Tuesday, March 8, 2022

To Die For You If Need Be Chapter 1: A Decree From No One

This is a Game of Thrones fic. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.

Jorah Mormont

It had been weeks since I had last seen Daenerys Targaryen. It had been even longer since I had become infected with greyscale. If not for her I would've killed myself as there had been nothing left to live for. All my pain and sins had come back to haunt me for as long as they could.

The noonday sun of Braavos felt cold compared to Meereen's. After traveling with my queen and the Dothraki for so long, the city felt overly opulent. Though it wasn't the most majestic city I had seen in either Westeros or Essos. Again I looked around to make sure no pickpockets were about to get more than money when they attempted to rob me.

Not only would I feel great guilt if greyscale broke out in the city, but I didn't have much money left to spend on a boat. As Daenerys would be having enough trouble gaining a fleet of her own, she couldn't help me out. Nor would I want her to if she could as I was sentenced for death. It was only her command that made me seek passage to the Citadel in Oldtown.

I looked at people in fine clothing that contrasted greatly to my own attire. There was nothing that spelled me out as anything but a man struggling to make my way in the world. Nothing would make people think I once was an advisor to a queen. Those people had coin enough to spare but I didn't want to risk infecting them. I also couldn't accept a high paying job as that would take time. Time I didn't have.

It would be more than easy to break into a dwelling and take what I needed. The thought of becoming a common thief didn't please me but there was no other choice. What rich man would throw enough coin for a ship to what appeared to be a common beggar? Someone who was not to be trusted.

A fight broke out and I stopped to watch. Two grown men were arguing about some unimportant matter. Something about the other ******* their wife. Or maybe they were calling each other's wives whores. What they were angry about didn't matter. What did matter was that one man's coin purse seemed dangerously close to falling off. If it fell then I had a few precious seconds to grab it without anyone noticing.

I walked closer as if my life was so mundane that this common brawl deserved my undivided attention. There! There was my chance! In the scuffle one man's coin purse fell down. I bent down yelling to hide stealing the purse. I quickly hid it in my cloak and continued to acting interested in the fight. Once the fight was finished, I walked away quickly with the rest of the dispersing crowd.

Upon finding a quiet patch of the city, I looked at how much money had been gained. It wasn't much but it brought me one step closer to passage to Westeros. At one point I had considered the continent home, but no longer. My home was Daenerys and to return to her I needed to find a cure for my greyscale.

If a cure actually existed.

Before I had left Daenerys, she had promised me her bed. She had promised to make me her king. After everything I had hid from her, she trusted me enough to grant me the highest honor. A man who had once soiled his House's name would become a ruler of Westeros. It seemed impossible but my love did much that people called impossible.

Even though I had traveled a great distance with Tyrion Lannister and helped to free her from the Dothraki, I knew her forgiveness would not be so easily won. So I hadn't accepted defeat and tried once again by participating in the fighting pits of Meereen. When she had been captured afterwards, I helped her but knew that she would send me away yet again. This time, though, I would not return.

It had surprised me when Daenerys had not only forgiven me but anointed me her king. She said she needed me by her side when she retook the Iron Throne. She, Daario, and myself knew what that meant. He wouldn't be in her bed much longer as she would throw him away once she set sail for Westeros.

The joy that went through my entire being was impossible to describe. I now had something to fight for yet again. Before she had made me turn away from dreams of Bear Island to serve by her side. Yet again I was denying fate because she asked it. She wanted me to live and so I would. The gods themselves seemed to bend to her will.

I felt a pair of eyes on me as I put the coin purse away. Without appearing like I noticed anything odd, I continued to walk around the city. I looked at various merchants and some of their wares. My eyes looked around without seeming frightened. People happened to look around all the time. Though a Faceless Man would be able to read the fear clearly on me.

But who would send one of those feared assassins after me? Daario Naharis may be jealous of me, but he didn't have the funds necessary to secure the services of a Faceless Man. He would also know that if Daenerys ever found out he would be a dead man.

It wasn't my intention to buy anything but the apples were more than tempting. After paying more than they were worth, I walked away with one. Its simple taste was filling after the insects that had sustained me during my travels. Though, depending how expensive of a price the captains were asking, this one apple might cost me my life. And if I didn't make it to Oldtown, my promise to Daenerys to find a cure would be unfulfilled. How could I live with that oath broken?

I walked toward a small piece of shade. It wouldn't do to wear myself out before I worked out how to pay for a ship to Oldtown. If eating an apple was affecting me, I needed to rest. Though I couldn't rest too long as once the sun set it meant I'd have to sleep on the streets. Not only was it not the way a future king should be seen, it was dangerous.

I let out a sigh once I sat down and saw there wasn't anyone nearby. The sense I was being watched didn't go away. No one knew I was here so there was no one to worry about. It was doubtful a common thief or murderer could surprise me. Even in my current state.

My mind counted every piece of coin I currently held. Maybe there was enough to pay for passage if only I lowered my expectations. Then there was the question if a captain would even accept a man suffering from greyscale. A respectable captain would shun me and for good reason. Which meant I couldn't tell him or else pay enough to make it worth his while.

It had been pure chance that a stranger's coin came into my possession. It was extremely unlikely that such an opportunity would come to me ever again. If it were so easy to become rich, beggars would not exist. So my next move would have to be strategic. My nobility served me well in many areas, but not now.

In the corner of my eye I saw a strangely familiar girl. It might have been that she was one of the few people walking by and so caught my attention. She was unremarkable to the point she could blend in with any crowd. Could she actually be following me? I pulled down my hood further than before even though that might cause her to pay even more attention to me.

A strange girl nearing maidenhood didn't concern me. I should be focused on figuring out how to steal again instead of some stranger. Pick pocketing was an option though if I was caught once, it could mean people were more suspicious of me. Though my attire didn't say I was anything but a commoner. Just like the strange girl that might be following me.

She was now getting closer to me though it looked like a pure accident. But what if it wasn't? What if she was following me for some nefarious reason? Now that I turned to look at her, there was something threatening in her footsteps. Something familiar. Something different. Something dangerous.

Her eyes did not avoid mine and it felt like she could see to the deepest parts of my soul. Parts that even I didn't know about. Parts that would shock Daenerys to her core. My instincts were yelling at me to run. They said that if I stayed still even a moment longer she would kill me. They also told me the time to run had come and gone as soon as she had looked at me.

When she was mere feet in front of me I realized why she was so familiar to me. Her features were those of a Stark. My mind then raced to match the face to when I would have seen or heard of her before my exile. Arya. Arya Stark.

"Lady Stark." I said quietly with a slight bow of my head.

I couldn't tell if she was happy, angry, shocked, or felt any emotion at our meeting. Whatever she had encountered in her travels had been enough to change her. I had known many Starks in my time and none had a lack of emotion like her.

"Jorah Mormont." Arya replied just as silently.

"I am happy to see you're alive." I said.

"I can't say the same about you."

"How did you recognize me?"

"Your belt."

There was a bear on my belt. She was very observant to pick out such a detail in a crowd. Though I had been avoiding as many people as possible. Not that the fact diminished her skill. It meant she had been observing everyone in detail. I'm sure that a Stark or two had such powers of observation, but it wasn't common.

"If I may ask, what is your business in Braavos?" I asked.

"I'm leaving." Arya replied curtly.

"I didn't mean to offend you."

She was silent and I didn't know if I had offended her or not. It could be that she couldn't be bothered with answering. Or she was in the city for a private reason. As her House had been gutted, it could be that she had fled to Braavos purely for safety. That would mean the reason she wasn't responding was due to the painful memories.

"Why are you alive?" Arya asked.

"I don't know." I replied.

I didn't know why but my life wasn't meant to last for much longer. Soon my greyscale would progress to a point where I'd have to decide if suicide or madness was a better fate. I couldn't imagine turning into an unthinking monster ruled by an unshakable need for violence. I also couldn't imagine ending my own life.

"Will you be returning to Winterfell?" I asked. "Winterfell needs a Stark."

"Why do you care?" Arya retorted.

"I may have shamed my House, but I will always be a Northerner at heart. I will always care about the fate of your House."

"I will return once I'm finished."

Finished with what? Why had her voice grown so cold? No, there was something much more than coldness in her voice. There was strength and resolve in her voice. Resolve that men much older than her had trouble finding. There was little doubt in my mind that she could kill anyone that angered her.

It was more than possible that she had been trained in the House of Black and White. If she had then there was nothing that could stop her. She didn't look like someone who was currently one of the feared assassins which meant she'd impressed someone enough to go free.

"Finished with what?" I asked before I realized the words were out of my mouth.

"My list." Arya replied. "It's the only thing that has kept me alive."

"A kill list."

"I will kill everyone who has dared to harm my family. My father was beheaded for a crime he didn't commit. Robb and my mother were murdered at the Red Wedding. I'm going to King's Landing to kill Cersei."

"You will please many people when you do."

"I don't care. I just want her dead."

She shouldn't have to carry the burden of revenge. She should be safe in Winterfell and content to let others deal with these problems. Though it impressed me greatly that this young woman had decided to take on a task men much older than her would avoid. She had traveled to Essos in secret and trained as a Faceless Man all in the name of avenging her family.

"I arrived after the Red Wedding." Arya said and her facade crumbled for a moment. "I'm going to kill the Freys first. Then I'll make my way to King's Landing."

The Freys had been poor hosts. You didn't kill guests without facing consequences. The vengeance of House Stark would come in such an innocent form. With her abilities Arya wouldn't even have to reveal herself unless she wanted to.

"Am I part of your list, Arya?" I asked.

I wasn't afraid if I was. The chances that there was a cure to greyscale was small. The Stark could grant me a quicker death than I otherwise would have. Hopefully Daenerys wouldn't see this as me giving up the fight. I also hoped that she wouldn't blame herself for my demise and suffer endless nights thinking about what she should have done.

"You should be." Arya replied. "My father and brother were supposed to execute you for selling people into slavery. Instead of facing justice, you ran into exile. You don't deserve to breathe. They died and yet you're alive?"

"I won't be alive much longer." I said and rolled up my sleeve just enough to reveal my greyscale. "I was transporting Tyrion Lannister to Queen Daenerys Targaryen when a Stone Man touched me. My Queen has ordered me to find a cure so that I may return to her side."

The young woman stepped back and there was a hint of pity in her eyes. No matter what life had made her, she was still human. There was a heart that felt empathy for reasons that couldn't be explained.

"How long do you have?" Arya asked.

"I don't know." I replied and pulled my sleeve back down. "All I know is that my time is limited and I don't have enough to pay for a ship to Westeros. If you kill me now it will be a mercy as there is no cure that I know of."

"Then why try to find one?"

"My queen commanded me."

Arya's hand went over the hilt of her sword and I accepted my fate. Whether my fate was to meet the end of her blade or to be saved by her. There were some destines a man couldn't avoid.

"I can't kill a man that's already destined to die." Arya said and handed me some coin. "This will pay for a ship to Westeros."

"Thank you, Lady Stark." I replied with a bow.

"I'm not doing this to help you. Killing you now means you don't suffer. Letting you live with the hope of a cure is better than killing you."

"And if I do find a cure?"

"I'll let you live. The Many-Faced God will have shown he didn't want you to die today."

I wanted to wish her well in her quest to kill both the Freys and Cersei Lannister. But I couldn't think of the right words to use to express my sentiments. Any words or phrases sounded insincere to my mind. Besides, even if I could figure out what to say she might not believe me. She had only decided not to kill me because I had greyscale, not because she cared for me.

"Until we meet again, Lady Stark." I finally managed to say.

Arya said nothing and walked away from me. Though there was a brief moment when she turned to look at me. I gave a brief nod and then made my way to a ship. It took me over an hour to find a ship whose captain would even talk to me. After making sure of how much money I now carried, I offered him coin just to talk to me.

"I'm leaving in half an hour, I don't have time to take more passengers." The man said as he took my coin.

"I won't cause trouble." I replied and gave him more coin.

"You don't look like you'll be much trouble. Where are you headed?"

"To Oldtown."

"You're in luck, I'm headed that way."

A few minutes later and we had agreed on the price for my passage. If I had shown him how much I had, I wouldn't have any coin left. His greed was to be expected as I was inconveniencing him. The money might have encouraged him to head towards Oldtown as he had been extremely jovial about going there.

I went onto the ship and stood on the deck as it left port. It was an extremely weird feeling to be headed back to Westeros. I had arrived in Essos while fleeing exile. Now I was leaving Braavos to fulfill my promise to Daenerys.

Would my father be proud of me now? Or would he think that I deserved a traitor's death? Would he think that Arya had made a wise choice?

I took a deep breath as the city of Braavos faded into the distance. Whatever he would have thought, I would go forward and be a worthy king.

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