This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
"Hi." Emilia said.
"Hi." I replied.
Even though her voice was only over the phone, it felt like cold rain washing over me. Her voice alone made me feel as though any pain was imaginary. With her voice in my ears I could accomplish anything and nothing would frighten me again. It was an extremely powerful feeling that made my bond with Emilia feel more powerful than ever. I closed my eyes and allowed the feeling to envelop me.
"I've missed you." Emilia said. "I've needed you in the past few days."
"Few months ago I went grocery shopping and was afraid." I admitted while sitting naked on my couch. "Crazy woman blamed me of wanting to sleep with her daughter."
"Did you get a picture to check if she was worth *******?"
"If she is anything like her mother, I don't need that kind of drama in my life."
We chuckled for a few minutes but I knew a darker subject was going to be talked about. Game of Thrones was being talked about endlessly with Season Four having been released a few months ago. So if there was a slow news day, stations would resort to talking about rumors. On those days they liked choosing rumors that would spark controversy or were shocking. Such was the case involving one about myself and Emilia. One that should never have been uttered.
"You've heard?" Emilia asked and her voice cracked.
"I have." I replied and resisted crushing the phone in my hand. "Just because I drink heavily doesn't mean I'm capable of that. To think that just because I had a few too many drinks means I'd do...Why can't people accept that we love each other!"
Bile rose in my throat as tears came out of my eyes. Some bastards believed I had raped Emilia and that she was now staying with me out of fear. I would never harm her like that. I would never violate her just because I wanted to **** her. So many sick and hateful minds. If only there was a way for me to get out of the spotlight and nurse my wounds. The only thing protecting me now was Emilia's voice.
"Did you think the rumors would get this bad?" Emilia whispered.
"No." I replied honestly. "Part of me knew my fear was not real. That I was holding onto old ideals. Even at my worst I never thought the rumors would turn to you being raped."
"So many real rapes happening and people want to falsely accuse you. If anyone truly believed it, you would be fired. Do you think the rumors could get so great you would be fired?"
"My character on the show doesn't garner that much attention from fans. I don't think any rumors surrounding me could lead to me being fired."
"I've already seen so many women believing I was raped and sending me their support. Even when I say I wasn't raped, they tell me it's okay to tell the truth. It's horrible to have that pity."
"I wish I could share your pain."
"At least you're not on Twitter to read everything people are saying about you. There's probably a few rapists saying you did a good job."
There were demented people out there. People who thought that a woman's body was theirs to do what they would. People still believed that women were lesser than them and loathed when they held high positions. Would I be getting new fans because of the rumors about me raping Emilia? Would people be saying I did the right thing?
"We can get through this." I reassured my love. "This is just a rough patch. Things will calm down."
"Do you believe that?" Emilia asked.
"I have to. If I don't then I would lose you."
"And what if this doesn't get better?"
"We'll still have each other. The world won't tear us apart if we don't let it."
"I love you so much, Iain."
"And I love you more than words could ever say, Emilia."
In her voice there was a very recognizable weakness. She was doubting just like I was. To others that would be a clear sign we were doomed or would 'take a break' for some time. In my mind it wasn't a certainty. Humans had achieved so much because they had pushed through obstacles. They had looked at the moon and the desire to get there had made it happened. If people had such strength as to get to the moon, we could face these rumors together. I had her back and she had mine.
Even as I tried to find that strength in myself I started to pace around the living room. I needed to be strong for my girlfriend so her voice could comfort me again. She loved me and I would have to lend her the strength I didn't have now. This latest rumor was wicked and affected the two of us.
"I was uncertain about how I could handle the rumor until you called." Emilia said with a soft sigh. "I didn't know if I'd cry or hang up on you."
"I was breaking inside until I heard your voice." I replied as I sat back down on the couch. "I didn't know how I could bear the future."
"Maybe we need to call each other more often."
"Especially after rumors like...like the one that is being talked about now."
Hopefully it would go away after a day or so. Some rumors were like that. Even the rumor involving Kit and Emilia fooling me had gone away. There was no sign about it anywhere. Or maybe it was still big on social media. I didn't know and the thought about looking frightened me. It was better to just pretend no one was talking about it until someone asked me questions.
"It won't always be this hard." Emilia said.
"We will have each other." I agreed.
If we stayed together long enough, we could be there for each other at the odd times of the night. We would be next to each other when the latest rumors came out. I had to hold onto those thoughts to give me strength. I couldn't wallow in these hopeless feelings as Emilia didn't deserve that. Especially not when she was being propped up as a rape victim. That could lead to fewer actual rape victims getting the help they needed when the truth came out. Disgusting and all because they didn't like the thought of us together.
"After all this time I thought they would quit talking about our age difference." I said to try and bring some lightness to the conversation. "Especially with all the vicious rumors people come up with."
"Some things remain classics for a reason." Emilia replied and I could hear the smile that was on her face. "I think it has to do with people being jealous of how hot you've become. Usually the opposite happens or people just aren't as attractive. The same is true of your stamina."
Both of us were saddened by the fact my schedule hadn't lined up with Emilia's. The only times we had met up together again since the weekend she came over, we had had less than an hour to ****. I wanted to serve her another dinner and wake up next to her in the morning. But we were adults and our lives could become separate at times. At least we had phones so we could keep in contact and take pictures to help with lonely nights.
"You could be right about that." I said in the thickest Irish accent I was capable of.
"Iain!" Emilia gasped and I knew what she would do after this conversation.
"Or they could be right that I'm only after you because I prey on young women."
"Stop teasing me."
"I don't mind hearing you over the phone, my dear."
"I...I want to talk. I'll send you a video later."
I smirked at knowing how much control I had over her and how much control she had over me. It wasn't only her that would be affected by the images we had put into each other's heads. If only she lived closer so that I could go over to her now. The door would barely be shut before we started making love.
"Sounds good." I said and returned to my normal voice.
"I should have come over sooner." Emilia replied. "We could have worked something out with our schedules."
"Both of us have been utterly exhausted. It is a long trip for you and both of us need our rest. Don't worry, my eyes aren't wandering."
"Neither are mine. Whenever I think they are, I end up comparing every guy I see to you. You aren't leaving my mind anytime soon."
"I'm glad to hear that."
I wanted to suggest to her to move in with me so we wouldn't miss each other so much. But that had as much of a chance of scaring her away as drawing her closer. I wouldn't rush the first relationship I had. I wouldn't ruin the first relationship I had. If she went away from my life I doubt I could replicate the feelings I had for her. I could recover but it was a hardship I wouldn't face willingly.
"How are you doing outside of the rumors?" I asked and leaned into the couch more than before.
"The rumors feel like they're the only thing in my life anymore." Emilia replied with a laugh. "You're lucky to not be on Twitter. Give people a way to hide their identity and they'll say anything that comes to mind. I want to punch them just to show I'm an actual person. But besides the rumors I'm doing fine. Nothing much I can complain about."
"How are you feeling about Season Five? It will be odd not filming as often with you. We will get a few scenes near the end of the season. So at least we will be able to act together."
From the script given to me it would not nearly be enough time. But at least we would be close together at a few points in time. We could use that time to our advantage. It wasn't likely that we could spend the night together, but at least I'd be able to touch her. At least I could kiss her while her body was pressed tightly against mine. The thought made me smile.
"But we'll have to spend the majority of the season apart." Emilia said. "I guess that won't matter when I see you again."
"We could take a walk or I could make you dinner." I replied.
"What kind of dinner could you make me in a trailer?"
"A sandwich paired with a glass of wine. And then we can make dessert ourselves after."
"Sounds romantic."
To anyone but a couple in love, that meal would seem terrible and no cause for arousal. The bread would be the cheapest I could find and the wine wouldn't be expensive either. The only reason I looked forward to that meal was because I loved Emilia and cherished any moment spent with her. A cheap meal at home or one at an expensive restaurant were the same to me as long as my love was there.
"What cookbook will you be using?" Emilia teased.
"Don't make me go back to using my Irish accent." I countered and couldn't help but let out a loud laugh. "Does my Irish accent really do that much for you?"
"Yeah, it does. Even sexier than your actual voice."
"I don't know if I should be insulted by that or not."
We went into a fit of laughter for a few minutes. She had one of the most wonderful laughs I had ever heard. It always brought a new burst of energy to me. It made me more certain that I had to fight to hear that laughter until the end of my days. She was worth everything the universe threw at me.
"You know what good rumors are becoming more talked about?" Emilia asked with glee in her voice.
"What ones?" I replied.
"People are going to great lengths to talk about how Jorah and Dany getting together is all but confirmed. They really think that because we're dating, our characters will get together. Maybe their guessing will be rewarded in Season Six."
"If the couple gets popular enough maybe."
It was my love for Emilia that made me want our characters to get together. I would love to kiss her on camera so that part of my love could seen by others. They could see that we belonged with each other. That kiss could change people's minds on how they perceived reality. They could start to see how Emilia and I could love each other.
"Some have gotten elaborate in expressing their hope." Emilia said with a chuckle. "They have written really elaborate predictions on how Dany and Jorah would get together. They've even talked about scripts being changed for the upcoming season to fit a relationship between our characters. Some fake script leaks have shown our relationship finally becoming canon."
"Is there anyone disagreeing?" I asked worriedly.
"They don't matter. They're just taking their anger out on innocent people."
"People get too worked up about this show. They can't seem to tell the difference between liking something and being abusive about their love for a show. But it's good to know there is a group of people that support us. There are people that will support us through thick and thin."
"Iain, are you proposing to me?"
"We haven't been dating long enough."
I wanted to throw down the phone and hide under the couch. I hadn't meant to propose so early as that was sure to scare her away. We had hardly seen each other and the phone conversations didn't count. There was something about seeing a person face to face that told you clearly if you were destined. There were odd quirks that you couldn't point out on a phone conversation. Those quirks were why I had dumped my previous women. No one was perfect and you ended up falling in love with people's faults as much as their perfections. Emilia would one day reveal a different side to her and I couldn't wait to love all of her. That thought was extremely odd to me.
"No we haven't." Emilia agreed. "But maybe one day."
"One day." I agreed. "But only after we've been dating longer. I don't want you to agree to anything until you see a side of me you don't like and stay with me anyway."
"You're too perfect to have a dark side."
"As far as you know, my love. I could be a very evil guy."
"As bad as the devil himself."
We laughed and her laughter was music to my ears. It would be good to have her as my wife if only to hear that laughter. I closed my eyes and could see the smile she must be making. I could imagine her face turning into something extraordinary as she laughed.
"****." I said and looked at the clock above the tv.
"What is it?" Emilia asked.
"It is later than I thought and I need to get up early tomorrow."
"I understand, my love, you stay safe. I will send you that video."
"I love you, Emilia, and I will watch that video when I get a chance."
"I love you too, Iain."
With that we hung up and I was left with silence. In all honesty the conversation with Emilia had taken up too much time. I should have been asleep around an hour ago to be rested enough for the next day. But I had decided, instead, to spend time talking with the woman I loved above all others. A woman who was willing to have a long distance relationship until she moved in with me. If our relationship lasted that long.
I walked to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water. Something simple before I went to bed and dreamed of her again. There could be the extra step of watching the video Emilia would send me and then go to sleep. She had had to tell me in detail how to watch videos on my phone. I ended up having to have a friend help me figure out what she was talking about. It had been a stressful lesson but worth it. Even when we were miles apart we could see each other. I could see the secret parts of her body even if I couldn't touch them.
I drank a second glass of water and then went up to my room. My eyes were starting to close on their own accord and Emilia hadn't sent me the video yet. In the silence without her my fears started to creep back into my mind. They told me that I was not strong enough to keep a woman such as my girlfriend. That we would break apart long before we moved in together. Long before we decided to get married. Long before anything of great significance could happen. Those fears always came back at an alarming rate after I finished talking with Emilia.
"I am strong." I said as I looked at my bed. "I love Emilia Clarke. Nothing can hold me back from my love."
A friend had suggested I repeat the mantra to help me keep my strength. Sometimes I had to say it multiple times a day, sometimes none. It did help me keep my focus so I didn't abandon the first woman I had ever loved.
The moment I went under the covers I heard my cellphone ring. Part of me wanted to check if it was Emilia but the other part just wanted to sleep. If it was my love texting me then I wouldn't be asleep for at least another hour. As I drifted off to sleep I decided to save the video until tomorrow night.
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