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It was as if I could smell the food and taste the beer. As I was now admired by my fellow Northerners I felt at home. Going to the feast would mean connecting to the place I grew up in. While Khaleesi was my home, there was a part of me that would always feel more comfortable in the North.
"Are you sure I'm even needed at this feast?" Daenerys asked. "The Northerners hate me and I doubt that one battle will change that fact."
"Northerners are always suspicious of outsiders." I told her. "But you did help save Winterfell. They will look at you differently, just like what happened to me."
"That's different. You were born here. I was born on Dragonstone and grew up in Essos. If they didn't accept me when I brought my men to fight the dead, they won't trust me now."
"I was born here but I brought dishonor on my House. I came to Essos because I fled execution. There was a reason I left Longclaw behind when I ran. If I brought it with me then I truly would be a man without honor."
My words did not seem to pierce the thick armor my love kept around herself. I could understand why. Ever since arriving she had been treated with distrust. Sansa made no secret of how much she loathed Khaleesi. As a pupil of Littlefinger, she was not the kind of enemy my queen could deal with. Khaleesi was used to overcoming odds in a very straightforward manner. I don't think she truly understood the kind of manipulation the Stark woman was capable of.
"You don't know what the Northerners will think until we go to the feast." I told Khaleesi. "We could spend days talking over the possible ways the feast will go. But we won't know what will happen until it actually does."
"You think I'm afraid?" Khaleesi asked. "What kind of queen am I supposed to be? Am I supposed to be the kind that would give up the North to please those I saved? Am I supposed to be the kind that would keep tight reigns on the North?"
"You will be the kind of queen Westeros needs. The kind that hasn't been seen in many lifetimes. You will make the right choices because your kind heart will guide you."
"What if it fails me?"
"I wouldn't have followed you from Essos to Westeros if I had any doubt."
"You haven't doubted me? Not even once?"
"Maybe a few times. But even when I worried I believed in you more than anyone else I've served."
Khaleesi smiled. Of course I had doubted her and one incident probably came to the front of her mind. The time in Astapor that I had questioned her in front of everyone. At the time my fear was that she would sell Drogon for an Unsullied army. That doubt had quickly been replaced with pride as she caused the slaughter of the Masters. Since then she continued to surprise me with how quickly she adapted to new situations.
"No matter the sacrifice, I will stand by your side until the end." I reassured her. "I will never abandon you, Khaleesi."
She walked over to two of the outfits that she had to decide between. Both were elegant yet not much more than what she usually wore. Both would clearly show to the North how regal she was as well as her heritage. She came from House Targaryen that should have never been overthrown. I had fought on the wrong side of Robert's Rebellion. Something that seemed to be forgotten by Khaleesi.
"I don't doubt you would ever willingly abandon me, Jorah." Khaleesi said and turned to me. "I know that if it was up to you, you would never stray far from me."
"And why wouldn't the choice to stay by your side be up to me?" I asked, worried about where this conversation was headed.
"You're now Lord Mormont of Bear Island. Everything that you lost when you left has been returned to you. While you're not the most obsessed with honor, you do feel the need to do the right thing. With one hand you spied on me and with the other you sacrificed everything to protect me. With one hand you betrayed your House and with the other you will sacrifice everything to make it thrive again. You won't be able to stay in King's Landing and so will be far from me."
I wanted to deny everything she said but I couldn't. Ever since the day I had fled Westeros a part of me had fallen ill. That part of me was alive but very weakly. Some days it did not even know if it should try to breathe another breath or not. Now that part of me had the chance to fully heal on Bear Island as I became a better Lord because of my hardships. But that would mean leaving Khaleesi, something I couldn't bear to do.
"Why would you stand down from taking your place as Lord of your House?" Daenerys asked and pretended to be very interested in her two outfits. "If you don't take your place then Bear Island could descend into chaos. You would have to choose which House should lead Bear Island to a great future. And how would you know which House to choose when you've been gone for so long?"
Khaleesi brought up good points. If I were to step down then someone else would need to take my place. I would have to step down if I were to marry my love as the needs of Bear Island would come before anything else. But who would I choose? The political maneuvers of every House was a complicated dance that you had to study carefully or accidentally bring ruin to those you were supposed to protect. Maybe the mistake would be so great that I would die as an assassin silently left the room, caring for nothing but the gold that was to be paid to them.
"I care about my House's survival." I admitted. "If I don't then I'll have brought dishonor to House Mormont twice. My father was ashamed once for my failings, he shouldn't be ashamed twice for the same thing."
"I wish I could have met him." Khaleesi said. "He must have been a great man to have fathered such a son."
"I am a poor imitation of him. If he were still alive then you would see a man much greater than I. And there is no shame in admitting that fact."
If only he were alive. He would be able to tell me if I deserved the praise that was now bestowed on me. Maybe he would have some insight into why Melisandre thought I was Azor Ahai. Would he have laughed at the thought that the gods would honor me so? Then there was the fact it pained me to know I could never look upon his face ever again.
"Would he have liked me?" Khaleesi asked.
"He might be reserved after my last wife." I replied with a slight chuckle. "But he would see what I see in you. A queen that Westeros needs. After we go south and kill Cersei Lannister, you will be instrumental in rebuilding this land. You will help make changes that will ensure the Seven Kingdoms have peace for generations."
"And you can be by my side even as Lord of your House?"
"There has to be a way to be your king and rule my House too. Once we have a children, even if I have to find another woman, I can have one of them overseeing Bear Island."
"But our children will be Targaryen. You're ensuring the death of your House."
"Houses rise and fall. It is...it is my House's time to fall."
The only way to ensure my House's survival was to marry someone other than Khaleesi. If I didn't then House Mormont would fade away. I'll have destroyed the House I said I admired and wanted to protect. The smart thing would be to find another to warm my bed and produce offspring with, yet I couldn't do the noble thing. I loved my queen with all my being.
"You are my home, Khaleesi." I told her. "You are the one thing I couldn't bear to lose. Even if the entire world turned against you, I would be by your side."
"Is that a promise you can keep?" She asked.
"Yes. There will be a way to protect Bear Island and be your king."
There was still doubt in her eyes. I wondered if I hadn't convinced myself that my loyalties didn't have to be divided. There was always a chance that no matter the yearnings of my heart, a hard choice would have to be made. At least Jon would be close by if I ever needed to reassure myself that leaving Khaleesi was the right decision. The way he was able to be honorable was a feat very few had achieved. But before I relegated my future to be away from my love, I would do everything in my power to be her king. I would defy the gods themselves to be in the only place I considered home. If my title truly were Azor Ahai, the power was mine to pave my future. As long as the great other was defeated first.
I knew that no words could convince Khaleesi she had nothing to worry about. That all the fears she had experienced since coming North would all prove to be baseless. That not everyone would abandon her and Jon had never truly left her side. He had made the hard decision to be honorable over allowing himself the pleasures our queen could bring.
So instead of talking to her, I grabbed her roughly and pulled her against my chest. A gasp left her lips as my action reminded her of her first husband more than who she had thought I was. To her excitement I told her with body how I truly felt about her.
"You finished already?" Khaleesi teased after we had finished.
"We can't go all night, my love." I replied.
After cleaning up we started getting dressed. I worried about how many people had heard us. We hadn't remained quiet to hide the fact of what had happened. I wondered how many odd glances we would get once we walked to the feast. I worried most about how Tyrion would respond to the news.
"You were right, I had nothing to worry about." Khaleesi said with a wicked smile. "If there is one person I know will stay by my side, it is you. I shouldn't have worried about you leaving me."
"You're not used to the North, Khaleesi, and I can understand feeling alienated." I replied. "Us Northerners are hard on those we consider outsiders. You are also a Targaryen which means people here are reminded of the horrors your House caused in the past."
"My House brought stability to Westeros by uniting it under the Iron Throne."
"Your ancestors conquered with fire and blood. The North only bent the knee so that even more travesty wouldn't be committed. You have hardly been peaceful in your conquest, do you think Aegon had an easier time?"
"Sometimes it feels like he did."
"That's because you have your ancestors as godlike figures as their lives have already ended."
"I am glad that you are my king, Jorah."
It felt odd being called her king. Her husband. The one she loved the most. For so long I had dreamed of the day she would finally reciprocate my love for her. The journey to keep her on the right path would be hard but worthwhile. Her anger and fury was righteous. With me by her side it would always be kept in control.
"You should have chosen someone else to be your king." I said with a shy smile. "There are some Dothraki that are better suited to Westeros than others. The Westerosi would accept such a king from you now."
"You act like you have a choice." Daenerys replied with a wicked grin. "I have made my decision and you have reminded me why I shouldn't regret it."
She was right. I had accepted to be her lover which meant I had also agreed to be her king. A woman like her deserved to marry the man she loved and the man that loved her. Jon Snow had given up his chance though he was the more favorable choice. He hd the love of the people that I had lost long ago. While the people of the North might accept me as Lord of Bear Island, it was an altogether different thing to agree with me as King of the Seven Kingdoms.
Though my actual title should not be king, I doubted anyone would correct Daenerys. She had two dragons and her decision to abandon her quest would not soon be forgotten. If she decided to change titles for any reason, no one would argue. The girl in Essos had died long ago only to be reborn as something deadlier.
"Yes, my queen." I said and gently kissed her.
"I guess we can't keep people waiting." Khaleesi said with a smile.
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