This chapter has been edited due to content. I made minor edits in the chapter. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
I did my best not to put a hand over Longclaw. I didn't want to appear nervous now. When I had been Daenerys' advisor, my hand had been on my sword to warn off others. Her enemies would know if they dared attack her there would be consequences. Consequences that would happen swiftly before they could blink their eyes. Back then I had also held my hilt because I was nervous. I didn't want anything to happen to my love.
"You came to Winterfell without a Valyrian sword." Sam said nervously in a way that was unique to him. "The only weapon that can kill a White Walker is Valyrian steel. I believe it's safe to assume that the Night King can only be killed by that rare material. When I left my family home, I took my House's ancestral sword. As I am no fighter, I feel that you should have it. I won't have any use for it."
Jon took the sword that was offered to him. He took off my sword and put on Heartsbane. Sam spared a glance at me and I nodded back. I would need to talk to him soon and we could catch up then. Jon hugged Sam and I imagined those same arms around me. Pulling me close into hi-this was a meeting. It wasn't the time for such fantasies.
"The next part of this meeting will be to discuss succession." Jon said. "I know that many of you assume that I will be king. Even without my lineage being known, I was able to rise above my bastard status. I was able to do this due to the loyalty my men had in me. They trusted me numerous times."
Jon paused and I assumed he was gathering the courage needed to state the truth. He was going to tell the others something they might not believe. And even if they did believe him, it could be easily decided to not make me king. I didn't care for power or riches. The only thing I valued was Daenerys. Now she was dead and I could only visit her in my dreams. I would do my part to make sure the living weren't overtaken by the dead. However, I would not seek more power while doing so.
"I also know many of you assume Daenerys picked me as her king." Jon continued. "After we bedded, she declared she didn't love me and said Jorah would be her king. If we are to truly honor our queen's last wishes, Jorah Mormont should be king."
"Jon, I think your fear is getting the better of you." Davos quickly replied. "I don't think you're telling us this because you want to honor Daenerys' wishes. I think you're telling us this so you don't have to be king."
"I think it would only be fair to let Ser Jorah decide if he wants to sit on the Iron Throne."
Jon looked pleadingly at me. He wanted to have the great burden of kingship removed from him. He had never wanted power. Yet if he truly wanted me then he would become king. Everyone looked at me. Brienne, Jaime, Sansa, Varys, and Arya all seemed to think I would accept the position. What person wouldn't? Most were not like Jon and would seek power whenever possible.
"I don't want to rule." I replied. "If I was still able to I'd return to rule Bear Island. And that Lordship I'd only accept because of my duty to my House. Sitting on the Iron Throne means nothing to me. Since I will not take the gift Daenerys offered me, I suggest we look to the line of succession. The only Targaryen besides Daenerys is Jon Stark. The duty falls to him because of his birthright."
Jon sighed and looked around the Great Hall. He didn't want this burden and that made him a good king. One who sought power was likely to abuse it. He didn't have anyone else to give the power to as there was no one with his lineage. There was also no one that was as loved as him. Tyrion or Sansa would make good rulers, but they did not have the love and blood Jon had. Tyrion was an Imp and was not given the respect due to him.
"Ser Jorah is right." Sansa said, voicing her agreement. "Even without a line of succession you should be king. You were able to get peace between the Night's Watch and the Wildlings. You have an ability to get people to follow you. People can tell that you truly care about them and aren't putting on a front. You have Ned's honor and people go towards that. There are so many dishonest people in the world that you give others hope."
"Friends with Wildlings." Jaime drawled. "That is an amazing feat. I never thought I'd hear that about a Northerner. Where are they? Or do they like to keep away from us Crows?"
"They are at Eastwatch by the Sea." I replied. "They are helping with the Night's Watch. They know about the dead. Hardhome was overtaken by the dead and helped convince the Wildlings to go to Castle Black."
I had heard the stories while at Dragonstone. Davos and I had talked about Jon. Back then I was concerned about who Daenerys would take in her bed. He had talked about Hardhome in detail. He was both Jon's had and confidant. His retelling was both honest and sickening. The Night King had just come in and taken over with hardly a scratch. It was no wonder that Jon had become obsessed with defeating the monstrosities.
"So there has been no victory against the dead?" Jaime asked. "Just everyone running away?"
"There was another War for the Dawn." I retorted. "That one was won. There is still hope here."
"We will discuss tactics later." Jon said sternly. "For now we are talking about succession. I think that Ser Jorah should serve the Iron Throne in some capacity. I feel it would be dishonorable to Daenerys' memory otherwise. I propose that I take Jorah Mormont as my husband and king. In this way her wish would be fulfilled."
I knew Jon wasn't doing this just for Daenerys' sake. He wanted me and I wondered if he had lusted after me for longer than I had him. He must not have truly loved Daenerys and I wondered if he loved me. No, I knew he did. He had given me Longclaw and put up with me. He was wooing me unlike Daenerys. With her he didn't go beyond his duties. To me he had given more and more quickly.
Jon's young face seemed much older than mine. He had much more to deal with than I had at his age. He was facing an impossible enemy and yet wouldn't back down. It was no wonder his eyes were always sad. Eyes that I sometimes saw when I was asleep. The beard he wore made him appear even older. I wondered what it would feel like if I ran my fingers through it. I wondered what it would be like running my fingers through his hair. I wondered would it be like to grab his face. Would he try to move from my grasp or give all control to me.
I noticed I was staring much too intently at the Stark. My gaze was powerful enough that even a blind man would notice how I was looking at him. Jon was returning my gaze. His eyes were drifting lazily over my body. From my face to as low as he could politely go. It was exciting and nerve-wracking at the same time to see him look at me as he was.
Why was I enjoying this moment? Why was I enjoying looking at him and him looking at me? I searched for the rage that had almost run away from me. There it was. Now I was angry at falling for my love's killer. I was the one to break the gaze and focused on Tyrion instead. He seemed to have readily picked up on what my look at Jon had meant. Now if only he wouldn't blurt my feelings out. He shook his head and then looked away from me.
"I admire Ser Jorah and all of his accomplishments." Tyrion said. "But you may want to look for someone with a better title. Most people hear his name and think of the man that sold people into slavery. Any nobility is gained from knowing him and the people he has affected."
"They will trust him because they follow me." Jon retorted. "How will he ever regain his honor if we don't give him a chance? How will others know he is worthy to be followed if we don't let him lead?"
"There is a difference between giving him a chance and making him your king. He'll be a general or commander in your army and can prove his worth then."
"I am trying to hono-"
"You are not." I said sternly. "You are thinking of your own needs before those of your people. You have to understand that you sometimes have to sacrifice what you want for the greater good."
I could see Jon struggle not to make a retort. I could guess he was about to tell me I had my own reasons for arguing against his proposal. He knew it had nothing to do with the greater good but my own fear. The battle I had inside myself over what I really wanted and the need to put my guilt on someone else. Yet he was wise enough to not voice his thoughts on this matter. Things would be difficult enough without getting too personal. My own remark was justified in that it was political enough. Any remark Jon would make would have no political significance.
"So, you have anyone in the Seven Kingdoms to choose from." Tyrion said and drank more of his wine. "Anyone will be more than willing to bed you. Some of the more powerful Houses have fallen, but that is of little consequence. I have a feeling that after the dead are defeated, the wheel will be broken. Or, at least, it will start breaking apart. Small Houses could become large and large Houses could become small. Lyanna Mormont has a good political eye for one so young."
"Aye," Davos agreed. "She will become a wise queen once she is older. She might even land the killing blow against the Night King."
"If I choose Lyanna, then there will be no one else to carry on the Mormont name." Jon argued. "Jorah is old and has no children to his name. How certain are we that he will both find someone and have children with them?"
Jon's point was insulting. Yet he was doing it so he could be with me. And it wasn't as if I always said the kindest things to him. I didn't react and looked at Tyrion. The Imp's eyes looked at me as if trying to figure out what I wanted. The truth was I didn't know what I desired. I loathed and loved Jon. I wanted to be with him and to never see him again. Though, in truth, the pull towards the Stark was getting stronger.
"If you are certain, Jon," Tyrion said with a sigh and Davos shook his head. "Then it can be done. The only concern would be who would bear your children. The woman wouldn't need to be of high birth, but it would help. Of course Jorah becoming your husband is all dependent on what he thinks."
Tyrion was kind in treating me like an active participant instead of forcing me to marry. It didn't help that I was unsure how to respond to Jon's request. It was true that I loved and admired the man. He was young and hadn't let himself be tainted by the world. While he had an obsessive need to defeat the dead, he also cared about people. He didn't fake kindness like so many I had met. Jon was also desirable in a more sensual manner. I could see why Daenerys would have been attracted to the idea of him.
"I am assuming that me having...a certain kind of relation would not be damned." I said and looked around the room.
"Of course not." Arya scoffed. "There are more important matters to attend to. Who cares who you ****?"
"My sister is right." Sansa said with a barely hidden grin. "Besides, you would be marrying Jon Stark. If anyone had a problem then they would be too scared to say anything. Once we win against the dead, your marriage with Jon won't be despised by the people of Westeros."
I had heard what Arya could be like. It was amusing to see her in person. She would've seemed arrogant except for the way she held herself. She was a deadly force of nature that had few equals. If she looked arrogant to others it was only because they didn't read her right. There had to be a kindness to her or else she wouldn't have returned to Winterfell. She wouldn't have helped with killing Littlefinger if she cared nothing for her family.
"I don't know." I said calmly. "The offer is intriguing. I know many would say yes without thought. It isn't everyday that a man like me gets this chance. I should be thinking of Westeros or Daenerys, but I'm not. I know why Jon is asking me and it's not because of those factors. So I should look at this choice as a very personal one. Before arriving at Winterfell he asked me to be his king, though I didn't know the full implications at the time. I've been debating if I love him or not. I need just a little more time to sort out my feelings for me. If he chooses another during that time, I will understand."
"I won't." Jon replied.
No, he wouldn't. He was fighting hard for me. Someone like him wouldn't give up until he got a yes or no. That meant I would have to figure out my feelings for him quickly. If I didn't then I might be the cause of unrest throughout Westeros. If Jon died during the war there would be no one else that could succeed him. Even though I loathed the idea, I had to consider it.
The other things on the agenda were minor compared to Jon's revelation and declaration of love for me. I focused on what was being said but still allowed my mind to wander. I would not bring up my vision or the knowledge that I might be Azor Ahai at this meeting. I didn't know for certain if I was the last hope for the living or if Daenerys had been wrong. It all depended on what powers she now possessed in the land of the dead.
The vision came back to me and I remembered how odd the voices had sounded. They were different and yet harmonious. I wondered what the voices actually were. Maybe they were things much too complicated for my mind to understand. It could be the voices were made by Daenerys as that was the point of me meeting her after death. How she had acted, there was no doubt that she had wanted to connect with and fuck me. Yet whatever powers had allowed me to talk with her demanded that she tell me that I am Azor Ahai reborn.
"Ser Jorah, what do you think?" Brienne asked.
"We don't know how the dead think." I replied. "Their goal may simply be to destroy us. In any case we shouldn't become too certain of how they think. What we should be focusing on are the areas that are most valuable to us."
"And if we ever want to go on the offensive?"
"Once they start attacking we'll their strategy better."
"And if we don't?"
Yes, Azor Ahai, what will you do? This conversation made me feel that it was highly unlikely I was the legendary hero reborn. Yet even if I wasn't I could still play a sizable part in the War for the Dawn. Especially if I did take Jon's offer to sit beside him on the Iron Throne. To be both his king and lover.
"Then that is the time to take a chance." I replied.
"Winterfell would be a key location for them to strike." Arya said. "Even if they don't care for it, they know it will unnerve us. By the time they get this far they'll know how much Winterfell means to the North. If they don't already. I don't know if they'll understand Jon's connection to it, but it is a key target."
"I think it's safe to say this meeting is adjourned." Davos said. "I suggest we all get some rest for the battles ahead."
"So which one will you go after?" Tyrion teased as everyone started to leave.
"You show too much interest in my life, Tyrion." I said and started to leave.
I saw Jon start to come towards me and for a moment I thought of staying. I thought that I'd let him come to me. Maybe I'd even feel his sheets covering me after we had made love tonight. The idea quickly left my mind as I smelled Daenerys' burning corpse. Instead of staying I made my way to Sam. It wasn't until the Great Hall was long behind us that I caught up to him.
"Ser Jorah Mormont." Sam said with a smile on his face. "I'm glad to see you still well. Do you need me for something?"
"Yes," I replied solemnly. "Like healing my greyscale, I believe you're the only one that can help me with this matter."
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