Now Ax and myself were sitting on my bed with an empty cinnamon bun box. It wasn't empty because we had enjoyed eating, but because he had eaten them all before he had arrived. I didn't mind as his antics amused me and this was like him. Andalites didn't have a mouth, so I would think it odd if he had actually given me even half a cinnamon bun if I didn't tell him to.
That might be an unfair thing to say, but it was true the majority of the time.
You still have it? Ax asked.
When we had found it safe he had demorphed. He was still a little too large for the room, but he fit.
"Yes." I said. "But don't some Hereth illints last longer than others? You don't really think I should worry, do you?"
Ax looked at me as he considered this. While he was the most knowledgeable in this area he was still a teenager, not much different in age than the original Animorphs. And, like a lot of kids, he had been distracted in school. No matter how cool I found alien life it was normal for him. Might even be as boring as history for me.
There hasn't been enough research in the area. He finally said, but I felt like it was him giving me a sense of false hope to hang onto. It is entirely possible.
"Yeah, and pigs fly." I said under my breath.
I am sure, with genetic engineering, that is entirely possible. Ax said and a small grin escaped me.
I had used the phrase with him before and he was very aware of what it meant. It was nice that he was trying to joke to cheer me up. Even if the joke was weak.
"Getting better." I told him and he did the odd Andalite smile with his eyes.
He came over and put an arm around me and I took comfort in his touch. Ax wasn't human, but he was the one that was here now. The one I had wanted with me since the Hereth illint started. And now, with this news, I knew he was the only one that I could trust.
You should go back to the others. Ax told me.
"Is that because you care or that you're tired of hiding another secret from the group?" I asked and hoped he'd answer like I wanted him to.
I think that you hiding here isn't helping you. You're not allowing anyone to give you comfort. Ax finally replied, realizing the importance of his answer.
"I'm allowing you."
I'm not human and I don't fully understand your species yet. I don't think I can fully comfort you like you should be.
"You're better than a slug in my brain."
Anything is better than a Yeerk. Ax said harshly.
"So, tell me, am I ever going to play the violin again?" I asked and Ax just stared at me blankly. "I mean is the Hereth illint permanent for me?"
What does Hereth illint have to do with a violin?
"It's one of the odd human phrases."
I'll remember that. Ax said and paused. I could tell he was afraid of telling me what we both already knew. Hereth illint hasn't be studied since it is a very rare occurrence. It is entirely possibly that you might have the disease permanently.
"And that's what has happened." I said and he turned his eyes away from me. Which was impressive for an Andalite. "You know that. You have to."
Yes, the thought has run through my mind. I don't think it has to be permanent.
I laughed. Yeah, not permanent. Ax was a child thinking that there wasn't anything he couldn't fix. But there were some things that couldn't be changed. There were things you had to live with no matter how much you didn't want to.
I thought being a host was one of those things, but that didn't turn out to be the case. However, Hereth illint wouldn't be like that. I wouldn't ever escape it.
"I'll be moving." I told Ax. "I've encountered one Controller and I don't need another one to check up on it."
Where will you go? Ax asked and I told him.
I told him in detail about the place I had gone to on a trip when I had been unaware of the Yeerk invasion of Earth.
Afterward Ax raised his hand and then put it back down. Tobias had once told me that Ax's species kissed with their hands. But that was most likely not what Ax had intended to do, he had probably meant to shake my hand and then found the human action too hard for him.
After he morphed into a Northern Harrier I opened the window and watched as he flew away.
I started to pack and hoped my plan would work. I hoped that Ax trusted me enough to not realize how far I would go to protect the group. Ax would go to where I had said, but he wouldn't find me.
I now had to hide myself from him.
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