This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
There was no filming for me today so I had decided to stay in my trailer. Though it hadn't been the most exhausting shooting of my career, I would be a fool if I pushed myself too hard for now. Which was why Peter was in my trailer sharing a meal. Due to limited supplies, the best meal I could make was a sandwich. The bread was fresh and the meat was only a few days old. Because I hadn't been expecting company when he came over, there was no wine.
"An online magazine?" I asked as I finished up my meal.
"And that's why I didn't need to bring a physical copy." Peter replied and took out a tablet. "Some of the rumors about you and Emilia are more than a little amusing."
"And others?"
"I still think you should know."
Was Peter trying to soften bad news? He cared about how I was treated as the rumor mills flooded. Hopefully by the end of Game of Thrones people would leave me in peace. There was no reason why everyone should be acting so interested in me. Though they actually didn't care about me, did they? They only cared about feeling connected by attacking me. Some of the attacks being much softer than others.
"This one is still making the rounds." Peter said and held out the tablet to me. "The infamous one about you and Emilia merely faking a relationship to hint at Jorah and Dany getting together."
"They think too highly about my commitment to this show." I replied as I started to read through the article. "I act while the camera rolls and during any event where I have to promote the show. I would never allow my job to dictate how I live my life."
At least it was this rumor that had stuck in the minds of fans. It was something silly and lighthearted rather than mean spirited. While it was annoying these fans didn't think Emilia and I loved each other, I had seen worse before. At least variations of this rumor praised the acting abilities of me and my girlfriend.
"I know." Peter said. "Some fans think we live and breathe whatever we act it. If you told them that acting was nothing but a job, you'd be called a liar. You and the other actors on Game of Thrones are close to my heart, but you're not as close to me as my actual family."
"And yet we have to say we are as close as brothers to the press." I replied and handed him back the tablet. "I will miss you when this show is over. But it isn't as if I can't call you up if need be."
"I will be waiting for that call."
We both chuckled at that. There would be no call between the two of us after this was over. And, if there was, it might be years in the future when we both remembered each other. Though if we worked with each other again we would talk. It would be good to catch up with him if that were the case.
"I'm sure both you and Emilia have discussed the possibility of Dan and Dave making a change to the script." Peter said. "Imagine how much they could sell off of being inspired by the sweet love story between Iain and Emilia to make sure their characters have happiness."
"If Jorah wasn't known merely as 'Lord Friendzone' I would think that was possible." I replied and finished my tea. "But the truth is not enough people love my character for them to be happy at Jorah finding true love. If my character became more popular then Jorah might get with Dany. At the end of the day all this show is is a business."
"People do like my character so if I put in a good word for yo-"
"You'd be harassed by the fans. They want the actors of their characters to agree with their viewpoints only. Tyrion is popular but I wouldn't think they would react too kindly if you started supporting Jorah and Dany getting together."
"You're wrong and right at the same time. People would turn my statements into a joke and laugh about it. They'd most likely harass those who believed the rumors. Even if I kept it in a private conversation with Dan and Dave, something would leak. Either that or the duo would play one of their infamous pranks on me. I honestly don't know which would be the worst option."
"Do you want some more tea?"
Peter nodded and I walked to the kitchen. As this was merely a trailer, the distance wasn't that great. But at least the walk and goal gave me a break from the conversation. Since there was no kettle in the trailer, I had to resort to using the microwave to make tea. This was not an ideal situation since both the tea and cup would be hot. But at least I was able to make tea which was the only positive thing to say about the matter.
After putting in the tea bag and pouring the water, I put his cup into the microwave along with my own. Since I wasn't using an actual kettle, I didn't care what tea I bought. It only took a short trip or two to make sure the trailer was properly stocked with tea. And none of the trips took that long since I only made sure the prices were good.
I brought Peter his tea and set my own in front of me. It would take a moment or two before it was safe enough to drink. Taking the cups from the microwave to the table had made it feel like my skin was burning off. My eyes glanced quickly at my hands to make sure nothing was burnt off. My friend's eyes told me my quick glance had been noticed. Luckily he wasn't like his character and didn't seem interested about teasing me.
"Are you up for a few more rumors?" Peter asked as the tea started to cool.
"How many more?" I replied. "I don't find these rumors as amusing as you do. People speculating is something I've grown used to, but these rumors being so cruel is something I can't stand. But I must as this is how I make money."
"Just two more."
The way he said 'two more' made me worried. I wanted to refuse to see them and kick him out, but I wouldn't. If rumors demeaning Emilia had surfaced, I needed to know them. The words people said affected her too and, as her boyfriend, I needed to be her emotional support when her world seemed like it was falling apart. It was a hard job, but it was the one I had signed up for. Just like acting and having the world glare at me.
Peter messed with his tablet for a moment and then handed me the device. A woman, like Clara, had claimed I preyed on younger woman. The woman in the article was unnamed so I wouldn't be surprised if it was Clara. The article went on to clarify how I went on to show how I preyed on helpless young women because I liked the power it gave me. The woman claimed to know many young and helpless women I had seduced. While I used to have many women on my arms and some deluded themselves into thinking I would eventually want a romantic relationship with them, none had been helpless and having power over a person was not why I ******.
"Why have I not been caught, Clara?" I hissed and nearly threw the tablet into the nearest wall. "Because I have not been preying on young women. I do not exclusively go after the young. Is this piece of **** article implying that I rape?"
My vision became full of red that kept on clouding more of my vision. I had never done anything to earn this level of spite. The only reason these rumors were coming out was because I wasn't Kit. I wasn't the one many wanted to be with Emilia in a very sexual sense. That was the only line I had crossed. That line was imaginary as people confused me with my character. Actors had lives outside of the show. This show was just a job to us, though some of us considered it more.
"Iain?" Peter asked. "This is just some crazy lunatic. No one will care about this tomorrow?"
"Then why show me it?" I hissed.
"If it doesn't disappear tomorrow, I wanted you to remain cool if someone asks you about it. Better for you to let off steam here instead of out there."
I wanted to beat my friend into a pulp for that excuse, but I didn't since he was right. If a reporter had asked me about the rumor I might have broken down and given the hoards what they wanted. A person might have asked about it and recorded me and put my reaction on YouTube. I might have been hearing about the video until the end of the show.
"Thank you, Peter." I said and sipped my tea. "This isn't my first round of rumors to deal with, I know how painful they can be. But these affect me more."
"It's because it's not just about you." Peter said and started messing with his tablet yet again. "You have Emilia to worry about. You have the future of your relationship to get on edge about."
"We aren't having any problems."
"Not yet you aren't. But if these rumors continue to be mainstream, you two could start to bash heads. Or you could handle it calmly since you trust each other deeply. Thing is...you don't know what will happen or what will be decided."
I had worried for a long time now about if Emilia would stay with me. My actions were planned to not chase her away. If I ever did something to drive her away I would never forgive myself. While my actions were something I could account for, the rumors were not something under my control. They could drive a wedge between me and Emilia. Up until now we had talked to each other so we had strength during this dark time. But what if something happened to drive us apart? What if there was a rumor that destroyed everything I had worked so hard for?
I wanted to ask Peter to open up more but that wasn't my place. We were friends that hung out together when we didn't have work. There was a brief bit of silence so we decided to spend time with each other. We were not close as brothers, there would be some distance between us and that was not a bad thing. I didn't want to become his best friend and he felt the same about me, I was sure of it. It wasn't good to make things more complicated in this line of work than they needed to be. Emilia and I were drawn to each other. It wasn't either of our fault's to be in a relationship together. More and more it seemed to be fate.
"You said two more articles." I finally said. "Give me the second one and let me get this **** over with."
"With how you reacted to the last one...I don't know if you're ready for this one." Peter replied with worry in his voice.
With the last article he had not been worried. Not like this. I think he was worried that I would lose all control and beat him up. Not even during my most unhinged moments would I ever think of beating him up. He was not the one spreading the rumors and so didn't deserve my wrath.
"I will never be ready, but I have to be." I said. "Just get that stupid piece of machinery ready and give it to me."
Peter slowly handed me the tablet and I closed my eyes before reading. Whatever I would read would be horrible. It would make me want to rethink every life decision I had ever had. My friend had not wanted to show me this but there was a drive in me to read it. It could be that this rumor was affecting Emilia and she needed to be comforted. For her I would face my every fear. She was worth everything I could give her.
I opened my eyes to the article. Instead of blaming me for preying on Emilia, this one claimed it was the opposite way. The article professed itself to be against political correctness and swore to tell the real truth. It also used words better suited for a schoolyard than an article. The main point of the article was proving that Emilia was a gold digger who went after older men. It stated I was the first man foolish to fall for her game. I stopped reading when it went over how much each of us was worth.
"Don't break it, Iain!" Peter shouted and I realized I was a few seconds from slamming the tablet into the ground.
"Emilia." I said angrily. "She should not be involved like this. She is not someone who would go after older men for their money. She would not use me for that. She is a wonderful woman that does not deserve this **** being flung at her. Does she know about this?"
"I'd assume so as she has a bigger social media presence than you do. I'll leave now, then."
"Why did you show me the article?"
"I wanted you to be aware in case your girlfriend needs your comfort."
Peter left and I got my cellphone. It took a few short seconds for me to call her. I was pacing wildly around my trailer as I waited for her to pick up. It could be that she was currently filming and couldn't get to her phone. Maybe she was taking a quick nap before she had to film again. Sometimes the days were extremely long and actors were forced to take naps wherever they could. Even if they had to twist their bodies into unnatural shapes to get even five minutes of sleep.
"Iain?" Emilia asked as she let out a loud yawn.
"I'm sorry to wake you." I said. "I'll call back later."
"No, talk. You wouldn't call unless this was important."
"I saw some of the latest rumors. One of them was calling you a gold digger."
"Hang on. Let me get some coffee."
I waited a moment as she made her drink. She must be nervous about discussing that rumor. Usually she would talk as she made her coffee. We would both laugh as she messed up by forgetting to put the actual coffee into the machine again. That happened so often I had suggested starting a drinking game based off of it.
"Who told you about it?" Emilia asked as she sipped her coffee.
"Peter Dinklage." I replied. "Since we both didn't need to film today, we hung out in my trailer. Most of the day was just guys being guys. Then he showed me the articles because he wanted to make sure I knew in case you were disturbed by them."
"You know what kind of messages I'm getting now that people think I'm a gold digger? Some of the people that were angry at you are now taking that hatred out on me. I don't know how you dealt with this side of the job."
"I had you to help me get through the darkest of moments. I'll be here for you so you don't need to suffer alone."
There was a moment of silence and I heard her sit down on a chair. I could tell this by the way the chair scrapped against the floor. She had shown me pictures of her trailer which made it easier to imagine how she was moving now. Some of the pictures she had sent me were safe to show to people while others would never be seen by another human as long as I lived.
"The stress of these rumors, especially the one where I'm a gold digger, has made me want to break up with you." Emilia said as her voice broke. "But that wouldn't be fair, would it? Just because I'm scared doesn't mean you deserve me to leave you now. The rumors have also affected you and I'd be leaving you all alone. I could never do that to you. No matter how much I wanted to."
I didn't know how to react to that. My heart was still racing from her saying she had thought about breaking up with me. I knew that was a thought that happened in the past and she had disregarded it. For the moment I was safe but tomorrow was uncertain. Or maybe not that uncertain as I thought. Her love for me had made it possible to find the strength to stay with me. Tears were coming out of my eyes as I felt unworthy of her love.
"If you left me I would understand." I said and tried to keep the sadness out of my voice. "You deserve to be away from this madness."
"I will never leave you." Emilia said sweetly. "You're stuck with me."
"This rumor will die like all the rest and then things will be easier. People will soon be onto the next rumor like Tyrion is getting with Dany next season."
"I'll be happy to read that one. Thank you for calling me. I love you so much."
"And I love you more than I ever thought possible."
"Good night."
"Good night."
After she hung up I cried. I would have to do more than I thought possible to be worthy of her. She had been in so much pain but had decided to stay with me anyways. If she had left me I don't know how I'd get through the rumors that would come out mocking me for ever thinking I had a chance with her.
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