This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
I inhaled the scent of the steak that cooking. We hadn't eaten a full meal when we had gone out due to me wanting to treat Emilia with a home made meal. Besides steak there would be mashed potatoes and green beans. Having to feed myself for many years, I had learned to cook. At first each meal had required a few minutes to prepare but over time those had become boring.
I looked at Emilia sitting at the table. At first we had talked but then there had been silence so she had taken out her phone. I didn't understand how she could make sense of the object to the point of spending endless hours on it. But it made her happy so I didn't question it too much.
"Hey, Iain, is this you?" Emilia asked and held her phone towards me.
"One moment." I replied and made sure our meal wouldn't be destroyed.
I walked over to her and my mouth fell open. It was the picture the teenagers had taken of me with the condoms. The caption said something about me but the only thing I focused on was the picture. I started to blush as I realized I had forgotten to ask Emilia if she wanted to use the condoms.
"I'm sorry." I said and avoided her eyes. "I was...a little distracted and forgot to ask you."
"If I wanted to use condoms, I would've asked you before we ****** for the first time." Emilia replied with a smile. "I like the feeling of your **** without anything between us. I always have. I'm on the pill so there is no need to worry about me getting pregnant."
"I still should have offered." I replied. "I meant to be polite and failed."
"I'm glad you didn't." Emilia said. "I'm surprised your first response wasn't to say that this picture plus word I'm visiting you will make people know we're more than friends."
I was surprised once she brought up the very obvious point. My mind had gone first to making sure she wasn't insulted as I cared for her deeply. If she wasn't so deeply on my mind I would think about the things I used to. I would have worried that my romantic life was about to be invaded more than ever before.
"I was worried about it when she took the picture." I told Emilia. "She was having an argument with another teenager about my ability to fuck. I hoped the picture would just remain on her phone."
"Well we both know how well you ****." She told me. "Do you want me to comment on the picture?"
When I made my decision things would happen quickly. She could easily decide my fear about keeping her secret was reason enough to leave me. She deserved a man who would proudly wear her on his arm and not a boy that was too afraid to hold her hand in public. If I decided to make our relationship public then the life I had before would be gone. A decision between my selfish needs and my love for her.
"You know how I feel." I replied. "But that doesn't matter as you are more important than me, Emilia. If you want us to become public then I won't deny anything."
"Thank you." She said and we embraced. "I love you so much, Iain."
We kissed and as our kisses deepened I felt my fear leaving me. It might be back later but at least she would be with me. At least I could wake up in the morning and have her next to me. After I went back to cooking with a feeling I had run a marathon.
"We should confirm the rumors before they happen." Emilia said.
"Rip off that band aid." I agreed. "No need to build up anticipation."
"So do you think we should release a sex tape?"
"I don't think the world is ready for ours."
We laughed and I finished cooking our dinner. The steak had a good portion of red in it with the green beans to the side of it. The mashed potatoes were on a smaller plate. I set our plates on the table and Emilia practically drooled once I brought the food out.
"You're surprised." I said with a chuckle.
"I knew you could cook." Emilia said shyly. "I just didn't know you could cook."
"I think you should sing your praise after you eat."
"And before we eat we need to take a picture."
Emilia waved her phone and I let out a sigh. I wanted to wait until after dinner but I had already agreed to confirming the rumors before they happened. So I went behind her. As she got her phone ready I put my hands around her waist and my head against hers. She took a picture and I went over to my seat.
"You're very photogenic." Emilia said as she did something on her phone. "I'm captioning the picture with 'Having dinner with my boyfriend'."
I was thankful that she hadn't asked me to put a caption as I wouldn't know what to do. I could type half-way decently if pressed to do so. But understanding the intricate language of Twitter was beyond me. Especially the thing with the words preceded by pound signs. They seemed like they were required to all things posted to the site.
"This is delicious." Emilia said as she started to eat the steak. "You're going to have to give me your recipe."
"It's been passed through my family for generations." I replied with a smirk as I ate some of the mashed potatoes.
"You're such a liar."
Throughout dinner we joked, laughed, and told stories. It felt good to be alone with her. We finished our dinners quickly as there was no question about what would happen next. I loved her and that meant adoring merely talking to her as much as ******* her. That's what love must mean.
"You have dessert ready, Iain?" Emilia asked with lust in her eyes.
"You'll see." I replied and stood up.
I held out my hand and she took it. Our lovemaking took us from the shower to my bed.
Once I lay on my back I realized how cold the room was. I also realized how wet the sheets were. Emilia and I looked at each other and then laughed. We had become so lost in each other that nothing mattered but our pleasure.
"That was more than I could ever have imagined." Emilia said and put her head on my chest. "I knew ******* you was good but that...that was more than amazing."
"I will always try to please you, my love." I replied and ran my fingers through her hair. "You are a devil yourself. If you weren't then I wouldn't have much to work with."
"I doubt bad lovers would last long with you."
"No one tended to last long with me. None of them were you."
The air was making me shiver and I realized, sadly, that I would have to dry myself off and turn off the shower. A single look to Emilia and both of us were using the towels to dry ourselves off. We could have dried each other off but that was a little too intimate now. Both of us were exhausted and there was no need to test our resilience.
Emilia helped me change covers. I was so used to changing covers by myself that it hardly felt like work with her. We joked and teased each other the entire time which made me feel more alive than ever before. Finally we made sure that the shower was turned off and any water was cleaned up. After getting dressed we sat on the couch and watched tv. I didn't focus on the program and I doubted Emilia did either.
A few minutes into the movie, or show or news report, and she looked at me briefly. She was uncertain about something and it hurt me to think that maybe she would leave me. That this uncertainty was the beginning of the end.
"Is anything bothering you, Emilia?" I asked.
"I...you're worried about me leaving you and...I fear you will leave me. I try not to show anything as that isn't fair to you. You've reassured me and I should trust you. I just can't believe that something so perfect will last forever." She replied.
I squeezed Emilia's hand. This was my first serious relationship and my resume contained no long lasting relationships. I had to reassure my love so that in times of doubt she wouldn't turn to run. That if I made a mistake that she wouldn't forget to ask questions. She deserved my honesty now.
"I love you more than I have anyone else before." I told her. "I could leave other women behind because they were just women. You are something else entirely. Being with you makes me feel more alive than I ever thought possible. I don't know how to reassure you past what I've already done."
"I don't know either." Emilia replied weakly.
"If you were so uncertain why did you come?"
"I hoped that I wasn't imagining things. I hoped that I didn't love you too much so if you did..."
"I will never leave you. No matter what happens. I think you knew that when you decided to visit me. I will make sure that you know how much you can trust me. I've had women that I was with only a night or two. You're not the first woman I've had in my house but you're the first I've had dinner with. You're the first I walked around with."
Emilia was such a strong woman and it surprised me that she would have such doubts. I had my own fears because this was my first serious relationship. Of course I would wonder if I was doing things correctly. Of course I would worry that she was showing signs of leaving me. I hadn't thought to consider that she would worry I was lying to her. That she would think I was playing a game with her. I should have tried to see things more from her point of view. I would need to be more considerate in the future.
"I love you, Iain." Emilia reassured me.
"And I love you, Emilia." I replied.
"I won't leave you."
"And I won't leave you."
It felt like we were saying our vows. That those simple words binded us in ways beyond words. That from this moment on we wouldn't stray from each other's sides. That through sickness and health we would not give up on the each other. I would stay true to those vows until my dying days.
"We should go to bed." I said as Emilia yawned. "But not as exciting as last time."
"I don't think my body could handle anything more tonight." Emilia said as I turned off the tv.
"Good. I don't think I could resist if you asked me."
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