To Die For You If Need Be Chapter 18: Family Reunion

This is a Game of Thrones fic. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.

Yara Greyjoy

I attempted to open an eye and then shut it again. No one was in the cabin so I didn't have to feign strength. Not that my uncle would give a ****. He would laugh loudly as if I had told a joke. Then he would rape me yet again with even more vigor than usual. My life had become a living torment ever since losing the battle. I had been stupid and full of rage, but it had felt so right to continue the fight in the moment.

After a minute I was able to open one eye. It was sore after the beating it had taken. Though with the sounds he had made, Euron had considered it a game. To him I was nothing but a toy to be played with as he saw fit. If I ever got free I would kill him or die. One way or the other my fight with him would end.

Another minute passed and the other eye opened. The cabin was the only sight I was allowed to see ever since the battle. Like Daenerys had asked, I provided a distraction for Euron. If he had any inclination to go where Ellaria was, they were gone by my arrival. I was his rival and meant more to him than doing Cersei's bidding.

At first I had the upper hand. Or at least I had thought so. Because of that I had gone fully on the offensive. I was not going to miss my chance of killing Euron. If there was one person that should end his life it should be me. He had taken my chances of ruling House Greyjoy. Did he have some otherworldly power or was it the fact I was a woman?

Even though the battle had ended in disaster, it had been a glorious clashing of powers. The weather was on my side and yet Euron had found my weakness. Or maybe my weakness had been obvious to him and he had merely bidden his time.

Any advantage I thought I had was quickly taken away from me. Yet instead of running away I had decided to press my attack even harder. Fighting him soon lost any relation to Daenerys' orders. It had become all about what I wanted. It had become all about killing the uncle that was a stain on the Greyjoy name.

The moment when Euron was moments away from destroying two of my best ships could have been the moment to flee. I would not only be free but able to serve Daenerys. A queen such as her would give me another chance to kill my uncle. Especially as he had decided to ally himself with Cersei.

I moved slightly and tried to figure out which parts of my body hurt the least. It was hard to do as any slight movement brought me into an inferno of pain. But at least the pain was temporary and my mind cleared up quickly. There was also the fact that the pain felt like a good friend as we knew each other so well. By the time he came back I might not be able to feel anything anymore.

Once the pain dimmed, I felt betrayal about Theon's actions. Ever since the torture Ramsay Bolton had inflicted on him, something had been wrong about my brother. Something within him had died and would never return. It hurt me and made me angry at the same time. A part of me had wanted to leave him behind but being his sister made me take him.

It would be wrong to say that there was nothing good about him. Every now and again there was someone worthy of the Greyjoy name standing before me. But during the day of the battle there had been a coward in the place of a Greyjoy. I had rethought ever thinking Theon could prove himself to me one day.

I had said things that now could be our last words together. That is if he had been successful in his attempts to flee. With how Euron mocked me about my brother, it was likely that Theon had returned to Dragonstone. Or maybe he was hiding away from the rest of the world. That would fit such a boy.

If Theon had merely decided to flee it would have been enough. But he had somehow convinced some of our men to flee with him. He had managed to convince them that there was no chance of defeating Euron. The battle had barely begun before he had made the rash decision to flee.

It would be understandable if, in the midst of battle, he had made the decision to retreat. Sometimes the hard decision had to be made to flee instead of fight. The decision made people feel like cowards so it was not done easily. I had never liked making it and never fled without a good reason that I could tell myself.

The moment Theon managed to get an entire ship to flee with him, I felt utterly betrayed. He was no longer my brother in that moment. He had stopped being family when he abandoned me. The right thing would have been to fight by my side even if we both died. Death was preferable to running away from a fight.

But Theon had decided to embrace his fear rather than his heritage. He would rather flee the bloodshed of battle than face glorious death. Maybe Ramsay had broken my own blood into something else. Something that was far too cowardly to even be human.

I barely resisted crying out and I didn't know which pain was causing it. It was either the echoes of the torture Euron had inflicted on me or Theon's betrayal. Both wrecked my body each time they passed through. I couldn't let my uncle know just how much Theon's betrayal hurt. Or it could be obvious to everyone. It probably was and the pain just clouded my thoughts more than I thought.

How dare Theon leave me here to die! No. I landed myself in this situation, hadn't I? I had decided to press the attack against Euron harder than I had to. The whole reason for the attack had been to distract my uncle so that Ellaria could arrive back in Dorne. There had been no reason to try and kill him that day. The only reason I had wanted victory was because I loathed him.

Theon had been right to leave. He had figured out that the battle I wanted couldn't be won that day. Instead of allowing himself to be tied to my fate, he went in search of his own. Maybe if I died, as was seeming more likely each day, he would be a good ruler of House Greyjoy.

I might be giving Theon too much credit. Ramsay had broken my brother to a mere shadow. No, less than a shadow. He had made the right call in the moment, but it had been borne out of fear. He hadn't calculated his move, he had simply ran. Yet I found my anger at him slowly dying down.

He was alive and I was here. I didn't know if Euron would rape or torture me. I could end up the way Theon was. It could be that that fear was making me turn against my brother. I was drowning and attempting to grab everything I could down with me.

If Theon was ever able to calm down, it could be that he would rescue me. He was a good man underneath all his faults. He wanted to become a better man and so would want to rescue his own blood to repay a debt that could never be paid. He had wronged so many but he was still my brother. I still cared for him.

I managed to sit in a position that was comfortable. The pain was now bearable and I found my thoughts coming easier. Euron would come back soon and the torment would continue. But, for now, I was at peace. For a brief moment in time there was nothing to worry about.

Daenerys would have lost her navy with me. I had risked everything just because I wanted vengeance. I had risked Westeros because I wanted to kill my uncle. I was just as foolish as Theon had been. He had let himself be ruled by fear and I had let myself be consumed with vengeance. It was a justified emotion but so was cowardice in certain situations.

I would free myself and kill Euron. Or should I run back to Daenerys? Could I run back to her after losing her a navy? If I did then I would have to bring her back something that was worthy of a queen. Which brought me right back to killing Euron. Doing so would earn her respect, allow myself to rise in power, and keep Westeros safe. It would feel good to finally kill Euron. I wanted to prove to myself that he was just a man. He was powerful but still just a man. I also wanted to remind my uncle of that fact. I wanted that to be the last lesson he ever learned.

My body tensed as I heard Euron's footsteps. It had taken only two days to recognize every sound he made. Every slight breath that left his lips hit my ears. I did my best to relax my body as he couldn't see how afraid I was. He was free to imagine what he wished, but he couldn't have any doubt removed.

When he entered the cabin he looked more angry than usual. I kept my body as relaxed as possible in case he decided to take out his aggression on me yet again. He threw an object in his hands so hard that it shattered on the wall. It must have been a mug as the scent of beer was now thick in the air.

"Fucking Cersei can't ever be pleased!" Euron screamed like a madman. "I will make her take my cock whether she wants it or not. I will have the Iron Throne."

"You could just kill her." I mocked as it was the only way I could cause him any irritation.

"So my young niece wants to lecture me?"

"If you want the Iron Throne you should just take it."

"It's not about conquering the Iron Throne, it's about conquering her."

"Then why not go to King's Landing and rape the *****?"

Euron smacked me hard in the face. I shivered but didn't have any other reaction. His smack had been weaker than usual which must mean he had really been drinking. Dealing with Cersei was taking everything out of him. If things kept declining for him then I could have a moment to kill him.

"If you have such great plans, why did you dare attack me?" Euron spat. "You should have gone with your coward of a brother. Now he was wise to avoid me."

"You didn't have a chance to get your hands on Ellaria and her daughters." I said with forced laughter. "You were blinded by me like planned. Knowing I kept you away from what you wanted is enough. You can kill me now but I know how weak you are."

"She has escaped me for now. But in the future I will have another chance."

"Then why are you so angry?"

His hand stopped inches away from my face. I smirked at the power I had over him. I was tied up but he still cared what I thought. He still wanted me to quake at every little thing he did. But I wasn't a coward to hide away from the possibility of death.

"I can't bring Cersei who she wanted." Euron growled. "But I can bring her an enemy. She will be happy enough with you."

"And how much do you actually believe that?"

"The only weapons you have now are your words. You can't harm me but I can destroy you."

Euron began pacing as he tried to control his anger. It wasn't much but at least I could irritate him. It might not even be that bad if he killed me. Theon wasn't coming to rescue me and I couldn't escape in my current state. My uncle wasn't going to allow me a chance to recover.

"Then why not destroy me?" I mocked.

"Cersei won't want her toy too broken." Euron hissed and punched me in the stomach.

For a moment I couldn't breathe. No matter how much I tried to get air into my lungs, nothing happened. Then, like a miracle, I was able to breathe again. Even though I knew how it looked, I gulped in air like a baby crying out for the first time.

"What if she thinks I'm too broken?" I asked once I could speak again.

"If you can speak you're not too broken." Euron replied with a nasty grin. "All she'll want from you is pain. She doesn't need anything else."

"I don't have to show her anything."

"You're too far gone now. You'll cry out from what she'll do to you until you can't cry anymore. Your final days will be full of only pain."

"Daenerys will burn you alive for this."

"You think I can't deal with one ****?"

"You can't deal with me."

I felt utter terror after saying those words. He could kill me if he lost control. If I said the wrong things my life would be painful and short. While I could pretend I didn't mind the thought of death, now that it was likely I was afraid. I didn't want to die. I didn't want my life to end by his hands. At least not when I was tied up with no way to defend myself.

Euron lifted me up with one hand by the throat. I couldn't help but struggle to get free. There was no way I could win and yet my body was demanding I should. It was embarrassing to have anyone look at me like this. Somehow I managed to snarl and bite his hand. It wasn't hard enough to do anything but make my uncle laugh.

But at least I had done something. At least I had waded through the pain and fear to do anything.

"I had a dog like you once." Euron grinned. "The ***** didn't last long. Never got a dog after her as they're not worth the effort."

I wanted to say something but nothing came out. He just laughed as I struggled. I was just an amusement that he would have to give up soon. It was unlikely that Cersei could dream up ways of torment that could rival his. Or maybe she was even crueler than he was.

At least once I was in King's Landing, death was sure to follow.

"Your **** is perfect." Euron whispered in my ear and a whimper left unbidden from my lips. "Your resistance makes our lovemaking even better. I know some part of you likes it. Some part of you can't wait to feel me again."

I moved as much as I could. I did my best to get away from him even though I knew I couldn't. I didn't care if he laughed at me, I couldn't take him raping me again. That was one indignity I couldn't endure anymore.

"You like me that much?" Euron laughed and let me fall to the floor. "I'm flattered."

Tears came out of my eyes even though I couldn't cry out anymore. I was tied up so that Euron could have his way with me but not enough there was any chance I could escape. And if I managed to leave the cabin? There were always guards to stop me from getting too far.

"I won't fuck you ever again." Euron said and a shiver went down my spine. "If I fuck you again I can't promise that you'll arrive in King's Landing undamaged. I might just accidentally kill you."

"Would that really stop you?" I asked, my voice more ragged than I wanted.

"I want to rule the Seven Kingdoms. Your **** is great but not the most important thing in my life."

If I lured him into killing me, it would mean his alliance with Cersei was over. But the fear of being raped made me stop pursuing the idea quickly. I could not stand the violation happening ever again. If that meant Westeros was ******, so be it.

"I better see to the rest of my men." Euron said. "So I'll leave you for tonight."

He hadn't fed me tonight and I doubted anyone would come up here. No one cared about me. At least not enough to risk death to bring me some comfort. I would have to suffer until morning if he decided to feed me at all, that was. He probably would as he needed to keep Cersei happy with his deeds.

"I'll keep an eye out for Theon." Euron said and then paused as if suddenly thinking about something. "No, he left you for dead. He doesn't care about you. I doubt he cares about anyone. He's a coward that will flee at the first sign of danger. No one is coming to rescue you. After all your attempts at trying to rule House Greyjoy, you will die without renown."

"And after all your attempts to sit on the Iron Throne, you'll end up as just more ashes in the wind." I said.

Instead of talking with me anymore, Euron stormed off and slammed the door behind him. Now there was nothing to keep me company but the sounds of the waves rolling against the ship and the rocking motion.

Theon had never been a strong man, but he had been driven once. He had the ability to charge towards a goal no matter how foolish the initial decision had been. But now he was a shadow of a man.

If he could be driven mad, could that same fate await me?