Mars Needs Moms (2011)

Title: Mars Needs Moms

Director: Simon Wells

Starring: Seth Green, Joan Cusack, and Dan Fogler

Rated: PG

Released: 2011

Personal Rating: 1.5/5

Oscars: Do You Really Think This Turd Of A Movie Would Even Be Nominated (don't you dare use Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon as an example) ?!

Basic Plot: A young boy named Milo gains a deeper appreciation for his mom after Martians come to Earth to take her away.

Graphics Are Awesome
The one good thing about this movie is the graphics. They are breathtaking. I thought the aliens looked cool (though Ki got tons of butt shots). It's just bad that these good graphics are wasted on this film.

Unlikable Characters
One thing about movies is that they should have at least ONE likable character. Is that too hard to do? Apparently it is for this movie. I admit I'm biased AGAINST children in fiction, but Milo took the cake. Not even two seconds of his first screen appearance and I wanted to kill him. Gribble seemed like I would like him. But after a few minutes that hope was quickly dashed. Let me just note that likable isn't the same as good/virtuous.

Martians Are Now Hippies
The footage from Earth that Ki got were of the Flower Power/'60s. This means that we got one character speaking in an annoying manner. Not as a joke, but thinking that's how humans speak. While that annoyance could be overlooked by the end, how this affects the other Martians can't. Ki helps them take tips from the footage she saw. So now Martians are the new Hippies.

Final Thoughts
There are so many unanswered questions. Such as: Why can't the Martians breathe their own air? Why does the Martian Society at the start of the film have such a shitty back story? Why am I asking these questions? I hate this film! There are so many cliches in this movie. I'm not saying movies have to be original, but they at least have to step away from using every cliche in the book. Maybe if some of the characters were likable I could stand this. But we'll never know the answer to that question.


Bonus Video

Pretty Little Liars "Father Knows Best" Review

I give a short review of the Pretty Little Liars episode "Father Knows Best".

11/22/63 (Stephen King)

Title: 11/22/63

Author: Stephen King

Released: 2011

Rating: 5/5

Basic Plot: Jake Epping goes back in time to try and stop the Kennedy Assassination.

How The Book Deals with Time Travel
I love time travel. It's one reason I love the Terminator franchise. You can handle time travel in many different ways, so I was excited to see how King handled it. Let me just say that it was a great portrayal of time travel. The dangers that are inherent in King's version of time traveling can create chaos (even if the person time traveling has the best of intentions).

The Romance
I'm not going to be talking about Sadie's ex-husband in this part, if you were wondering. I'm talking about how the romance with Sadie affects Jake's decisions he makes. I think if there wasn't a romance with Sadie his choice at the end of the novel wouldn't have been as difficult.

Historical Fiction
This might sound strange: but even though this novel involves time travel, it is a historical novel. The good majority of the novel focuses on the 'Land of Ago' (aka The Past). While this could be boring, what Jake encounters is more than enough to make up for it.

Final Thoughts
I love Stephen King. And was overjoyed that Jake Epping (the main character) was able to use the fact that he's an English Teacher to his advantage while visiting the past. King's son (also a writer) did a good job at telling King to use a different ending. Which I think helps the book. This book does involve sex and violence. But those used to King's writings will already be used to that. Nothing was too extreme for me.

Oscars (2012)

In this video I say who the winners are, comment on the winners, and say what I think about the ceremony. Plus there's a guest star!

The Walking Dead "18 Miles Out" Review

I give a short review of The Walking Dead episode "18 Miles Out".

A lot of people are mad that The Iron Lady won for Best Makeup, as opposed to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. What're your own thoughts on this?

I think Harry Potter should have won for that. While The Iron Lady seemed to do a good job. HP had to create a whole world and it did that EXTREMELY well!

Ask me anything

The Eternal Heart: False Hero 1

Note:This is a Terminator fanfic that combines a bunch of different timelines, twists them around, and so can't be said to follow any one certain timeline.


I opened my eyes as I heard the sounds. The sounds were loud and threatening. Who was I? Where was I? When was it? As a machine attacked me I realized those were questions that could be answered later. Trying to get away from the attacking machine I realized there was a gun in my hand. I didn't know why I didn't notice it before. But, again, that didn't matter. What mattered was that I had a gun.

I aimed it as though I had used guns before. When I shot the machine I realized I must've previously attacked the same kind of machine that was after me. A Terminator. Yes, that was the name. It seemed familiar to me.

As a bullet went over my head I realized I would have to think about that later. I scored a solid hit on the Terminator and fluid burst out. I would've sworn it was red but the fluid changed colors. By the time it fell to the ground I couldn't remember what color it originally was.

As more Terminators attacked my memory came back. The fact that the blood was pumping quickly through my veins must've helped me to remember. My name was Jash and I was a Resistance Fighter.

As my memory came back I was able to kill the metal, a nickname for the Terminators, easier. When I killed them I heard them scream and curse me. Why would metal do those things? Besides, they were the invaders. They were the foot soldiers of Skynet and wouldn't think twice about killing me or any human.

The sounds of battle finally drew to a close. When they were fully gone, it felt eerie. I walked over to one of the Terminators and recalled that his name was Martin Bedell. How did I know that? I nearly laughed when I realized that the Terminator was wearing a dog tag with its name on it.

"Just because you have a name doesn't mean I give a shit about you." I said and spit on it. "I am Jash of the Resistance Against Skynet. And I will never surrender my humanity to you."
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The Eternal Heart Blog