Thursday, March 14, 2013

Inbetween: Death of the Five 4

It had been a few hours since I had come clean to Qui-Gon. For the first time in a long time, I felt nervous. For many years I had merely been hiding beneath a mask so I could be who I wanted. I could have any past I chose. Well, as long as my fake identifications were good enough. And they had worked for the most part.

We had both moved to the Jedi Master's cabin. I had an odd suspicion that he was trying to make me comfortable. Making it so that I would give the location of the Heart of the Darkness to him and reveal more about myself. Sadly, it was having the intended effect on me.

Qui-Gon sat on his bed while I sat on a chair. We didn't sit side by side. We were comrades at the moment and our positions reminded us of that fact.

"So you're a-" He started.

"Less evolved human than you are. Yes." I said. "It doesn't insult me. It happens to be true."

"But you are from a different galaxy." He looked over my body thoroughly. I didn't get the sense there was anything sexual in his glance, more so the look someone gives a new discovery.

"It's an odd coincidence." I replied, some part of me enjoying his gaze on me. Even if it wasn't an invitation. "Sometimes creatures evolve similarly to others. Though I might not be a stage of your evolution. I prefer to keep things simple and call myself something less evolved."

"Though your abilities would suggest otherwise."

I shook my head. "My abilities were given to me by science. As I was before, I would be more similar to another human in this galaxy."

"I doubt that." There was a slight pause. "You are from a different galaxy. I doubt you'd be too similar."

If I hadn't been a Navigator a small smile might've formed on my face. As it was I looked into his eyes and shook my head.

"Me being a Navigator is what makes me different from others. Not because of my powers, but in terms of my long life span." I replied. "There is no one I knew from before that I can talk to. While others can understand and connect with me, they can't ever fully understand me."

Qui-Gon looked down as if in contemplation. It looked as though he wanted to argue that he was different. That I viewed him differently. I wanted to assume that would be because he needed to complete his mission.

"How do you relate to people now?" He finally asked. "You are right that you've lived longer than any human should have to live."

"You mean like how I relate to you?" I thought about this for a good minute. I didn't know how to accurately explain how I didn't. Or at least I liked to think I didn't and our interactions were purely for his mission. "I know you are a living, thinking being. That you have hopes and dreams. That, being a Jedi, you have encountered loses. That's really the way I relate to you."

But that wasn't really accurate. If that was the only way I related to him, I wouldn't have told him about Navigators. Wouldn't have admitted that I knew where the ship he was searching for was located.

"That's a bleak way to view the universe." Qui-Gon replied.

It was as though he knew I was lying. But if I was lying, so was he.

"And how do you relate to me?" I asked and there was a pause. Being the Jedi Master he was, he allowed no look of shock or confusion to stay on his face very long. But I could sense it. I could sense it like someone could smell a strong perfume.

"I'm a Jedi. My connection to the Force is all I need." He replied and I knew arguing would get me nowhere. He hadn't replied to the question I asked, but he had replied to the question I meant.

"The way I view the universe is also because of what I am." I said. "What I was made to be. Even after using the Cure, somethings about me being a Navigator has not changed."

"I'm sure you will be able to feel like you did before." His annoyance at my question seemed to be forgotten. And if not forgotten, at least he felt sympathy more than anger. Probably his Jedi training helped him in that respect.

"I won't be holding my breath for it. It's been too long to expect something like that to change."

Qui-Gon nodded. "But you can still lead me to the Heart of the Darkness. I know you want to help me. I doubt revealing your past is something you'd do if you didn't intend to help me."

I looked at him and then looked away.
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