This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
Even though the dead were gone, the wind was still freezing. Drogon seemed to fly more comfortably the higher up he was and so I endured with my eyes closed, checking regularly to make sure we were going in the right direction. Only a few times did I have to correct Khaleesi's child. Once was after he had avoided a rough batch of air.
After too little time passed, Bear Island was underneath us. Drogon circled as he descended which gave me a better view of my home. The only home I had after Daenerys and Jon had died. But this home was not the one I remembered. The island I had left wasn't in ruins with only a few buildings left to show what once had been.
Less than a dozen men greeted me once I got off of Drogon. My dragon didn't move as I greeted the men in turn. Each of them was worn down with the wounds of war. Viserion alone had caused such devastation. Had the Night King meant to use this as a way to make me unwilling to fight? Or had he attacked Bear Island in the event I would live and make sure to wound me one last time?
"Is Lady Lyanna Mormont still alive?" I asked and managed to keep the pain out of my voice.
"Barely, Your Grace." The man replied. "It might be that she is waiting for your return."
I didn't voice my disagreement. I had disgraced my House and the rest of Westeros would have a much easier time forgiving me than my own blood. My own blood that I had failed to protect after she had taken up the burden that should have been mine. She had years of ruling to steel herself against forgiving me. I could not let that hope be my undoing.
"What should be done about your dragon?" The same man asked as we walked together with the others following behind.
"Drogon will be hungry after the journey." I replied, glad to be distracted for the moment. "If there is any livestock, make sure it is protected. If there is any sick, let them run free. Besides that, leave him alone."
The walk was made in silence except for a few questions about fighting the Night King. Everyone was amazed by the nightmare and I was forced to quell their curiosity. If I didn't then they would know how afraid I really was. They would know how much I wanted just to fly away and spend years trying to find myself. If I even was capable of doing that anymore.
"Shes in there." The man said and pointed to a hall.
There was the place I had both eaten as a child and received people who sought out House Mormont's help. It had the signs of repair on it and I kept my footsteps even though I wanted to shake. I walked inside and past other injured before reaching Lyanna Mormont's bedside.
"Cousin," Lyanna managed to say. "It's good to see you alive."
My mouth moved but no words exited my lips. Nearly her entire body was covered in bandages and some still had blood on them. She was only a child and didn't deserve to die now. Her face still showed strength but it looked badly burned. She must have helped try to kill the Night King. It was foolish and would never have worked, but you couldn't keep a warrior from such an important battle.
"We scared him." Lyanna continued. "Nothing will set foot on this island unless House Mormont allows it."
A smile nearly formed on my lips but then it was gone as my cousin started to cough. Her body seemed to continually be lifted up and pushed down by some demented god. I quickly lent her my help and held back my tears. Even as she convulsed, she retained her dignity and only let out a whimper. She would be dead soon and would no longer have to endure such torment.
"How long has the coughing been going on?" I asked.
"I can't tell." Lyanna replied when she found her voice. "It seems I've always have had it. I don't think it does well to dwell on it. It won't bother me much longer."
"Why hold on for so long?"
"I'm a Mormont, the same as you."
"No, better."
She would never have been so foolish to marry out of love and not think about the consequences. She would never have sold people into slavery. She would have retained her honor throughout her life and now she was dying. Though I would've said the same about me when I was so young. Youth gave people the benefit of stupidly believing that their idealistic dreams would become reality. Only the few like Jon would keep their honor.
"How was your journey?" Lyanna asked.
"I should've come here sooner." I told her. "You could be alive if I acted quicker."
"You were fighting a war. If you had lost then others wouldn't be alive. I am scared of dying, but I'm not going to blame you for something outside of your control. If only Jon..."
"He died killing the Night King. He...Daenerys visited me after her death. Jon is in a paradise of his own making. When you die you will go to your own paradise, I promise."
My cousin's face looked much calmer and I wondered if she hoped to find Jon after death. I didn't tell her that each person made their own afterlife and not everyone was in the same one. In any case she would be happy after she died. Of that I was more than certain.
Healers walked around the room and at one point they carried off a corpse. No longer would we have to worry about the dead rising, but a fear inside me would make me burn dead bodies for years to come. Or at least until spring came and the world started to grow anew with no traces of the dead.
Lyanna grabbed my hand and I squeezed it. This could be the last time we were able to talk unless she came into my afterlife. We looked into each other's eyes and I gently kissed her forehead. When I lifted my head up I noticed that we were both crying. This was the end for her.
"Any words you wrote to me once I married Jon were for him." I started. "I know that. You were making him happy as you admired him. I can understand the need for diplomacy. Though these words mean nothing, I will say them: I apologize for my actions. I should not have let my heart rule my actions. I should not have sold people into slavery for a wife that couldn't learn how to live in the North. I should not have thought a person of her upbringing would be happy with me. I should have just fucked her and left with dreams of a happy future with her. Maybe if I had remained Lord of Bear Island it would be me dying and not you. You wouldn't have needed to get in a risky position that gave away your life. I am sorry, Lady Lyanna Mormont of Bear Island."
I started pulling my hand away but Lyanna grasped it tightly with her own. At least how hard she was able to in her condition. I saw the fear clearly in her eyes, she didn't want to be alone. Who did want to be alone when they died? The ones I had been with in their final moments had always wanted comfort. Jon had been at peace and stronger than most when he had died in my arms. Lyanna was just a child.
"I already forgave you, Jorah." Lyanna replied. "You don't need to doubt my sincerity. Jon wouldn't take a person into his bed if he didn't love them. And when he loves someone, that person is special. That is all the reason I need to forgive you."
"I don't know what he saw in me." I told her with a laugh that was out of place. "I pushed him away and yet he saw the love in me. He was an amazing man and I wish I knew him longer. That we knew each other before I fled into exile."
Maybe with him warming my bed I could have avoided all the dishonor I had brought to my House. It would have been a sight if he had been named King of the North and then married me. I focused on my cousin as my dreams were only making me sadder.
"House Mormont and House Stark would be stronger together." Lyanna said and she was silent as her mind must have drifted away. "I wish we had had more time together. I was not familiar with you before and I want to see what Jon saw. What Daenerys Targaryen saw."
"I wish I had come back to be ruled by you." I told her. "From all accounts you were a fierce Lady of Bear Island and someone our ancestors would be proud of."
I thought of bringing up the subject of Daenerys Targaryen and how Jon had briefly bedded her. But I held my tongue. Lyanna could have heard about my love and had decided not to bring her up. Either that or my cousin was oblivious and I didn't want to ruin her image of Jon. If she were to die, I would not complicate matters in her final moments.
"Then it was merely because Jon loved me?" I asked. "If I hadn't met him you would have not forgiven my sins?"
It seemed as if many years passed with each breath. I had been forgiven but there was some importance about my blood absolving me. The words needed to come out of her mouth for me to finally find peace. To feel as if I could die with my father proud.
"I don't want to admit this, but there will not be time later." Lyanna said after a few minutes. "It wasn't when Jon Stark chose you that my forgiveness was given. It was after you had fled into exile and before you returned to Westeros. I didn't admit to anyone when it had happened due to the shame it would have brought me. How could I forgive you when you had showed no signs of changing?"
Another series of coughs made her unable to speak and it was as if I could feel her soul start to slip from her body. I held her close to me so that she didn't hurt herself as much. Until her coughing fit passed, I worried she would die before she could finish explaining.
"Your strength and weakness is the same." Lyanna said so quietly I had to lean my head down to hear. "You loved Lynesse to the point that you would do anything to see her happy. You committed atrocities just for the chance to see her smile yet again. I don't know what it means, not really. I have never had the chance to love like you. I've never met anyone who inspires such devotion. Maybe you are unique in that aspect like Jon to honor. I can't hate you for loving someone because I can't understand it. My hate for you would have only been because it was expected of me, not because I felt it."
"You don't feel any hatred for me?" I asked in amazement.
"The only thing that made me dislike you is the burden you placed on my shoulders. But that doesn't matter now."
No it didn't matter. What did matter was that we were together. What did matter was that I could continue the Mormont line. What did matter was that I had a chance to prove to everyone that there was a reason Jon had chosen me as his husband. That there was a reason the gods had chosen me to be Azor Ahai.
"I never relinquished my hold on House Mormont and Bear Island." Lyanna said so quietly I had to lean even closer to her. "Even though the North would have allowed it, I could not seen to be usurped. You are older than me and one day I would again have to take my place as Lady if you didn't have children. I might be seen as weak enough to be taken advantage of. All the burden you put on me, I could hardly understand it at times."
The North had been independent after Robb Stark had helped secure the victory. They didn't care about any pardons King Robert Baratheon had given. Lyanna had quickly pledged herself to Jon and would go with House Mormont's interests. She was so strong and now she was breathing her last breaths.
"I now the task of ruling House Bear and Mormont Island to you." Lyanna said weakly.
Her mouth moved for a few minutes but no sound came out. I let out a loud cry once she faded from this world into the next one. Those who could walk formed a circle around the table my cousin was on. For awhile I was the only one to cry and then the others joined in. I had felt too much pain recently.
First Khaleesi had been shot when I had been fighting to relieve my boredom. Second the harsh war I had been at the center of. Third Jon killing the Night King and dying in my arms. Fourth everything after making me feel hollow.
For hours all of us cried for Lyanna Mormont. I laid my head on her chest and prayed to the gods to bring her back. I didn't care if they were new or old. All I cared was that they give this child the years to become someone the bards wrote songs of. I sobbed that they had burdened me with being Azor Ahai and so they were in my debt. Others cried their thanks to have had Lyanna as a ruler. Still others remained silent with only the tiniest of sobs and I didn't have the strength to figure their mindset.
I managed to get up and looked around me. My body demanded rest but my duty as King demanded something different. It demanded that I accept the forgiveness my cousin had given me in the last moments of her life. It demanded that I be brave enough to accept that I was no longer the man I had been.
"Lady Lyanna Mormont was better than I will ever be for my House." I said and quickly the others grew quiet. "It did not matter to me that King Jon Stark had chosen me for his husband. It did not matter to me that the gods had chosen me for their Azor Ahai. Those things did not matter to me because the only thing I wanted was forgiveness from my blood. Jon was honorable and the gods powerful, but they weren't my blood. Lyanna died while telling me I am now again Lord of Bear Island. In her final breaths she gave me what I didn't think I even deserved. We will mourn my cousin and then we will rebuild."
* * *
I looked at the hard work we had accomplished as the sun neared the horizon. A majority of rooms had been restored enough so that people could sleep in warmth. Women, children, and the sick had been given preference to such luxuries. Some women had given up their gifts as had I. Instead of a warm room, I slept in a tent with Drogon nesting close by. With the dragon's presence I felt both safe and in danger.
The men around me turned as Drogon roared and a man came running towards us. In the dying light I was barely able to make out a scroll in his hands. Upon approaching me he bowed and handed me the scroll.
"A raven from the Eyrie just arrived." The man said.
"Sansa." I whispered under my breath. "You are all dismissed for the day!"
I walked quickly to my tent and heard Drogon overhead. He knew that something important had happened to me. After starting my fire, I read the letter. She was one person that had survived the horrors. I had lost Daenerys, Jon, and Lyanna but I still had her.
King Jorah Mormont,
While I am overjoyed you are alive, my heart breaks for Jon Stark. He was the most noble person I knew. His like will not be seen in Westeros for many generations. I am glad, though, that he died fighting the Night King. It is an ending fitting such a man. Though I wish that he were still alive.
My own journey was not of such renown as yours. The journey to the Vale was long and the boredom was broken up occasionally by the dead. They were a hive mind and were able to cover vast distances to attack many places at once. Bran, myself, and most of the others managed to reach the Eyrie. Only a few of our people lost their lives.
I ask that you not make the journey to King's Landing until I arrive. Though with Lady Lyanna Mormont's death, I assume you will already be there for quite some time.
Lady Sansa Stark of Winterfell
I smiled and listened as Drogon landed in the distance. I put the letter away safely in a drawer and then heard the howling of a Direwolf. Duty called again so I soon arrived at the docks. Behind me were guards and coming off the ship were soldiers. Ghost ran off of the ship and went to tackle me.
He ended up pushing me to the ground as he licked my face. It was hard for me to retain any dignity in such a situation and my men held back any laughter they felt. After a few minutes Ghost allowed me to stand up.
"I hope that your journey went well." I said.
"No one cares to attack others, at least for the moment." One man said.
Then the men I had called and Ghost followed me to eat dinner. Rebuilding was going well, but there was more help needed to bring Bear Island back to its former glory.
No comments:
Post a Comment