Lynesse Chapter 24: Despair

This is a Game of Thrones fic. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.

In the chaos I turned to look at Daenerys. I wanted to see her rushing to save everyone she could. There was a kindness in her to melt the most sinful of souls. But that wasn't what happened as there was also another side to her. A side that she had been battling with ever since I knew her. A side that reacted to her trauma with utter brutality. A side that was more than justified but could destroy Westeros as easily as the White Walkers nearly had.

On Daenerys' face there was a smile. It wasn't large, but it showed the joy that my love was experiencing. I wanted to be able to talk her down but there was no stopping her once she made up her mind. In my role as advisor I could only guide her, it was always up to her what decision to make. If it had been up to me she would never have freed the Unsullied and so it was good for her to go against my advice from time to time.

Drogon looked as if here were about to launch himself into the air and Daenerys also had the same lust in her eyes. Our conversations about her wanting to burn King's Landing came roaring back to me. Before there had been something holding her back from fully contemplating making the thought a reality. She cared for people and that had made her stay in the light for so long. But now things had changed.

Now, in Daenerys' mind, Cersei was killing all those innocent people. Which meant Daenerys wasn't the one doing the killing, but why leave Cersei with an avenue to escape? Why not take pleasure in killing those who didn't truly deserve life if they would die anyways? The beast inside Daenerys was finally being let out.

Drogon let out a loud roar just as he took to the skies. I didn't see any surprise on Daenerys' face as she was lost to my sights. A great wound opened up inside of me as I couldn't fully comprehend what had happened. I loved her and knew there was kindness in her. I didn't want to believe that she had succumbed to her darker nature. But to deny that would be to dishonor all those that would die by her hand.

I didn't know how to react to what she had done. She would want all of her followers to slaughter those they could. She would want everyone to rejoice in her bloodlust. But I couldn't allow even more people to die because of her rage. Even if those people would eventually help her destroy Westeros.

There was one thing I knew even as my world burned around me: I could never kill Daenerys or leave her side.

Maybe there was a way to save her even as screams and the scent of burning flesh started to fill the air. I couldn't kill her. I didn't want to kill her. There had to be a way to make her see the terrible crime she was now committing. She had to be made to understand her actions. She could then become the ruler I knew her to be.

"Grey Worm, we need to get out of the city." I said and the men around me stopped moving. "If we stay here we will die."

"I didn't know you to be a coward, Your Grace." Grey Worm retorted and I could feel the loathing in his voice. "Our Queen would want us to continue with the attack."

"I know you want to avenge Missandei, but this is not the way. You will not be honoring her memory by throwing your life away."

The same pain I felt was in his eyes. I understood the need to throw one's life away so the pain could end. So the horrors would finally cease. But I couldn't do that now and Grey Worm didn't deserve to die. It wasn't his fault that our queen was using his pain for her own ends. Even if she didn't realize what she was doing.

"Look at King's Landing." I said and some of the Lannister soldiers quietly made their way out of the city. "Do you think there is any honor in dying here?"

More wildfire went off in the distance and Drogon's fire added to the destruction. The screams were slowly getting louder and getting quieter at the same time. So many were dying and attempting to escape their fates. If the world were to end I think it would look like this. Fire raging through the world leaving nothing alive in its wake. If we left now then we could escape and live to serve our queen another day.

"Cersei has unleashed wildfire which is infamous for its destruction." I said. "On its own there would be no hope for the citizens of King's Landing. With Daenerys raining vengeance through Drogon, no one will escape the city. Not unless we leave now. You and Ghost can lead our men out of the city. You can help ensure that our queen has an army once this city is nothing but ash."

"You're her king and yet you're talking about disobeying orders?" Grey Worm replied accusingly.

"What orders did Daenerys gives us just now? Since the Lannister army surrendered, she has given no orders. All she has done is join in the destruction of King's Landing. She didn't tell any of us to join her."

"How else are we supposed to interpret her actions?"

"We aren't meant to. I am. I am your king and understand Daenerys unlike anyone else alive. To doubt me is to doubt Daenerys herself."

Grey Worm's calm demeanor seemed to be broken. I couldn't spare being kind to him now. Not unless I wanted him and the other men to die. If Daenerys saw her entire army destroyed nothing could save her. She would fly to Winterfell and burn the castle to the ground. I would join her in the conquest.

"I understand." Grey Worm finally agreed. "I will lead our men out."

Ghost moaned and an idea came to me. Daenerys was not beyond saving as there was a way to bring her back to sanity. I would give her Jaime and Cersei Lannister to kill as she wanted. After gaining such vengeance she should be sated enough to see reason. And I would be there to comfort her.

"I will stay in the city." I said. "Daenerys will want to kill Cersei and Jaime Lannister personally. But in her attack, she won't be able to tell who Drogon is killing. She will hope to kill Cersei, but she won't be certain. I want to give her that certainty."

"I will join you." Grey Worm replied. "You will need the protection."

"No one will be focused on attacking me. People's only concern will be to escape the flames."

Grey Worm nodded and went to gather the men. He would make sure most of our army escaped King's Landing. Ghost moaned again and looked at me. He didn't want to leave my side and I could understand why. Jon had told the direwolf to protect me and letting me run into a burning city would go against that order.

"Ghost," I whispered into his ear. "I need to rescue Daenerys and I can only do so by going deeper into the city. R'hllor will protect me as the deity is still in need of my services."

I pet him and he quieted. He knew that this might be the last time he saw me. He was also well aware that we served a monster. He turned and followed Grey Worm to help the Unsullied round up our men. When my companion left my side I felt my despair nearly consume me. But even in this dark moment I knew there was hope.

With Heartsbane firmly in my grasp I rushed through the city. The scent of burning was overwhelming but there wasn't a sign of any flames rushing through the streets yet. But there was destruction like I had expected. Men had their urges and war let them have an excuse not to be tied down to pesky morality.

It seemed that all of the Northerners and some of the Dothraki were brutality killing men and boys. They kept women and girls alive only to rape them. I stopped and made a decision fast. With a swift motion I chopped off the arm of a Dothraki. The sight of their Khal retaliating must have snapped them out of their rage.

"Leave this city or you'll burn!" I yelled and two of the women and one girl managed to limp away to safety. "Leave!"

"You're not our king." A Northerner spat as the Dothraki ran out of the city.

"We follow the same queen."

"We only followed her so that we could tear these Southerners apart."

It was hard to keep color on my face. These Northerners had only followed Daenerys because they saw the beast inside of her. They knew she would lose control and decided to use that to their advantage. It would be best if they all burned and I felt compelled to kill them myself. But it was either get my own vengeance or help my love.

"If you wish to tear more Southerners apart you should allow yourselves to burn." I said. "But if you will return to the North, you should leave now."

Another Northerner spat at me and I continued on my way. Their fate couldn't concern me as I had something more important on my mind now. I could only hope that they died in a painful matter. As I made my way through the winding city, the scent of fire became unbearable. Somehow I managed to avoid Drogon's fire and Cersei's wildfire.

At a certain point it became hard to push against the tide of commoners seeking to flee destruction. A mother with a majority of her body burnt beyond recognition was carrying a burnt corpse of what must have been her child. When I lightly brushed against her, she fell down and was trampled to death by the crowd.

Most of the commoners didn't even notice me in their panic. A few managed to glance at me for a moment before rushing past me. Each time Drogon roared a few commoners ran into a house as if that would protect them.

As I pushed against the tide of commoners I heard a sound. Suddenly all the buildings to my left exploded and everyone I could see was consumed by the flames. In my confusion the only thing I noticed was that Heartsbane was burning brightly.

"It's not your time to die yet." A voice as uncomfortable as Drogon's roar said. "I still have a need for you."

"What need?" I asked but the voice was silent.

Drogon breathed fire by where I stood and I noticed that I no longer felt the heat. R'hllor wanted me to live and I didn't know whether or not to feel grateful. If a god was determined to let me live it couldn't be good. Gods thought of us as their toys.

I rushed through the street and couldn't avoid stepping on the burnt corpses. A few commoners remained alive and I killed them so they wouldn't have to suffer anymore. Heartsbane pierced men, women, and children so their torment passed. When more commoners crashed against me they didn't even show concern about the blood on my blade.

Drogon's fire and Cersei's wildfire both passed harmlessly over me while the commoners were burnt to death. Most were burnt to death while some managed to hang onto life. I found myself rushing into buildings in an attempt to get away from the crowds. I found myself having to stop from helping others. There was no scenario in which any of them could be saved from their fate. It could be even if they survived Daenerys would kill them anyways. In her eyes they weren't innocent.

With Heartsbane held before me, I used my other hand to guide myself through the rubble. The Red Keep had to be close by as no commoners were in sight. Daenerys would only leave this place alone if she couldn't find anyone to burn. Hopefully Jaime and Cersei had managed the impossible so that my love could still be saved.

The whole of King's Landing could be nothing but ashes as long as Daenerys could become the woman I once kne-I turned quickly to the sound of footsteps. Heartsbane's light was the only way I could barely make out Jaime Lannister. He was bloodied and one leg was broken as he had a limp. Yet he still carried Cersei in his arms.

"Jorah." Jaime breathed.

"Jaime, I've been looking for you." I said and suddenly felt guilty about my plan.

"You want to give me to that *****."

He didn't have to say her name for me to know who he meant. There was only one person he would be talking about now. I stepped closer to the Lannister and noticed that Cersei was dead. She couldn't have been killed by anything but a sword. But whose? Did Jaime kill her? Had he come all this way to kill Cersei? Then why not tell Daenerys? Was he jealous about who should end his sister's life?

"I killed her." Jaime said with despair in his voice. "She believed in this prophecy since she was a young girl. She always thought Tyrion would kill her. But it was me. I was the last one she trusted before my blade tore into her pregnant belly."

"Did you come to King's Landing to kill her?" I asked.

"What? No! I didn't plan to kill her. But when Daenerys went mad and Cersei unleashed wildfire on the city, I couldn't allow her to live. I killed the Mad King because he was about to unleash wildfire on King's Landing. This time...this time I was too late."

He had let all of Westeros hate him because of a misunderstanding and I was still willing to lead him to Daenerys in a vain attempt to save her.

"Jorah, there is one last thing I will ask of you." Jaime said and placed Cersei gently onto the ground.

"If it is in my power to grant it, I will." I replied.

"Kill me. I've lost more than you can imagine and committed more atrocities than you want to know. If there be justice in the world, I won't be allowed to live."

"You're not a bad man, Jaime."

"All my children are dead. I held my dying daughter in my arms. The first woman I ever loved died by my hands. There is nothing left for me anymore but to die by the hands of a good man."

"Today is not your day to die."

"What will come of me if I leave this city alive? Do you think your precious queen will allow me to walk free? Daenerys will kill me and I don't want to die by the hands of a tyrant."

I wanted to grant Jaime's request as it would be the right thing to do. He had done many horrible things in his life, but he had changed. Though killing Jaime would also mean losing my chance to save Daenerys. That is if she could ever be saved after committing an atrocity like burning a city of innocent people.

"I will kill you as long as you tell me why you came to King's Landing." I promised Jaime.

"Fine." Jaime said. "Cersei raped me and became pregnant with my child. I don't love her like I used to, but I wouldn't let an innocent child die for a cruel woman's deeds. It wouldn't be fair to the child. So I planned to take my sister away until she gave birth."

"And then kill her?"

"No. I would send her to Daenerys and live with my child in peace. It would be a quiet life but that's what I wanted after all of this."

A tear went down my cheek. Jaime had been a knight and all he wanted was the quiet life a commoner with his child. I understood the need to run away from everything. If that had been a possibility for me now, I would have taken it. But I had...I had made a mistake and would have to correct it. Even if doing so left me a mere husk of a man.

"Do you want to look or do you need to close your eyes, Ser Jaime Lannister?" I asked gently.

"I'm no coward, Ser Jorah Mormont." Jaime replied.

The knight bent his knees and looked at the flames engulfing Heartsbane. He found my eyes and tilted his head back so his throat was exposed. No matter what he had done, there was a brave and honorable man inside. If only he had been able to live the life he deserved. If only he could have died an old man with no one knowing his name.

"If it be in my power, your deeds won't go forgotten." I said. "The world will not be the same without you."

"If it be in your power, kill Daenerys before it's too late." Jaime demanded.

"Only if she can't be saved."

"I wouldn't ask for anything else."

Jaime knew how hard it was to kill the woman you loved. He had killed Cersei and was now begging for death. He knew it wouldn't be weakness if I let Daenerys live. It was good that at least one person would understand what I did.

I brought Heartsbane down and decapitated Jaime. The man who could have saved Daenerys was now gone. Did I do the right thing?

Before I could think anything else wildfire exploded underneath me. The sensation of the wildfire passing harmlessly through me was disturbing. It felt wrong. It felt as though R'hllor was holding greedily onto me.