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Drogon roared loudly as he circled Bear Island. He could tell I was
excited even though I kept up my calm exterior. My men had long ago
become used to my dragon and so they didn't even flinch when he
completed passes around the island. Ghost stood by my side as we waited
for the ship to dock. Finally Sansa Stark would arrive.
Even
though it was winter, I felt a fire form within. I remembered long ago
having to choose between Jon and Sansa. There was love for her in my
heart but I didn't know how it would grow. I didn't know which way I
wanted it to.
"Your Grace," Sansa said once she stepped off her ship. "I hope you are doing well."
"I hope the same for you." I replied.
In her eyes I could see strength but also exhaustion. This war had
taken too much from us. And before the war we had been put through
trials and tribulations. I had loved a wife who treasured material goods
more than my heart. Due to my actions I found myself alone in exile.
Sansa had witnessed the death of her father and being raped by the
monster Ramsay Bolton.
"Did you have safe travels?" I asked.
"Yes," Sansa replied and we started to walk around the island, Ghost
trailing a few feet behind. "It's the end of a war and the land is
peaceful. People would rather help rebuild than to destroy. There were a
few exceptions but they were weak. My guards did well dealing with the
threats."
"Ghost is my guard. Though when he goes off to hunt a person is sent to stay by my side."
"You don't trust your people as much?"
"I do trust them. But with a direwolf by my side no one has shown any
inclination to want to attack me. Both Drogon and Ghost keep any would
be traitors at bay."
There was silence between us for many
minutes. It wasn't the kind that creates a hole in your soul, but the
kind that makes you stronger. Talking did not happen constantly between
two people. There was a certain type of love you could only experience
in silence. Her red hair became even more like fire to my eyes. Her
charm became even more evident. Every now and again I could see her
looking at me a little too intently.
When we weren't looking at
each other, we observed how much work had been completed in rebuilding
Bear Island. The destruction now looked like a mild skirmish had taken
place weeks ago. Soon enough I would be able to go to King's Landing and
go through the ceremonies needed for the people to celebrate my rule.
"You've done a great job." Sansa said. "It doesn't look like the Night King attacked."
"It was hard work." I replied. "Those who helped will be glad to hear your praise."
"They will be even more glad to rest after such taxing work."
"That they will."
I had helped my men repair the seat of House Mormont. Some days had
left me worn down to the point I could only think of going back to my
bed. Like Khaleesi had promised, she was no longer in my dreams. She was
now in the place I'd go after death. If not for my promise with her I
would have killed myself by now. It was a much sweeter place in her arms
than in a kingdom needing to be rebuilt.
A cold wind blew
through us and it dug into my skin. Yet it was nothing compared to the
cold caused by the Night King's army. It was the middle of a warm summer
compared to those moments. Sansa smiled at me as if she too was
thankful for the reminder of the dead's absence. It was a beautiful
smile and I gave the Stark one of my own. We both turned away at the
same time.
"How are things in the Eyrie?" I asked. "I hope Lord Arryn gave you safe lodgings."
"He was still in shock about Littlefinger's death." Sansa replied with a
shake of her head. "He is a weak willed man that will be easily
manipulated until the day he dies. At least he's grown a back bone to
decide things for himself. Unfortunately he decided to learn that lesson
when he thought I would take control away from him."
"Did you have trouble staying safe?"
"No, it was manageable as Lord Arryn's advisors are smarter than him.
They knew the costs of killing the royal family. If you and Jon survived
then Lord Robin Arryn would have had to answer to you."
Sansa's
posture was one of a warrior. She did not show fear of what had
happened before. For the woman who had survived both Joffrey Baratheon
and Ramsay Baratheon, dealing with a misbehaving boy was nothing to
dwell on. I briefly thought about sending Robin a message but decided
against it. I would keep my eyes on him and if he acted out again, I
would retaliate. Drogon was now my mount and I could pay any lord a
visit on short notice. Lord Arryn wouldn't die but he would rethink any
action that could be considered rebellious.
Drogon flew low as
he went towards his favored nesting place. Once in King's Landing where
he could roam would have to be carefully looked after. It wouldn't do
for unneeded deaths to happen after a great war.
"I'll never get used to that." Sansa said.
"I am sure you will." I replied. "I've practiced flying with him when
he hunts. When he was younger he liked eating fish. That diet has not
seemed to change too much."
"It must have allowed your food storage to stay safe."
"That it has."
Though we had still had to ration. If spring were only weeks away there
wouldn't be a worry. A few times a week I would send ships out to fish.
If things got any worse then we might have to hunt the bears that even
Drogon had good sense to stay away from. I would not dishonor my House
unless my people were days away from dying.
I knew where the
conversation had to go next. I knew that no matter how painful the topic
was for me, it would be even more so for her. She had grown up with him
and he was her blood. He was only my husband. The words would hurt but
they had to be said. For her sake.
"Jon was brave even unto the
end." I said and stopped a good distance away from anyone else. "The
gods declared me Azor Ahai, but without him all of us would be dead. Or a
part of the Night King's army."
"He was a good man." Sansa
replied with a nod. "I should have been kinder to him while we were
children. But I was a vain girl who wanted to be on the Iron Throne and
he a mere bastard. He risked so much for us all and I helped his youth
be a nightmare."
Ghost stood facing away from us. All of his
senses were attuned to seeking out anyone who would dare to interupt us.
It were as if Jon were with us through the direwolf. I wanted to
believe a small part of him remained in the creature. But I couldn't
believe that lie as my soul had gone to the world we all visit after.
"Jon didn't blame you, Sansa." I reassured her. "You were his family.
It was the end of the world and everything he knew was lost. You, Arya,
and Bran were all he had left. The only ties he had to his life before
the Night's Watch."
"He had such a kind soul." She replied. "He
was one of the most just men in Westeros. He wanted what was best for
his people. Even though I don't want my people to die, I always needed
some title to my name. If I didn't it felt as if I were only half a
person."
"When I was exiled, I lost my title of Lord of Bear
Island. I had disgraced my House and that did tear into me for many
years. But the loss of title was also on my mind. In fairness it
represented how much I had disgraced my House."
"Can we ever escape the chains of titles?"
"If Khaleesi were here she would have broken the wheel. I will need to
come up with a plan to slowly implement another system of government.
Some day in the future, maybe lifetimes, the wheel will be broken and
she will be happy."
"That seems like a fun challenge."
Sansa was lending her support to me. To break the wheel was not an easy
task. Changes had to be introduced in such a way that people would adopt
them. They had to be quick enough so they got done but not so quick
rebellion swept the land. I was glad for her help as she had one of the
most clever minds in all of the Seven Kingdoms.
"He died with honor?" Sansa asked softly. "He brought a smile to our father's face?"
"I was lying on the ground with no ability to defend myself." I
explained. "I cried out for Jon hoping he could hear. He heard me and
ran to my aid. With my former power I imbued my love with enough
strength to destroy the Night King. Jon died in my arms."
"What did he say?"
"That he loved me and he didn't want to leave. Jon was content when he
said those things. It wasn't the first time he had died. He knew what to
expect and was content. I didn't give him any such comfort at the end.
All I did was cry and mourn him."
"You were in pain."
"So was he and his concern was my well-being."
"You can't feel guilty about that, Jorah. He wouldn't want you to."
No, Jon wouldn't like me feeling guilty about his death. After so many
years I had overcome my guilt of disgracing my House. I had been
forgiven by Jon, Westeros, the gods, and Lyanna. It wouldn't do for me
to acquire guilt of another nature. I had fought to be forgiven and my
prize must be accepted. It would be foolish to do otherwise. And yet the
guilt was always trying to dig at my mind.
"What about the Night King?" Sansa asked. "What was it like to finally see that bastard die?"
"It was..." I replied and tried to find the words. "Emotional. After
Jon struck the killing blow, the Night King transformed into a mortal
man. I saw the man who merely had the misfortune of being transformed by
magic. He thanked Jon and myself for freeing him."
"You saw him as a mortal man?"
"And then he died. Nothing in our lives can be simple, can it? A
villain couldn't simply be killed, I had to see him as a man. As someone
innocent."
"Did he tell you his name?"
"No. I don't know where to make a memorial. Besides, our people won't understand making such a thing for the Night King."
Sansa nodded in agreement. The Night King was an enemy of myths and
legends. He was a monster that mothers would scare their children with
tales of him. How could I explain to the Westerosi people that I wanted
to make a memorial for the man forced to become the Night King? How
could I make a memorial for him without it planting the seeds for
rebellion? How reliable could my reign be if I praised an enemy?
Even if no one else believed me, at least the Stark woman did. She made
no motion to disagree with my statement and I loved that. I loved that
she trusted my opinion even if it sounded insane. She would be a good
companion as the years went on. Maybe a better companion than either of
us could imagine.
Even in sadness there was a strength to her.
One that could make even the greatest man crumble to the ground. There
were her eyes that looked into everything. No motives were too small for
them to pick up on. She missed nothing.
Her **** were those of a
woman. I could imagine them as not being perfect like Daenerys', but
nights of pleasure could still be claimed from them.
The moment passed and I felt something beyond guilt. She had been
through so much over the years and hadn't had a kind hand to caress her.
I should focus on what she wanted rather than the fucking my body
yearned for. Besides, she was Jon's cousin and it was soon after his
death. It would always be too soon after his death. Not even centuries
could erase the pain in my heart and the inability it created to find
another.
"I have been in correspondence about the state of
Westeros." I said to end the silence that would lead me to more
fantasies. "I do not want to leave Bear Island until it is repaired to
my satisfaction. It has been enough work to keep me up late at night."
"Will you go immediately to King's Landing?" Sansa asked and I couldn't tell if she was thinking her own erotic ideas.
"Yes, as quickly as I can. The sooner there is a ceremony where the
Lords and Ladies officially swear their oaths to me, the better. Though I
wish to avoid my new life as much as possible."
"You could
inspect the rest of Westeros before heading to the Iron Throne. It will
show that you care about your kingdom and will allow you to delay
sleeping in the Red Keep."
My mind had become much too clouded
over Khaleesi's departure and Jon's death. The weight of seven kingdoms
was on my shoulder and I was about to break with my new
responsibilities. It was good to have her by my side to keep me sane.
Yet I couldn't depend on her too much as doing so would mean me giving
up on this world entirely. It would mean my true love's request would go
forever unfulfilled.
"And you can come with me." I said without thinking. "You can help me find a good political marriage."
"Yes, I can." She replied and I could sense the sadness in her words.
I wanted to tell her that I was interested in her but it was soon after
Jon's death. But the words felt hollow in my mind and wouldn't leave my
mouth. It was better to remain silent and be thought rude than talk and
be thought an idiot. Especially by her.
* * *
The wind tried to
tear at my face and failed. Seeing Bear Island from Drogon's back was a
good way to judge how work was going alone. Down there was Sansa who
was helping the people manage. Now it would be a mere week or two until
I'd have to leave my home. With the Stark by my side I wouldn't be
lonely. No matter what came afterwards.
I landed Drogon away
from others and dismounted. Before it had been difficult but now it was
second nature. I merely thought about getting off of him and I was on
the ground. There was hardly any thought about it nowadays.
Footsteps came towards me and I didn't need to turn to see who it was.
Over the days Sansa and myself had fallen into a routine. It was she
and, sometimes Ghost, who would meet me when I landed Drogon. Khaleesi's
child, as was usual, started to walk away to give me privacy. He had
grown to trust the Stark.
"How do things look?" Sansa asked.
With her voice she begged for me than just a look. It was a subtle clue
but it was there. At first I had denied my feelings that were allowed
to grow since Winterfell. No longer did I have to worry about Jon. And
there was the fact I needed a queen. The blood of Jon and the North ran
through her veins. Over the days I had grown comfortable with the idea
of being with her. I wasn't going to do things with a lack of subtlety
as she deserved a good husband. She deserved a man that was unlike any
she had had before.
"Things will be finished soon." I replied.
"You're getting used to flying." Sansa said.
"It takes some getting used to. I don't think I'll get used to riding horses again very soon."
I had Ghost to ride when needed. Yet I preferred riding a horse to him.
It seemed wrong to ride Jon's direwolf. Wrong to touch him in a way
that wasn't meant for me. Until my dying days I would take care of him.
He would be like Jon to me.
"I'm almost jealous of you." Sansa
said with just the tiniest grin. "Arya would not shut up about the
dragons when you first arrived."
"I didn't know that."
"Arya isn't the most open of people. Even if you are technically family. I wasn't going to ruin her fearsome appearance."
I chuckled at that thought. Arya was complicated but would she be a
good Lady of Winterfell? I was going to take Sansa as my queen, if she
would have me, and that left the North with the younger Stark. The wild
one that wanted nothing to do with dresses.
"I wonder if she would ever settle down with a man." I said as we started to walk.
"Arya is a Stark, if she has to rule Winterfell she will." Sansa
replied. "Am I to take your words to mean you have found a queen?"
"Yes, I think I have. I will tell her later as there is still work to do."
Before she could turn the hope in her eyes to words, a man came to
inform me of something requiring my attention. Next to my feelings for
Sansa the matter was insignificant. But it was still something a king
had to look after. So for the rest of the day we couldn't continue our
conversation.
* * *
I sat in the bath after making sure the
odors were gone from my body. I would be making love to my queen for the
first time and she didn't deserve to smell the labors from my day. This
would be the first time she had sex for pleasure by a man who respected
her. No need to remind her of the past tonight.
As I dried
myself off I went over how I would approach her. The words would only be
an excuse to embrace her as I wanted. Back at Winterfell there had been
a decision between her and Jon. They were equally enticing and it was
hard to decide. I had been at the crossroads but it had been an
illusion. The moment of choice had been showing me there would be
someone after Jon. Someone that could feel the pain that would not stop
clawing at my heart.
After making myself presentable I walked
towards her room with Ghost at my heels. He would be my constant guard
until my death. If he still lived past my death I prayed he didn't waste
away on my grave but protect my family instead. To protect Sansa and my
children.
I hesitated before knocking. Was this dishonoring
Jon? Could I ask Sansa to be my queen without ******* her? Would my body
allow such a thing if she were willing?
Sansa opened the door
after I knocked. With one glance from me Ghost stayed outside the room
as the door closed. We were silent as we looked at each other. Her eyes
looked at my body and mine did the same to her. The winter cold had
turned into summer heat and it took everything for me not to let my
emotions sweep me away.
"What are you doing here, Jorah?" Sansa asked.
"I am here to speak to my queen, as I promised to do earlier." I
replied. "I am an old man and can't count on many years until I join
Daenerys. If Jon were still alive I would put my faith in him. But he's
not and choosing a young queen is the responsible thing to do. Sansa, I
felt your beauty and strength from the first. You are the only one I
want by my side and in my bed."
Once the words left my lips I
felt a great weight lifted off my shoulders. There was a sense that her
being my queen and being intimate with her now was the correct decision.
That nothing else would have made sense in this moment. Almost like
seeing Daenerys for the first time and making love to Jon for the first
time. Everything had aligned for this moment.
"I have been...looking at your some time now." Sansa said and shyly looked away. "I am honored to be your queen."
"I never expected to hear those words." I replied and tilted her head
up. "I didn't expect to return to Westeros. I didn't expect to be in any
position where others would want to lie with me."
"You're not undesirable."
I could see the obvious signs of arousal and every slight movement of
my finger increased them. Yet I could also see fear as the memories of
abuse overtook her instincts. I kissed her and felt that mix of fear and
desire. Her body hadn't relaxed even after I had gave it a slight push.
"You're still thinking about them." I said once I broke our kiss.
"You're the only one I've had like this." Sansa replied.
"The scars of the past echo even into the present. You're remembering
Ramsay Bolton and how he...he should never have done that. If you can't
make love tonight I will wait."
"I've conquered my fear before. I can do so again."
"Give your body a few moments to relax."
She nodded in reply and sat on the edge of her bed and I joined her. My
body was close enough to hers that when she made the decision to fuck
she could get to me quickly. Yet far enough away that there was no
pressure of making love tonight.
"I wanted to be a queen when
this started." Sansa mused. "I wanted to marry a handsome prince. To
share in that power and beauty. To have people obey every word I said. I
just didn't realize how much that cost."
"No one does." I
reassured her. "Not until it's taken away or we have to fight for it, do
we realize the cost. I was Lord of House Mormont with my choice of
wife. How was I supposed to know the deadliness of the decision? I was a
knight and my eyes were allowed to wander. So why need to worry about
controlling my senses?"
"I thought you were forgiven."
"I am by the gods, Lady Mormont, and myself. I can look back on the past
with only a faint sense of sadness. Because there has been so much good
I have done since then. Why should I wallow in my sadness? I have
Daenerys waiting for me and now you will share my bed. I need to enjoy
what I have and not mourn what I have lost."
She moved closer to
me and now the signs of fear were leaving her. With every breath she
became more aroused and it felt as if my clothes restricted me too much. We made love for time without end. Eventually both of us stopped feeling anything but pleasure.
When I could again form
memories we were in her bed and she in my arms. My body already felt
sore but it was a good price to pay. Sansa's breathing was calm and
content. I had made her happy. I had been the first to give her such
pleasure. After all the horrors of her life, at least I had given her
another thought of happiness for dark times.
I loved Daenerys
Targaryen more than I could ever say. I loved Jon Stark for his ability
to see things hidden from myself. I loved Sansa Stark for the strength
inside. The ones who had loved me since my time in Essos were the ones
to die for.
Sansa's warmth soon drew me to sleep. In the years
ahead of us we would have children and help rebuild Westeros. Winter
would turn to spring and back again. All the while we would help each
other remain strong and true.
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