This fic was originally published HERE.
Freedom. Such an odd word. When you say it it feels like the pinnacle of happiness but once you live it, it's anything but. Freedom gave me nothing but pain and suffering. For far too long I had been trapped under the control of Tarik. For far too long I hadn't had to think about self-control. I could think and brood in the manner I chose. But now my feelings could have devastating consequences.
In my initial wanderings I went far from my clan's territory. The memories from my home tortured me too deeply to allow me to stay. If I were stronger I would have tried gathering an army to attack the demons. But I was much too weak. I was a disgrace to the deity that had hatched my egg.
I hunted at my heart's desire. I would see prey from a lowly insect to a mighty dragon die under my claws. Each kill, no matter the prey, was more than satisfying. I felt powerful with every life I took. No longer was I under the control of something not from this world. No longer did I follow any rules than those I made.
And that scared me.
After many weeks of wandering, I found myself at the shore of the Sea of a Thousand Currents. On the surface it looked like nothing but a body of water. It was so huge that I couldn't see the other shores. But beneath the waves it was teaming with the life of a million dragons. Possibly more.
I stayed as still as possible in fear of the Tidelord. I had never before stepped beyond the territory of the Plaguebringer. Dragons had told me, before the demons had enslaved my clan, that they had been able to wander Sornieth without problems. I knew simply stepping over a line would not signal my doom. But I feared anyways.
After taking a deep breath, I jumped into the water. A rare laugh left my lips as I enjoyed the sensation. This was the first time I had ever swam in safe water. All bodies of water in the Plaguebringer's territory were tainted with substances that could kill a dragon in under a minute. The skin could melt from a dragon's body or they would be put in so much pain that they couldn't swim. This water, though, was safe.
I dove down and saw a Guardian dragon swimming below me. He had the blue eyes of a Water dragon with a body that seemed fit for another Flight. His skin was mostly black with patches of gold. The gold seemed to be in the shape of odd lightning. No, not lighting. Not exactly. Electricity. The Guardian's Circuit Gene provided a nice contrast to the rest of his body.
I swam up to take a breath of air so I could continue to look. The Guardian followed me to the surface. The fresh air was almost as delightful as the water around me. It was a reminder that there was hope. That things could change and I wasn't bond to my past.
"You're a Plague dragon?" The dragon asked shocked. "With the smile on your face...I didn't know. I'm...I'm sorry for the confusion."
My mouth wanted to tell him what had happened. That I was a disgrace to the Plaguebringer and so it was better I left her service. Tarik had been right in that I shouldn't have been allowed freedom. Maybe this Guardian would take me under his wing and I would know comfort once more. There was a possibility that all my wounds could be healed.
But my body was not concerned with such nonsense and I couldn't resist its temptations. Guardians were one of the largest breeds of dragons on Sornieth. They were monstrous creatures and to kill them would be an achievement. What a thing it would be to talk about later. I had killed a Guardian dragon and lived to tell the tale. A lowly Mirror had taken down such a beast. And now, without Tarik holding me back, I was able to quickly turn that fantasy into reality.
"It's alright." My voice said with fear in its voice.
There would be no second chances. There would be only this moment to succeed or die. The moment the dragon was about to reply I struck. I aimed my body to jump on his head. From there I made my way to his back. As he dove down I knew he could easily win this fight. If he had flown into the air, there would've been more chances at victory for me. He could hold his breath for a long time, I could not.
Whether dragons flew in the air or swam in the sea, they should have the same weaknesses. It would be much smarter for me to give up on this kill as I had made a mistake. And mistakes only increased with time. But I wanted to know if I could win this fight and there was no one to stop me this time.
I started to chew through his wings. This should make his decent slower and give myself more time. But with every bite he twisted and turned in ways that were disconcerting to me. The feeling of water pressing itself against me was very different than air. The secrets of the sky were all known to me. But water? This was something I had just discovered.
Even as my mind argued with itself whether to abandon this kill or not, I bit even more ferociously. A sudden burst of water hit me and it took all my strength not to abandon my prey. How dare they! They had more of my attention than him so I flew up to get more air. I would need my strength to kill them all!
I shot out of the water and a flock of Skydancers came after me. We were an even match in the sky. I was more used to flying but they were more skilled. We cried out and their magicians used spells against me. Or at least they tried. Their spells were made to hinder and not maim. A mistake that many outside the Plague Flight made. Each injury only made me madder.
One made a water rope and pulled me towards them. The moment I was close enough I launched an attack. For endless minutes nothing existed but the spilling of blood. In the end two fell from the sky and five flew away injured. If I had more strength in me, I would kill them. For now, though, I had to focus on patching myself up.
* * *
My days outside of the Plaguebringer's territory were spent in utter bliss. Sometimes I would have enough control to enjoy my freedom while other times the only thing that mattered was killing. The way my emotions tossed me became comforting. It made the days not feel as bleak. Yet the utter loneliness ate away at me. I didn't have the ability to hold a conversation and any meeting soon turned to bloodshed.
One day I would figure out how to live with my curse. One day I would calm down.
A few weeks after swimming for the first time, I saw a sleeping Wildclaw. She was mostly white with red patches. Some of the white parts seemed like crystal while other parts seemed like feathers. The red also shared in this bit of oddity. Some red looked like crystal while others looked like a mixture between scales and feathers. A cat rested on a boulder beside the dragon. If I crept quietly enough I would have a chance to kill her. I was hungry so this kill wouldn't be a waste. It would be both a feast and necessity. Now to make sure my steps weren't too loud.
I must have moved too loudly as the Wildclaw stood up quickly. But it wasn't in fear, it was in certainty. She managed to stand up in such a way that her tail smacked me in the face and threw me back a few feet. I jumped at her with rage bursting from my lips. However, she was not moved. She merely bent over so I overshot my target.
This went on for five minutes before I realized I wouldn't win. I was too tired to move and so my only hope was that she felt pity for me.
"You're strong." The dragon said and walked over to me. "But you don't think enough. Killing is much more than drawing blood, it is strategy and the acceptance of death. Every time you seek to kill, you impart on yourself the possibility of the same fate."
How could she be like this? In her claws she held my life. Yet she was having a conversation with me as if I were still a young hatchling. Another oddity was that her voice didn't sound like a dragon's. It was much too rugged and beautiful. Her voice was the sound of the rage in my mind given form.
"I think I am being rude." She said and took a few steps back. "I believe you want my name. My name is Scourge."
"Kali." I said weakly.
"I don't think you want to die."
"What?"
Suddenly I realized how tense my muscles were becoming. My body wanted to kill and I would like to beat such an impossible foe. My movement had been so slight Scourge must be watching me intensely. Yet her body showed no more tension than as if she'd been on a morning stroll. With all the effort I could muster, I convinced myself that attacking the Wildclaw would not be good right now. There would be another time, but not now. Not when she was at her peak.
"I'm sorry." I said.
"I know how great being on a hunt feels." Scourge said and helped me up. "The power one feels is overpowering. On Sornieth there are rules but outside...that is wilderness. That is home. That is a place you would die in mere seconds."
"You said I'm powerful. I could last a long time."
"Living off the continent requires more finesse than you currently have."
I let out a growl and her cat climbed onto her back. She tilted her head as if fascinated by what I was. She was as strange as Tarik and yet I trusted her. She could've killed me or toyed with me, but instead she was talking to me. She was accepting me for who I was. Scourge could teach me how to spill blood. I was sure of it.
"Can you teach me?" I asked. "I want to know how to spill more blood. I need to kill those who destroyed my clan."
I destroyed my clan. After freeing myself I could've lead my clan on a mission of vengeance. I could've brought honor to the Plaguebringer and yet all I had given her was shame. Shame that could never be removed from my name. Not now. Not ever.
"I will travel with you." Scourge replied. "Beyond that I can't promise you anything. If you learn things from me, you may get your vengeance. If you fail to learn any lessons, you must look for another teacher. Do you understand?"
"Yes," I answered. "I understand."
"The first lesson is that you need to understand your enemy before attacking. You just ran at me without understanding any danger."
"Was I supposed to know who you were?"
"No, but coming at me more slowly would've allowed you more time to change your tactics. You might've even killed me."
Before I could argue, Scourge started to walk away. I had to run to keep up with her quick pace. Though I don't think it was fast by her standards. The way her legs moved made it seem as if she was slightly jogging. This was the standard pace she kept up every day. Sometimes I would fly just so my legs could find relief. She was not a quick flyer, luckily enough, and we tended to talk during those times. Though with her you either had a conversation or hours of silence.
Tonight I was worn out over from practice. It had turned out learning to fight helped me calm down. My emotions were still volatile, but at least I felt in control. I curled up by the fire Scourge had started. She hunched over the fire and made dinner.
"You're not in the service of the Plaguebringer, are you." I said. "I would've heard tales about you if you were. You would make that deity proud."
"I am in the service of no deity." Scourge replied. "You know my story."
She had told me bits and pieces during our journey together. She had been about to hatch the moment her egg had been kicked off the continent. The strength it would take to survive where no rules existed was immense.
"I thought that after you returned home you would choose one." I replied just as I was handed dinner.
"I serve my husbands, wife, and child." Scourge replied. "They are in Seitou's Clan which serves the Shadowbinder. But I do not serve her."
"Are they in a powerful clan?"
"It does not have a large army. However, it has allies that could be called upon. If you wish to seek vengeance against the demons, I will take you to my clan. You have shown such drive to spill the blood of your oppressors, you have earned my respect."
I hadn't realized until that moment how much Scourge's respect meant to me. Unless she spoke, her thoughts were mysteries. She didn't show her emotions or, if she did, it was in the strange way she had learned growing up. I hadn't know until this moment she actually liked me. Or maybe tolerated me? She also sometimes seemed to understand emotions in a way that was foreign to me. What had her life been like that she would be like this?
"That is if you believe the demons are gone." Scourge said. "Or if you believe your own deity won't help you."
"The Plaguebringer helps by punishing." I replied. "She will only deign to help her children if the need is direr or if they impress her. If she doesn't consider the demons a real threat then it must be up to us to kill them. And the demons aren't gone. Tarik was not of a high rank, but he still knew that the demons were expanding their territory. Their goal is to take full control of Sornieth. I may slip into insanity but not before I kill those who tried to enslave me."
"You have already slipped into insanity. Now you have to pull yourself out."
I was about to speak but Scourge started to eat. Until she was finished there would be silence. She considered dinner a time of reflection. I ate and tried to meditate. But my mind kept switching things to focus on. At one point it was the flames and at another it was the stars in the sky.
Scourge was right. I had already been consumed by insanity.
* * *
It had been two weeks since that talk. Two weeks of traveling with a destination in mind. Whenever we passed by Beastclans, Scourge only had to announce who she was and they respectfully went in the other direction. The Wildclaw had told me that it was through a series of negotiations that Seitou's Clan was at peace with all Beastclans. It must have been a hard struggle, but the enigmatic dragon would reveal nothing specific.
"Elfangor, it is good to meet again." Scourge said and I looked to who she had been speaking to.
A second before he came into view, I saw movement. It was doubtful without the Wildclaw's warning I would've seen him before it was too late. The Mirror moved out of the shadow of a tree and into the sunlight.
His skin was a perfect color to hide in the ocean and his eyes indicated he was originally from a Water Flight. The clothing he wore blended into the color of his skin as if they were one and the same.
"You brought someone?" Elfangor asked and tilted his head.
"Kali." Scourge replied and looked at me. "She has stories to tell of a threat to Sornieth."
"Jorah and Alex have inquired about you. They are wondering if you will stay this time."
"Soon I will return."
With that she took to the sky and flew away. I looked at Elfangor and felt a need to attack him. He had been so good at hiding. I wondered if that same cleverness would make him an excellent fighter. No, I had to get revenge for my clan. Not until all the demons were dead would I feel at peace.
"Come with me, Kali." Elfangor said and I followed him.
I found it hard to think of anything to say and so was glad when he didn't talk. He handed me to a strange Coatl called Vergere. She looked at me and nodded. I followed her to an open area that appeared to be where she slept. Impressions of dragons littered the area.
"So what brings you to this clan?" Vergere asked and sat on the ground.
Her eyes looked at me in a way similar but different to Scourge's. Like the Wildclaw, the Coatl seemed as if she could look at every piece of me. As if I were nothing more than an interesting scroll. Yet even with the uneasiness that was making me want to kill her, she was less wild than Scourge. A worthy adversary for another day.
"I need to kill those that took my life from me." I replied with a growl. "I need to find allies that can help me kill my enemies."
"What happened to your previous clan?" Vergere asked and I shivered.
"Freedom did not suit me and I killed them. Maybe I should've listened to Tarik and stayed a slave."
"Being free means making mistakes and correcting what you can. You were right to seek freedom and tomorrow Seitou will hear you. For now you can sleep as I assume, with Scourge as your guide, the journey has left you weary."
I nodded and allowed exhaustion to lead me into the dark. Maybe I would never wake up and that would be okay. Scourge knew something was wrong and could warn the others. All I wanted to do was kill and fade into nothing.
No comments:
Post a Comment