This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
I sat with one arm on the armrest and the other on top of the couch while the news played. There was the usual reports going on about the weather, political leaders, sports, and the like. Nothing interested me today and I was only watching to pass the time. I was only watching the useless noise pass by on the screen as a distraction. Emilia would be here in a few short hours, maybe minutes, and then my dreams could be fulfilled. I might wait a little bit before making love to her as a way to build up anticipation for the both of us. If I could restrain myself so long.
The same commercial came on for about the fifth time in half an hour. Though it was most likely more as I hadn't been keeping track. I jumped up as I heard my doorbell. A large smile came on my face as I rushed to the front door. Before opening I looked at the homely attire I had chosen for her.
"Emilia, you're early." I said and saw her with the same expression as me.
She was more than happy, she was ecstatic. My eyes went over her body and I wanted to take her on the steps. But with the likelihood of passerbys and people watching from their windows, it wouldn't be the smartest thing to do. If only I was a foolish man so I didn't have to exercise such restraints for myself.
"I planned to be here now." Emilia replied. "I wanted to surprise you."
"And surprise me you have." I said.
She handed me her small bag and I dropped it on the floor once she passed the threshold. I slammed the door and pushed her against it. I kissed her hard and then stopped.
"Is something wrong, Iain?" Emilia asked worriedly.
"No, nothing is wrong." I replied and kissed the top of her head gently. "I wanted to give you a better experience than being ****** on the door."
"I wish you wouldn't worry about stuff like that."
"Trust me, I also wish I didn't."
I bent down and picked up Emilia's bag and started to head up the stairs. Her eyes went around the house but mainly stayed focused on me. I shouldn't have stopped what I was doing at the door. I should have taken her there. She was right behind me and yet my plan was to wait so I could please her more. No not just please her, to show her that I wanted more from our relationship than sex. That if she was imagining a life with me, I was here for more than just a fun time. I was here to support her in all matter of things.
"How was your trip?" I asked.
"Exhausting." Emilia replied. "I was thinking of you the entire time. Traffic has never been as bad as it was today."
"The traffic was actually bad. I was watching the news when you arrived. It is a disaster on the roads today."
"So I wasn't just imagining things."
"No, you weren't."
We chuckled as I opened my bedroom door. The sheets were clean and there was nothing out of place. I turned on my lights and she looked around the room. Her eyes went to the bed but I held up her bag. The next part of her stay could happen once her things were put away. We put her things away in drawers and on the sink counter.
"I guess it's time to show you around now." I said as I tried to keep up a mature manner.
"You could do that." Emilia said and jumped on the bed. "Or you could show me what happened in that dream of yours."
"You're the first serious relationship I've had. I'd rather to do something other than **** you night and day. At least for now."
"We started this relationship ******* in your trailer. We can **** now and then go out."
I wanted to argue with her but my body agreed. I walked over to her and found her idea a good one. We'd both get what we wanted. I could calm myself down enough to think for once in many days.
"Get out of those clothes." I said and started undressing while heading to the shower. "There is something else I feel we should try first."
I grinned once she realized what I wanted and took off her clothes quickly. I made sure the water was a comfortable temperature before signaling her to come in. The love we made in the shower was much sweeter than my vision had been.
We continued to pleasure each other in hopes we would find even more release. But then that venture proved useless.
"Later." I breathed and exited her.
"Later." She said with a smile.
We washed and for a moment I thought we would begin ******* yet again. But our bodies had been too tired from the excitement. It was good enough to look at her and know she was mine. To know that I was hers. I smiled at the memories we would make.
"So where are we going?" Emilia asked as we got dressed.
"Walking around." I told her. "There are some small shops far removed from where the tourists flock to. It should afford us some privacy."
"Are you still worried about someone finding out?"
"You are my strength."
"Oh shut up. Don't quote our lines to me."
"If you're going to reprimand me, you need to be angry."
Emilia jokingly punched me and I pretended to be injured. When she realized I had only been faking an injury, we became a tangled mess of limbs on the bed as we continued to play fight. We stopped and looked at each other.
"Later." Emilia said with a laugh.
"Later." I replied.
* * *
"It's not that cold." I argued.
"That isn't the point." Emilia retorted.
I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I bought us hot chocolate. She smiled at me with a coyly as she began to drink. We drank as we walked. To not arouse suspicion we weren't holding hands though both of us were dying to. In all honesty there weren't too many people around to notice us if we were. It was getting late enough that not many people would even care. Couples were paying attention to each other and thinking of what they would be doing late into the night.
"Good idea?" Emilia asked.
"Yes," I admitted. "You win."
"Of course I win. Hot drink and hot guy."
I laughed and looked at Emilia. She was young and someone I wanted to be with the rest of my life. The need to truly connect with someone wasn't something I usually felt. It had been easy in the past to leave women once I was bored of them. But Emilia...she was different.
"I don't mind that you're old." Emilia said after looking around for a minute. "I was honest about that. I'm not saying that because I'm looking for a quick ****. I want an actual relationship with you. An actual monogamous relationship with you. The kind that is for better or worse."
She had said 'I love you' days ago. We had both said the words without thinking about them. We both had not regretted them. I had hoped that they meant something more than another relationship and that hope was being rewarded now. We stopped walking when assured no one was around to be interested in us.
"You love me." I said as she put a hand on my chest.
"Of course I do." Emilia replied with a smile. "I'm just wondering...I know you said it over the phone, but did you mean it?"
"Of course I did. I still do. I would not lie about my feelings."
She removed her hand and we became quiet when a mother and her two small children walked by us. She hardly looked up as she was too busy keeping her children in line. If my relationship with Emilia would last until the end of time, would we have children? Children had never been in my future and I was surprised how happy the idea was making me.
"But you have to be aware of how much trouble this relationship will be for the both of us." I said. "You'll find yourself running into more trouble than you thought possible."
"Or you're just afraid that's what is going to happen." Emilia replied. "Do you think you're just frightened about an outcome that will never happen?"
"I am old enough to be your father, my love. Just because we don't mind doesn't mean the rest of the world will overlook that fact. I've seen my fellow actors criticized about taking younger wives. There will be a few interviews you'll have where that fact will be brought up. And I'll have to keep professional when I'm asked intrusive questions about you."
"Why should we care?"
If only I could share her optimism. If only I could share in that certainty she had. Words wanted to pour from my mouth but each argument now seemed so petty. How could I want to argue so fervently about something that could destroy my relationship? How could I be on the side of my insecurities instead of Emilia's? In her eyes was the knowledge that she would have my back through thick and thin.
"We shouldn't." I said and bought a few minutes of silence while drinking hot chocolate. "But I do. I do care how people look at me. I worry about everything I do."
"You don't need to." Emilia reassured me. "Anyone who matters won't care. I'm sure you won't be fired over a rumor. Such as if a rumor came out about us being a couple, the fans would be mad but that wouldn't matter. We would have each other."
"If it wasn't you telling me this, I would be dismissive."
I needed her strength now. Her talk made it seem as if she just wanted to make our relationship known. She didn't want to hide her feelings for me. In that moment I wanted to tell the entire world that we were dating. Maybe someday that would happen as she walked down the aisle towards me.
"Can the media be that threatening?" Emilia asked with a hint of worry.
"Sometimes." I replied. "It depends on the day and how much news they actually have to report on. An actor that is held on a pedestal can come crashing down the next day. I've always tried staying in the good graces of others so I would always be able to find a job."
"There are other actors who have had rumors told about them that still have jobs. You're being afraid for no reason."
She was right, of course, there was an absurdity to my fear. It was only with her confidence that the walls around me were starting to break down. But my beliefs couldn't be changed in a mere night no matter how I felt. I wanted all it to take for me to be more open was Emilia's love for me. To draw enough power from it that I was a changed man by morning's light. That was, sadly, not how life worked. However, there was a certainty that I wouldn't be as timid after this conversation. That was a start.
"You're right." I said with a grin. "There could be awful rumors about us and nothing would change my feelings about you. I'd still love you no matter what anyone else said."
"And I could never stop loving you." Emilia replied. "You are a strong man that can protect me."
"And you're a strong woman that can make me into a better person."
She was perfect. Maybe it was fate that had made me wait so long for her. Maybe some greater power had realized she was the one that completed me. Or maybe it was random chance and there was nothing mysterious about meeting her. We both finished our hot chocolates and threw them away. As we headed back to my car my hand got close to hers and we nearly held hands. How badly I wanted to and yet the fear held me back. Or could it be because we didn't need to hold hands to touch each other? We could be miles apart and be connected by our love for each other?
"I've never been in a real relationship before." I admitted as we buckled up. "But that is what I want with you. That's the only thing I want with you. That is what you want and that is what you deserve."
"Did your career make you stay single?" Emilia asked.
"I also never cared enough about anyone else. I warned my past lovers that I would leave them someday. That I didn't love them. I couldn't risk my career for people I didn't love. But I do love you."
"And you're afraid about getting your heart broken by me?"
"I've never had to deal with the thought of someone leaving me when I love them so deeply."
"I won't leave you, Iain."
She put a hand on my check and I leaned down to her face. Her kisses were deep as if trying to take the fear out of my mind. I put a hand on her hip and lost myself in the feeling. She would be there for me. Of that I was certain. There was no need for me to worry anymore about the future. If she was next to me who did I have to fear?
Our kiss ended and I looked around to see if anyone had caught me. No one had paid attention to us. I leaned down for another kiss and she gave me what I needed. Again I looked up and saw no one watching. I laughed as I started to drive back home.
"Did you want to **** me in the backseat?" Emilia asked with a coy smile.
"Was thinking of you moving over to my lap." I answered.
"Even with everyone watching?"
I blushed deeply at how passionate I had been willing to get with my girlfriend. Emilia laughed loudly and eventually I joined her. She had said I fucked like a much younger man and now I felt like one. A pretty girl loved me and couldn't get enough of me which was making me act foolish.
"It is one thing for people to know we're together." I said after our laughter had died down to chuckles. "But giving them a show of us fucking is something else entirely."
"You're right, if we're giving them a show then we should charge them." Emilia replied.
We started laughing loudly again. We didn't stop until we entered my house.
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