grey).  Don't get your hopes up about it progressing logically or even lasting more than a few pages. This is what happens with any real conflict in the book. By the end of the book I knew that any conflict would be quickly resolved, but I wanted Kate to react to the news better. Well...better meaning she'd react to it worse but it'd be better because there'd be conflict.

Final Thoughts
I am glad to have finished this book. Though I know that one day I'll get to reading the final book in this trilogy. On my twitter I was tweeting last night about some of the comments I saw about this book. One of them said that since Fifty Shades Darker (as well as Fifty Shades of Grey and Freed) were originally fanfiction that of course it was going to suck. As a writer and reader of fanfiction I can promise you that there is some good stuff out there and that Fifty Shades is just one of the worst pieces of fanfiction out there. If you are one of my less mature (maturity and age being different) readers and are thinking of checking this book out: just remember that if you ever find yourself in a relationship with someone like Christian Grey you should get out!

GetGlue Stickers (7/30/2013)

I go over the latest stickers I've gotten from GetGlue!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Animorphs Re-Read: The Andalite Chronicles (Chapters 8-12)

Chapter 8

I like how Z-Space travel (imagine hyperspace from the Star Wars series) works. In that there is a reason why you can't always use it. So that's why Elfangor and company aren't using it in the start of the chapter.

Arbron's character is being expanded. He can take things seriously and that surprises Elfangor. Of course Elfangor realizes that he is biased because Arbron never was serious around HIM. Arbron is 'unraveling a mystery' and won't tell the egotistical Andalite aristh about it.

Elfangor is bored since Arbron is researching, Alloran is brooding, Chapman is brooding, and so the only one he's really talking to is Loren. He remarks that sitting looks very odd. So Andalites don't sit?

Loren and Elfangor talk about Earth and the talk quickly turns to Loren's mother. Then talk turns to war. It is saddening to see Alloran just starting to pay attention to Loren because of how she said her father couldn't cope with life after fighting a war. From this action it is safe to assume that Alloran can only really connect to fellow veterans since only they can understand his pain. The war-prince connects to Loren and even goes so far as to defend her from Chapman.

I like how Loren singles out Elfangor as a memory she's worried about losing.

Loren asks why Andalites don't have mouths and Chapman tells her that her question is stupid (fucking asshole) and tries to bribe Elfangor with money from Earth. When Elfangor laughs at Chapman's offer the asshole then tries to offer the aristh with power. Elfangor replies he's an Andalite and his species isn't bent on ruling others like the Yeerks are.

Before Chapman can embarrass himself anymore, Arbron calls Elfangor over. The suspense is killing me as neither character will say what the images means. No, they have to call Alloran over as the suspense is about to kill me. And whatever this master weapon is it was hidden in Egypt under a Pyramid. I'm guessing it's the Time Matrix.


So the Skrit Na picked up the Time Matrix or the humans first?

Now the mission has changed to getting the Time Matrix first since that is the higher priority.

Chapter 9

So now Elfangor and company is going to the Taxxon home world! And, of course, it's going to be full of butterflies and ponies!

The general consensus among the three Andalites is that the Skrit Na don't know what they have since they are going to the Taxxon home world and not to the Yeerk home world.

Chapman interrupts the discussion and demands to be noticed. He criticizes the Andalites because they are just dragging him and Loren across the galaxy. Elfangor reminds the asshole human that there is an emergency in progress.

So Loren didn't guess that there is danger involved in her trip now? Or is it her only trying to be kind to Elfangor (aka asking Chapman's question in a more polite manner)?

Alloran allows the humans to know what is actually going on and it appears that Loren is more naive than Chapman. This can be assumed when Chapman knows how a time machine can be used as a weapon while Loren doesn't.

Chapman pushes Alloran's big button and says that maybe the Yeerks are the better ones because 'they sound like winners'. This causes Alloran to bring up what he got disgraced for: something involving the Hork-Bajir home world.

Alloran says that they are now on battle alert and the two arisths appear nervous at the thought of an actual mission. This is caused by them having to morph into Taxxons (whenever you morph into something you get a bunch of whatever's instincts).

Elfangor remarks that his daydreams of being a warrior always went well but the reality wasn't like he expected. I feel like this is the same theme that happens with the Animorphs (although they weren't warned before they became warriors).

Chapter 10

So the first part of the plan is to capture a Yeerk ship and get morphs from that ship. Luckily there is a ship that's just arriving.

I am happy to see Elfangor abandoning his pride when he puts the mission first. He abandons his pride by telling Alloran that Arbron is the better shot. Elfangor, instead, pilots the Jahar and remarks that boarding the Yeerk ship will be different than the Skrit Na. He appears more afraid of the Yeerk ship because he doesn't know what will be waiting for them.

In his panic, Elfangor tries to recall everything Sofor had taught him.

The description of a Taxxon just makes me think of 'killer space worm'.

Elfangor's first real fight! It has been revealed that Taxxons will eat any fresh meat. This includes eating their own kind. So cannibalism was in my first fandom and now I'm a fan of Hannibal.

Arbron thinks there has been victory but Elfangor and Alloran have guessed that there is even bigger trouble coming.

Arbron makes a joke before he and Elfangor fight Hork-Bajir.

A lot of mention has been paid to saying how Elfangor doesn't think when he uses his tail blade, but now it's being mentioned like this is the first time it has happened?

Whatever is different has Elfangor going into super tail blade mode. Arbron is just shocked and Alloran seems to have respect for him. Elfangor is freaked out and finds comfort in Loren (no, they don't have sex).

Chapter 11

Elfangor becomes ashamed quickly. He feels he is not acting in the right manner. Pride?

Elfangor doesn't react kindly to Loren asking if he's okay. It's a rude action but his pride has been hurt badly (running into someone's arms after his first battle).  Loren is shown to be kind as after Elfangor says he doesn't need help she goes to help Arbron who had been injured in the fight.

Alloran gives Elfangor and Arbron orders but neither moves. Alloran is at first annoyed, then he realizes that this has been their first battle. He is harsh, but he is caring when he can relate to others. This is one of those instances as he tells them they did a good job but they still have work to do.

Loren first has Elfangor promise that she and Chapman will be taken back to Earth. She then warns the aristh that Chapman is trouble.

Loren says, "Chapman doesn't trust you."

And Elfangor replies sassily with, [I got that impression,]

It's almost like Alloran is telling Elfangor to get away from his girlfriend and focus on the mission. Love it!

Aw! Elfangor is worrying for Loren's safety!

I like how Elfangor defends Loren from Arbron's little rant.

Arbron compliments Elfangor's fighting skills. Elfangor is torn as he doesn't like to remember killing but his pride loves being complimented for his actions.

Chapter 12

Elfangor, Arbron, and Alloran have every one locked up. Alloran tells the Taxxons to not eat each other, but they don't listen. The war-prince then says the Yeerks have left them as they're acting like Taxxons in their natural state. Elfangor wonders where the Yeerks went but his question goes unanswered.

I like how the Yeerks are revealed. It is very well done. Alloran states that the Yeerks are being transported to the Taxxon home world so they can get hosts.

Alloran and Elfangor have a debate whether or not to kill the Yeerks. Elfangor argues that it's murder because the Yeerks are helpless. Alloran argues that the point of war is to kill. Arbron stops the argument, at least for now, by saying it wouldn't be a wise move to make at this time.

I like the line "I had made an enemy of Prince Alloran." as it is sort of foreshadowing later events.

Before Elfangor acquires his Taxxon morph Alloran jokes that doing so will breach Elfangor's 'high moral code'.

And the chapter ends with Elfangor starting to morph.
Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Animorphs Re-Read: The Andalite Chronicles (Chapters 4-7)

Chapter 4

I love the description of the Skrit Na. All they want to do is collect stuff and don't involve themselves in wars (like the one between the Andalites and Yeerks). Hell, it sounds like they don't really have a culture of their own. And their species name of Skrit Na indicates their two phases. Starting with the Skrit and then metamorphosing into the Na. Those in the Na stage go to peaceful planets and kidnap the native species and either take them to a zoo on the Skrit Na homeworld or just travel around with them for a little bit.

Okay, I've decided, I'd totally like to be a Na. Elfangor ends his description of the Skrit Na with, "Personally, I don't think they understand themselves."

Elfangor is still showing pride as he describes "boldly" entering the ship.

The description of entering the Skrit Na  ship is eerie. I am imagining a xenomorph popping out of nowhere for some reason.

Elfangor describing a human, "OMG! It stands on just two legs! Arbron, look at this weird creature! OMG! And it has this thing I read about called a 'mouth'!"

Of course the human language (in this case English) isn't translating for Elfangor's translation device. I like when it's made mention in science fiction that the whole universe doesn't speak the same language. I like the added edition here of the Andalite translation device not working on every language.

I like that the human WOMAN was the one to take control of the situation.

Am loving Arbron telling Elfangor to "use his charm" on the human woman.

And the woman is calling bullshit on Elfangor and Arbron being the good guys. Good that she doesn't immediately trust them. It'd make things unrealistic.

I like how Arbron describes the Dracon beam and ends by saying, "Which is why we'd really prefer it if you didn't fire it."

And we get the woman's name, Loren, and Elfangor is seeming to be attracted to her. I would say it's weird to think of two different species being in a relationship with each other (mind you I'm talking in a sci-fi setting involving aliens), but it isn't creepy with Elfangor and Loren. Plus this isn't the last time in the series that two different species will be attracted to each other.

Chapter 5

For some reason Elfangor and Arbron are both grossed out by human blood (aka red blood). I don't mind comments about mouths and legs, but I don't get what is so gross about red blood.

I like how Elfangor describes it being okay to not help fix the Skrit Na ship because it was their fault anyways.

And Elfangor takes an immediate dislike to Hedrick Chapman. Chapman treats Elfangor as a new zoo animal rather than an intelligent being. Loren also doesn't like Chapman since he reacts like an ungrateful bastard. Chapman soon provokes Elfangor into having a reaction and I'm not liking him already (I'd make a joke that I wish he'd die first but he's a sort of villain in the main Animorphs series).

I do disagree with Elfangor's anger about Chapman being ungrateful. This is a human who didn't know aliens existed before and isn't aware of the power structure involved among each species.

Chapter 6

And one of the reasons I might have trouble with traveling in the Animorphs Universe: the weird thing about gravity in ships that travel through space. While watching Let's Plays of the Dead Space Games and Prey I always start feeling a little sick when the gravity changes and you're walking on the walls like they were the floor.

I like Loren's wonder at the Dome Ship. How the flora is different amazes her and that makes me happy. Why am I imagining her as a good companion for the Doctor in Doctor Who?

The discussion on how each species eats was amusing. Would love to hear Chapman's story in full.

And now something I ended up not liking about aliens in sci-fi: Yes, be amazed that the clothing isn't actually part of their bodies. You were supposed to be an advanced species, right? Then again the rest of the alien species in the Animorphs Universe don't really seem to wear clothing.

But I do like that when Elfangor learns about shoes and human feet his first reaction is of pity. And of course the, "Humans are an amazing species!" is well played here and doesn't seem forced or talking down to its audience.

Good thing Elfangor and Arbron didn't rescue me or else I would go on what I think about the meaning of clothing to human society.

Point for Chapman: he talks about the will of the human spirit and how we won't be kept out of a place just because it's harsh.

Chapter 7

Arbron gives Elfangor the news that they're leaving the Dome Ship and our lead is very distressed. I can understand as he wanted to fight, but I don't get any attachment to home. I admit I never, throughout childhood to adulthood, found home to be an important concept. As long as I can live comfortably, I don't care if I'm living in a different solar system.

We are introduced to another character, only by reputation at this point: Alloran-Semitur-Corrass.

For now he doesn't have a good reputation because of events that Elfangor doesn't know about. All Elfangor knows is that going on a mission with a disgraced war-prince isn't a good thing at all.

Elfangor is also worried about the war being over when he gets back. He admits that'd be a good thing, but he's still young and wants to fight.

It's like Elfangor had a fangasm when he saw the Jahar (Alloran's ship).

I like how Elfangor remarks about erasing Loren and Chapman's recent memories and bringing them back to their home world as "transport work". Loren reacts like, "WTF?!" Chapman seems to think it's some kind of joke.

I like how the difference between Loren and Chapman is shown: Loren is reveling in the beauty of new discovery while Chapman is just interested in function.

Chapman makes a comment saying the Andalites are just hogging all the technology and that's a bad thing. Alloran replies saying that sometimes sharing technology can be a bad thing (remarks on  how the Yeerks got technology).

Why would a technologically advanced species hate those who are good at technology?

Seems Alloran goes off into his own little world as he rants about the Electorate wanting a bloodless war. While I don't like bloodshed in war, the fact is it's going to happen. But trying to not get too into the violence should be a good thing.

Sorry, not ever going to get over the fact that Arbron, who is good at technology, is looked down upon.
Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents

Shipping Confessions: Charlie Matheson x Miles Matheson (Revolution)

You read the title correctly, today's ship is an incest ship. Some of you might feel disgusted and dirty about just reading the title. You might even now start to hate me because incest is wrong and all that jazz. Whatever your feelings are at the moment, know that I really have no limits when it comes to shipping because it's fiction. The laws of fiction don't govern the laws of real life (there are some instances where life imitates art, but that's not a given).

So when I ship something, it doesn't mean I'd agree with it in real life. Shipping incest is one of those instances. So, rest assured, that I don't support incest.

I started to watch Revolution because J.J.Abrams was part of the team and I enjoyed Fringe. The fact that it was also a post-apocalyptic series was a huge bonus. That sub-genre is one I am in love with because our horrible tomorrows reflect what we consider important in today's world. In Revolution there was an event referred to as 'The Blackout' that caused everything electronic to stop working. This works well as today's world is dependent on electricity.

The ship from the show that I am talking about today is Charlie Matheson and Miles Matheson.

Charlie Matheson is the character the audience is supposed to relate to the most. She is there to ask questions that the audience is asking. Her character is important in the science fiction genre as a whole. When you're introduced to a new world having someone to ask what you're thinking is very useful.

Charlie looks after her brother Danny (who has asthma), uses a bow and arrow, and lives in a little village so she doesn't know much about the world beyond. Nor is she really shown wondering about leaving the home she knows. It seems having her family (made of her brother and father) there is what matters and so she has no need to wander.

Her village, however, still feels the grips of the Monroe Republic. The event that starts the show is Tom Neville (who is a Captain in the Monroe Republic) killing Charlie's father, Ben, and then taking Danny as a hostage. In order to get her brother back, Charlie goes to find Miles Matheson (her uncle). The two bond quickly and they go after Danny.

As the Season progressed, Charlie's knowledge of the world expanded and her connection to Miles grew.

While Charlie is the mouthpiece for the audience, Miles Matheson is already immersed in the world of Revolution. He is my favorite character on the show and has done some dark things.

Miles formed the Monroe Republic with his friend Sebastian "Bass" Monroe. Miles, it is implied, did some very dark things in the events prior to the show. While Miles did initially support Bass, he ended up changing his mind. He changed his mind so much that he attempted to assassinate Bass. Upon failing, he ran away and hid from Monroe's sights.

When Miles first meets Charlie he doesn't want to help her (think of Han Solo helping the rebellion in the original Star Wars Trilogy). He does end up joining her and it seems like he enjoys her company more than an uncle should. Through the Season he takes risks that go beyond one family member helping another.

Charlie and Miles, of course, don't see eye to eye. Especially in the beginning when Charlie still has her innocence. This is what bugged me, and many other viewers, when the show started. Charlie is supposed to be our speaker, but she didn't act how we acted. Luckily, she quickly evolves into a fierce little fighter.

Now in the show Charlie's canon relationship is with Jason Nevile (though when he first appears he goes under the alias Nate Walker), but I don't see as great a bond between them as I do with her and Miles. Especially when Jason is first introduced.

Miles has charm to him, even when he doesn't believe in himself, and you can tell that he deeply cares for her. He cares for her beyond what any uncle would. I believe it is his love for Charlie that made him go back into the open again. It is his love for Charlie that, close to the Season 1 Finale, had him risk his life and react more than a little angry to someone threatening her.

Because it would be highly uncommon for a show like Revolution to delve into incest, both Miles and Charlie have their love interests. I don't believe either character having feelings for a different person means that their love is lessened. All of us can love more than on person in our lifetime. I love my fiance, but that doesn't mean I didn't love a past boyfriend.

Charlie and Jason, as mentioned previously, don't share that much chemistry but that does change later.

Miles' relationship with Rachel, Charlie's mother, is one that the audience doesn't know how it went down. All we know is that it was a short affair before The Blackout. There is a group of fans that go with the theory that Miles is actually Charlie's father. I agree with this theory since there have been so many hints that I'll be surprised if that isn't the case.

So does the thought of a father-daughter ship make me want to drop it? No. This is because it is fiction and the emotional bond they have is so great. It is always the emotional center that draws me into any ship. Sex is secondary when I decided who I think should be together. This isn't to say that I feel clean, but that I won't stop shipping Charlie and Miles if this theory ends up being true.

If you don't like the Charlie and Miles ship merely because it's an incest couple, congratulations with getting to this point. As I stated in the beginning, I don't agree with incest in real life situations but this is fiction. And my shipping heart won't be stopped!

What is up for the next Shipping Confessions? We stay in the world of Revolution and I talk about the pairing I started shipping in the first episode and my love for it grew as the series progressed.
Shipping Confessions Table of Contents

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Animorphs Re-Read: The Andalite Chronicles (Prologue-Chapter 3)

Well here is the first stop on my journey of re-discovery. I am starting with The Andalite Chronicles since the list I am using lists this first. #1 The Invasion was the first Animorphs book published, but the majority of The Andalite Chronicles takes place before that. This book follows the history of Prince Elfangor (full name Prince Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul) who was the Andalite who gave the Animorphs the ability to morph.


This is the first Animorphs book I have read in ages, so starting off with the prologue I was very happy. Yeah, I was happy throughout the whole prologue as Elfangor was saying he's dying and he's recording his hirac delest (aka his final words). Does this make me a bad person? Probably.

I remember the Time Matrix playing a part later on in the series (where someone is basically causing havoc throughout time), but I can't remember how much Visser Three remembers of it. The intrigue of what it is and Elfangor's connection to it are all laid out in the prologue.

Another thing is how Elfangor refers to Loren, 'the child', and the fact that the Andalite prince has been to Earth previously but at the same time he hasn't. All of this is good for drawing the reader in.

Finally, I like that Elfangor is shown to really care about Earth and stopping the Yeerks so much that he is willing to break his species' laws for humanity's safety.

 Chapter 1

This is what I love about the Animorphs series and hate about The Host (by Stephenie Meyer): the fact that what the Yeerks doing are wrong. That a species that needs a host to live and has a society made of conquest is not one you can paint as pure or innocent or better than humanity. This is true even when we later learn, not in this book but in another one, that some Yeerks are against taking hosts (but I think I'll save that talk when we actually encounter them).

The fact that we're meeting Elfangor when he is still a cadet helps the target audience connect with him. For one it gives the audience a character who is like them, a youngster who hasn't learned from past mistakes. For another I believe it humanizes the character as I always found god-like characters to not be ones I could connect to in any great degree.

How Sofor speaks to Elfangor while training him sort of reminds me why I should never get a teaching position. I'd want to speak like this. Though why does he have a scar? If we are to believe Sofor morphs, wouldn't his wound have healed?

Elfangor talking about how if he managed to land a hit against Sofor that he'd be considered a hero reminds me of one of my harsh English Professors in college. Great teacher, knew his stuff, but he was not easy to deal with in the classroom (though he was a great guy outside of class).

I like that the Dome Ship is supposed to be a home away from home. A way for the soldiers to find comfort even when they're far away from their planet.

And now we meet Arbron who is a fellow aristh (aka cadet) alongside Elfangor. It is good to have him as he is someone who is different from our lead and so the two can play off of each other. But, if I'm remembering things correctly, Arbron's story will take a dark turn.

I realize now that Elfangor and I both share a hatred of being laughed at because it makes us feel inferior. He even reminds himself how much better he is than Arbron because of how the ranking system works.

So the Andalite technology can send thought speak messages? I guess this makes sense as Andalites are a telepathic species. Also think Arbron's 'taunt' is a form of foreshadowing for later events.

I like how when Elfangor and Arbron get summoned they both go, "Oh, shit, we fucked up. I don't know how, but we must've royally fucked up."

Chapter 2

It seems that Andalite society is very strict in that how many children a couple can have is limited. That just means a lot more to me now and I don't remember getting such a feeling like it before (the fact that birth is controlled, not that the Andalites are in a situation where they need more fighters).

The description Elfangor gives of doing rituals is hilarious. He's basically all like, "Why the fuck do I have such small quarters when I have to do this ritual?!"

I am laughing at the image of an Andalite rolling all four eyes and I don't know why. I swear I'll be fine.

I like both that Elfangor knows what he wants to be in the military and the excitement both he and Arbron have about an upcoming battle. It really sells the fact that these two are inexperienced so much that they aren't worried about themselves or their comrades dying, but just want to do something awesome.

I like that Captain Feyorn, his T.O., and Prince Breeyar (but especially Feyorn) are all painted as invincible and know what they're doing. This is how a great many deal of kids view adults (plus if you're new to a field someone who's done a lot always seems like a god).

I love seeing technology in sci-fi!

The book says our solar system has nine planets! Oh the good old days when Pluto's planet status was recognized.

Oooh! So Elfangor and Arbron were called on the bridge for a training exercise (and I found out the Andalites consider us a Level Six Civilization).

The differences between Elfangor and Arbron are shown. Elfangor is nervous but takes the exercise seriously. Arbron does his best to be serious but ends up making a joke by the end. I like Arbron.

Elfangor realizes that he and Arbron have been called to the bridge not for an exercise to test their commanding abilities, but to do a mission. So basically they weren't told what they were supposed to do, they were fooled into giving themselves orders to board an alien vessel.

Chapter 3

Elfangor sees his chance of flying and goes for it. He even uses his seniority, slight as it is, as a justification to Arbron. I just see Elfangor going, "My tail blade is bigger than yours!"

The talking about different models of ships confuses me. Of course I'm not a car person anyways so I'm as confused about alien ships as I am about cars going down the highway. Why am I admitting this?

The fact that Elfangor is being painted as extremely nervous makes me wonder what the point of doing so is. Is it to have a bigger contrast of how he is in the beginning to the Prince he becomes?

And now a complication with the simple mission which the arisths react with, "Oh my god! We're going to get to fight!"

Because the Skirt Na might have sentient beings on board, the Prince gives the order to shoot to disable and not to kill. Of course Arbron wants to help and Elfangor obliges and goes to where he can let Arbron shoot the Skirt Na ship.

Yes! Elfangor is having some admiration for Arbron. He even compliments the other aristh (though it's an indirect insult, but Elfangor doesn't seem to intend it to be used that way).

The end of the chapter is Elfangor saying how he thought that he was close to being a Prince and would quickly win the war. I love the last line: "I was a fool."

Monday, July 22, 2013

Animorphs Re-Read: Introduction

I'm deciding on an Introduction to this Re-Read as I think you should know where I stand on the Animorphs series and why nostalgia is probably going to cloud my judgement.

Animorphs was my first fandom. It was the first thing I really gave my heart, mind, and soul to. least how one does so with fiction. It was the series that provided me with which point of view I now use when writing (first person) and with my first fictional character crush (Tobias). My obsession with this series got so bad that the books had to be taken away from me so that I'd branch out into other areas.

I was first introduced to the series when I got a Scholastic pamphlet thing that showed books you could order. I saw Animorphs #1 The Invasion and it looked interesting. Since this event happened way back when I was in Fourth Grade (so around 1996 when I was 10), I can't remember exactly what drew me to the book. Why I made the decision to buy it and thereby get pulled into my first fandom, I can't recall with certainty. Hell, it might've just been that the book was the most interesting one on the pamphlet.

But once I started to read The Invasion I was consumed by it. I was very interested to see what would become of Jake, Marco, Cassie, Rachel, and Tobias since they would determine the fate of the world. Their actions would determine if the Yeerk invasion of Earth would be successful (I'm not including Ax here since he didn't appear until book #4 The Message). Since I was around the Animorph's age I could also think about the fate of the world depending on me.

From the time I started to read The Invasion until I finished The Beginning, I was enveloped in the world of the Animorphs. I read every book in the main series as well as all the books that took place outside of it (such as The Ellimist Chronicles). When it was over I felt...I guess the best way to explain it would be fulfilled and yet still longing for more. The series ended on a killer of a cliffhanger (K.A.Applegate explained she wanted the gang to go out fighting just like they started, but not Cassie since she stayed on Earth with a boyfriend who I'll call NOT JAKE until we get to that part). The funny thing about the series ending on a cliffhanger is that some of the later series I followed (and that also consumed my life) ended on unresolved cliffhangers.

I don't know how exactly I'll tackle the whole Animorphs series (if I'll go chapter by chapter, every two to three chapters, book by book, ect.). I just know that I'll find a way and it might change along the Re-Read, so no promises.

I will be using THIS LIST to decide in which order I'll go through the series. I hope to revisit some fond memories, rediscover some forgotten ones, and realize things I didn't notice before. I'm highly excited about doing this (as I've been dreaming about finding the books, my memory of them is so good my dreams were able to accurately recreate some of the covers) and yet scared since I might not like them as much. Or if I'll hate the series by the end of this re-read.

Well, next time I make a post of the Animorphs Re-Read I'll be looking at

Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Inbetween: The Darkening 8

Dedicated to Jordan who is a great roleplayer and friend
I was back in my house and it felt different. Everything felt different now so the fact that my house felt less like a home didn't worry me. My dogs, who it seemed used to be connected to my very soul, were now nervous around me. They must be able to tell that their owner had gone through a transformation. While they were scared now, they'd soon realize that I had changed for the better.

I had arrived home after a hectic work day. Luckily Jack hadn't called me to help with a new case. I felt like I could take on any case without resorting to madness, but I had other things to worry about. It had been a few days and Beverly still walked.

For some reason there was a hate that grew within me whenever we talked. I kept seeing her destroying my relationship with Hannibal. I had finally found peace in a man and yet she kept trying to get in the way.

Subtle things. Little things.

Beverly asked about my therapy sessions with Hannibal and I was kind yet distant in my replies. If she noticed anything, it wouldn't matter soon. It wouldn't matter that she was flirting more openly with me. No woman was as kind as she was without reason. I should've seen that sooner.

I walked to my fireplace and leaned against it. The feel of it meant something more to me now. It was now a way to kill and not just something that provided warmth Thoughts flashed through my mind as I finalized what would happen to Beverly. While her dying inside my house would be fitting, I didn't want any evidence linking me to her death. And Jack's prying gaze would then end up on me sooner than later.

I took out my cell and looked at it. An idea was forming in my head and I was nervous about following it to its conclusion. Not because I thought killing Beverly was wrong, but I was worried I'd mess up and disappoint Hannibal.

Gathering up my courage I called Beverly.

"Hello?" She asked.

"Hi, Beverly." I said, my voice sounding pained.

"Are you doing okay, Will? You've seemed a little...different lately." Damn that prying bitch.

"Alana's death has hit me hard. But I have been getting better." I had to hold back any mention of Hannibal, the man who was saving me from madness. I didn't want to give her any indication that she was going to be walking into a trap. Beverly was clever and would take any reference to Hannibal as confirmation that I could now see her true colors.

"I don't know if being able to solve cases means you're getting better."

"It means I have something to cling onto. To distract me until I get over her death."

"And are you getting over her death?"

"It doesn't feel like it did when she died." I replied truthfully. "But I still don't feel comfortable being alone tonight."

"Will, I-" Beverly replied, obviously confused.

"Not like that." I said and gave a half-hearted attempt at a chuckle. "I'm just worried what I will do to myself. I've been having these thoughts lately. I don't think I'd ever do anything, but it'd be good to have someone that I trust to make sure I stay safe."

Someone I trust. That wouldn't be Beverly. But I needed her to worry about me so she wouldn't see her death coming. She wouldn't know that I could see her now.

"I'll be able to come over in a little under an hour. Will you be safe until then?" She asked.

Good, she was worried. She wouldn't see anything coming.

"Yes." I said.

"Goodbye." Beverly replied.


After I hung up I felt some relief. The first stage of the plan was over. I hadn't messed up and all I would have to do is continue the performance when she arrived. Beverly would put on her face of actually caring about me, but that would be a lie.

I had only a short time to prepare for her.
I quickly finished putting on my clothes as I heard Beverly's car. It would be a short time until she knocked on my door and then the plan would be close to completion. I glanced at my dogs who looked more nervous than normal, but Winston still walked up to me.

He lifted up his head and I scratched behind one of his ears. He knew everything was fine, or else he was a very good actor. In either case, he wasn't going to alert Beverly. Winston cared about me and wouldn't want to see me leave.

Beverly knocked on my door and I opened it for her. I quickly made sure that my face was pained as I was opening the door. I had done it right since my victim's face showed concern. I stepped out of the way so that she could enter. Winston sniffed her and then wagged his tail.

"That's Winston." I said as she bent down to pet him.

"He's a good boy." She said, taking on the sweet tone that most people use to talk to dogs. Treating dogs like they were children and not creatures with feelings. "Where did you get him from?"

"He's a stray, figured a home was better than living on the streets."

"You're a kind man." Beverly said as she stopped petting Winston and stood up. "And I am here for you while you try to figure everything out."

"I know." I said and knew that she was lying. The only reason she cared was to learn more about me and put me under a microscope. I was an oddity and only Hannibal saw me for what I truly was: a person that needed privacy. "And I am glad you are here when Alana can't be."

"It isn't your fault Alana is dead." She replied.

"I know." I said, trying to pretend that I had gotten over Alana's death. I pretended that I was recovering so that Beverly wouldn't be more worried than I wanted her to be. "I thought we could go on a walk."

"No wine?" She joked with a disappointed expression. Of course she wanted to seduce me.

"You're a friend, I didn't want you to get the wrong impression." I had to stop myself from screaming at her that she wasn't Alana. That she could never be Alana or take her place.

"I understand." Beverly said and looked out the window. It was dark and there was a very light snowfall starting.

I picked up a flashlight and opened the door for Beverly. As she went out of my house I looked to my dogs. I was warning them, with my eyes alone, to not bark or warn her that something was amiss. That all wasn't like it had been before.

I closed the door after I had exited my house. I locked it merely from habit and not because I was afraid anyone would try and break in. I wouldn't be gone long, anyways.

"So where to?" Beverly asked.

"I figured a good walk in the woods would be refreshing." I answered.

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Just means that when we get back we'll feel better to be alive."

I turned on my flashlight and my victim followed me into the woods. There was no moon tonight and so the woods were darker than they had been in my dreams. As I wasn't dreaming, I knew where and when I was. I knew what I was doing and so I'd make Hannibal proud. I'd prove to him that I was recovering and becoming a better person all at the same time.

"So you're scaring yourself to feel better now?" Beverly finally asked.

"Yes." I replied and noticed her walking had become slower. "Don't tell me you're getting too scared now. We're already deep in the woods."

"I'm not scared about myself, I'm worried about you."

"We're just taking a walk in the woods. There's no danger to us."

"You've been different lately." She stated. I turned to my left to look at her face. She didn't appear afraid, just determined.

Beverly Katz knew.

I swung the flashlight to her head and she moved just in time. In the precious few seconds it took to pull out my gun, Beverly had gone out of view. I didn't want to pick up the flashlight as she could use that time to attack me. I doubt she'd kill me since she thought too much for that.

"I've been myself!" I yelled out. Turning around I tried to think of where she would go. I once knew her as a friend and I could empathize with anyone. That is why I would be the one to win this fight.

Upon realizing that I couldn't hope to find her without the flashlight, I bent down and she kicked my side. I rolled over and pulled out my knife as my gun left my hand. I preferred a knife anyways. Better to slice open necks with.

I pretended to hesitate about my decision to kill Beverly so that I would have a more solid plan of attack. I couldn't rely on surprise any longer.

"I'm trying to help you, Will!" Beverly said as she pointed her gun at me. Not at my head, but at my shoulder. She wanted to wound me, make sure I wasn't a danger for a long time, and let me be ruled by her.

"You're trying to control me. You're trying to keep me away from Hannibal!" I hissed.

Beverly's look of confusion and wavering of her hands gave me just enough time. I leapt up, pushed her against a tree, and slit her throat.

If I was the man I was before, I'd have thought her last look at me was one of betrayal. But I knew it to be one of regret because she had lost.

I didn't react outwardly to the blood splattering onto my face. It felt refreshing and I felt proud of myself. I had made Hannibal proud and now Alana could be at peace. If Hannibal wanted to continue this form of therapy, I would allow it. It had opened a part of me that I had been afraid of before.

I was free. I was my own design.
Inbetween tumblr

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Cult (Season 1)

Show: Cult

Season: 1

Episodes: 13

Created By: Rockne S. O'Bannon

Released: 2013

Rating: 4/5

Basic Plot:  Tracks the investigation of a string of mysterious deaths and disappearances surrounding the show-within-a-show.

Not Given a Chance
I have seen a great show not get a second season (Last Resort) and I have seen a decent show get renewed (Elementary). Cult was one of those shows that its network didn't seem to care about. That its network didn't like airing even one episode because it might do well enough to earn a renewal. After its second episode it was moved to the Death Slot (aka Friday Nights where shows go to die). Then the CW held up its hands and acted surprised that a new tv show was getting bad ratings on Friday Nights! Never mind that Cult was already struggling with ratings on Tuesday nights. After a few more episodes aired the CW pulled the plug and said it wouldn't air the rest of the episodes of Cult's only season. Luckily they decided to show the final episodes, but it doesn't erase my feelings that this was a show that was cancelled before it even begun.

A TV Based Cult Makes Sense
In the beginning of Cult it seems insane that Nate (Jeff's brother) seriously believes that the cult of Cult (aka True Believers) are murderous psychos. But what Nate says isn't only proven to be true, but also that it is much more complicated. Nate isn't in the majority of the show, as for the earlier parts he is captured, and Jeff searches through the twists and turns (with the help of Skye, someone who works on the show and whose father went missing because he was getting too close to the truth of Cult) to find out what is really going on. As this show wasn't given warning of cancellation soon enough, by the end of the series you are left at a big cliffhanger as you realize that the scope of the True Believers (and Steven Rae) is even bigger. And, really, a cult giving out messages in a tv show makes sense in this day and age.

Something that fuels the plot (and sub-plots) of Cult is figuring out what happened to someone's father. It's what is the driving force behind the True Believers and it's a reason why Skye helps Jeff in the first place. To find out what lead to a father's disappearance and left a child all alone. For one person it lead to an obsessive quest that left a large body count. For Skye it lead to a healthier interest in finding out questions that she didn't know before as well as getting a boyfriend.

Final Thoughts
This show is the cancelled show I miss the most this year. At least Last Resort was given enough time to wrap everything up (albeit some subplots did feel rushed). Cult wasn't even given a chance and that's really sad for a show like this. A cult that sends out messages through a tv show seems relevant to today. It's such a crazy idea that no one would believe it was happening. Those who figured it out would be labeled as crazy and ignored. In Cult, not even the police are there to help Jeff and Skye because they don't believe there's a cult that sends out clues through a tv show. I admit fans getting so crazy that they'd kill sounds insane unless you go on sites like tumblr and Twitter and see the insanity inherent in fandoms as a whole. There is a gigantic cliffhanger that raises unanswered questions, but the ride is well worth it. And to all the True Believers out there: Hey, these things just snap right off.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Let's Play Dead Space: Extraction (Parts 1-3)

I begin to delve into the Dead Space Universe.

Inbetween: The Darkening 7

I opened my eyes and looked around my room. For some reason I had slept naked and I felt sore. I never did any exercising before bed, so the feeling of being sore was different. For some reason I started remembering a dream of waking up next to a corpse. As I looked around my room I realized that the dream was real and that this wasn't my room.

The room had the same design as Hannibal's house. Then it hit me. Hannibal had helped me hide the corpse, we kissed, and then we had made love. The feelings I had for him last night, that I still had, made the word 'sex' useless to describe what had happened. No wonder I was sore.

My search for my clothing was short as I saw that Hannibal had hung them up on the door for me. I must have been asleep for a few hours at least. I put my clothes on and realized, even though I had killed an innocent man, my now lover would protect me. He would be strong as I fell down.

I went into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. There was something different in my eyes. Something that scared me for a reason I might've been able to know before, but not now. Whatever it was wouldn't consume me or ruin me. I was Will Graham and I was not afraid.

As I was reassuring myself, a beautiful aroma came into my nose. I smiled as I realized what the meaning behind the smell was. Hannibal was making breakfast for me. I forgot what being in a relationship could be like. How good it could get. That you could wake up one morning and your lover would make you breakfast. If only I could've experienced that with Alana.

Walking into the kitchen I looked at Hannibal. There would always be something mysterious and dark about him, but it was calming to me.

"Are you feeling better, Will?" Hannibal asked as I realized he had heard me enter.

"Last night did help." I replied and I saw a small grin appear on his face. It was subtle, like everything else about him, but it was there. I could see that he wasn't sore from last night or maybe it didn't bother him. He must be stronger than I expected for a simple shrink.

"The act of sex does release endorphins."

"So you had sex with me merely to help release tension?" I asked, not worried that what I had said was the full truth. That he didn't have sex with me merely to help his patient.

"I had other motives." Hannibal answered.

I walked to the table and sat down with hope finally back in my heart. He did love me and I would have a breakfast made for me personally by the famous Doctor Lecter. The day was beginning much better than yesterday had ended. I wasn't feeling as confused as I was then. I was, more or less, stable.

Hannibal finally finished making breakfast and brought it out. He did his usual speech on what everything was and then we started to eat. At first we ate in silence. Not because there was tension, but because there was peace in doing so.

"Did you dream about the burnt corpse?" Hannibal asked as he casually put another bite into his mouth.

That was an odd question. Especially since the morning had begun so different from the events of last night. But I was still his patient and he still had a drive to make sure of my mental stability.

"I didn't dream of anything." I replied and then paused. I was remembering the utter bliss of being in a void so I didn't have to feel anything. "It was calming. I haven't felt a sleep like that in a long time."

There was more silence as we continued to eat. It seemed that Hannibal was happy about my reply and so I felt I was on a slow path to recovery.

"How do you feel about the man now?" Hannibal asked.

Before I would have to think how to word things because of how I thought Hannibal would judge me. I didn't have that problem now.

"I feel like killing the man gave me some release. Like there was part of me that was trapped that has now been set free. That what I feel about him now isn't bad." I paused. "Is that wrong?"

"No, it isn't." My lover reassured me. "Nor do I think that you are coping. You have finally found yourself and need to let your true personality out."

"But killing is wrong?" I asked, the last bit of the Old Will vainly trying to cling on. To deny the truth of Doctor Lecter's words.

"All killing is not wrong, Will, there are people who are better dead than alive. That if they breathed another breath more harm would come to this world."

"Like Gideon." I said softly. If I had killed Gideon sooner then Alana would still be alive. Then Alana and I would be together having coffee, having sex, and making breakfast the morning after. Now she was just a lifeless corpse in a grave.

"You could make up for Alana's death by killing someone else who causes harm and is therefore undeserving of the life they have."

"Killing someone won't bring Alana back."

"No, but you will be able to save someone like you couldn't save Alana." Hannibal countered.

"Do you have anyone in mind?" I asked.

"Do you?"

I thought about the question. Did I? There was Jack Crawford who wasn't dangerous, but had driven me into madness. That had ignored the signs of me being unstable. And since Jack had ignored the signs, I had killed an innocent man. Someone whose name I didn't know and wasn't connected to me at all.

But did I really want to kill Jack?

My cell buzzed and I looked at a text from Beverly.

"Beverly Katz." I said and looked into Hannibal's eyes. There seemed to be a perverse pleasure brewing behind them and I didn't mind. "She is too close. She is trying to find things out that don't concern her."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I am sure. She is trying to take Alana's place and will find out about your unorthodox methods." This was the truth. I had leaned on Beverly for support since Alana had been murdered, but being with Hannibal showed me her manipulations. They had been very subtle.

"Why?" Hannibal asked and the question seemed like he was trying to keep me from making a mistake. But, by his tone, I knew he thought I was doing the right thing.

"Because if she keeps me from you I'll become even more unstable."

"Then you will find the control you didn't have before when you kill her." After he said that we both smiled, in our own different ways, at each other.
Inbetween tumblr

Saturday, July 13, 2013

Inbetween: The Darkening 6

I could hardly breathe. I could hardly think. Nothing seemed real right now. Everything felt like a nightmare. Because if I was just in a horrible dream it meant that I hadn't killed anyone. It would mean that I was still the same man who risked sanity for the sake of other's living. That this man who killed randomly wasn't me. That we didn't share the same body and mind.

I felt something warm pushing itself into my hands. I looked with an uninterested gaze at the cup of tea that Hannibal was giving to me. I didn't want to accept it. I didn't want to put anything into my body at this moment in time. But my friend wasn't going to take no for an answer it seemed.

I took the cup and looked around at his kitchen.

"Is this going to kill me?" I asked and looked inside the cup, deep into the tea, and all the way down to the bottom of the cup.

"No, it will relax you." Hannibal replied. "You need to be able to think clearly now."

"Why?" I asked and let out a small chuckle.

"You are in shock right now. I only want the best for you, Will."

"Yeah, thank you for taking care of the body." I said and started to sip at the tea. It tasted strange and I tried to identify what was in it.

"The FBI needs you, they won't find much use from you behind bars." He said and then looked at my face. I liked his gaze. "I gave the tea to Abigail before. It contains mushrooms."

Mushrooms? Calming tea? Was the great doctor drugging me? A smile formed on my face. It wouldn't be the first time I had gotten high, but this was the first time I'd get high to escape from myself.

"Where did you put the body?" I asked, suddenly more curious than I had been before Hannibal had suggested the idea.

"It would be best that you didn't know, at least in your current state."
"What do you mean by 'my current state'?"

Hannibal stood beside me and his presence felt comforting to me. He was my guardian and I was in a state of distress. My mind was trying not to think of what my body had done. I drank the tea.

"You killed a man without realizing it." Hannibal stated and I remembered the corpse clearly. How the man's skin had changed due to being set on fire. How his throat had looked inviting since it had been slashed open. I remembered the stranger's corpse clearly and I didn't know how to feel. "I'm worried that you'll get yourself into more problems than you intended."

"We didn't have this conversation when I killed Gideon." I retorted and I saw my friend think for a moment. Whether he didn't know what to say or he needed some time to phrase it properly, I didn't know.

"I thought, when you killed Gideon, that part of you was protecting Alana without realizing it." Hannibal said.

"And now you think part of me is a remorseless killer?"

"No, Will, I think there is part of you that you need to learn to control. I can help you with that."

"Help me?" I asked and put the empty cup of tea on the counter behind me. I had killed people and Hannibal was talking about controlling me? I didn't think I could be controlled. Maybe if I had put more importance in my sanity earlier I could have. But not now. It felt like a monster was getting out of its cage.

"There must be some ways that your dreams are alerting you to what you're actually doing."

I thought about my most recent dream and I didn't want to examine it any further than I had. Well, I hadn't really examined the nightmare in the three hours since I had woken from it. But I didn't want to. I felt that if I examined it I would finally see myself as I was tonight. That wasn't something I needed now.

"I touched a form in my dream." I said, trying to keep the bile from rising in my throat. "I touched it and it became covered with fire. I slashed its throat. Then I woke up beside what I saw in my dream."

"How did you recognize the corpse once you woke up? You never said you recognized it in the dream."

"I couldn't tell who it was in the dream but...somehow I recognized it when I woke up."

"Because part of you remembered killing the man." When Hannibal said that it seemed like he had just calmed himself down about my situation. I didn't realize he was tense but the tea was affecting my judgment. Plus, he was always good about hiding his feelings.

"You're pleased with that?" I asked, a real smile coming to my face.

"I'm glad that you can recognize what you're doing, in some way, which means that you won't always kill without reason."

"Don't lie to me!" I paused. "I am a monster and if I am not locked up soon I don't know when I'll strike next. Or who my next victim will be."

Hannibal walked in front of me and put both hands on my shoulders. I looked at his hands as I felt their warm comfort. My eyes then looked into his. Those eyes were all consuming and showed no fear. Showed no doubt. Showed me the soul of the man who cared about me.

I felt something inside of me reveal itself to my mind. I felt comfort in Hannibal not because he was continuing to help me, but because I loved him. I loved him because he had been there for me when Jack sent me into madness. And Hannibal was here, now, when I had murdered someone. Hannibal was here, now, when I was losing my grip on reality.

"I can help you, Will." Hannibal said and in that moment I made a choice. I don't know if I would've done it if not for the mushroom tea.

I brought my face close to Hannibal's and then put my lips gently on his own. I couldn't tell what his reaction to it was, but it wasn't violent. A few seconds went by as I was regretting my decision, but he returned the kiss with passion.

I loved him and I knew he would help me.
Inbetween tumblr

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

Title: Star Trek Into Darkness

Series: Star Trek

Director: J.J.Abrams

Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, and Zoe Saldana

Rated: PG-13

Released: 2013

Personal Rating: 4/5

Oscars: N/A

Plot: After the crew of the Enterprise find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one man weapon of mass destruction.

Khan and Benedict Cumberbatch
Now I am white and know I can only look at this situation as an outsider. I have no choice in that matter, but I can do my best to understand and care. Khan was originally Native American aka not white. In this version of the Khan story, he is white. I have nothing against Cumberbatch's acting, and he does a fantastic job in this film, but the problem is that Khan has been made white. In film, and television, PoC are hardly ever able to be represented by a character like Khan. While Khan is a villain, his plights are so great that I couldn't help but sympathize with him (even until the end) and he is a master manipulator that can usually get what he wants. Never mind Khan being genetically engineered for perfection! Let me repeat: I'm not saying Cumberbatch is bad for being white, but they should've cast a PoC for the part.

Spock's Sass And Deeper Feelings
Vulcan's are supposed to be pure logic. As in there are no feelings like a human has. However, Spock has some very good snarky replies to comments made to him. It is one of the best parts of the movie, in all honesty. Spock is not comic relief, but he does bring some levity to the movie. While Spock does bring levity, there is more going on in this character. In the beginning he tells the crew of the Enterprise not to rescue him and after he's rescued this brings problems to his relationship with Uhura, his girlfriend. He also has friendship problems (I keep shipping out of my reviews the best I can so contact me outside of my blog to find out my whole thoughts on Spock and Kirk in this movie) with Kirk. All in all, I loved Spock in this movie.

How Far To Go To Be Prepared
Now Khan is, of course, the villain that was supposed to be revealed as such in a twist. This didn't happen as that spoiler was known far and wide, so it can't be a spoiler. However, the surprise villain brings up a good thing to consider. The villain did what he/she did because she/he wanted to protect the Federation. He/she was willing to go beyond what he knew was right to do so. He/she woke up Khan so that the genetically engineered man could create weapons for him/her. It is good to be prepared, but doing so at the price of morality is wrong. Even if it is with the best of intentions.

Final Thoughts
I was never a fan of the original Star Trek series. Of course I had heard about Spock, Kirk, Khan, and a few others. This stems from the fact that I wasn't much interested in the special effects as a young child and has nothing to do with the fact that I used to be a huge Star Wars fan. I have seen parts of old Star Trek episodes (including some Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes on BBC America), but haven't seen enough to make me real knowledgeable about the series. While I can enjoy the Abrams films, I can't always see problems that long time fans have. With that being said: this was a very enjoyable experience. I loved the effects and the acting. Very glad that I got to see it in theaters.