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JASH
As I walked towards the tent where Tim was, I forced myself to push away thoughts of Alex. It was ours to loathe not being able to lay silently together after making love. I loved embracing his warmth and listening to his heartbeat.
The only thing able to keep me from racing back to Skyrim was the thought that we would spend an eternity together. For an eternity we could heal the wounds caused by this temporary distance between us.
Once I neared the tent I heard Sissel’s laughter. I smiled as it felt like a great burden had been lifted from my shoulders. How could one person be able to have such a healing presence even in the middle of a war?
Tim waved as I entered the tent, the flaps closing gently behind me.
“So?” Tim asked. “What did he say?”
“We have more pressing matters now.” I replied. “It is ours to explain his news to you later. Sissel, stand guard outside the tent. No one is to enter until I am done.”
Sissel nodded and left the tent. I waited a few minutes to make sure no one was about to enter.
“Jash, I need to return to the Dark Place.” Tim said.
“And what do you seek in that plane of Oblivion?” I asked.
“I need to find this red headed woman.”
Having Alex by my side hadn’t been an easy task. I encountered one version of him right after Scouts-Many-Marshes had died and it had taken around nine years to have him join me in Skyrim. But then…the Thalmor had killed him. After that it had taken time and effort to have the version of him that I had now.
None of it had been easy or logical. But my soul had yearned for him nonetheless.
“Is this woman your wife?” I asked.
“I…I don’t know.” Tim answered. “I just know I have to find her.”
Alex Casey had been just another man at the start. And yet there had been such a yearning for him that I defied reality itself in order to have him in my bed. How could I deny another what I had demanded for myself?
The need to help him was dampened by the fact I was in the middle of a war. If I allowed myself such a distraction then all of Tamriel would be lost. This was my home and I would not let it fall into Thalmor hands easily.
“It will be ours to help you, Tim.” I said.
“Thanks.” Tim said with a nervous look in his eyes. “So what do I have to expect? A little nervous, to be honest.”
“It will take a great amount of concentration, willpower, and energy.” I said and felt intense guilt at the hopeful way the dryskin nodded at me. “But, for now, it is ours to save such concentration, willpower, and energy for the war.”
“But you’re some kind of god.” Tim argued. “At least according to Sissel and she didn’t seem to be lying.”
“A minor deity and the youngest one at that. I am immortal and no weapon the Thalmor wield can harm me. But it is not my death that worries me so.”
“Even if you were the only one able to fight you would be able to defeat the Thalmor. So why not help me?”
I didn’t bother to glare at the man as the guilt had already flooded his eyes. This need to find the redheaded woman was driving him close to insanity and yet he was able to pull himself back. He was a good man and would panic yet still find himself able to do the right thing.
If only I could still be like that.
“The Reforged is only a small part of the Imperial army.” I said. “In all the other provinces the greater Imperial army presides and with them many allies. With the Reforged I fight the battles I am needed to. They aren’t always the most important but they always get Tamriel closer to victory against the Thalmor. I may be able to tear the extremists from one Province all on my own which won’t stop their victory over the continent. Wars are never won by one person alone.”
“How long until you win?” Tim asked and ran a hand through his hair.
“It could be days, weeks, months, or even years. If you wish to return to the Dark Place on your own I won’t stop you. But my duties require me to keep my focus on killing every last Thalmor.”
Tim sat while I stood. Both of us enveloped in an intense silence.
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