This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
Today was the day. The hour had come. Nervousness was making me poetic it seemed. Could I be blamed for worrying so much about an event that had never before happened in my life? An event I had never dreamed would ever be in my future? How many women had I turned away before I become enchanted by Emilia Clarke?
"So this is happening." I said and looked to make sure my girlfriend wasn't close enough to hear.
"Unless you don't want it to." Peter replied with an exaggerated wink.
Kit just shook his head as if he was amused by our reactions. Only the three of us and a few crew members knew that I was about to propose to Emilia. I had been aware Dan and Dave had allowed room for me to propose to my love with the cameras rolling, but I hadn't been aware that it would be this perfect until a few days ago. It had taken all of my strength to hide all my nervous excitement for this day. This time. This hour.
"You remember what the plan is, Iain?" Kit asked.
"Yeah," I replied. "The scene will be normal up until I'm to take her hands and kiss them. Instead of doing that I'll go on one knee, a crew member will bring me the engagement ring, and I'll propose to Emilia."
It was such a simple plan and yet it felt impossible. Was I really just going to casually say my lines and then surprise Emilia with a proposal? Could that really be done? What if I did or said something that clued Emilia in on what was actually happening? The sun on the beach seemed like it was going to melt me and I'd blend in with the sand only to be washed away with the waves.
I took a few deep breaths to calm myself. With a few deep breaths the world solidified around me. This would work. It had to work. I loved her and wanted to give her a remarkable proposal and this was the way to do it.
"I'll be sure to run and get water if you pass out." Peter said with a sly grin on his face.
"Iain won't pass out." Kit retorted. "He's not the first man to propose to a woman."
"And I bet you were elegant when you proposed to Rose."
"If I stumble over a few words I doubt Emilia will mind." I said to myself more than the other two. "She'll probably find it cute."
"That's the spirit." Peter said and gave me two thumbs up and walked away.
I wanted him to come back because that meant there was more time until I propose to Emilia. What if she said no? If she laughed it would be better than letting me down gently. What would it mean if she didn't want to be married to me? Did it mean that our love went beyond a simple ceremony and legal forms? Or would it mean something else?
It was a blessing that I had never fallen in love before and so never had to propose to a woman. How the hell had Peter and Kit composed themselves so that their respective wives said yes? I didn't have months left to figure out what to say. I just had to trust that Emilia would appreciate the gesture and say yes.
"You nervous?" Kit asked me and I nodded. "I don't blame you. All of us were freaking out before proposing to our wives."
"What do I do if she says no?" I worried.
"Why is it that everyone but you knows that she will say yes?"
"Because none of them will be the one asking her. I will."
Kit was right, of course. Of course Emilia would say yes as if she could ever say no. Our relationship had only encountered minor bumps and we never had had a major fight. No news outlets had caught me abusing her or us getting into a heated argument. When I had risked my life to protect her everyone had realized that my love for Emilia was powerful. How many other lovers would sacrifice themselves for the other?
"You need to stop being so pathetic." Kit said. "If you pass up this chance then you're going to regret it for the rest of your life. What if she leaves you because she finds out you backed out of proposing to her? What if since you didn't propose she goes to find someone who will? Could you really see her with someone else after you nearly died for her?"
"I know. I know." I replied and held back a groan. "I'm not going to back out of this. It's jut...I'm just so nervous. How did you prepare to propose to Rose?"
"Honestly, I can't remember. I just know I did. I also remember it being one of the scariest moments in my life."
"What are you boys up to?" Emilia asked and I turned to look at her.
Years from now she would be able to look at pictures from when I proposed to her and know she was the most beautiful she could ever be. Though her looks would've been improved by her natural hair. I focused on her to calm myself so I didn't give anything away.
"Boy stuff." I replied with a wink.
"Oh?" Emilia asked. "Is it the same boy stuff that's been making you nervous for the last few days?"
"Iain is involved with a Dave and Dan prank." Kit interjected.
"Really?"
"Yeah." I replied.
"And you can't tell me, why?"
"Because I don't want to ruin the surprise before it's time."
"Does it involve me?"
"No it doesn't. I just want your reaction to be genuine."
Emilia didn't look like she believed me but at least I'd only have to avoid her questions for just awhile longer. Ever since that one night she had never stopped trying to get the truth out of me. It had been hard coming up with enough lies to hide the truth. Once my girlfriend turned her back to me for a moment I gave Kit a silent thanks for helping me out.
"Places!" The director shouted and I was saved from Emilia's questions.
As we all took our places I tried to keep myself calm so I didn't give Emilia anymore reasons to question me. The scene that was being filmed was almost metaphorical to my proposal to Emilia. My character was about to leave to almost certain death and this might be the last time he was able to see Emilia's character. To me Emilia refusing my proposal would be akin to killing me. So I, too, was going towards what could be death.
Before my mind could wander too far from the moment, I focused on my lines. Even though this wasn't the take that would find its way into the show, Emilia couldn't know that. She couldn't guess that the proposal was now mere minutes away. Each forced breath from my lungs brought us closer to me asking if she would be my wife.
Both of us didn't like that our characters hadn't gotten together this season which meant it was unlikely they ever would. Instead Jon and Dany were the romantic couple of the season while Jorah was a very weak part of the love triangle. Though it would most likely turn out I'd have to lie about there ever being a love triangle after this season. That's how poorly my character was being treated.
I focused on one line and then the other. I focused on one second and then the next. I focused on being Jorah Mormont rather than myself to make sure I wouldn't mess this up. And when Emilia was supposed to grab my hands I felt as though there was a great boulder on my chest. If I messed up the chance would be over. Of course there would be another chance to propose to her, but no chance would be as perfect as now. I had to do this now. I couldn't turn back now.
Just as Emilia's fingers were inches away from grabbing mine, I knelt in front of her. She nearly fell over in shock and I put both my hands on my knee. It took all my strength not to grip hard enough to turn my knuckles white. In her eyes there was the faintest signs she had now figured out what was going on.
After a few minutes I heard a crew member walk up to me and I held out my hands for the box. Once the woman had walked a few feet back I held out the box to Emilia. One hand was on the top and the other on the bottom. This position made it so I'd be able to easily open the box.
"Emilia Clarke," I began and she covered her mouth with her hands. "Before you I didn't know why people fell in love. All I could see was one conquest after another. It never occurred to me that I'd find anyone that would make me never want to seek out another. You changed that. You brought something new into my life that I don't want to let go of."
I took a deep breath so that I could continue the proposal. It had already started which meant I had crossed the point of no return. Listening to the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore and the cliffs calmed me just enough.
"There are so many things about you that I can't live without." I continued. "The way you smile always makes me feel happy. My mornings are never complete without waking up next to you. I should have kissed you sooner than I did. I could have experienced the bit of heaven you now bring to me everyday sooner."
If she said no how could I ever wake up without her by my side? How could I come to terms without her being the first thing I saw in the morning? I would learn how to, of course I could, but my womanizing ways were now long behind me. I couldn't go from conquest to conquest again, I would need to find the same kind of love I had with Emilia. Our love couldn't be replicated. Could it?
"You are everything to me, Emilia." I said. "You are the sun in the day and the stars in the night. You are my happiness and the only one worth dying for. You are the one that gives my life any meaning. No matter how this show turns out, it will be my favorite because it's where I met you. When we started filming I never expected to find someone like you."
Only a few more breaths and I'd have my answer. If she refused I didn't know what would happen next. Would we continue to live without being married? But she had seemed disappointed when I had refused to consider marriage before. If she said no it probably meant the end of our relationship. I now had no choice but to take that chance.
"Emilia Clarke," I said and opened the box to reveal the engagement ring. "I ask you with all the love in my heart: will you marry me?"
I had memorized the ring perfectly so I was able to focus solely on my love's eyes. She seemed nearly mesmerized by the dragons with diamonds for eyes that were so similar in color that they blended in with the rest of the ring. This ring was the best way I could express my love for her in a way that went beyond sex. It would be a reminder of not only our love, but of where we met. A tear went down her cheek and I hoped it was for happiness.
Now that I had said my part, it was time to wait for her reply. Each heartbeat seemed to last lifetimes as I waited for her to say yes or no. The anticipation felt like a knife that was slowly going through my chest until it found its way to my heart. I wanted to yell at her to make up her mind but figured that would not give me the result I wanted. So I remained silent.
"Of course!" Emilia shouted and her hands practically jumped off of her face. "I mean yes. Yes."
She had said yes!
I stood up and threw the box down after taking the ring from it. She held out her left hand while barely standing still. Since she was moving so much it was hard getting the ring on her finger. I smiled widely once it was on and she held up her hand to better look at it. Her eyes went from the ring to my face and back. If happiness hadn't rendered me mute I would have been laughing wildly.
In my whole life there had been no moment happier than this one. The only other time that would rival this one was our wedding. A wedding that I would let Emilia have fun planning. It would be her day and damn anyone that tried to make it all about them. Tears of joy went down Emilia's cheeks and I wiped one away with my thumb. Her head bent up towards mine and her lips were too tempting to deny.
Her arms went around my neck as our kiss deepened. Our kisses now were more passionate than any previous time. They were a conversation and a song that only we could hear. They were Emilia saying she didn't mind me hiding this from her. They were me telling her that I was sorry for waiting for so long. They were a way for us to express our love without words.
As our kisses slowly became less passionate, I remembered where we were and what the faint sound in the background was. Emilia and I immediately stopped kissing and turned to look at those around us. Peter and Kit were near the front of the group of cast and crew. The crew that had known about my proposal in advance had their cameras out and were taking pictures. I was embarrassed as I should've remembered to held myself back. A brief look at Emilia showed she hadn't minded at all.
Emilia stood by my side and put an arm around my waist. I put an arm around her shoulders to help pull her closer to me. The anticipation to ask Emilia to marry me had been more than painful. But now that she had said yes there was not a better feeling in the world. No matter what the future brought we would face it head on.
Another glance at Kit gave the man enough time to give me a wink. I winked right back at him. He had helped make this proposal possible. He had helped hide the surprise from Emilia. He would have to be invited to the wedding.
After a few more minutes the director had all of us get back to our jobs. Emilia's engagement ring was given to a crew member until the end of filming for the day. If it got lost the person would be fired or something worse if I could manage. My fiance's day would not be ruined for anything.
The rest of filming was full of energy from the proposal. It seemed to make everyone much more willing to go above and beyond to get things perfect for the show. It was easier for me to get into Jorah's shoes and to believe he truly loved Dany with all his heart.
"It's perfect, Iain." Emilia said as she put her engagement ring back on.
"Some of us are going to a pub to celebrate." Liam said as he walked up. "It wouldn't make sense if the two idiots getting married didn't come."
"Of course we'll be there." I replied with a brief glance at Emilia to make sure she wanted to go.
It took a little time to get all our makeup and costumes off. During that time I repeated where the celebration would take place. I was just glad that I didn't have any prosthetics as that would have made it even longer until work officially ended for the day. After I was back in my normal clothes, Emilia was waiting for me at our rented car.
"So that's what you were hiding from me." Emilia said with a laugh as we started to drive to the pub. "What happened to our relationship not needing to be legalized?"
"I was afraid to ask." I replied with a grin on my face. "Something was holding me back from asking but I got over my fear. I'm glad I did."
"How many people knew you were going to ask?"
"Before a few days ago just Lena, Maisie, and Sophie. Plus an employee at the place I got your ring from. I'm surprised she didn't say anything as she really wanted us to get married."
"Once the news gets out, she'll have a story to tell."
"Yeah."
While I didn't like the thought of new rumors, I didn't mind sharing my joy with that woman. Maybe Lily's would have a slew of new customers and that employee would be rewarded for selling Emilia's engagement ring.
"Is this the place?" I asked sarcastically to Emilia.
Of course it was this pub as it had more activity than it usually did. To cement my certainty that this was the right pub, a very drunk Liam came out with a huge smile on his face. This would be a great night for everyone as we all celebrated my engagement to Emilia.
After parking the car I opened the door for Emilia. She took my hand as she got out and shut the door behind her.
"You know, that's what a gentlemen is for, Emilia." I said as we walked to the pub.
"It's good there isn't a gentlemen in sight, then." Emilia replied with a wink.