To Die For You If Need Be Chapter 5: The Arrival

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Daenerys Targaryen

I had to act like this wasn't affecting me as much as it was. Queens, especially the first queen that would sit on the Iron Throne, needed to appear strong. I couldn't allow my men to see how human I really was. I couldn't let myself break the facade that had earned me the loyalty of the people that would gladly die for me now.

So as I sat on the small boat that went farther away from the ship and closer to Dragonstone, I pretended to hardly be interested in my destination. Everyone probably knew my feelings on finally arriving at Dragonstone, but that didn't matter. What mattered was the act I was doing to keep their loyalty. They wouldn't follow me if I broke down crying in joy.

Missandei and Grey Worm were in the boat with me. I wasn't going to leave them out of such a momentous occasion. They deserved to be with me after all they had done. Missandei had been a loyal friend and Grey Worm had sworn his fealty to me once I freed him. Maybe them being with me would help me feel stronger.

Also on the boat were a few Dothraki and Tyrion. There were also two more boats with more Dothraki just in case Cersei had anticipated me coming back to Dragonstone. Though there was no reason to expect the false queen set a trap. She was spending her time gloating about her victory and focusing on Westeros. Why would she bother with this island until after news of my arrival came to her?

I looked to my left to see Tyrion being calm. He was my Hand and had to be more than he actually was. But his calm was due to the wine he had drank earlier. Or at least that's what I assumed. He always knew where and how to get wine whenever he needed it. At least he was in control so he didn't appear drunk. Maybe he hadn't drank enough to get himself drunk.

Though I wanted to turn around to look at Missandei for reassurance, that would mean my men would know how scared I was. It was a good nervousness. There had been few moments in my life that allowed me to feel pure joy. So this moment was hard for me to deal with and understand.

I focused on the salty air. Unlike Meereen, it wasn't as warm. Nothing would ever be as warm as the cities I had traveled to in Essos. Nothing would ever be as free as that continent either. Over there violence was viewed as the law. Westeros, though, was a place of politics. If I was ever to be obeyed here I would need to remember that.

"How certain are you that no one else is here?" I asked Tyrion.

"The last person to rule Dragonstone was Stannis Baratheon." Tyrion answered. "I highly doubt he left a large part of his army here. He was more concerned with sitting on the Iron Throne than this place. Those that were left here most likely went to Westeros for food, shelter, and work. Dragonstone is an island after all."

I saw a small smirk on his face. While my men would be able to tell that I was nervous, I had shown that I put great faith in those loyal to me.

Dragonstone seemed to be flying as quickly as one of my dragons towards me. Drogon, Viserion, and Rhaegal had been flying around the island since I had started traveling to its shores. It seemed impossible that I be here and yet...yet here I was. Not only was I returning home, but I was coming with my own army that sought to reclaim the Iron Throne for my House.

I had dreamed about this moment for years. It was an image that gave me strength in the darkest of times. The reality was more beautiful than I could ever have imagined. The scent of salt was thick in my nose and the waves pounding on the beach made my blood flow faster. It was such a perfect moment in time that I hardly dared believe it. No perfection like this could exist in the world.

My mouth was barely able to stop a sigh from leaving my lips as the small boat pushed into the sand. Once the boat was far enough on land, I stepped out in a way that hopefully didn't seem too excited. I walked farther onto land and looked at the cliffs in front of me.

Even though I didn't have memories of this place, my soul remembered. This was the home I had been searching so fervently for. All my doubts were removed simply by being on the island. Of course I would defeat Cersei and rule on the Iron Throne with Jorah Mormont by my side. And with whichever man I married for purely political reasons.

If only Jorah could be with me now. If only he could celebrate this joy with me. But at least he would be joining me as soon as he cured himself. I couldn't tell him I loved him and not be able to spend any time with him. The gods would not allow that to happen. They couldn't.

I knelt on the sand and placed one hand on the ground. Dragonstone seemed to pulse with a fierce energy. It felt happy to have a Targaryen on its shores once again. I would not disappoint my ancestors. This island would be the start of my conquest.

My dragons had helped me to get here. It was much easier to have people follow me with three dragons at my command. But now I would have to rely more on my wisdom than their intimidation.

I stood up and looked slowly toward my destination. From the maps I had seen of the island I knew where the throne room was. With a glance at Tyrion, the man walked beside me as we went towards it.

Dragonstone had once been the home to House Targaryen and yet my family seemed to be erased from history. No one was here to greet me and praise that the island's rightful ruler was back. The only signs of anyone having lived here were a few pieces of clothing and items that had been discarded.

With every step I went deeper into the island. Jorah should be experiencing this moment with me. I needed his strength to keep me from breaking down. No, I had my own strength. He had been beside me in the past but I didn't need him. My heart would shatter if he died, but I could do this on my own.

I had done much harder things with no one else to guide me. There was always help, but sometimes the only one able to make a decision was me.

The buildings nearly made me cry. They were still here! I wouldn't only start my conquest on Dragonstone, I would also give it to House Mormont once I was on my deathbed. I could never have children and so it couldn't be given to my descendants.

It would take a lot of convincing to make Tyrion understand.

My heart raced as we got closer to the throne. Stepping onto the island was an experience all on its own. But sitting on the throne was even more momentous. It had been far too long since a Targaryen had sat on it. Though my goal was the Iron Throne, connecting to my history meant more than words could say.

Finally we walked into the Throne Room and I had to stop myself from gasping. It was more regal than I had known it would be. Though it was also simple in appearance. It appeared to have been carved from the stone surrounding it. I wondered how uncomfortable sitting on it would be.

I started walking to it and everyone waited. This was the true start of my conquest of the Seven Kingdoms. Reaching Dragonstone meant that defeating Cersei and claiming her stolen throne for myself could be done. It was astounding that a girl abused by her brother could ever have grown so strong.

I put a hand on the throne and then sat on it. I looked at my men. A few who I considered friends and others who would gladly kill for me. This was one of the safest places I could be. At least for now. Once Cersei was alerted to my presence no place would be safe for me. Unless I fled to Essos once more. Though she might decide to send assassins to kill me across the sea as I could rise up once again.

After a few minutes of sitting on the slightly uncomfortable throne, I stood up and made my way to the Room of the Painted Table. Somehow my mind became clearer once I got closer to the room. Conquering had to be easier than what came after.

"We should have seen people." Grey Worm said once we entered the room.

"No one is seeking to kill me now." I replied calmly and took my place at the head of the table. "Cersei isn't aware that I've taken control of Dragonstone. The news will reach her soon, I'm sure of that, but for now we're safe."

I watched as Missandei and Tyrion sat at the table while the others kept standing. Even though I was in no danger, Grey Worm positioned himself so he could show me attention while still being ready to defend me. The Dothraki faced the door to the room, though a few faced the opposite side.

The real first meeting would take place after my allies got comfortable. But, for now, I wanted to feel like I was doing something. Like things weren't going much slower than I wanted them to.

"Shouldn't we wait until the others arrive, Daenerys?" Missandei asked.

"There are things we can discuss without the others." I reassured her. "If I didn't want their opinions, I would have declined their offer to become allies."

"Waiting is the hardest part." Tyrion said with a sigh. "You have to depend on everyone else to do something."

"And do others often disappoint you?" I asked.

"Yes. I drink as wine will never make me angry." Tyrion was a good advisor but his vice of drinking could get grating. I felt that there were certain situations that called for sobriety. He, on the other hand, thought every situation called for a drink. Hopefully the Westerosi people found that trait to be amusing now that he was my Hand.

"You're back home." Missandei said and smiled at me. "I'm glad I could share this day with you."

"You're one of the few to constantly be by my side, of course I needed you to be with me." I replied.

"I never expected to be freed from slavery."

"You'll get used to this place."

"I'm not sure that I will but I'll never leave your side."

Missandei turned her head slightly to catch a glimpse of Grey Worm. She was my friend but he was her love. Not that they had ever ******. At least not that I knew about. I was sure that if they had ****** she would tell me. We would share in her joy as she finally consummated her relationship.

"I'm glad." I replied. "I'm not sure what I would do if any of you left my service."

"You would find yourself with more wine if I left you." Tyrion joked. "Not that my family would ever make it safe for me in Westeros."

"You won't need to fear your sister for much longer. Westeros will have that plague removed soon."

I had three dragons at my side. What danger would I need to fear from Cersei? She was only human and men only followed her out of fear. If they saw even one of my children they would abandon her side. Though I didn't know if they would turn from her only to bend the knee to me. Aegon hadn't won the Seven Kingdoms with no blood spilled.

"I don't think the Dothraki followed you to Westeros for anything but a long and bloody war." Tyrion said. "They won't want this war to be easily won."

"They followed me because I burned the other khals alive." I retorted. "They will follow my orders. No matter what they are."

"Are you sure?"

"I will not use my dragons to burn Westeros to ashes. So there will be battles to fight that will make them happy enough. And their honor will make it extremely hard to disagree with me."

"Drogo's men disagreed with him which got him killed."

"His children weren't dragons."

Even after all this time my heart felt Drogo's loss. He was the first man to show me both love and respect. For the first time I realized there was strength deep inside me that Viserys had tried to suppress. If not for my husband I might have never realized the conqueror that lived inside of me.

"You'll use your dragons." Missandei said. "I don't believe you'll burn a city to the ground, but you will use them."

"Using them as a show of force would be useful." Tyrion added. "A battle that will have heavy causalities and take place far enough away from the smallfolk."

"Things would be much easier if I could burn down King's Landing." I said. "Not the whole city, just the Red Keep. Cersei would be dead and no one would dare oppose me."

"My sister used dragonfire inside the city to kill those who would dare oppose her. Even if you killed only her, people couldn't help but make the comparison."

I felt sick. To think that my actions could be compared to the pretender. How could I say I was better than her if I did the same things? She had killed her enemies in one swift motion no matter the danger to the people she ruled. Drogon could easily destroy the Red Keep but what other damage would he do? How many people could the Red Keep kill simply by falling?

"I would never burn a city down." I replied. "I am here to break the wheel. I am not going to become a villain that men, women, and children fear. So I know that making the Westerosi fear me is not how I want to win this war. Though I hope to make Cersei fall down in terror before I kill her."

"I'm sure the commoners will bring the woman to you and no one will defend her." Missandei said with a mischievous grin.

"People are more certain to follow you, if you fight correctly." Tyrion nodded. "You can't fight just to win. You have to fight to show the Westerosi that Cersei is lying about you. If you prove Cersei right then they may decide that she's the safer bet."

It would be so much easier if my only goal was to claim the Iron Throne. But there was much I wanted done with my reign. I wanted to break the wheel and leave Westeros a better place. But none of that could be done if the smallfolk sided with Cersei. If they did then it would be harder, or impossible, to show how much I cared for their well-being. I wanted to be trusted and loved by them so they would turn to me for help.

"We'll have to wait to plan an attack." I said. "We'll need the perfect opportunity to make my presence known."

"Cersei might not give us that chance." Tyrion replied. "We must be prepared to react to her until we have other ideas."

"I am always grateful for your opinions, Tyrion, but any course of action will be decided at a later meeting. Varys had a network of spies in the past and I assume he'll repair that network soon. His spies may even be key in planning a winning strategy."

I heard my children let out a roar and suddenly wanted to be in the skies once again. This war with the Lannister wouldn't be simple and flying on Drogon was relaxing. Riding him helped me to forget all the responsibilities resting on my shoulders. It was up to me to defeat Cersei and bring Westeros into a new golden era.

And what if I failed?

"You need to rest." I said and looked at my friends. "Later we'll continue this discussion."

Missandei, Grey Worm, and the Dothraki left the room. The only one to remain with me was Tyrion. I don't know why he did. Maybe it was obvious to everyone how much pain I was in with Jorah near death. Or maybe it was only obvious to him.

"You wanted Jorah here with you." Tyrion said in a gentle voice.

"Of course." I replied sadly. "It was good to arrive here, but he was missing. If he dies then it will be as if I killed my own husband."

"Daenerys, Jorah made his own choices. His death will fall on him."

"You don't feel guilty about your part?"

"He kidnapped me. When I suggested you send him back into exile, he was already infected."

Tyrion was right. He could feel sad about Jorah's death but he couldn't feel guilty. It wasn't like he was the one who had tried to act like a noble queen and sent Jorah into exile. The pain of that day would haunt me even more if he were to die.

"Jorah will return to you." Tyrion said. "He trusts in you and will follow your final command. But may I make a suggestion?"

"You may." I replied.

"Don't waste your days looking for a ship bearing him. You have a throne to win."