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The night air was colder than any winter I remembered. But the chill in the air was the least of my worries. The real terror was what would be found in the darkness. Melisandre had lit the Dothraki's weapons on fire which provided the only light as we charged to the Night King's army. Even though this charge was doomed, something I had tried to tell Daenerys and Jon, there was an excitement coursing through my veins.
Ghost ran beside me as if he had bonded with me. However, he was Jon's direwolf and not mine. He was a friend but nothing more and that was more than enough now. The sigil of House Stark was something I respected. The fact that direwolves had been spotted south of the Wall was a miracle. A miracle was running by my side and, for the moment, I felt invincible. It felt as if the old gods were protecting every warrior.
I had been through enough battles to know that the initial taste of victory could quickly sour into defeat. At the beginning of any fight your body was full of energy and fatigue was a distant dream. My mind would not become distracted and Sam's gift of Heartsbane would not be wasted. Even if I were to die this night, I would take down as many dead as possible. My death would bring honor to House Mormont.
"Jon, I'm not a warg." I said and tried to keep the harsh tone out of my voice. "Not everyone can put their mind inside an animal. Your brother is unique in that manner."
We were walking around Winterfell to make final preparations for the coming battle. The battle that not many would come out alive from. It was suicide to fight the dead and I couldn't run from it. I wasn't a coward and the North was where I came from. Then there was also the fact Daenerys Targaryen had offered support. I would always follow her. Even if it lead to my death.
"I would still feel more comfortable if you kept him beside you in the battle." Jon argued. "If there is any way for you to come out of this battle alive, I'll take it. You are one of the few people able to control Daenerys' more wild tendencies."
I didn't like his tone about the woman I loved. Yet he was right. There had been many times I had had to stop her from letting her wilder tendencies roam free. Sometimes I hadn't been able to help, though. She was a dragon and would never be tamed. Not by me nor any other man. It was only a vain dream to imagine otherwise.
"What if I do die and have to live in your direwolf's body?" I asked and turned my head slightly to see Ghost had joined us. "I wish to serve Daenerys and you want to stay in the North."
"We are not parting ways." Jon replied but I could hear the lie in his voice.
"I don't know you, but I know her. She doesn't appear to want to be with you like before. Something has come between the two of you."
"Every relationship has problems."
If only I could tell him the secret I was hiding. How I knew she was debating where her heart belonged. At least there had been many years for me to steel myself against hope. He should learn to enjoy the time he had and not to expect anything more. It was her choice at the end of the day.
"You have to accept that she isn't with you." Jon retorted angrily.
"I have accepted that." I replied calmly. "All I wish to do is serve her, everything else is secondary."
We had been forced behind the walls by the dead. Due to it being night it was hard to see the actual enemy. A few times Heartsbane had nearly hit a living man. There had been no time to apologize as the dead were here. Because of all my years of training I was able to fight with hardly any thought.
My Valyrian blade carved through dead after dead. There was no time to think about how these creatures had once been living people. There was no time to reflect on that fact. It wouldn't help me fight them as-I turned around quickly and killed the undead that was about to kill me.
If I hadn't been knocked off of my horse then I would've had the advantage of speed. Though in such tight quar-I was forced to run from my opponents to have a second to think. All the while I ran I killed any dead in my way. Chaos, even the current chaos I found myself in, had a pattern. The Night King was intelligent and so there were weaknesses in his battle plans. Even a small glance inside his head would give the living a chance of surviving the night. If only Bran had given us a greater insight into the Night King's strategy. If only one of us ha-I saw Sam in the dim light.
He had been brave but foolish this night. If he had not been the one to cure me and give me hope, I wouldn't have gone to save him. If he died then he wouldn't risk the lives of anymore of the living. But I had a debt to repay and so I rushed to his side.
I killed the dead that were after him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a look of exhaustion from him. Sam was a good man with a kind heart, something nearly unheard of in the world. But those qualities did not mean he would be go-the dead would not stop! I was becoming exhausted and if not for all my years of experience, I would've fallen or fled by now.
So many around me were either dead or people I did not know. This battle had become less of a battle and more of a massacre. The Night King only had to wait some time until our forces would crumble upon a soft touch. Why did he not just burn Bran in the godswood? Was there som-I blocked a blow aimed at my torso. A quick turn gave me the momentum to cut his head off.
"I thought you were lost to me." Daenerys said and wrapped her arms around herself.
"I will never abandon you." I told her.
For a reason unknown to me, she had insisted I meet at night in her quarters. A lesser man would've blamed Khaleesi for the jealousy he felt. My emotions did not concern her and I would not go so low as to blame her for them. For the way she was now running her hands down her sides. Her eyes revealed she didn't realize what she was doing. Probably was thinking of Ned Stark's bastard.
"I thought about you a lot when you were gone." She said and beckoned me with her eyes.
"I am glad you thought of me." I replied and tried to deny the thoughts going on in my head.
My dreams had always centered around this moment. This moment when she allowed me to show her the love I felt for her. While she was aroused by my presence there was no love for me in her. She thought of Jon and me. She didn't know who she loved and I wanted her to be sure of her choice. But my body had its own needs and she was willing.
The decision was made for me when she placed my hand on one of her ****. Maybe our love wouldn't be sung by bards, but at least we had this moment. We had now. I kissed her and she wrapped her arms around my neck.
"Jorah..." Khaleesi breathed as my other hand started to undress her.
The roar of the three dragons broke the monotony of the battle. Viserion who had been killed and resurrected by the Night King, Rhaegal who was the mount of Jon Snow, and Drogon who was the mount of Daenerys. If only I could be up there to protect her but that was a misplaced dream.
With every roar I spared a quick glance to the sky. My view of the dance was obscured by the battle. By every attempt at my life I had to trust Khaleesi with her own fate. She had risen from an object to one of the most powerful people in Westeros. She would be able to battle the Night King.
What was uncertain was if I could win my own battle. With each swing my decision to survive became even stronger. I would see what world Khaleesi made. I would see how she left the world in a better shape than it started. The wheel would be broken by her. Westeros would be swept into a new age by the rightful queen of the seven kingdoms.
Another roar and I turned my head to the sky. For some reason Drogon was flying low enough that I knew he was landing. If Khaleesi was stranded on the ground she would be defenseless. She was not a warrior as without her dragon she was defenseless. She had never swung a sword or shot an arrow. My sword helped me to leave a trail of dead in my wake as I ran towards my queen.
Nothing mattered now. Not my happiness nor my life. All that mattered was I get to her side before the dead did. The gods must have shown me mercy as I was able to get to Daenerys' side before the Night King's men did. Drogon flew away to shake the wights off his back just as I got to my love's side.
Khaleesi was broken in the moment. I wanted to get her down to the crypts but there wasn't time. There was only time to stand and fight. Without warning her, I grabbed her to pull her up. She tensed up but quickly relaxed when she realized who I was. We had been friends for long enough that a simple touch was enough for us to tell each other apart.
Daenerys was wavering on the edge of madness. At least she took my advice about Tyrion Lannister. As long as she trusted in her advisors she would not fall far. She might become unstable but never to the extent of a tyrant. Not like the North thought she would be.
"If I may, I would ask for one more thing." I said with a small grin on my face.
After that one night on Dragonstone we had never again met like that. Though the looks we had given each other made that fact a miracle. But she needed to make her choice and not be clouded by indecision.
"I would be honored." She replied with a soft smile of her own.
As she walked toward me I could tell that the romantic bonds between us had deepened. Had formed a tight web of safety. Though it was still clouded by thoughts of Jon. If she chose the younger man moments like these would have to stop. But at least these intimate moments with her would be a memory of mine.
After we made love we kissed on the lips and then I let her down to the ground. Her hand ran down my chest and thankfully didn't touch my scars. These were the moments that scared us both. I with my wish for this not to be the last time and her doing her best to stay in the realm of indecision. Both of us just wanted this moment to last forever.
Khaleesi had picked up a sword and was fighting alongside me. She might not have had the skill of a fighter and I might have had to protect her, but she was never more beautiful than in that moment. She had picked up a weapon and found the beast inside her had awakened. Every now and again I would not be able to block a blow and the tiniest of pains rocked my body.
I blocked blow after blow. Sometimes my queen would make a strike and then I'd have to pull her away from harm. My body felt another little pain and then I killed the dead. I let out a yell before attacking yet another of my love's enemies.
As the minutes passed by I couldn't stand. For some reason my legs had failed me. From far away I heard Khaleesi call to me. Her arms picked me up and I pushed her away so the dead wouldn't get her. I fell down again and she thankfully stood back. What was happening to me? Why did I have to use Heartsbane to stand up?
Before I could think more on the matter I swung my sword as the dead hadn't stopped. My eyes wanted to close and go to sleep. I would allow myself to sleep once the dead were gone and Khaleesi was safe.
Eternity became nothing but blow, parry, and picking myself up. It became nothing but a dance myself, Daenerys, and the dead participated in. Life and death would be decided this night. Who was Bran? Who was the Night King? In my mind they barely registered as anyone important.
Bran was the deadliest force in Westeros. No, that wasn't right. The deadliest force was the Night King with his dead army or Daenerys with her dragonglass blade beside me. She would kill every now and again while the dead feared my blade. Yet she was the bravest of us. Any knight could pull out a sword and fight. Any seasoned warrior could take on many men. But not everyone was so brave as to not have any battle experience and still fight. Sam had been a member of the Night's Watch and had become a crying mess in the middle of battle. He was a brave coward.
Khaleesi looked at me with fear in her voice but I didn't think on that look. This was the first time she was in a large scale battle. Of course she would be looking at me with fear. Another prick from the dead and he again became a corpse. Then three others joined his place. My queen should be in the crypts and not here. She should be protected while others risked their lives. This woman who was insane enough to fight in a hopeless battle. If only she hadn't left Drogon and they could fly away from this nightmare. Though I doubted she would do something as cowardly as that.
One eternity we were fighting and the next the dead were dead again. Suddenly all the pain of the battle hit me. It dawned to me that the pricks that had sent me down weren't pricks at all. My need for sleep was a calling for eternal rest.
"I'm hurt." I said as my mind still tried to registered what had really happened.
Khaleesi put her hand around me and I could feel the hope radiating off of her. I would stay strong until the last for her. Which wouldn't be long. My legs gave way and I fell down. In a moment she cradled my head in her hands and I put an arm around her waist. I did my best to grant her comfort in this dark moment.
In her eyes I saw her decision. She loved me deeply and completely. She was now admitting thoughts that had since been hidden from her. It was not Jon her heart belonged to but me. And now I was dying to leave her with only dreams of an unlived path. She had been at a crossroads and was now looking back with a sigh.
"I love you." I tried to say but no words could come out.
Even though no words had been exchanged, Daenerys could still tell my meaning. Words hadn't been our only form of communication over the years. I looked at her as a strange voice called to me. Not with words but with howls that went through every part of me. Why wasn't a bear calling me to the afterlife?
I saw her crying and then the dark overtook me. It consumed me and for a moment I felt dead. The next moment I opened my eyes to a world whose colors weren't as vibrant as before.
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