Thursday, June 6, 2019

A Flame Extinguished Chapter 28: Nothing Else Matters

This is a Game of Thrones fic. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

This chapter has been edited due to content. I made minor edits in this chapter. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.


It was warm on the beach of Dragonstone. The waves crashed onto the shore and then quickly receded. I breathed in the salty air as Viserion and Rhaegal chased each other in the sky. If only this were real and I never had to leave Khaleesi's side ever again. My queen was sitting beside me with her head resting on my chest. Her breathing matched mine and everything was perfect. At least until I woke up.

"Am I still him?" I asked as a I ran a hand through her hair.

"You aren't still Azor Ahai." Daenerys replied. "Westeros no longer needs a legendary hero. It needs a king."

Westeros needed Jon as king. He had a way of doing what was right no matter the circumstance. He hadn't wanted to become a king and yet he had accepted the responsibility. I was merely Azor Ahai, the man who had helped kill the Night King. I had been forgiven, but I didn't have the strength of heart Jon did.

"I'm glad you have your children here." I said. "They deserve to be with their mother."

Daenerys stood up and I followed suit. She had explained how they were connected and that it was possible for them to be in her afterlife. Drogon had been able to talk with her through the veil and yet their appearance was still shocking. Once I died I assumed there would be an understanding of how the afterlife worked.

My love started walking and she took one of my hands in hers. It was peaceful here and I couldn't wait until my soul was freed of the world. Yet Jon would be just as far away from me. Never again would I see his smile or feel him underneath me. Khaleesi squeezed my hand as if reading my thoughts. This was paradise but that didn't mean there were no sacrifices to get here. I squeezed back and my heart calmed down. Her presence was enough to make me know being with her was the right choice. It was the only choice for me to make.

Our footsteps continued as the beach became larger than it was in reality. I smiled as our walks could become endless points in time. We could spend centuries walking on this beach without any worries of reaching the end. This reality was formed of our wants and there were no gods to tell us how to live our lives.
I looked up to see the dragons playing. They dove down with their wings pressed against their bodies until they were feet from the water. At that moment they would fly back up to the clouds. The point of the game seemed to be not touching the water as much as possible. Before them doing this so close would have scared me, but now it was calming. It showed me the life that would one day be mine.

"Viserion is still sorrowful for what he's done." Daenerys said. "But he has nothing to be forgiven for."

"I understand that." I said with a grimace. "He won't always be in such pain."

By one look I knew Daenerys was debating whether to trust me on the matter. She didn't know whether to trust her hope or despair. But she had asked me as I had experienced the same senseless guilt, so she ended trusting my opinion. At least for now. For now she would trust that me and her son had experienced a similar emotion. There was a gladness in me that I had never been forced against my will to harm Khaleesi. My form had never been used to torment and kill her. My long list of crimes did not include that.

"I hope there are other dragons to keep Drogon company." She said to break the silence. "You are his father but he needs siblings. It is unpleasant to feel alone. To feel as thought you are the last of your kind."

"I am the last Mormont." I replied. "Lyanna Mormont is now dead which leaves me as the sole heir to my House. My first wife miscarried and died in her last attempt at birthing an heir. I don't know if I have it in me to continue my line."

"The gods have already taken so much from you, they have to allow your blood to continue for generations. They owe you that much."

"Hasn't your new wisdom told you that the gods are cruel beasts who play with us mortals?"

Daenerys looked down for a brief moment as we continued our walk. She was wiser than before yet none of us could ever escape our naivety. We would always be victims of our hopes and dreams. My destiny of Azor Ahai had been certain but now that role was over. The gods had no use for keeping me alive. They might have cared about the living winning the war, but they would have no worries about what came after. They wouldn't care about how much effort it would take for mortals to go back to life before the world had changed.

"Who will be your queen?" Daenerys asked.

"I don't know." I answered. "It would be best to take a Stark wife. To both honor the North and Jon's memory. To show how important that House was to successfully wining the War for the Dawn. The South will adhere to my decision as, politically speaking, they would know it is best to not make the one who won the war mad."

"And it would also show them how much you respect loyalty."

Khaleesi and Jon had both given me the chance to experience romantic love. To allow me the chance to feel connected by more than just political maneuvering. Even my second wife had allowed me to feel so, at least until our marriage had fallen apart. After so long following my heart it would be difficult to go back to calculated couplings. Maybe the gods would grant me a marriage that would help heal my heart and allow me to keep peace in Westeros.

"I wish I'd be able to see the world you create." Daenerys said and as we walked the landscape changed. "You will be good for Westeros. Much better than me."

"You were the best hope for Westeros." I replied as I tried not to become fixated on the world around me. "You had a kind heart-"

"That was hidden even from myself. I would've burned down the Seven Kingdoms more savagely than Cersei Lannister ever could."
My eyes were now forced to focus on the painting around us. Quickly the landscape had changed from looking faded to a portrait slowly melting. I lifted one of my hands up and it split apart as if it were wax. Daenerys' eyes looked sunken but they offered me reassurance. In time this would become normal to me.

Slowly the painting transformed from Dragonstone into the Dragonpit. Then everything resumed their normal appearances. I let go of Daenerys and fell to the ground. Even though I didn't need air, I felt like consuming the air around me. Now that the danger had passed I felt more alive than before.

"It's a way to travel." Daenerys said as she helped me up. "I didn't consider warning you."

"Because I am so strong." I replied and she nodded. "This is where you confronted Cersei. This is where you proved to everyone you had the presence of a true ruler."

"And I rode Drogon under your advice."

"You would've gone for Drogon anyways, you know how to show your power. When I suggested you ride him again you decided to go with Jon Snow."

"It wasn't that good of a ride."

We chuckled and walked across the Dragonpit. Cersei had dared to defy my queen to the point of insanity. The dead had been the true enemy and yet she had been far too interested in power. How could Khaleesi ever think her transgressions would ever have equaled Cersei's?

The Dragonpit became smoke that swirled around until it formed where I had met Daenerys for the first time. She must be preparing me for when I joined her after death. I hoped it would be soon. There were people in this place but they were statues carved out of a flesh-like stone.

"I met you here." Daenerys said and walked to where her statue was. "You were a much different man back then. We saved each other as time went on. Even at our first meeting I could feel my soul connecting to yours."

"I saw you and I was lost." I said as the landscape changed to the throne room in Meereen. "There was no choice in my mind but to follow you. I am glad that you are unlike your brother. He was cruel and thick headed. No one would have followed him and House Targaryen could not have regained the Iron Throne."

"My House still hasn't. But it has you. I shouldn't have pushed you away. Your love is the purest I have ever experienced. It is one I will embrace fully once your reign comes to an end."

My voice caught in my throat. This was not a usual farewell, it had a permanence that our other good-byes hadn't. Why had I thought that Khaleesi would remain by my side as I lived the remaining years of my life? Why had I expected her to greet me in my dreams every night? I would see her again and yet...yet my heart couldn't imagine being without her. I wanted to die now just to hold her for eternity. Damn my duties as king. Damn the world of the living. It held no light for me. Not even Sansa was a tempting enough flame for me to leave Khaleesi tonight.

"I belong at your side." I said and my voice cracked. "I lost you once. Don't make me do so again."
"You aren't losing me, my sweet bear." Daenerys comforted me and took my hands in hers. "Imagine you are on a long journey and I am waiting for you to return home. I will never have anyone but you in my bed. But for now you have many more miles to go before you can share my bed."

I could see the pain on her face and how much it hurt her to say good-bye. We said farewell much too often for my liking. Every time we embraced equaled many months apart. She was safe in this afterlife. She would come to no harm and that would have to be enough for me. She would not forget me and would greet me upon my death. Though could I call it death if it wasn't an ending?

"I do not need to take another journey away from your side." I begged. "We have spent far much too time apart."

"And we will spend eternity together when you return." Daenerys said and kissed me on the lips. "That is the only reason I am able to say good-bye. If I continued to see you while you're alive there could be consequences. I was only able to visit you because there was a threat to the living and my presence helped you. I used that excuse to finally be with you as I should've when we were alive."

I deepened the kiss to solidify this moment. This final moment would have to last me until we met again. The scene around us changed again but I didn't care. In just a few seconds my clothing felt too heavy for me. I needed to embrace her in every way a man was capable of. When my hands drifted to her waist, she stopped me.

"I need to make sure you understand." Khaleesi told me. "I need to make sure you know what will happen when you leave tonight."

It would have been better for her not to stop me. Now I was able to focus on my doubts. The woman I loved above all others wanted to spend eternity with me. There was no sign of Khal Drogo or Jon Snow. It was not the way of the gods to give me what I desired. Their gifts were always littered with punishment.

Jon's scent overpowered all my thoughts and I looked where Daenerys had brought me. It was her quarters on the ship and where she had fucked the king. He and I would never meet again but at least I could smell him from time to time. Besides that he would always be in my memory. King's Landing would be empty without him. It would be even lonelier without Khaleesi by my side.

"For eternity you and I will be together." Daenerys said and sat on the edge of her bed. "What are a few years to that?"

"Everything." I whispered. "The gods aren't kind and have hardly rewarded my loyalty. Why should I believe you are anything but the imaginings of a deluded mind?"

"I have been right about your destiny."

"You could be any deity mocking me so you can laugh when I enter the darkness. Just like Jon Snow."

"You know better than that. You're the only one who wouldn't be fooled if I weren't myself."

She was more than right. After death she had changed but parts of her had remained the same. Parts that there were no words for. A maester couldn't comprehend my explanation if I were to give one. We shared one soul and it was for her I continued to live in my darkest of moments. If not to be in her service I wouldn't have attempted to take Tyrion Lannister to her.

"We are each given the afterlife we want." Daenerys explained. "Jon must have been exhausted by life that he preferred darkness. He wasn't the only one to die and see only darkness."

"Why didn't you fade away?" I asked, though in my heart I knew the answer.

"I wanted to be with you. I needed to **** you once."

She said '****' with such fierceness that I wanted to take her. It didn't matter to me that Jon's scent was in the mattress. Our lips met yet again and the heat inside of us started to blossom.

"Do you want him here?" Daenerys asked. "Do you still miss him?"

"Now is all about you." I replied. "It is not him that I want to see after I breathe my last breath."

I did miss him. I missed Jon dearly in the cold morning. Not with the same strength as I did Daenerys, but it was an overpowering emotion nonetheless. Never again to feel his touch again or hear his voice was agony.

"I could bring your version of him here." Khaleesi said. "Consider it a gift from me."

"You are the only gift I need." I replied but couldn't hide the lie from her.

Someone started to remove my armor and let each piece crash to the floor. I turned to see Jon naked. My version of my love was here and he was perfect. In short order our bodies entwined as we made love.

Afterwards Daenerys stayed on the bed as myself and Jon stood up and embraced each other. I ran my fingers through his hair.

"I love you, Jon." I said softly.

"And I you, Jorah." Jon replied before he faded away.
Only after he left did I notice the sweat dripping down my body. I turned to Daenerys who had a satisfied grin on her face. She walked over to me and put her hands on my chest. There was sadness in her touch and tears going down both of our cheeks.

"Live your life." Daenerys commanded. "Love whoever shares your bed. Don't waste your life thinking of eternity."

"I will, Khaleesi." I promised.

The cold of my room greeted me once my eyes opened. There was no Daenerys and a hard promise to keep. The rebuilding of Bear Island had progressed quickly so my room was the same as when I had been a child. When the sun started to rise my duties as king would again commence.

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