This chapter has been edited due to content. I did edit a small foreplay scene to only relevant dialogue. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
JORAH MORMONT
The ship rocked gently on the water as I lay on my bed. My cabin was rather small with only a bed and a desk in it. I didn't care because at least I was alive. At least I had survived beyond the Wall. Anything other than death was worth more than gold. The ship rocked a little roughly and I sat up on the bed. The memory of Viserion dying and me nearly falling off Drogon had come back to me in stunning clarity.
Seeing the birth of a dragon was an amazing sight. Seeing the creatures grow up even more so. I had had no doubts that a dragon could die. Even though they were fierce creatures they weren't immortal. The people of Dorne had managed to kill a dragon which more than proved regular people could kill the beasts. Though I knew this I hadn't expected to see a dragon die so quickly. It had only taken one shot by the Night King.
Why hadn't the foul creature gone for Drogon? Had he just wanted to taunt us? Had he wanted to make us despair completely before killing us?
When Drogon had turned to avoid the second spear and I fell off, I hadn't been afraid of dying. I had been afraid of my corpse being turned into a wight. The Night King might have used me to frighten Daenerys to the point of inaction. If I had died I would have been used to harm the woman I loved. A woman I would do anything to make happy.
That's what I had feared when I thought I was going to die. The relief I had felt when I was safely on Drogon's back was without description.
"Khaleesi." I said as I stood up.
Daenerys had quickly opened and shut the door before rushing into my arms. I was not dressed to meet anyone as I had only the faintest hints of clothing as that was comfortable to me. This meant I felt her tears clearly the moment the first one hit my chest.
"Khaleesi," I said and she looked at me. "You are alive as am I."
Her eyes were flooded with tears and her cheeks were wet. I knew why she was so sad and wished I could take away her sadness. When Viserion had died it felt like I had lost a child. It felt like I had lost a friend. To Daenerys I knew the feelings of loss were stronger and even more painful than my own. That mine were feelings of extreme joy compared to hers.
"Yes, we are alive." Daenerys said without joy. "He's going to use him, isn't he?"
She had figured it out like I had: the Night King was going to bring Viserion back to life.
"I'm going to have to kill my child, aren't I?" Daenerys said.
"Yes, you will." I said and had to force the words through my lips. "And by killing Viserion you will get vengeance on his killer."
"Jon is Viserion's killer and the one that will allow me to get vengeance for my child."
Jon had fought too long and had made us stay longer than we had to. If we had only been so callous as to leave him, Daenerys' child would still be alive. Even if Jon was not part of some plan, neither myself or my love could stand innocent blood on our hands. If given the same choice I would have done the same, though I was unsure Daenerys would retain her morals in such an instance of pain. If I was being honest with myself, she wouldn't restrain herself and I didn't know if I would want to stop her.
Daenerys leaned up and kissed me. I could feel the pain in it. I kissed her back trying to give her hope but knew that my own kiss contained my pain. She ran her fingers through my beard as our kisses deepened. Both of us wanting to lose ourselves in any semblance of pleasure. Viserion would never come back to us but at least we could push the pain to the back of our minds.
I lifted Daenerys up and she wrapped her legs and arms around me. Yes, this was the pleasure we needed. I bit her neck and was rewarded with a low moan. I threw her down onto my bed as I felt more than excited by the sound she had made. For a brief moment the pain was off our faces.
"No, Daenerys." I said as the moment passed. "We wouldn't be able to keep quiet."
"I could." She lied.
"You can't lie to me, my love."
"The plan."
She looked angry at the phrase and I could understand. The plan had cost her a child and part of her happiness. She gave me a brief kiss and look before she got off me. That action and look had said more than words ever could. They had reassured me that she didn't blame me for Viserion's death and that she would never hate me for it. She had also agreed to the plan that had cost her a child.
"Jon is a good man." I told Daenerys. "But he is stupid and naive."
"Are you defending him, Ser Jorah?" Daenerys asked with a small grin on her face.
"I am not defending all of his actions but asking that you don't punish him for Viserion."
"And you think I would?"
"I do not know."
"Neither do I."
We shared a parting kiss and then I shut the door. My queen didn't know how far she would go to get revenge for her child. I would be stronger than I felt for her.
* * *
The ride to King's Landing was mostly silent. I stayed in my room a majority of the time. Other times I was in meetings. One of which I convinced Daenerys to ride in on Drogon so as to cause a spectacle. It was clear that Jon and the others thought that I was being jealous. I didn't care as that worked for the plan.
"Aren't you usually inside?" Missandei asked and I turned.
I was on the bow of the ship and had been lost in my own thoughts. The warm weather made me feel the cold harshness of life beyond the Wall. It made me think of the dead which made me think of Viserion. His final cry as he died had been near impossible to hear.
"And usually it is Tyrion who talks to me." I told her.
"He seems to be more concerned with other things nowadays." Missandei replied. "I never thought I would be with a queen going to King's Landing. I never thought that I would be free from slavery."
"I never thought I would see Westeros again."
Missandei and I smiled at each other for a brief moment. We had been spending more time together and I worried that she was attracted to me. She might be polygamous or Grey Worm not having a **** was bothering her more than she let on. It would be a good cover to be her lover but not fair to her. Using Jon was done so for Daenerys' seat on the Iron Throne. ******* Missandei did not further any plans.
"Did you ever have any children?" Missandei asked as we both looked at the horizon.
"No." I replied. "My first wife tried to give me children six times. She died in the final attempt."
"I want a child but Grey Worm..."
I wanted to tell her that Grey Worm's worth was more than what he could provide. I wanted to tell her that she didn't need a child to be someone. Yet I was silent as I didn't know her that well to say such things. I also didn't know why she was telling me this. It could be that she wanted to be with me to get a child or else she wanted to use me to become pregnant. If it was a one time affair, it wouldn't be immoral. I wouldn't be using her and she would get a child.
"I know I'll never have one with Grey Worm and I don't blame him for that." Missandei said, breaking the silence. "What happened to him before was beyond his control. I can't blame him for a hard childhood that nearly robbed him of everything."
"Grey Worm has lost much." I told her. "Why are you telling me this? You were never this open with me in Essos."
Missandei didn't answer and I swear that her dark skin found a way to blush. So she did want me as a lover. Her eyes looked at me and now I could identify the look that seemed strange to me before. She desired me and yet was afraid to say it. I wondered if I kissed her now that she would want to be ******. Or did she want things to go slow?
I put a hand on her shoulder and she looked at me. Her breathing had increased and I could tell the signs of desire on her. I could read them as if they were screaming at me. I leaned my head down and she leaned her head away from mine. I resumed my former position.
"I'm not...I don't..." Missandei said and sounded guilty.
"I don't know if I want you either or if I'm thinking of Daenerys." I half-lied.
I hoped that she would take my hesitation as meaning I was *****. That I needed to **** and yet was still able to restrain myself. I didn't think she would know I had merely been testing the waters to see what she really wanted.
"I need to go." Missandei said with a soft smile on her face.
I nodded and she left.
* * *
Everyone was more than excited once we had reached King's Landing. I think it had more to do with the fact that they were finally able to get off the ship than the actual destination. Jon walked passed me off the ship with Ghost by his side. For a brief moment the direwolf just looked at me as he walked passed.
Jon had recovered greatly and appeared strong once again. It seemed like the adventure beyond the Wall hadn't affected him in the slightest. He was a good leader to hide any pain he felt. He walked with assurance as if he knew what he was going to do at every second of the day. I knew that was a lie as no one felt that calm.
"I missed your scowl." Tyrion said as he walked up to me. "If only I hadn't been so busy I could've seen it more."
"Too busy for me to return the coin." I replied as we left the ship.
"That coin helped you survive the dead, I think you should keep it."
"I didn't think you believed in such superstitions."
"Now that the dead walk, I am reevaluating my life."
Even though the words were somber there was a smile on his face. I turned as I heard someone behind me. Missandei then started walking beside me. She kept her distance as if she were shy and yet was still interested. Tyrion could tell that he should go and leave us. Before he left, though, he gave me a look as if I were an idiot.
I didn't know what was happening but if Missandei was deciding to leave Grey Worm...it would not be good to be hated by an Unsullied. I had done many foolish things in my life but getting in a fight with Grey Worm was beyond any of my previous follies.
JON SNOW
I had heard about King's Landing but I had never expected to go there. After I had left for the Night's Watch I hadn't expected to leave the Wall. Yet here I was walking through King's Landing to go to the Dragonpit so I'd have an audience with Queen Cersei Lannister. The same queen that had had my father executed. Ned had been more than honorable which meant I had a lot to live up to. Especially now that I was both head of House Stark and King of the North. Former king of the North.
Sansa would not be pleased about my decision.
"Still worried about Ghost?" Tyrion asked as he walked beside me.
"You and Davos were right on the matter." I replied sadly. "Ghost would just be a distraction."
"Now if only you made that decision while on the ship. It would have saved both of us a lot of trouble."
I couldn't tell if Tyrion was joking with me or being serious. At times it was more than hard to tell what the Imp was feeling. There were points that I thought he was merely using humor to hide any of the pain. Daenerys and I did the same thing with our faces as we were leaders. Jorah...I didn't know what secrets lay behind his face. I knew they weren't harmful to Daenerys or myself. I was more certain of that ever since we had gone beyond the Wall together.
Tyrion gave me a slight bow of his head and then went away from me. I didn't mind as it gave me more time to get lost in my thoughts. Thoughts that wanted to drive me mad as the fear set in. When Daenerys married me, as I was more than certain she would, I would have to live here. The warm weather was unnerving to me as it was unlike the North. The North, even on a warm day, still had a chill in the air. The warmth here would take some getting used to.
I wondered how Sansa had endured it. Maybe the terrors she had encountered here had distracted her enough to not focus on the weather. I wondered how my father could stand being here, even if he had come down here for a friend.
The Dragonpit was in ruins and yet was still a sight to be seen. It had originally been used to house the dragons of House Targaryen while it now held nothing. Nothing except the people that were quickly gathering. When Cersei came I felt as if I should take out Longclaw and kill her now. The only thing that stopped me was the thing standing behind her and my own honor code.
Cersei walked arrogantly as if she were the true queen of Westeros. Her eyes seemed as though there was nothing kind or gentle behind them. How Jaime could stand being with such a woman was a mystery. Yet here he was walking beside her and having no doubt in his eyes. I had no words for her right now.
"Where is Daenerys?" Cersei asked after a short time. "She should be here by now."
Jorah stood apart from everyone and looked to the sky. Even though it was his idea, most likely to keep me away from her, he was nervous. I didn't know why he was afraid as there was nothing, save the Night King, that could harm her now. A stray arrow could shoot her down but anyone who would dare was now in the Dragonpit and in agreement not to attack each other. But it was nerve-racking waiting for my love.
I did my best to look stoic and regal. No one, except mine and Daenerys' men, knew that I was no longer King of the North. Until I married her I would be Warden of the North. Yet I still had to act as a king as that's what they would expect. If I acted like anything less there would be questions that might interfere with Tyrion's plan.
"Brienne said that Sansa sent her." Davos said as I walked over to him.
"Littlefinger is causing problems in the North." I guessed. "He must have completely taken over my sister's mind for her to send her means of protection away."
"I have known people like him. A mere sword won't stand a chance against him. His kind take wit and planning to take down."
"Let's hope Sansa has a plan."
I suspected that Sansa had some plan, but I was unsure if it was going to work. Sending Brienne away would show to Littlefinger that he had won. I had to believe that Sansa had sent Brienne away to make Littlefinger less cautious than before. I had to believe my sister had a plan and that she wasn't being suicidal.
If not for the tension, I would say that the Dragonpit had become a place of boredom. Bronn had taken Podrick away earlier which had been the most exciting thing to happen in awhile. The Hound had also threatened Cersei's guard which had also been somewhat exciting. If not for my worry that all this effort was for nothing, I would have been in danger of falling asleep.
Suddenly the sound of dragons filled the air. Rhaegal circled the Dragonpit while Drogon flew down. It was amazing to see the beast climb so that a beautiful creature could get off of him. Daenerys acted as if getting off her dragon was nothing. Her motions were fluid as she made her way onto the ground. Drogon looked at everyone before taking off.
My love walked as if nothing bothered her. She took her place which was beside Jorah. I would have sat beside her but I had something to do.
"You're late." Cersei said as if she was unimpressed.
Daenerys refused to give Cersei the satisfaction of an answer. She then turned to me and I felt more afraid than when I had faced the dead. I couldn't disappoint her. This plan had cost one of her dragons their lives and if it failed...it wouldn't fail. It couldn't fail.
Words came out of my mouth but I hardly focused on them. I was preparing myself to see the wight that had been captured. The wight that would be the proof needed to show that the dead were real. Proof that would show Cersei that she had something to fear. And fear the wight she did. She clutched her belly as the dead thing came for her. For the first time her calm demeanor had broken. Good, the plan was working.
"That is a wight." I said and walked over to it. "There are three ways of killing it."
I picked up a hand that had fallen off and showed it to those gathered around. I hoped the ease of killing the wight wouldn't dissuade people from seeing it as a threat. Their true power lay in being in a group. All the wights gathered around the island had been impenetrable. A single wight, though, was more than easy to kill.
"You can burn it." I said and lit its broken off hand on fire with my torch. "Or you can use either dragonglass or Valyrian steel."
I walked over to the writhing wight and looked at it for just a moment. It looked angrily at me and I wondered for a brief moment if the Night King could see me. I stabbed it through where its heart would be. I hoped the Night King had seen me. Hoped he had seen everyone in the Dragonpit and knew that its final days were coming.
Cersei had her calm demeanor back and didn't seem to be bothered by the wight. I hoped that her sense of calm was merely her way of hiding how disturbed she was. I hoped that seeing this thing would help show her that it would be more than foolish to attack Daenerys until later.
"Can those things swim?" Euron Greyjoy asked angrily.
"No, they can't swim." I replied.
"Then I'm going to take my fleet and hole up on the Iron Islands. I'll let you deal with this."
"Euron, we had a deal!" Cersei yelled angrily as the man walked away.
Minutes passed by as Cersei watched a once loyal ally walk away. It shouldn't have surprised her that Euron had abandoned her. The man had a reputation to him and being trustworthy was not one of his known traits. He was arrogant and forceful. There had been no signs of Yara Greyjoy yet and I wondered if he had decided to rape her for his own amusement. I couldn't rescue her now as there were other things to consider.
"I will stop my feud with you for the time being." Cersei said after a few minutes. "This threat of the dead is the more important issue. I will send troops for you to use against this threat. I will do this as long as you stop your fighting with me. The only one here I do trust to make sure Daenerys follows through is King Jon Snow. Eddard Stark was the most honorable person in Westeros and his bastard son has lived up to that expectation. Jon, will you bend the knee to me?"
I considered my options. Bending the knee to Cersei now would ensure us that she would follow through what she had proposed. I was under no illusion that she wouldn't betray us. But any bit of peace would be good for the war against the dead. However, I still wanted to impress Daenerys. I still wanted to show her how much I loved her.
"I can only serve one queen, Cersei," I told the Lannister. "And I have already bent the knee to Daenerys Targaryen, the true queen of Westeros."
Cersei glared at me but I didn't flinch. She stood up and I could feel all eyes on me. I turned to see Jorah with his usual scowl and Daenerys looking stoic. I looked back at Cersei. Even though she was evil, she could at least hold her composure.
"Then this meeting is through." Cersei said. "I will not send you troops nor support you in this war against the dead."
She left and there was silence. Tyrion glared at me and he seemed like a much bigger man than he was. A man that had the means and skills to kill me if he wanted to.
"Well, now we're ******." Tyrion said. "If Jon had decided to withhold certain things, we would have my sister's support by now."
"I'm not going to swear an oath I can't uphold. When enough people make false promises, words stop meaning anything. Then there are no more answers, only better and better lies." I lied and hoped they believed me.
"I'll go talk to her and see if I can patch things up." Tyrion said and walked away.
Daenerys looked at me angrily and I could tell I would be the victim of her wrath soon. It was frightening to even glimpse this side of her. To a person like Cersei it was understandable, but I was on my love's side. I knew she would calm down, it wasn't like lovers never quarreled, but it was hard staying strong right now.
Jorah looked at me and then didn't pay us any mind. It was as if he were hoping Daenerys would tear me apart. That she would see I was not worth her time and then go back to him. But that wouldn't happen. He was a fool to even hold out hope that his dreams would be fulfilled. Sometimes we loved people but they didn't love us back. Sometimes we were put in situations where being with the one we loved was an impossibility. In those times we had to accept the truth and move on.
DAENERYS TARGARYEN
Jon had done something more stupid than I had imagined possible. After so willingly going beyond the Wall I thought that was the extent of his stupidity. I had been wrong. He had just risked the point of the entire plan to get a wight just so he could impress me. There was no doubt in my mind that was the reason for his actions. All the men that had ever sought me had done stupid things and so I could recognize the reasons behind Jon's actions.
There had been doubts in my mind about using Jon for this plan. Usually I worried about the moral implications of deceiving such an innocent person. More and more I was starting to doubt his ability to rule. I had done foolish things in my past but only because I hadn't had experience. Jon had experience of leading his man. Of making people follow him as if he weren't a bastard. Yet here he was telling Cersei some words merely to try and impress me.
I looked toward Jorah for a moment to get his opinion on the matter. He didn't seem happy at all about the turn of events and I understood why. He had risked his life to protect the plan and now Jon might've made his efforts more than useless. A brief expression on his face showed what he felt. He hated what Jon had done and yet it wouldn't do to risk alienating the man. The plan would still be in motion.
"You risked all of our lives for that?" I asked as I looked back at Jon. "But you are right. If we start lying now then when does it stop? When do the lies end?"
My look at Jorah had lasted a flicker of a moment and Jon didn't notice. All he seemed to notice was that his action wasn't going to end our relationship. He was a good looking man and having sex with him wouldn't be without enjoyment. I imagined he was very much looking forward to that part. Now it all depended on whether or not he had gotten over what had stopped him earlier.
"I'm glad you understand." Jon said and it sounded like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders.
I stayed with Jon as there wasn't much for either of us to do until Tyrion returned. I wanted to be with Jorah and to find some comfort in this strange place. For years I had dreamed of returning here and yet now...now I felt different. It was different than I had expected it to be as I wasn't a proud conqueror at all. Any talent I had was left in Essos. Had winning so many victories dulled me? What had changed?
At first I just walked with Jon and neither of us said anything. In his mind I guessed he thought I was merely enjoying his company. In my mind I was just doing something that wouldn't worry the others or arouse suspicions about my goal to marry the former King of the North. I was a leader and had to reassure the others I knew what I was doing, even if that was far from true. Even if that was a blatant lie.
Jon and I found ourselves in an area where we were hidden from view. He looked at me. In another man it would've seemed as if he were thinking of me as mere meat, in Jon's eyes it looked as if he were worshipping a goddess. That look from him made me feel more than guilty. What I was doing was necessary and maybe one day I would explain myself to him. Explain that when you play the game of thrones, you can't stay pure. You have to make decisions that mar your name. You do it all so things will be better. You do it to set things right.
Though I didn't know if the son of the honorable Ned Stark would even begin to understand.
"You've said you can never have children." Jon said. "But you've never explained why."
"When Khal Drogo was dying, I asked a witch for help." I explained. "The witch cursed my womb and ended up killing my child. She said that I would never have another child."
Death pays for life, though. Viserion had died which meant something else would be given life. Would it be me who would be given life? The life of a child I could hold in my arms? A child that would be the heir to House Targaryen?
Maybe that was true but that would mean finding pleasure in the death of one of my children. That idea sickened me to my core. I might not be the purest person, but I did have lines I wouldn't cross. Lines that would mean the end of me if I were to cross them. Thinking that the death of one of my children was a fair trade for a human child was one of those lines.
"Did you ever stop to think that the witch might be lying?" Jon replied.
"You might be right." I said hopefully, though I didn't believe him.
As I looked at him I realized how long it had been since I felt Jorah's touch. My **** cried out for Jorah yet I couldn't give them my sweet bear. But I could give them Jon. I made sure that we were far enough from view and I kissed Jon. Whatever had stopped him before wasn't doing so now. He kissed me with such passion that I was pressed up against a wall.
"Can you be quiet?" Jon asked and I nodded.
Jon kissed me again with a passion that made me realize ******* him instead of Jorah would be fine at times.
"My king..." I breathed to urge him on.
"I'm not a king." Jon replied.
"When I marry you, you will be. You will be my king and together we will defeat the Night King."
Somehow he managed to pull up my dress just enough. As he struggled to get his **** free I heard footsteps. I turned and saw Jorah. We talked in a few brief glances. He was more than happy that whatever had bothered Jon was not a problem anymore. He also disagreed with my choice of location as someone could walk by as he had. I showed him that I agreed but that it had been so long since I had felt him I had acted foolishly. He replied that at least only he had caught sight of us. I told him that it would suit things more if he discovered us.
"Khaleesi," Jorah said shocked and Jon jumped.
I pretended to be more than embarrassed. I made a big deal of making sure that my dress was all the way down. We both waited until he decided to leave us alone. The moment he did I was right back in Jon's arms. We looked at each other and then down. I was now ******* than before and I could tell that the bastard felt the same.
"We shouldn't have done that." I said and Jon nodded.
"I don't know what overtook me." Jon replied and put his hands on my hips. "You're so beautiful."
"You have to be careful when you play with fire, Jon."
Our kissing was interrupted when we heard commotion. We both walked out to see Cersei arriving with her entourage again. The Lannister felt evil and yet she was good at what she did. She had managed to destroy the Sept of Baelor without having the people rebel. She had put such fear in them that it was admirable. When Ser Davos had returned, he had come back with both Gendry and news about the Sept.
"I have reconsidered my prior decision." Cersei said with a regal sound in her voice. "I will help you, Daenerys Targaryen, by sending you the troops you need to win this war. After the dead are gone we will resume our war."
"That is acceptable, Cersei Lannister." I replied. "We are more than grateful for your help."
Cersei then walked away from us and Tyrion came into view. I wondered what he had said to make her change her mind. He was the little brother that she hated beyond reason. There was no reason that she should listen to him. Yet she had. The threat of the dead must have truly frightened her to make her side with me, at least for now. I was sure the next battle we had would be over her betrayal. I was sure she would make certain the dead were gone first and use means without honor to kill me.
"You did well, Tyrion." I told him.
"My sister can be very stubborn at times." He replied with a small bow. "But she is able to see reason."
"Do you think she will betray us?"
"Most certainly. But she won't risk her child. If she is being honest on that point."
If Cersei was pregnant there was no possibility I would kill her until after the pregnancy. I would not kill a child, even if it was Cersei's child. But maybe she was lying to keep herself safe. If that was the case, I could kill her without guilt. We would just need to wait to see if she showed any signs of pregnancy.
"How will you travel to Dragonstone, your grace?" Jon asked.
"Drogon is the safer choice." Jorah replied quickly. "Even though Cersei has promised to let us go freely, I wouldn't put it past her to take an easy opportunity to kill Daenerys."
Jorah's comment was all about pretending to be jealous. Jon's comment was asking me to sail back to Dragonstone so we could fuck. I was still feeling the need to find release, even if it was by the bastard's cock. Yet thoughts were in my head that I wanted to deal with alone. Thoughts that I wouldn't be able to think about properly for some time after arriving on Dragonstone. It would be a rare occurrence that I'd be alone. Even after the war I would be keeping Jon pleased and my affair with Jorah a secret.
"I agree with Ser Jorah." I decided to the shock of Jon. "It would not do well for me to die before the Night King is dead."
I walked to where I had gotten off of Drogon and soon my son came to get me. Climbing up on him had gotten easier and I was able to get on his back in under a minute. I looked at the people down below as they became smaller and smaller. In the peacefulness of the sky with only Drogon and Rhaegal as companions, I was able to breathe. I was let go of every worry that had bothered me on the ground.
Using Jon was wrong and yet I needed the Iron Throne. I needed the North. Without the North I would only have six kingdoms and not seven. I needed to reclaim all of what had been taken from my House. Jorah had come up with a good plan of using Jon's heart against him. That was wrong but a good plan. It was one thing to gain the loyalty of a man through your looks, it was quite another thing to win his heart.
As Jorah had shown me, if you control a man's heart you control him completely.
Would I have done this if it was Jorah's heart I had to fool? No. I would never harm him like that after all I had already done to him.
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