Jorah, Elfangor, and myself all looked at each other and judged what the first move should be. Who should make the first move?
Jademoon had requested to do some researching outside of clan territory and one of the warriors was to accompany him. Vergere couldn't spare any Yun-Harla due to an outbreak in a Harpy outpost. Gabar and TobiasFangor had both been sent along with Xelalin who was going merely to take care of his former family.
Finally Jorah made the first move and the mock battle started. The mock battle to determine if the Wildclaw or myself would accompany the Skydancer.
Focusing on the mock battle helped me focus myself. Helped me to forget all the doubts that haunted me as the sun went down on Sornieth every day. I would watch the sun and find it odd when my body didn't become tired when midnight arrived.
My inability to sleep to the extent I was used to reminded me that I was no longer a dragon. Cameron would heavily disagree and try to make me feel better about myself, but her words meant nothing to me. Nothing could change the abomination that I had become because some dragons had taken pity on me.
I now have no need to eat and meal times have become incredibly awkward. This is especially true when some try and make me feel normal. Their eyes full of sorrow that makes me feel broken inside. That makes me feel like maybe I should just give up on everything.
Every night when the rest of the clan is asleep I have to remind myself what I am. I have to remind myself that though I am a mechanical abomination, I have a purpose. I will serve Seitou and I will make sure that the Artificial Intelligence of my nightmares never comes to pass.
I am the only one that can stop it. I am sure of it.
Maybe it was my machine body that allowed me to overpower Jorah. He rolled away to safety but his defeat was evident in his eyes just before Elfangor attacked. My machine mind allowed me to focus on thousands of things at once, but I was still getting used to using that ability in battle.
Elfangor won the battle at the end. However, he was impressed enough with my performance to let me accompany Jademoon on his journey.
SarahConnor's Journal's Table of Contents
If you liked this journal entry, I have a Writing Shop on Flight Rising where I'll write bios and fanfictions of your dragons. I will also write journals entries like this one for you. If you want a dragon from my clan so you can join in my lore, I have a Dragon Shop.