This fic was originally published HERE.
Rain was rare in the Plaguebringer's territory. It didn't fall often and, when it did, it was not kind. My deity could bring destruction in a single raindrop and allow only the strongest to survive. Today it was raining and there was no cause for joy.
The first thing to notice about the rain was that it had a foul stench to it. If I had been in control of my body I would've passed out from the stench. As it was, I was forced to stay awake through the entire ordeal as Tarik found it more than humorous. At times he would laugh out loud with the other demons. Our pain amused them.
The other thing about the rain was that it burned through my skin. This made me want to flee. Once gone from this area a cure could be created. Or maybe it was mere fear that was making me want to fly away from this place. Want to fly away from this horror and pretend the demons didn't actually exist.
[We are here.] Tarik replied with a laugh. [You will never get rid of us. You will suffer until the day you die. You have no freedom anymore.]
My demon was right. All my freedom was gone. All of it was non-existent. Only when I had been a hatchling had there any way for me to make a choice. Then Tarik and the others had come. Now the only thing left for me was to feel pain and rage. There was nothing else to do now but let the rain burn me.
Tarik forced me to experience each rain drop with more intensity than before. He was on my brain or in it, I couldn't tell which. All that was known to me was that he could make me feel anything. Of course he wasn't able to abuse that ability as he needed my body to function. But days like today he used me as his plaything to take vengeance on a wrong he thought I'd done.
[Maybe we should visit your mother.] Tarik said as he walked around the clan. [I am sure her suffering will be great. You could comfort her.]
[Please.] I begged. [Don't hurt her anymore.]
[You do not have a choice.]
He was right. If he wanted me to see my mother suffering, he could do that. He could take me over to her to taunt us both. If her demon was in the mood, it would exaggerate her pain which would make everything...I didn't want to think about it. I shouldn't be thinking about it until it happened.
[Oh, start thinking about it now.] Tarik said with a laugh. [At least prepare yourself.]
[I won't.] I argued. [Preparing will just bring me pain.]
My demon forced me to watch as the rain started to tear into my clanmates' skin. In the old days such disfiguration would be praise to the Plaguebringer. We would all try to see who could get the most wounds without dying. It was a deadly game but that was life. Anything valuable in the world was hard to get. Lesser deities would lend their followers help. But the Plaguebringer knew this was a mark of weakness.
A shiver went through my mind as I looked at a Fae. The rain had burned part of his head open and I could see the demon inside. It was white like the Icewarden's snow. For a moment one could imagine that the demon meant no harm. But I knew better than to fall in love with it. The majority of its body was wrapped around the Fae's brain. From the brain it went around the dragon's spine. The dragon still had too much flesh for me to see the rest of the body.
[Don't think it.] Tarik said as he read my mind faster than my thoughts formed. [There is no hope for you.]
Tarik turned our eyes away from the Fae but the image was still in my mind. Try as I might I couldn't follow my demon's orders. If the rain was strong enough to tear into dragons, it could mean the end for the demons. With a simple rainfall the invasion would be over. It took all my self-control not to burst out laughing. Not to taunt my demon.
As he continued with his duties I was left to imagine things for myself. If this rain could tear into demons, they would experience great pain before dying. My jaws could go around the heads of my clanmates and free them from the pain. My jaws would be covered with blood and the scattered remains of the demons. No, that wasn't right. If I destroyed the demons that way then my clanmates would be killed too. Why didn't that make me feel more afraid than it already did?
[You aren't fit to be free.] Tarik replied. [Not anymore.]
Was he right? Could it be that my unstable rage made me unable to act in a logical fashion? Or was he only using my fears to taunt me as was his way?
A Wildclaw came over and observed our burns. Unfortunately no part of my head or spine was exposed. There was no chance for me. Hopefully one of my clanmates would become freed and able to lead a life. One with hopes and dreams of his own.
"Is it serious?" Tarik asked.
"No," The Wildclaw shook her head. "Keep using the recommended spells. In a few days we should have a medicine for this."
"And if my host dies?"
"One of our newly acquired clans should have a host for you."
"And you are sure that the rain can't harm me?"
"It can cause us a great deal of pain but not death. You will survive unless you choose suicide."
No! There had to be something the Wildclaw had forgotten. Hopefully the situation was much worse than those in charge wanted to admit. It wouldn't do to have a panic, after all. Tarik made me feel the pain more intensely than before until my thoughts softened.
[Stop those dreams of yours.] Tarik hissed. [Stop that hope. We will soon have a cure for this problem. All you can do now is hope which will take you nowhere.]
[I understand.] I replied meekly. [But aren't you worried about your safety?]
[I have been to many worlds, dragon, and have faced many enemies. It has been a long time since my birth and it will be awhile until my death. This rain is nothing but a minor inconvenience.]
[Where did you come from?]
[I was born a long time after my species' creation. It is a mystery that isn't yours to learn.]
That was truth. My place was to be used and abused by the demons. I no longer held any power. At times that was painful and sometimes it brought me peace. No matter what horrors I encountered, I had nothing to fight. That was what my mind focused on so that Tarik no longer showed much interest in me.
"Arg!" A Tundra said and collapsed.
The dragon was trying to rebel. He probably knew that there was no reason to fight any longer. That accepting death was the easier solution. I prayed to the Plaguebringer to grant him death. She wouldn't be soft and gentle, so there was no use asking my deity for that. Because of my loud thoughts, Tarik raced over to the Tundra's side.
"Medic!" Tarik yelled. "Medic!"
"I am sorry." A young Mirror replied. "There are too many wounded and sick to be handled. Do you know how to remove her from her host?"
Tarik nodded and suddenly I couldn't understand anything around me. My eyes could see but the ability to interpret was gone. What my demon was doing would remain secret from me. He didn't trust me enough to see the procedure. Though he was wrong that I cared. If I were to kill a demon it wouldn't be by any procedure. No, I would rip and tear.
"Thank you, Tarik." The Tundra said once Tarik gave me back my senses. "That Mirror is a good host body. Its genes make it appear to be covered in blood. A good intimidation tactic. Did you have any choice in selecting a host?"
"No," Tarik replied. "I merely did what I was told."
"Which is why you haven't risen through the ranks."
In response my demon walked away and looked for a small cave. Clan members had found a few caves around the territory were suited to hide away from the elements. The problem was that not everyone could fit. Not everyone could find safety. Emmi had come up with a rotation where every hour those in the caves would exit and new dragons would enter.
[Why would you do this?] Tarik asked angrily once he was safely in the cave. [These caves were made so not everyone could fit. It is madness.]
[The Plaguebringer constantly tests her children.] I replied and took comfort in my clan's history. [To hide from the elements means one is a coward. It is a sign of disrespect to the Plaugebringer herself.]
[One day we will kill your precious deities.]
[You can't.]
Anger coursed through my veins as we rested in the cave. A loud yell could be heard and all of us went to the very edge of the cave's entrance to look. A Mirror was yelling in joy with a smile on his face. He flapped his wings a few times as if taunting the demons.
"You have no more power over me." The Mirror proclaimed loudly. "I am no longer your slave. i will alert all of Sornieth to your evils!"
For a moment I was convinced that he had conquered the demon. But then I saw his head. The body of a living demon was wrapped around his brain. It was possible that the Mirror was able to resist the demon. But the creature would gain back control unless it was removed. I tried to get a warning out but Tarik was gripping me too tightly.
The Mirror was about to speak again but he started coughing. It was a sign that the demon was wrestling back control. The demon lifted the dragon's head and laughed. The other demons joined in with the laughter. They wanted to remind us that there was never going to be a chance at escape.
[I felt that hope.] Tarik said mockingly. [You know there is no hope and yet you do everything in your power to fool yourself. It is pitiful how you continue to delude yourself in feeling hope after all this time.]
[I can't help it.] I replied weakly. [I know it is stupid and yet...yet I still feel it. You know how hard I fight to push it down.]
[That I do.]
We went back inside the cave and attempted to nap. My dreams were horrible things. I dreamed I was flying through the rain trying to kill Tarik. All my skin was slowly burning away but the pain would be worth it if my demon died. I prayed to the Plaguebringer to honor my strength and she didn't.
After a short time all my skin was gone and yet still Tarik controlled me. My body was sweating when I woke up. My body was sweating? Maybe the rain didn't grant dragons the ability to rid ourselves of the demons, but it allowed more control. With just enough time I could pull Tarik from out of me and feast on his flesh.
[I will never give up that much control.] Tarik stated. [The Mirror's demon was weak. You will never get that chance. Resign yourself to your fate and stop fighting me. There is no point and it will bring you even more pain.]
I would live a life full of pain either way. Either from how my demon treated me or by death. More and more the thought of death was freeing. Once I died my soul would go to serve in the Plaugebringer's army. Many that were killed by the demons would join her and then we'd have our vengeance.
* * *
There was a bad storm a few days later. Unfortunately we weren't allowed in a cave during this time and so had to endure the harsh conditions. Tarik dug our claws into the ground so that we weren't blown away. Our wings were pressed firmly onto our body so I didn't accidentally fly away. Though death was much more preferable to my current condition.
[Ah!} Tarik yelled the rain started to burn into his skull.
There was both pain and anger in his voice. Pain because of the rain and anger because he hadn't been selected to have the medicine. The demons were meticulous in their research and had quickly found a cure. However, the cure was only able to be made in a limited supply. This meant only the highest ranking demons were able to get the cure while others had to wait.
[You are hopeless, dragon!] Tarik said fearfully. [You won't win!]
My demon had read my thoughts more quickly than I formed them. The pain in my head was more painful than before. If he was so afraid it meant that he was now exposed. My freedom was close at hand if only I reached out to take it. If only I pushed back the fear and hopelessness that had consumed me. My rage would be the only thing that could help me defeat Tarik. The rest of me was bound in logic but my rage...my rage was not bound to anything.
[No!] Tarik moaned. [You don't know what you're doing! You're making a terrible mistake!]
[I will be free!] I screamed. [You will not control me anymore!]
[No!]
I focused on moving my right front claw. It moved slowly and all of a sudden it picked up speed. My first strike dug into my head more than I expected. There had still been a little piece of my skull left so luckily I hadn't killed Tarik outright. No, he didn't deserve such a merciful death. His angelic body attempted to squirm away from my claws but it wasn't able to. It was stuck inside me and his only hope was to take control back.
Tarik screamed as I grabbed most of him with my claw. I delighted in his fear and terror. Delighted in the way his motions were useless. Now he would experience the horror I felt every day before he died. After a few minutes of pain I managed to pull him from me. He had been tightly wound around me but my rage had blinded me to weakness. It had allowed me to find the strength to achieve freedom.
I held out my demon so I could look at his form that was still attempting to get away from me. He was large but thin. A slight motion from my claw ended his life. He needed a host to live as Sornieth, or any world, would quickly kill him otherwise. He was a parasite and now he was dead. Now he couldn't harm me ever again. He wouldn't be able to harm anyone again.
The rage I felt when I killed Tarik was invigorating. It felt as though new life were breathed in me. As if my enslavement was washed away with the rain. I opened my mouth and let the rain burn my throat. My wants moved my body which marked the end of my time as an idle passenger. The only one that dictated my life was me.
I turned my attention to the dragons around me. The demons in their heads were afraid. Oh, yes, they were afraid. They had seen me destroy one of their own. They had seen me pull Tarik from my head and kill him in one swift motion. My fellow dragons must be feeling hopeful. Freedom was not far away. It was so close I could just taste it.
A Wildclaw stumbled towards me. Its awkward movements informed me the dragon inside wanted my help. It must not feel confident in its own abilities. I could understand. I bit its head and the scent of blood was maddening. It tasted like prey that Tarik let me kill. The other emotion I felt was anger at the demon for ruining our lives. We had been a peaceful clan until they came!
"Ah!" The dragon's mouth yelled.
The anguish it felt spurred me on. This was such an easy hunt! Suddenly I realized my emotions were confused. I felt the rage of a hunt, need for revenge, and a need to help. The Wildclaw body fell limp and I backed away. No! I was stupid! So stupid!
I growled and looked at the dragons around me. I wanted to kill them just to stop the shame. So my body fulfilled my wish. My body attacked one dragon after another. I quickly forgot all the confusing emotions and instead felt joy. There was blood and a fight. Who couldn't be happy at such a moment! This was joy that I could feel without Tarik.
He couldn't turn my head so the dying screams of my prey could be heard easier. The rain stopped for a few minutes and I healed myself then. Only a few scars littered my body. There was no hint about my past torment.
When I ran out of prey the rain came back. Now that the hunt was through-what had I been fighting? There had been no enemies but the demons and there must be more of them. Why weren't they attac-I blinked the blood from my eyes and looked around.
"No!" I yelled. "No! No! No!"
In my mouth and on my body were pieces of my clan. My friends that could've been freed were dead now. I had chosen my happiness over them. Or had I? When I looked back at my emotions I couldn't figure out where they began and ended.
Or maybe the truth was I didn't want to know. I went into one of the caves and cried until the rain stopped again.
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