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I sat by a large fire which was the only source of warmth. It was also the only place we could be certain about not being overheard. After the battle the men had decided to stay inside with only a few venturing into the cold. The dead had continued to make the North even colder.
"You were stupid, Jorah." Arya said and clutched her right arm.
Her features were torn and she would have scars in the future. If she lived that long. Her right arm was the part that was most torn. She hadn't looked at me ever since the dead had retreated with their king. I didn't know if it was due to her own wounds or worry over what the Night King could be doing now.
"Arya, you need to rest." Jon said and Ghost nodded his agreement. "You're not thinking clearly."
"I am thinking very clearly." Arya hissed. "I am seeing a man who is supposed to be the King of the Seven Kingdoms. I am seeing the man who is supposed to fight for the living. Yet he let the Night King flee to safety. Father was right to want to execute you."
"The reason I turned back was because my men were dying." I argued and tried not to let her insult sting. "I have a dragon and he doesn't. I can move much faster than him. I can kill him in a few hours if need be."
"And how many men will die in that time? You could've ended the entire war now."
I looked into the fire as if I could escape the accusations there. Arya, no matter the tone of her voice, was right in that I could've ended the war. I could've gone after the Night King and saved thousands. My body wanted to run from this place but that wasn't something a king would do. And I was a king with a reputation to uphold. A bad show of manners would reflect poorly on my husband.
"You are just as stupid as Jon." Tormund said and looked at his hands. "I thought crows were monsters. Yet neither you or Jon have been clever enough. You had the chance to end this war and you didn't."
I met the Wildlings eyes and held steady. I did not flinch even when I wanted to look away. He was missing fingers from both hands. Yet just enough remained that he could still hold a sword or other weapon. He could still fight which meant he would. Something told me that he wouldn't easily relinquish his fighting spirit.
The wind howled and we all looked into the distance to try and see a wight. I could call down Drogon if need be but we were much too near the camp. Dragon fire was deadly and could just as easily kill my men as the enemy.
Arya and Tormund had brought up points that needed to be said. If more died then it was on my shoulders and no one else's. There was no running into exile this time. If Westeros fell I would fall with it. This was not just my kingdom, it was my home. I looked at Jon and saw nothing but pity in his eyes.
"Jorah could've chased after the Night King and ended the war." Jon said and Arya glared at him. "But the Night King isn't weak even lacking a dragon. He didn't have a dragon when he killed Viserion. He managed to lure Daenerys and her dragons into his reach. Jorah had just managed to kill Viserion before the Night King fled. I fought him before and it is no easy battle. It is better if Azor Ahai fights the dead at full strength."
Arya looked away as if her own blood had betrayed her. The Stark girl was a fighter and could only truly focus on a problem if there was death. Like Tormund, she was broken but could still wield a sword. The next time our paths crossed with the Night King, she would be on the front lines no matter the cost.
We all turned as Davos walked up with steaming mugs of water. There was not wine or broth to spare. A few brave hunters would be returning shortly with food. The dead took everything they could but still managed to live pieces of wildlife alive. It didn't surprise me as they were fighting a war and could always kill everything once they won. If they won.
I drank the warm liquid and let it scald my throat. Anything to keep me warm. Anything to make sure I had the strength to fight. Jon looked at me and did his best to not look needy. Tomorrow, or the next minute, we could all die. What bliss it would be to embrace my husband one last time. To die in his arms with my cock deep inside him. But we both had to keep our strength up or risk all of Westeros.
"You should get inside." Davos said. "Night will fall soon and it won't be getting any warmer. Whatever you are discussing needs to be finished soon. It will be a right sight if the kings and their most trusted advisors freeze to death."
Jon's advisor was right. In a little over an hour night would fall and the cold would dig deeper into our skins. It would try to creep into our organs and kill us while we slept. At least I had Jon to use for heat and if I died, I'd die happy. I held back a long sigh as this meeting had to come to a close and soon.
"I could've chased after the Night King, but I wouldn't be doing so at full strength." I said. "Arya, if thousands more die because of my actions then you have my permission to kill me. I made the right decision at the moment. I had all of Westeros on my shoulders and did what I thought was best for them."
"I will hold you to your word." Arya said as she finished her drink. "How would you like to die?"
"In whatever manner you see fit."
A sly grin appeared on her face and was gone in the next breath. We were all silent and listened to the wind and the return of Drogon. After the battle he had gone off hunting to regain his strength. I didn't try and restrain him due to the low rations of the army. Hopefully he wouldn't have to go far. In any case I knew he'd return. His days of roaming were done with. While he might still leave my side for days, he would always return.
"It is all well and good that we're still alive," Davos said. "But shouldn't we be concerned with finding the Night King?"
"Where do we start?" Jon asked.
They all looked at me as if my position of Azor Ahai would always allow me to know where the Night King was. I closed my eyes since there would be no convincing them otherwise. I focused on my breathing and my thoughts merged into each other. Thoughts of leaving Longclaw at Bear Island, getting greysclae, and Daenerys' body entwined with mine.
I opened my eyes and shook my head. I couldn't sense the Night King. I wasn't someone like Bran Stark who had been granted a special kind of vision. The only thing that inhabited my mind was myself and not visions of far off places.
"We could contact Bran to find out." Jon said. "He can see where the Night King is and what he's doing."
"It would take too long and Westeros doesn't have the time." I replied. "The longer the Night King lives, the more time he has to make another plan. He only needed the dragon to destroy the Wall."
Drogon's roar could finally be heard and I grimaced. He had helped to kill his only brother and didn't have the satisfaction of killing the one who murdered him. He wanted the Night King in a purer form of hatred than a human could feel. I knew that in the way he walked and looked at me. He begged me with eyes that were full of flames and not tears. The leader of the dead would die or Drogon would destroy everything in his path. There was nothing left for him in this world if I failed.
"We need to follow his trail when he fled the battle." Jon said after a moment. "There are tracks covering up tracks, but his should be a short distance away from the fighting. If that wasn't the case soldiers would've reported seeing him fleeing. We'll do that first thing in the morning."
None of us pointed out how hopeless such an endeavor would be. The wind could blow any tracks away or the animals in the forest would make them fade away. Even the men sent to hunt could accidentally ruin the trail. Yet none of us had any other ideas and we had to keep moving. If we stayed still for too long then our men would doubt us quicker than ever before.
Arya stood up and looked back to camp. No matter how much she appeared as if she were a force of nature far removed from humanity, she was anything but. She could feel pain and fear just like anyone else. It was just life had made her form walls around her emotions. She had seen things no child should ever see. She had done things no child should ever be forced to do. Just like Daenerys. Ever since being exiled from Westeros, I had been given strength by women.
"Is something wrong, Arya?" Jon asked.
"I am afraid we might lose this war." Arya replied. "That we can fight as hard as any Stark and still lose."
"Jon might be dense," Tormund answered. "But he has beaten more impossible odds in the past. Now he has this prophetic figure by his side."
"I can beat the Night King." I reassured Arya. "If I don't then I will have disappointed Daenerys which I do not intend to do."
But what if I couldn't? What if I did everything and still lost? What if the prophecy was talking about humanity's best hope and not the only one who could save Westeros? If the latter were true then I could easily give the task of killing the Night King to someone else. My eyes drifted to Jon and I knew he was Westeros' best hope of survival if I died. He had been raised from the dead once before and I doubted that was an accident. There must be a purpose in his life that even the gods had to admit.
"What are your plans once this is all over?" Davos asked us.
"Adapt to life in Westeros or move back beyond the Wall." Tormund replied. "In this time of war it is easy for us Wildlings to change. After the war it might not be so easy. It all depends on how the crows treat us."
"Go back to Winterfell." Arya said. "I am one of the few Starks to remain alive and I must be a lady. I must ensure the survival of my House."
"You don't look like someone who belongs encased in four walls."
"I don't but that doesn't matter. Father was right."
"You'll make a great lady of whatever House you end up in." Jon reassured her. "I will make sure of it."
Arya nodded and smiled. Her own blood would not betray her. He would make sure that men like Joffrey or Ramsay never touched his sister. Sansa was a lesson to him about men that curses are thrown at.
"I will rule Westeros alongside Jon." I said simply. "Our futures aren't in question."
"I guess it's my turn to give an answer." Davos replied with a sigh. "I have a life to build and I don't know how. My former life of a pirate is over as I've been the advisor to too many kings. But I will not worry until the fighting is done."
All of us turned as one when we heard hurried footsteps in the snow. My hand tightened on Longclaw just as Bronn appeared in view. Usually the man had a sarcastic grin on his face and cockiness in his eyes. Yet now all those usually things were gone and replaced by fear. Jon and I stood up while the others stayed seated.
"What is it?" Jon asked.
"A letter from Lady Sansa Stark." Bronn said and handed the letter to my husband.
Jon read it and his face turned a pale color that would've made him blend in with his Targaryen ancestors. After he was finished he handed the letter to me. I focused on breathing to calm myself down before I dared to read the letter. Both Bronn and Jon were not men who scared easily.
Kings Jon Stark and Jorah Mormont,
It is with deepest regret that I cannot explain more with this letter. The dead in the Crypts of Winterfell have awoken and forced us to flee. I and the survivors will go to the Twins or the Eyrie. Lords Edmund and Robin both have reasons to keep us safe. We would be headed towards Bear Island but there has been no word from Lyanna Mormont for some time.
I pray that this letter finds you.
Lady Sansa Stark
For a few minutes I could do nothing else but hold onto the letter. No word from my cousin could mean she was dead. The last family member I had was gone. House Mormont would die with me as all my children would be Starks. Then there was the fact that Winterfell, a castle that had stood for countless generations, was now destroyed. It could be rebuilt but it would never be the same.
"What is it?" Arya asked.
"I don't know if Sansa is still alive." Jon replied weakly. "The letter merely said she fled Winterfell and headed to either the Twins or the Eyrie. She must have sent the letter shortly after leaving home."
"She can't be dead. Not this close to the end."
Arya was wild and to be a lady would be a burden to her. But she was one of the few remaining Starks and so loyalty would make her play the part she didn't want to. Being the last Lady Stark was more of a burden than that. It would be up to her to make her House both strong and feared. It would be up to her to make sure the legacy of her House didn't fade away.
Then, of course, there was the fact that she would be losing a sister. From Jon's accounts Arya and Sansa hadn't gotten along that well while growing up. She had wanted to fight while Sansa had liked making clothes. Yet they loved each other due to their shared blood.
"I am sorry about Lyanna, Jorah." Arya said. "From what I knew of her she's a strong woman. I doubt she's dead and merely too caught up with the war to send a raven."
"Thank you, Arya." I replied as it was difficult to speak.
My mind was not working nor was my tongue. I wanted to cry out and yet doing so would bring me nothing but shame. The others would understand but I was a king. Others could cry and voice all their emotions, but I couldn't. What would Father say if he found out I had gotten one of own blood killed?
No, I hadn't killed her. I didn't even know when the Night King's army had gone to Bear Island. She could've been killed before Viserion had died a second time. Until I knew when she died, if she had, I would not worry myself with such thoughts.
"We need to go to Bear Island." Jon said as the sun started its journey beyond the horizon. "Lyanna Mormont helped me become King of the North and retake Winterfell. We can't just let her die after all she has done for me."
"And I don't like the thought of betraying my blood." I replied. "I have already caused enough shame to my House, I will not cause more."
I grimaced as I realized how foolish I sounded. Childhood was long ago and now I had to hide my pain. I was not just a man, I was a king. The only reason I had any claim to the Iron Throne was because Jon loved me. I wanted to take my words back but I couldn't. None of us could erase our mistakes.
"No," Jon said with a chuckle and I nodded my head. "We both know we can't. The longer we leave the Night King to roam Westeros, the longer he has time plan a counterattack. After the fight is over I will go find Sansa and you can check on Lyanna."
"You are right." I replied and tried to keep the shame out of my voice. "I want to make sure my cousin still lives, but I won't put the rest of Westeros at risk. I am Azor Ahai and I have a duty set down by the gods. If I fail in killing the Night King, may I never see Daenerys in the next life for I will not deserve her."
We said our good-byes and left for our tents. Ghost started wandering around camp to keep guard. Jon walked next to me as we quickly made our way to our bed. Soon enough our clothes were off and we were curled up next to each other. We didn't make love that night, but we did reassure ourselves with the other's presence. After the Night King was dead we would make love before parting ways to make sure Lyanna and Sansa still lived.
"I am glad Father didn't kill you." Jon said and put a hand on my chest.
"And I'm glad I said yes." I replied and put one of my hands over his.
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