Tuesday, July 30, 2013

GetGlue Stickers (7/30/2013)

I go over the latest stickers I've gotten from GetGlue!

Monday, July 29, 2013

Animorphs Re-Read: The Andalite Chronicles (Chapters 8-12)


Chapter 8

I like how Z-Space travel (imagine hyperspace from the Star Wars series) works. In that there is a reason why you can't always use it. So that's why Elfangor and company aren't using it in the start of the chapter.

Arbron's character is being expanded. He can take things seriously and that surprises Elfangor. Of course Elfangor realizes that he is biased because Arbron never was serious around HIM. Arbron is 'unraveling a mystery' and won't tell the egotistical Andalite aristh about it.

Elfangor is bored since Arbron is researching, Alloran is brooding, Chapman is brooding, and so the only one he's really talking to is Loren. He remarks that sitting looks very odd. So Andalites don't sit?

Loren and Elfangor talk about Earth and the talk quickly turns to Loren's mother. Then talk turns to war. It is saddening to see Alloran just starting to pay attention to Loren because of how she said her father couldn't cope with life after fighting a war. From this action it is safe to assume that Alloran can only really connect to fellow veterans since only they can understand his pain. The war-prince connects to Loren and even goes so far as to defend her from Chapman.

I like how Loren singles out Elfangor as a memory she's worried about losing.

Loren asks why Andalites don't have mouths and Chapman tells her that her question is stupid (fucking asshole) and tries to bribe Elfangor with money from Earth. When Elfangor laughs at Chapman's offer the asshole then tries to offer the aristh with power. Elfangor replies he's an Andalite and his species isn't bent on ruling others like the Yeerks are.

Before Chapman can embarrass himself anymore, Arbron calls Elfangor over. The suspense is killing me as neither character will say what the images means. No, they have to call Alloran over as the suspense is about to kill me. And whatever this master weapon is it was hidden in Egypt under a Pyramid. I'm guessing it's the Time Matrix.

IT IS THE TIME MATRIX!

So the Skrit Na picked up the Time Matrix or the humans first?

Now the mission has changed to getting the Time Matrix first since that is the higher priority.


Chapter 9

So now Elfangor and company is going to the Taxxon home world! And, of course, it's going to be full of butterflies and ponies!

The general consensus among the three Andalites is that the Skrit Na don't know what they have since they are going to the Taxxon home world and not to the Yeerk home world.

Chapman interrupts the discussion and demands to be noticed. He criticizes the Andalites because they are just dragging him and Loren across the galaxy. Elfangor reminds the asshole human that there is an emergency in progress.

So Loren didn't guess that there is danger involved in her trip now? Or is it her only trying to be kind to Elfangor (aka asking Chapman's question in a more polite manner)?

Alloran allows the humans to know what is actually going on and it appears that Loren is more naive than Chapman. This can be assumed when Chapman knows how a time machine can be used as a weapon while Loren doesn't.

Chapman pushes Alloran's big button and says that maybe the Yeerks are the better ones because 'they sound like winners'. This causes Alloran to bring up what he got disgraced for: something involving the Hork-Bajir home world.

Alloran says that they are now on battle alert and the two arisths appear nervous at the thought of an actual mission. This is caused by them having to morph into Taxxons (whenever you morph into something you get a bunch of whatever's instincts).

Elfangor remarks that his daydreams of being a warrior always went well but the reality wasn't like he expected. I feel like this is the same theme that happens with the Animorphs (although they weren't warned before they became warriors).


Chapter 10

So the first part of the plan is to capture a Yeerk ship and get morphs from that ship. Luckily there is a ship that's just arriving.

I am happy to see Elfangor abandoning his pride when he puts the mission first. He abandons his pride by telling Alloran that Arbron is the better shot. Elfangor, instead, pilots the Jahar and remarks that boarding the Yeerk ship will be different than the Skrit Na. He appears more afraid of the Yeerk ship because he doesn't know what will be waiting for them.

In his panic, Elfangor tries to recall everything Sofor had taught him.

The description of a Taxxon just makes me think of 'killer space worm'.

Elfangor's first real fight! It has been revealed that Taxxons will eat any fresh meat. This includes eating their own kind. So cannibalism was in my first fandom and now I'm a fan of Hannibal.

Arbron thinks there has been victory but Elfangor and Alloran have guessed that there is even bigger trouble coming.

Arbron makes a joke before he and Elfangor fight Hork-Bajir.

A lot of mention has been paid to saying how Elfangor doesn't think when he uses his tail blade, but now it's being mentioned like this is the first time it has happened?

Whatever is different has Elfangor going into super tail blade mode. Arbron is just shocked and Alloran seems to have respect for him. Elfangor is freaked out and finds comfort in Loren (no, they don't have sex).


Chapter 11

Elfangor becomes ashamed quickly. He feels he is not acting in the right manner. Pride?

Elfangor doesn't react kindly to Loren asking if he's okay. It's a rude action but his pride has been hurt badly (running into someone's arms after his first battle).  Loren is shown to be kind as after Elfangor says he doesn't need help she goes to help Arbron who had been injured in the fight.

Alloran gives Elfangor and Arbron orders but neither moves. Alloran is at first annoyed, then he realizes that this has been their first battle. He is harsh, but he is caring when he can relate to others. This is one of those instances as he tells them they did a good job but they still have work to do.

Loren first has Elfangor promise that she and Chapman will be taken back to Earth. She then warns the aristh that Chapman is trouble.

Loren says, "Chapman doesn't trust you."

And Elfangor replies sassily with, [I got that impression,]

It's almost like Alloran is telling Elfangor to get away from his girlfriend and focus on the mission. Love it!

Aw! Elfangor is worrying for Loren's safety!

I like how Elfangor defends Loren from Arbron's little rant.

Arbron compliments Elfangor's fighting skills. Elfangor is torn as he doesn't like to remember killing but his pride loves being complimented for his actions.


Chapter 12

Elfangor, Arbron, and Alloran have every one locked up. Alloran tells the Taxxons to not eat each other, but they don't listen. The war-prince then says the Yeerks have left them as they're acting like Taxxons in their natural state. Elfangor wonders where the Yeerks went but his question goes unanswered.

I like how the Yeerks are revealed. It is very well done. Alloran states that the Yeerks are being transported to the Taxxon home world so they can get hosts.

Alloran and Elfangor have a debate whether or not to kill the Yeerks. Elfangor argues that it's murder because the Yeerks are helpless. Alloran argues that the point of war is to kill. Arbron stops the argument, at least for now, by saying it wouldn't be a wise move to make at this time.

I like the line "I had made an enemy of Prince Alloran." as it is sort of foreshadowing later events.

Before Elfangor acquires his Taxxon morph Alloran jokes that doing so will breach Elfangor's 'high moral code'.

And the chapter ends with Elfangor starting to morph.
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Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Animorphs Re-Read: The Andalite Chronicles (Chapters 4-7)

Chapter 4

I love the description of the Skrit Na. All they want to do is collect stuff and don't involve themselves in wars (like the one between the Andalites and Yeerks). Hell, it sounds like they don't really have a culture of their own. And their species name of Skrit Na indicates their two phases. Starting with the Skrit and then metamorphosing into the Na. Those in the Na stage go to peaceful planets and kidnap the native species and either take them to a zoo on the Skrit Na homeworld or just travel around with them for a little bit.

Okay, I've decided, I'd totally like to be a Na. Elfangor ends his description of the Skrit Na with, "Personally, I don't think they understand themselves."

Elfangor is still showing pride as he describes "boldly" entering the ship.

The description of entering the Skrit Na  ship is eerie. I am imagining a xenomorph popping out of nowhere for some reason.

Elfangor describing a human, "OMG! It stands on just two legs! Arbron, look at this weird creature! OMG! And it has this thing I read about called a 'mouth'!"

Of course the human language (in this case English) isn't translating for Elfangor's translation device. I like when it's made mention in science fiction that the whole universe doesn't speak the same language. I like the added edition here of the Andalite translation device not working on every language.

I like that the human WOMAN was the one to take control of the situation.

Am loving Arbron telling Elfangor to "use his charm" on the human woman.

And the woman is calling bullshit on Elfangor and Arbron being the good guys. Good that she doesn't immediately trust them. It'd make things unrealistic.

I like how Arbron describes the Dracon beam and ends by saying, "Which is why we'd really prefer it if you didn't fire it."

And we get the woman's name, Loren, and Elfangor is seeming to be attracted to her. I would say it's weird to think of two different species being in a relationship with each other (mind you I'm talking in a sci-fi setting involving aliens), but it isn't creepy with Elfangor and Loren. Plus this isn't the last time in the series that two different species will be attracted to each other.


Chapter 5

For some reason Elfangor and Arbron are both grossed out by human blood (aka red blood). I don't mind comments about mouths and legs, but I don't get what is so gross about red blood.

I like how Elfangor describes it being okay to not help fix the Skrit Na ship because it was their fault anyways.

And Elfangor takes an immediate dislike to Hedrick Chapman. Chapman treats Elfangor as a new zoo animal rather than an intelligent being. Loren also doesn't like Chapman since he reacts like an ungrateful bastard. Chapman soon provokes Elfangor into having a reaction and I'm not liking him already (I'd make a joke that I wish he'd die first but he's a sort of villain in the main Animorphs series).

I do disagree with Elfangor's anger about Chapman being ungrateful. This is a human who didn't know aliens existed before and isn't aware of the power structure involved among each species.


Chapter 6

And one of the reasons I might have trouble with traveling in the Animorphs Universe: the weird thing about gravity in ships that travel through space. While watching Let's Plays of the Dead Space Games and Prey I always start feeling a little sick when the gravity changes and you're walking on the walls like they were the floor.

I like Loren's wonder at the Dome Ship. How the flora is different amazes her and that makes me happy. Why am I imagining her as a good companion for the Doctor in Doctor Who?

The discussion on how each species eats was amusing. Would love to hear Chapman's story in full.

And now something I ended up not liking about aliens in sci-fi: Yes, be amazed that the clothing isn't actually part of their bodies. You were supposed to be an advanced species, right? Then again the rest of the alien species in the Animorphs Universe don't really seem to wear clothing.

But I do like that when Elfangor learns about shoes and human feet his first reaction is of pity. And of course the, "Humans are an amazing species!" is well played here and doesn't seem forced or talking down to its audience.

Good thing Elfangor and Arbron didn't rescue me or else I would go on what I think about the meaning of clothing to human society.

Point for Chapman: he talks about the will of the human spirit and how we won't be kept out of a place just because it's harsh.


Chapter 7

Arbron gives Elfangor the news that they're leaving the Dome Ship and our lead is very distressed. I can understand as he wanted to fight, but I don't get any attachment to home. I admit I never, throughout childhood to adulthood, found home to be an important concept. As long as I can live comfortably, I don't care if I'm living in a different solar system.

We are introduced to another character, only by reputation at this point: Alloran-Semitur-Corrass.

For now he doesn't have a good reputation because of events that Elfangor doesn't know about. All Elfangor knows is that going on a mission with a disgraced war-prince isn't a good thing at all.

Elfangor is also worried about the war being over when he gets back. He admits that'd be a good thing, but he's still young and wants to fight.

It's like Elfangor had a fangasm when he saw the Jahar (Alloran's ship).

I like how Elfangor remarks about erasing Loren and Chapman's recent memories and bringing them back to their home world as "transport work". Loren reacts like, "WTF?!" Chapman seems to think it's some kind of joke.

I like how the difference between Loren and Chapman is shown: Loren is reveling in the beauty of new discovery while Chapman is just interested in function.

Chapman makes a comment saying the Andalites are just hogging all the technology and that's a bad thing. Alloran replies saying that sometimes sharing technology can be a bad thing (remarks on  how the Yeerks got technology).

Why would a technologically advanced species hate those who are good at technology?

Seems Alloran goes off into his own little world as he rants about the Electorate wanting a bloodless war. While I don't like bloodshed in war, the fact is it's going to happen. But trying to not get too into the violence should be a good thing.

Sorry, not ever going to get over the fact that Arbron, who is good at technology, is looked down upon.
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Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents


Shipping Confessions: Charlie Matheson x Miles Matheson (Revolution)

You read the title correctly, today's ship is an incest ship. Some of you might feel disgusted and dirty about just reading the title. You might even now start to hate me because incest is wrong and all that jazz. Whatever your feelings are at the moment, know that I really have no limits when it comes to shipping because it's fiction. The laws of fiction don't govern the laws of real life (there are some instances where life imitates art, but that's not a given).

So when I ship something, it doesn't mean I'd agree with it in real life. Shipping incest is one of those instances. So, rest assured, that I don't support incest.

I started to watch Revolution because J.J.Abrams was part of the team and I enjoyed Fringe. The fact that it was also a post-apocalyptic series was a huge bonus. That sub-genre is one I am in love with because our horrible tomorrows reflect what we consider important in today's world. In Revolution there was an event referred to as 'The Blackout' that caused everything electronic to stop working. This works well as today's world is dependent on electricity.

The ship from the show that I am talking about today is Charlie Matheson and Miles Matheson.

Charlie Matheson is the character the audience is supposed to relate to the most. She is there to ask questions that the audience is asking. Her character is important in the science fiction genre as a whole. When you're introduced to a new world having someone to ask what you're thinking is very useful.

Charlie looks after her brother Danny (who has asthma), uses a bow and arrow, and lives in a little village so she doesn't know much about the world beyond. Nor is she really shown wondering about leaving the home she knows. It seems having her family (made of her brother and father) there is what matters and so she has no need to wander.

Her village, however, still feels the grips of the Monroe Republic. The event that starts the show is Tom Neville (who is a Captain in the Monroe Republic) killing Charlie's father, Ben, and then taking Danny as a hostage. In order to get her brother back, Charlie goes to find Miles Matheson (her uncle). The two bond quickly and they go after Danny.

As the Season progressed, Charlie's knowledge of the world expanded and her connection to Miles grew.

While Charlie is the mouthpiece for the audience, Miles Matheson is already immersed in the world of Revolution. He is my favorite character on the show and has done some dark things.

Miles formed the Monroe Republic with his friend Sebastian "Bass" Monroe. Miles, it is implied, did some very dark things in the events prior to the show. While Miles did initially support Bass, he ended up changing his mind. He changed his mind so much that he attempted to assassinate Bass. Upon failing, he ran away and hid from Monroe's sights.

When Miles first meets Charlie he doesn't want to help her (think of Han Solo helping the rebellion in the original Star Wars Trilogy). He does end up joining her and it seems like he enjoys her company more than an uncle should. Through the Season he takes risks that go beyond one family member helping another.

Charlie and Miles, of course, don't see eye to eye. Especially in the beginning when Charlie still has her innocence. This is what bugged me, and many other viewers, when the show started. Charlie is supposed to be our speaker, but she didn't act how we acted. Luckily, she quickly evolves into a fierce little fighter.

Now in the show Charlie's canon relationship is with Jason Nevile (though when he first appears he goes under the alias Nate Walker), but I don't see as great a bond between them as I do with her and Miles. Especially when Jason is first introduced.

Miles has charm to him, even when he doesn't believe in himself, and you can tell that he deeply cares for her. He cares for her beyond what any uncle would. I believe it is his love for Charlie that made him go back into the open again. It is his love for Charlie that, close to the Season 1 Finale, had him risk his life and react more than a little angry to someone threatening her.

Because it would be highly uncommon for a show like Revolution to delve into incest, both Miles and Charlie have their love interests. I don't believe either character having feelings for a different person means that their love is lessened. All of us can love more than on person in our lifetime. I love my fiance, but that doesn't mean I didn't love a past boyfriend.

Charlie and Jason, as mentioned previously, don't share that much chemistry but that does change later.

Miles' relationship with Rachel, Charlie's mother, is one that the audience doesn't know how it went down. All we know is that it was a short affair before The Blackout. There is a group of fans that go with the theory that Miles is actually Charlie's father. I agree with this theory since there have been so many hints that I'll be surprised if that isn't the case.

So does the thought of a father-daughter ship make me want to drop it? No. This is because it is fiction and the emotional bond they have is so great. It is always the emotional center that draws me into any ship. Sex is secondary when I decided who I think should be together. This isn't to say that I feel clean, but that I won't stop shipping Charlie and Miles if this theory ends up being true.

If you don't like the Charlie and Miles ship merely because it's an incest couple, congratulations with getting to this point. As I stated in the beginning, I don't agree with incest in real life situations but this is fiction. And my shipping heart won't be stopped!

What is up for the next Shipping Confessions? We stay in the world of Revolution and I talk about the pairing I started shipping in the first episode and my love for it grew as the series progressed.
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Shipping Confessions Table of Contents


Monday, July 22, 2013

Animorphs Re-Read: Introduction

I'm deciding on an Introduction to this Re-Read as I think you should know where I stand on the Animorphs series and why nostalgia is probably going to cloud my judgement.

Animorphs was my first fandom. It was the first thing I really gave my heart, mind, and soul to. Well...at least how one does so with fiction. It was the series that provided me with which point of view I now use when writing (first person) and with my first fictional character crush (Tobias). My obsession with this series got so bad that the books had to be taken away from me so that I'd branch out into other areas.

I was first introduced to the series when I got a Scholastic pamphlet thing that showed books you could order. I saw Animorphs #1 The Invasion and it looked interesting. Since this event happened way back when I was in Fourth Grade (so around 1996 when I was 10), I can't remember exactly what drew me to the book. Why I made the decision to buy it and thereby get pulled into my first fandom, I can't recall with certainty. Hell, it might've just been that the book was the most interesting one on the pamphlet.

But once I started to read The Invasion I was consumed by it. I was very interested to see what would become of Jake, Marco, Cassie, Rachel, and Tobias since they would determine the fate of the world. Their actions would determine if the Yeerk invasion of Earth would be successful (I'm not including Ax here since he didn't appear until book #4 The Message). Since I was around the Animorph's age I could also think about the fate of the world depending on me.

From the time I started to read The Invasion until I finished The Beginning, I was enveloped in the world of the Animorphs. I read every book in the main series as well as all the books that took place outside of it (such as The Ellimist Chronicles). When it was over I felt...I guess the best way to explain it would be fulfilled and yet still longing for more. The series ended on a killer of a cliffhanger (K.A.Applegate explained she wanted the gang to go out fighting just like they started, but not Cassie since she stayed on Earth with a boyfriend who I'll call NOT JAKE until we get to that part). The funny thing about the series ending on a cliffhanger is that some of the later series I followed (and that also consumed my life) ended on unresolved cliffhangers.

I don't know how exactly I'll tackle the whole Animorphs series (if I'll go chapter by chapter, every two to three chapters, book by book, ect.). I just know that I'll find a way and it might change along the Re-Read, so no promises.

I will be using THIS LIST to decide in which order I'll go through the series. I hope to revisit some fond memories, rediscover some forgotten ones, and realize things I didn't notice before. I'm highly excited about doing this (as I've been dreaming about finding the books, my memory of them is so good my dreams were able to accurately recreate some of the covers) and yet scared since I might not like them as much. Or if I'll hate the series by the end of this re-read.

Well, next time I make a post of the Animorphs Re-Read I'll be looking at

Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Inbetween: The Darkening 8

Dedicated to Jordan who is a great roleplayer and friend
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I was back in my house and it felt different. Everything felt different now so the fact that my house felt less like a home didn't worry me. My dogs, who it seemed used to be connected to my very soul, were now nervous around me. They must be able to tell that their owner had gone through a transformation. While they were scared now, they'd soon realize that I had changed for the better.

I had arrived home after a hectic work day. Luckily Jack hadn't called me to help with a new case. I felt like I could take on any case without resorting to madness, but I had other things to worry about. It had been a few days and Beverly still walked.

For some reason there was a hate that grew within me whenever we talked. I kept seeing her destroying my relationship with Hannibal. I had finally found peace in a man and yet she kept trying to get in the way.

Subtle things. Little things.

Beverly asked about my therapy sessions with Hannibal and I was kind yet distant in my replies. If she noticed anything, it wouldn't matter soon. It wouldn't matter that she was flirting more openly with me. No woman was as kind as she was without reason. I should've seen that sooner.

I walked to my fireplace and leaned against it. The feel of it meant something more to me now. It was now a way to kill and not just something that provided warmth Thoughts flashed through my mind as I finalized what would happen to Beverly. While her dying inside my house would be fitting, I didn't want any evidence linking me to her death. And Jack's prying gaze would then end up on me sooner than later.

I took out my cell and looked at it. An idea was forming in my head and I was nervous about following it to its conclusion. Not because I thought killing Beverly was wrong, but I was worried I'd mess up and disappoint Hannibal.

Gathering up my courage I called Beverly.

"Hello?" She asked.

"Hi, Beverly." I said, my voice sounding pained.

"Are you doing okay, Will? You've seemed a little...different lately." Damn that prying bitch.

"Alana's death has hit me hard. But I have been getting better." I had to hold back any mention of Hannibal, the man who was saving me from madness. I didn't want to give her any indication that she was going to be walking into a trap. Beverly was clever and would take any reference to Hannibal as confirmation that I could now see her true colors.

"I don't know if being able to solve cases means you're getting better."

"It means I have something to cling onto. To distract me until I get over her death."

"And are you getting over her death?"

"It doesn't feel like it did when she died." I replied truthfully. "But I still don't feel comfortable being alone tonight."

"Will, I-" Beverly replied, obviously confused.

"Not like that." I said and gave a half-hearted attempt at a chuckle. "I'm just worried what I will do to myself. I've been having these thoughts lately. I don't think I'd ever do anything, but it'd be good to have someone that I trust to make sure I stay safe."

Someone I trust. That wouldn't be Beverly. But I needed her to worry about me so she wouldn't see her death coming. She wouldn't know that I could see her now.

"I'll be able to come over in a little under an hour. Will you be safe until then?" She asked.

Good, she was worried. She wouldn't see anything coming.

"Yes." I said.

"Goodbye." Beverly replied.

"Goodbye."

After I hung up I felt some relief. The first stage of the plan was over. I hadn't messed up and all I would have to do is continue the performance when she arrived. Beverly would put on her face of actually caring about me, but that would be a lie.

I had only a short time to prepare for her.
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I quickly finished putting on my clothes as I heard Beverly's car. It would be a short time until she knocked on my door and then the plan would be close to completion. I glanced at my dogs who looked more nervous than normal, but Winston still walked up to me.

He lifted up his head and I scratched behind one of his ears. He knew everything was fine, or else he was a very good actor. In either case, he wasn't going to alert Beverly. Winston cared about me and wouldn't want to see me leave.

Beverly knocked on my door and I opened it for her. I quickly made sure that my face was pained as I was opening the door. I had done it right since my victim's face showed concern. I stepped out of the way so that she could enter. Winston sniffed her and then wagged his tail.

"That's Winston." I said as she bent down to pet him.

"He's a good boy." She said, taking on the sweet tone that most people use to talk to dogs. Treating dogs like they were children and not creatures with feelings. "Where did you get him from?"

"He's a stray, figured a home was better than living on the streets."

"You're a kind man." Beverly said as she stopped petting Winston and stood up. "And I am here for you while you try to figure everything out."

"I know." I said and knew that she was lying. The only reason she cared was to learn more about me and put me under a microscope. I was an oddity and only Hannibal saw me for what I truly was: a person that needed privacy. "And I am glad you are here when Alana can't be."

"It isn't your fault Alana is dead." She replied.

"I know." I said, trying to pretend that I had gotten over Alana's death. I pretended that I was recovering so that Beverly wouldn't be more worried than I wanted her to be. "I thought we could go on a walk."

"No wine?" She joked with a disappointed expression. Of course she wanted to seduce me.

"You're a friend, I didn't want you to get the wrong impression." I had to stop myself from screaming at her that she wasn't Alana. That she could never be Alana or take her place.

"I understand." Beverly said and looked out the window. It was dark and there was a very light snowfall starting.

I picked up a flashlight and opened the door for Beverly. As she went out of my house I looked to my dogs. I was warning them, with my eyes alone, to not bark or warn her that something was amiss. That all wasn't like it had been before.

I closed the door after I had exited my house. I locked it merely from habit and not because I was afraid anyone would try and break in. I wouldn't be gone long, anyways.

"So where to?" Beverly asked.

"I figured a good walk in the woods would be refreshing." I answered.

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Just means that when we get back we'll feel better to be alive."

I turned on my flashlight and my victim followed me into the woods. There was no moon tonight and so the woods were darker than they had been in my dreams. As I wasn't dreaming, I knew where and when I was. I knew what I was doing and so I'd make Hannibal proud. I'd prove to him that I was recovering and becoming a better person all at the same time.

"So you're scaring yourself to feel better now?" Beverly finally asked.

"Yes." I replied and noticed her walking had become slower. "Don't tell me you're getting too scared now. We're already deep in the woods."

"I'm not scared about myself, I'm worried about you."

"We're just taking a walk in the woods. There's no danger to us."

"You've been different lately." She stated. I turned to my left to look at her face. She didn't appear afraid, just determined.

Beverly Katz knew.

I swung the flashlight to her head and she moved just in time. In the precious few seconds it took to pull out my gun, Beverly had gone out of view. I didn't want to pick up the flashlight as she could use that time to attack me. I doubt she'd kill me since she thought too much for that.

"I've been myself!" I yelled out. Turning around I tried to think of where she would go. I once knew her as a friend and I could empathize with anyone. That is why I would be the one to win this fight.

Upon realizing that I couldn't hope to find her without the flashlight, I bent down and she kicked my side. I rolled over and pulled out my knife as my gun left my hand. I preferred a knife anyways. Better to slice open necks with.

I pretended to hesitate about my decision to kill Beverly so that I would have a more solid plan of attack. I couldn't rely on surprise any longer.

"I'm trying to help you, Will!" Beverly said as she pointed her gun at me. Not at my head, but at my shoulder. She wanted to wound me, make sure I wasn't a danger for a long time, and let me be ruled by her.

"You're trying to control me. You're trying to keep me away from Hannibal!" I hissed.

Beverly's look of confusion and wavering of her hands gave me just enough time. I leapt up, pushed her against a tree, and slit her throat.

If I was the man I was before, I'd have thought her last look at me was one of betrayal. But I knew it to be one of regret because she had lost.

I didn't react outwardly to the blood splattering onto my face. It felt refreshing and I felt proud of myself. I had made Hannibal proud and now Alana could be at peace. If Hannibal wanted to continue this form of therapy, I would allow it. It had opened a part of me that I had been afraid of before.

I was free. I was my own design.
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