This is a drabble of a fanfic I'm probably never going to write. If I do make it into a full fledged fic it would expand on certain parts.
My eyes opened and I looked at her sleeping form. She was as wild as any creature, yet she stayed by my side. Not out of love, but out of duty for her House. Shortly after the War for the Dawn had reached its conclusion, I was set to marry Arya Stark so an alliance could be solidified between House Stark and House Mormont.
"It's time to go, isn't it." Arya said drowsily as Nymeria howled from outside.
"Yes," I replied slowly.
"It won't be that bad, Jorah."
We kissed lightly on the lips before getting ready for the long journey. The day before had been spent making sure there was someone to run Winterfell while we left for King's Landing. It had also been spent making sure of our travel route as well as finishing up any pressing matters. In other words it had been total chaos.
Arya had quickly grown used to her role, yet she needed help every now and again. It was like teaching Daenerys all over again. A task I didn't mind as much as I should've.
The only thing that kept Arya going was that she would see her brother again. That was the only reason Jon held a yearly feast. It also seemed to be a perverse way to torment me. Though I knew that wasn't at all what the Stark intended me to feel.
"There's nothing to be afraid of." Arya said and put a hand on my arm.
I merely nodded my head and closed my eyes. She was a fierce fighter and tended to have a scowl on her face. Yet with me and her family, she could show a kinder side. She could laugh and joke like any other woman. Her past would always overshadow her, but she had showed a willingness to move forward.
"I will seeing Daenerys again." I replied and my wife had nothing to say.
During times of war going along the King's Road was dangerous. It allowed those of ill intent to wait for powerful people to walk right by them. On this road Daenerys had nearly been killed all because she wanted to make love to Jon. I shook my head at the emotions the memory created in me. I didn't like them. Yet I couldn't deny their truth.
Arya and I held conversations about nothing important as we made our way to King's Landing. We were married but we weren't in love. Our kisses and intimate touches held the warmth of friendship. Neither of us had been crying out for love as we had lost those we wanted to love in the deep winter.
"It's so strange to be somewhere warm." Arya said at one point.
"You lived in Essos for some time." I replied.
"The only thing that gave me strength was the need to gain vengeance for my House."
"Necessity is a strength."
Our conversations all began and ended abruptly. Arya was too excited about seeing Jon to concentrate and I was too fearful of seeing Daenerys to feel anything.
After many days and nights we arrived at King's Landing. I shivered at the warmth as it disturbed me. It reminded me of Daenerys and the memory of her made tears start to form. If not for my wife's hand on mine I wouldn't have been able to control myself.
"Brother!" Arya said as she jumped out of the carriage.
Both her and Nymeria nearly knocked the King over. The humans laughed and the direwolf howled in joy. Ghost was sitting still as I exited the carriage. Their laughter nearly sent me crying again. In the war I had lost more than I should've. My eyes had been opened when they should've stayed closed.
"Jorah." Jon said after he greeted his sibling.
"Your Grace." I replied and my voice broke slightly.
"You don't have to call me King. It's odd when anyone does even after all these years."
I nodded and followed him. He directed his servants to help Arya into her room. These moments alone with him as we walked toward Daenerys never got easier. Luckily there weren't too many years until I wouldn't have to take this walk.
"It's time." Jon said sadly and I nodded.
We remained silent as was our way. This time I wouldn't break down. This time I would remain strong for her. But with each footstep maintaining a calm demeanor became harder. Distracting myself with my surroundings didn't work.
"Are you ready?" Jon asked as he started to open the door.
"Yes." I replied and tried to keep the fear out of my voice.
I was fine up until the point I walked in and looked at her. I fell down and begged for her forgiveness.
"You're the one I should have trusted." Daenerys said. "I shouldn't have been so blind."
Those were the words I had waited to hear for so long. Yet now they filled me with fear. Over the course of the war she had begun to see enemies in shadows. She had driven everyone away from her side. I had tried to deny her madness but it had become hard to do.
"I love you." I told her.
"And you always will." She replied and kissed my lips.
Even in the depths of insanity her smile and kiss made me think of forgoing the plan. It was Tyrion Lannister who had managed to convince me of what needed to be done. He managed to convince me that the woman I loved was dead and had died long ago. I was the only one who could murder her and had to do so for Westeros. I had to tear out my own heart so that others could live another day.
I took out Heartsbane, a gift from Samwell Tarly, and Daenerys ran a finger down its length. The look in her eyes was intoxicating. Before it would've made me nothing but an animal for her to play with. Now it took all my resolve not to fall into that trap. I would always love her, but she had lost herself. This was not her. Not really.
In less than a blink of an eye, my sword killed her. It went from her chest, to her heart, and finally left her body. Her final look was a mixture of regret, anger, and understanding. Or maybe I was imagining things to appease my guilt.
The moment her heartbeat stopped, I pulled out a now flaming sword. Bile threatened to leave me. I had always been destined to meet Daenerys. I had always been destined to fall in love with her. I had always been destined to kill her. I had had no agency in the greatest love I had ever known.
I was Azor Ahai as a cruel joke by the gods.
My body shook but finally I was able to stand. Jon helped me up and without his aid I would've fallen back down. Whenever I was away from here I could push the memories to the back of my mind. But every time I saw her crypt there was no protection for me.
After a moment I walked on my own and put a hand on her crypt.
"I am sorry." I told a body that couldn't hear me.
"I forgive you." Jon replied with the usual words.
My breathing became normal and we walked out of the room. Jon and I started talking with each other. Our footsteps lead us to where Sansa Stark, his wife and queen, was making final preparations for the feast.
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