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Khaleesi and I walked through the Red Keep and she kept marveling at everything she saw. If I had been human a smile would have come unbidden onto my face. After much debate everyone of high enough rank was allowed to stay in this place of safety. Though no one truly believed the Lannister would keep her word. It was not in her nature to do so. So all my senses were kept alert in case an assassination attempt was made on my life or my love's. I could escape into another body if I wanted to, but that seemed to be the coward's way out to me.
"My family owned all of this." Khaleesi said and stopped to put her hand against a wall. "I dreamed about this place so much that it seems like a fantasy."
[It is yours.] I replied proudly. [It is a reward for all the hardships you had to endure. It is a reward for becoming the queen Westeros needs.]
"You know what's funny, Jorah? Sometimes I don't think I actually want to sit on the Iron Throne. It feels like something Viserys would want."
[Then why fight so hard to get here? Why not stay in Essos?]
"After I saw the bloody star, I felt the gods had given me a great destiny. It didn't seem possible that I could rise from the fire unscathed and not be part of a great story. Ever since you stopped me from burning King's Landing, I've thought a great deal about who I am. I've thought a great deal about how my emotions shaped me."
I could feel the pain in my love's voice. While I had felt hurt by her actions, she had been crumbling inside. It had been evident to me that she was changing but Bran had been more important to my mind. If he wasn't defeated there was no chance of living a happy life with Khaleesi. Of course I had not become dismissive of my love's well-being, but I had not been fully attentive if I had missed this change.
[It might have started out as a delusion in your mind, but it has become real.] I reassured my love. [You had the Dothraki cross the Narrow Sea, you dismantled slavery in Essos, and you fought in the Battle of Winterfell with dragonglass. You are the rightful queen of the Seven Kingdoms.]
"What about Jon's claim to the throne?" She asked. "Isn't he just as worthy a ruler as me?"
[He is will make a fine Warden of the North, but he is no king.]
"You think Jon would make a good ruler?"
My thoughts had managed to betray me. I had not meant for her to hear my feelings about Jon as I was trying to consul her. I was trying to make her see that even if she was having doubts, they were unfounded. She had done more than enough to assure a time of peace for Westeros. She could help with forming my home into a greater place than it had originally been. Her rule would be a blessed reward for all those who had supported her. Jon would make a good ruler, of course he would, but I hadn't meant for her to hear that now.
[He rose from a mere bastard to the of King of the North.] I said reluctantly. [He earned the loyalty of his people not from his blood, but from his actions. He risked everything to bend the knee to you. He risked everything to save Westeros from the Night King.]
"And the Night King was a true hero." Khaleesi said softly and started to walk again. "If Jon had failed in preparing the North for the Night King, maybe Bran would be dead."
[A being so powerful probably had another plan in case things turned out differently.]
"What will happen if Jon is Azor Ahai? Will he be able to kill his own blood? He wasn't even able to lie to Cersei about bending the knee to me."
[I think when he refused to lie to the Lannister it was because he wanted to impress you.]
"Love does make you men do stupid things."
I let out what I thought was a chuckle but was something else as Khaleesi looked around scared. It took her a moment to calm back down again. I looked to where she was leading us and I recognized the hallway that went to her bedroom. Our footsteps echoed in an empty hallway where only a few guards and Dothraki patrolled. The nomads had an angry look on their faces as if asking the guards to attack.
"There is another thing I've been thinking about, Jorah." Khaleesi said after she shut her door behind us. "I believe we can make love again. You can enter the mind of a dragon which means you can enter the body of a human. You won't have to be stuck in Ghost's body. You can **** me again."
If I had still had only two legs I would've fallen. With four legs I managed to merely stumble. My soul had given up the hope of making love to Khaleesi again and so the idea had never occurred to me. She was, right, though, whatever barrier I had managed to break when entering Drogon's mind meant it was possible to enter a human body. My eyes looked down at my paws and imagined seeing hands again. The colors in the world would be bright instead of the faded tints my direwolf eyes now showed me. Why wasn't I as happy about this as I should be?
[If we do find a human, I won't be in him all the time.] I said and hoped Khaleesi didn't notice the shock in my thoughts. [There are things about a direwolf that I can't bear to give up.]
"We'll have a crown made for you that will fit a direwolf's head." Khaleesi said with a smile.
[Do you want me as your king so badly because you're afraid?]
Khaleesi was silent for a moment. I wondered how much of the thoughts I wanted to keep secret had entered her head. I shouldn't have said anything as I was also afraid. I was afraid of becoming king. I was afraid of being Azor Ahai. Lyanna Mormont, in one of her final acts, had forgiven me and so allowed me back home. If she had lived I would have had a celebration upon arriving back to Bear Island. Maybe I would have been offered me my old position of Lord of Bear Island.
"You're afraid too." She replied and sat on her bed.
[Wouldn't it be odd for you to make love to a man that didn't have my body?] I asked to try and take back my thoughts.
While she thought I walked to her side so she could pet behind my ear. It felt so good when she scratched me. This feeling would be something I'd miss if I were to abandon Ghost's body altogether. My body would never be returned to me, a reality I had grown used to, and so it felt right to take in small pleasures like this.
"It will be." Khaleesi replied. "I guess we could find a body that looks like yours. Not that it could ever equal yours. There are...certain measurements that no man could ever match."
[I remember.] I said and licked her face.
"You want me to tell you how big your **** was?"
We chuckled. Or, at least, I did the direwolf equivalent. In one swift motion I was laying on her bed and she used me like a pillow. Ghost's body hardly felt the pressure as it was nothing compared to what a direwolf endured in the wild. His instincts made me want to race around the Red Keep and King's Landing. I was happy that one day I would get a human body. It didn't even matter it would be another man's body.
"Is Ghost in there with you?" Khaleesi asked. "Is Ghost constantly watching everything you do?"
[He is always with me, but he is asleep.] I reassured her. [Unless I want him to be awake. I assume I can wake him up.]
"Good. I don't want another man prying into a space that isn't his. I love you no matter the body you're in. The only reason you being in Ghost made me sad was because it wasn't proper to fuck. Are you sure you wouldn't be willing to go into a man's body permanently?"
[That man also would have a life to live. I couldn't enslave a man because of my selfish desires.]
"Are you afraid about becoming a human forever or do you actually care about not enslaving a person?"
[Both.]
If I became human I would be able to hide the things I wanted kept secret. Khaleesi would always be able to know me more than most, but at least these moments would be gone forever. That should have been the main reason I agreed to helping to find a suitable host for me. A host? Was I now a parasite? The thought was sickening to me.
"We would need to get a man who looks like you, is willing to give up his body to you, and is trustworthy ." Khaleesi said. "I trust you when you say Ghost isn't privy to all you do, but I'm worried some information might leak into his mind."
[And when I'm not in his body, he will be close enough to do harm.] I agreed. [It will need to be someone trustworthy.]
"Is it possible to kill you now?"
[I'd like to think if I'm in a body when it dies, I'll die too.]
We both looked at the door when there was a knock. I had heard the person's footsteps as he was walking but hadn't known where they were going. Maybe once being in Ghost's body long enough I would be able to predict where a person was going. A very useful skill both for hunting and protecting my love.
"Come in." Khaleesi said once she had stood up.
Jon closed the door once he was inside and the scent of arousal seemed to pulse from my love's body. The Stark looked confused about where he was and the scent of alcohol was thick on his breath. I jumped onto the floor and sniffed him. I knew the words that would soon come out of Khaleesi's mouth and wanted to come to a decision on my own.
"Sorry, I got confused about which room was mine." Jon said. "I'll go now. I'm sorry."
"I want to ask you a question." Khaleesi said.
"What?"
"Jorah can go into the mind of Drogon. The mind of a dragon is impossible for most wargs to go into. So we think he can go into a person's body."
"Daenerys, I don't want you like that anymore. And I have so-I just can't **** my aunt."
"I don't love you, Jon. Jorah is the only one I want to share my bed. And he says that Ghost is asleep so that any man he goes into won't experience making love to me."
"I am not going to spend my remaining years being used for you two to ****."
Jon gently pushed me away from him and I went to my place by Khaleesi's side. I could understand him not wanting to be used purely for someone's carnal pleasure. In his place I would feel extremely uncomfortable about giving up my freedom to someone else. Maybe his honor would compel him to make a sacrifice for me?
"We're not asking you to do this for a lifetime." Khaleesi replied sternly. "We just want to see if Jorah can go into a man and...it has been stressful without being able to make love to him. It has hurt him not to be able to make love to me."
"It's been hard ever since I came back from the dead." Jon said sadly. "I keep wishing I was dead again. Nothing seems like it did before. Nothing feels real anymore. If Jorah will only use my body for a few hours and then give it back, I'd like to not exist for an hour or so. I don't care what you do with my flesh."
Khaleesi tried to put a hand on his shoulder but he pushed it away. He looked at me and I nodded back. Once Jon's eyes closed I went into his body. The cold of the darkness didn't bother me as there was a great warmth waiting for me on the other side. I opened Jon's eyes and looked down at his hands.
"Is he in there?" Khaleesi asked.
"He's asleep." I replied and nearly fell down.
My love's arms caught me as I grew used to only two legs. I hadn't had a problem with my human body while talking to Bran, but I was having issues now. Maybe because this wasn't my body. For one thing he was slightly shorter than me which gave me a skewed perspective of the world. Another thing was my eyes could now see the bright colors of the world which caused me to quickly turn my head to look at everything.
"What is it?" My love asked.
"Colors." I replied. "I almost forgot what they really looked like."
"Direwolves can't see color?"
"Not like humans can. Humans see things so differently."
I had nearly forgotten about Ghost who was wearing a big grin on his face. There was energy in his body that needed to be released. I had been him for so long that I could feel what he did. I opened the door for a moment and suddenly he was racing through the halls.
"I guess we're doing this." I said once I closed the door behind me.
"You don't want to?" Khaleesi asked.
"I don't feel like myself. This was a stupid idea. How can I perform in this body? How can I excite you if I'm not in the body you met me in? The body you fell for me in?"
"I fell in love with the man inside. You have not changed, no matter how your appearance says otherwise."
My love did a good job of reassuring me and when we made love...I forgot how sweet the sensations were. It was like I was experiencing the act for the first time.
When we finished, we lay side by side. She looked at me and I smiled back. I took her hands in mine and wished this moment would never end. That we could embrace each other in bed and possibly make love as the sun rose. After spending a moment mourning what could be, we both got dressed so Jon could be on his way.
"See, you are a talented lover." Khaleesi said and gave me a final kiss on the lips. "Come back quickly."
"I'm sure Ghost hasn't gone that far." I replied.
The cold of the darkness was even harsher than before. Upon entering Ghost's body I stumbled and then quickly recovered from my mistake. Again the colors of the world were dimmed. Again the true way to experience life was through smells. Luckily Ghost hadn't traveled far and it was only a few short moments until I was in Khaleesi's bed.
I jumped on her bed as she shut the door behind me. She was now wearing her night clothes. A large smile was on her face and she kissed the top of my head. I had gone into Jon's body which meant we could again ****each other. At least once we found a suitable body for me to use.
We slept with her curled up next to my body. One night, maybe soon in the future, I would be human when she fell asleep next to me.
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