This chapter has been edited due to content. I made minor edits in the chapter. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
A knocking on the door woke me up. I opened my eyes and looked to see if Daenerys was still with me. But, of course, she wasn't by my side. Even if my dream had taken me to a place where the living could converse with the dead, Khaleesi couldn't follow me back. I held back a groan and looked at the door. I wanted to be with my love and forget about this war. Westeros didn't matter to me as much as being by my queen's side.
"Come in." I said and was surprised to see Sansa.
It was odd for someone of such high rank to visit me as she was. The early morning sunlight came through the window and highlighted her most prominent features. Her hair seemed to be on fire as she closed the door. After a moment I realized it wasn't so odd that she would visit me. She and I had connected the moment we locked eyes on each other. Though, truth be told, it had been more of a physical connection than any kind of emotional one.
"Lady Stark, I wasn't expecting your presence." I said with embarrassment as she made her way to my bed. "If I had known I would've gotten dressed first."
"Ser Jorah, nothing you show me will be offensive." Sansa replied. "I've seen much worse than barely clothed men."
She stopped a few feet from my bed. My **** was hard this morning and I didn't want to risk her seeing my member. Even though she said my body wouldn't offend her, I didn't need to risk it. I pulled my covers even further over me to minimize the risk of her seeing something she shouldn't. She was a lady, after all.
"Have you...have you heard about what happened to me?" Sansa asked.
"I know you were abused by Joffrey Barathen and Ramsay Bolton." I answered. "I know that you learned from Littlefinger and have become a formidable foe."
"I remember thinking I wanted to marry Joffrey. With him I could be the queen of the Seven Kingdoms and...it was a foolish girl's dream."
"You were young and in love, that makes all of us foolish. You had no concept of the true terrors of the world. You didn't know how cruel men truly were. You weren't dumb for falling in love with a prince."
Sansa smiled weakly at me but I could tell she didn't believe me. Maybe she was right to look at herself so critically as I didn't know exactly what she had gone through. In any case I wouldn't blame her for what she had done before. What mattered was what she was doing now. I, myself, had changed much from my younger years to the present.
"I trusted Littlefinger." Sansa said with disgust. "I followed him to escape King's Landing. Then he decided to marry me off to Ramsay Bolton. That monster raped me every night I was with him. When I saw Littlefinger again he acted sorry and told me he didn't know how bad Ramsay actually was. The sad part is, I think I believe he was unaware of who I was being married off to."
"How did Littlefinger die?" I asked with more anger than I intended.
"He tried to say I was lying when I told a crowd of his crimes. I didn't trust everything to Bran and provided my own proof. In the end, Arya slit his throat."
"You admired him?"
The only reason for such a monster to die so cleanly was that she had feelings for the man. Or at least she pitied him. I would reprimand her on her feelings but I knew how fickle feelings could be. It wasn't my place to judge her. Especially since I didn't truly know her.
"He taught me all I know." Sansa replied after a moment. "He also loved me in his own deluded way."
"Is there anything else you need to tell me?" I asked.
"There has hardly been any man I have been with that has treated me kindly. Tyrion Lannister was the only one to show kindness to me when we were married."
"Tyrion is hard to deal with but has a good heart. When I arrived on Dragonstone he took it upon himself to provide me company. Though the majority of the time seemed to be full of him mourning that Khaleesi would never love him."
"Why do you call Daenerys that?"
"Khaleesi? When I first met her she was being married to Khal Drogo. A Khal is the Dothraki word for king. Or at least that's a decent enough translation. A Khaleesi is the Dothraki word for queen. Daenerys preferred that title in her younger years. Now calling her that goes beyond a mere title to a sign of endearment."
Daenerys was more Khaleesi than queen. The power and fervor she had was beyond a mere queen. No royalty of Westeros could match what she had. It took me a moment to realize that Sansa was looking at me intently. Her eyes going every part of me that she could find. It was embarrassing and thrilling all at the same time. But what would Jon think if I made love to his sister?
"Sansa," I said to try and focus her attention. "Did you come in here to talk about the past?"
"No," She replied as if she had just woken from a dream. "There's a meeting. Jon was up all night as he couldn't sleep after what Bran told him."
"What did Bran tell him?"
"Bran and Sam I should say. My younger brother can see the past and the maester in training has access to a very rare text. What they found out you'll hear about in the meeting."
"Samwell Tarly?"
"Yes, Jon's friend in the Night's Watch."
"I know him. He's the one that cured my greyscale."
"Can I see what's left of it?"
I nodded. I then took off my shirt and allowed her to look. She was aware of what I wanted, or at least what I thought I wanted, and didn't try to touch the scars. Sansa didn't look at me with pity in her eyes. She seemed amazed by the scars as if I had been on a great adventure. One of the adventures that were told to young children. An adventure where the distinction between good and evil was clear. She would know better than to believe in those stories, though I wouldn't blame her for still enjoying them. Stories like that gave people hope for the future.
"If there is a meeting I need to get dressed." I told Sansa.
"Do you want me to leave the room?" She asked.
"No, all I need for you to do is look the other way."
She turned around and I waited a few minutes to make sure she didn't try to sneak a glance at me. I wanted her here not because I lusted after her, but because she could distract me from my thoughts. Thoughts that sounded like Daenerys' voice. This wasn't the time to slowly go into madness.
"Did Jon tell you what Daenerys told him?" Sansa said as I started to get dressed.
"I don't think he was entirely honest." I replied. "In his defense, I wasn't entirely open to whatever he was going to say."
"After Daenerys had sex with him she found she didn't love him. A good thing, too. I don't know if the North would remain stable if she had married him. She also declared you the true king of Westeros."
"The true king of Westeros?"
My dream must not have been a dream. I had no thought that Daenerys had wanted me to rule beside her. When Jon had talked with me before I had merely thought that he was nervous about becoming the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms. This would explain during the first meeting with Jaime that he had looked at me. He had been nervous about telling anyone the truth. Before he had been able to gather up enough courage Davos had interrupted him.
Did that mean other things the vision had told me were true? Was I truly Azor Ahai?
"I think you'd make a great king." Sansa replied. "Jon talked about you the other night and I trust his judgment."
"Did he also talk about...about the thing he mentioned on the way to Winterfell?" I asked too embarrassed to state the question clearly.
"No, he didn't."
"I guess that's a good thing."
I turned around to see Sansa looking extremely confused. While I thought we could become friends, I didn't want to tell her about Jon's proposal to me. Maybe she and others wouldn't mind as there were more important things to worry about. But to have even the possibility of being shamed for liking men was enough for me to remain silent. Besides, Jon hadn't told his own blood. Why should I tell someone I had just met?
"You're interested in me, aren't you?" I asked.
After some time had passed I might decide to take another. And why not someone who I could talk with like this? Someone who opened up to me about their past. Someone I felt comfortable with although this was an extremely awkward situation.
"I haven't lain with a man in any way that was pleasing." Sansa said grimly. "Ramsay was the only one who has fucked me. And when he did he never cared for my own pleasure. He only cared for the joy he got when I was in pain. He raped me night after night. I think I want you but I'm not sure. I don't know what would happen if I ever found you above me. I'm afraid that I would panic."
"You shouldn't feel ashamed for panicking." I replied as I finished dressing. "If you didn't panic I would be extremely worried. I'm clothed now."
Lady Stark turned around and looked at me. There were tears going down her cheeks. She was doing her best to stay strong even though she felt so weak. I took her in my arms and hugged her. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and cried loudly. My hands wanted to go through her hair to try and calm her down, but I resisted. That would show her, even if only in the very back of her mind, that I wanted her as more than a friend. My emotions were drawing me to both Jon and Sansa. It wouldn't be fair to either to love them when I didn't know what I wanted.
"I'm sorry, Ser Jorah." Sansa said and took a few steps back, her hands furiously trying to get rid of all traces of tears.
"I've seen much worse than young maidens crying." I replied and she managed a small smile.
It was good to see her smile. Though the smile quickly faded to seem as if it had never existed. Her face became stoic and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't figure out her emotions. That was a very good ability for one who was to rule. It wouldn't do for your enemies to be able to tell what your next move would be.
"Ser Jorah, are you ready to go to the meeting?" Sansa asked with warmth in her words.
I nodded and we made our way to the Great Hall. I had visited Winterfell before, but it had been so long since my last visit. It seemed like I was visiting for the first time. Jon sat at the head of the table while Arya sat on his left, Bran to her left, and the others at other tables. Jaime, Brienne, Davos, Missandei, Grey Worm, Varys, Tyrion, Sam, and myself were all that had been allowed to the meeting. Without looking at me Sansa made her way to sit to the right of her brother. I took my place at a table so I would be as close to the Starks as I could.
"So you're after Sansa too?" Tyrion whispered faintly.
He nearly laughed when I glared at him. I wasn't pursuing her at the moment. Though nothing in the future was set. Maybe later I would pursue her. But this morning she had come to me without my asking. She was seeking me and not the other way around. I knew telling Tyrion the truth would do no good. He would believe whatever he wanted no matter the facts.
"I am glad that you are all gathered here." Jon said with great authority in his voice. "We are all suffering the loss of Queen Daenerys Targaryen. Some of us are suffering more than others. I will start the meeting not with who will succeed her but my own heritage. Lord Eddard Stark promised to tell me who my mother was once I took the black. He died and so I thought the truth lost to me. My brother Bran Stark and my friend Samwell Tarly managed to find the truth."
From the looks of everyone in the room, it was only the Starks and Sam who knew the truth of Jon's heritage. There was a tension in the room as the silence went on. I didn't know who Jon's mother could be. She must have been beautiful to produce a son like him. Maybe his mother was a Valyrian as the House was known for its beauty.
"Lord Eddard was not my father." Jon said. "My father was Rhaegar Targaryen. He married Lyanna Stark, my mother, in a secret ceremony. I'm not a bastard and my name isn't Jon. My name is Jaehaerys Targaryen."
Tyrion was the first to make any sound. He chuckled lightly before he was able to stop himself. Of course he would be laughing at Jon accidentally committing incest. I highly doubted that this would be the last time the Imp would find amusement in that fact. He would probably go years making jokes about it until he grew bored.
So Jon did have the blood of Old Valyria and I hadn't been imagining his beauty. It was just that his Valyrian blood came from his father's side. Daenerys had mentioned that he had been able to touch Drogon. Tyrion had mentioned the dragons had flown low over Jon when the man arrived. That all made sense as the dragons could sense the bastard's blood.
It was funny, in a way, that I found myself drawn to Targaryens after my second wife rejected me. In Robert's Rebellion I had fought against Daenerys' House and helped to bring it down from power. But why would I react differently as I had thought Lyanna kidnapped by Rhaegar. But if a man such as Jon didn't mention her kidnapping, that must not have happened. I had killed people over a lie.
"I will always be a Stark." Jon continued. "I might have Targaryen blood in me, but it is my mother's side that I have always honored. That will never change. I will go by Jon Stark and honor my royal lineage that way. Not by embracing myself as a Targaryen, but by embracing my mother who died giving birth to me. Does anyone disagree?"
"Only a fool would disagree." I replied and looked at everyone in the room. "There is no denying that he has the honor Eddard had. There is also no denying that he is drawn to the North. If I had just met him and knew nothing of his past, I would assume him a Stark of Winterfell."
"Ser Jorah is right." Tyrion agreed. "Jon may have Targaryen blood, but his Stark blood flows much thicker. It would be pure insanity to declare him anything but a Stark."
I saw Jon looking at me and I looked away. If I looked at his too much I would be drawn to them like a moth to a flame. I might even take up his offer on a proposal. The dream I had had was no dream and Daenerys was still alive. That fact made me feel more confused about my feelings for Jon. Feelings that no longer were content to stay hidden. That didn't mean I would embrace them, though.
"We do not expect all of Westeros to accept Jon's heritage and so we will confirm it by yet another mean." Varys said calmly. "Howland Reed was at the Tower of Joy when Eddard watched his sister die. He will be able to confirm the truth of Jon's lineage."
Yes, not all would so blindly accept Jon's true heritage. It was strange that Jon would risk the truth being known. Sansa, with her brilliant political mind, must have decided it was for the best. She must have thought that the Northerners would be content with their own on the Iron Throne. There was also the fact that some wanted a Targaryen restoration and would be pleased that a true born was on the Iron Throne. Any change to his name would most likely be discussed after the war. I was sure that Sansa could convince him to change it.
"I assume you are sending a raven to Howland." I said. "How long until he is able to come here or respond about why he is absent?"
"A raven was sent out shortly before this meeting." Varys replied. "As for how long it will take, I am unsure."
I nodded and looked at Jon. In my mind he would never be Jaehaerys Targaryen. That name did not seem to fit the man that had gone beyond the Wall. The name didn't seem to fit the man who had risen from a lowly bastard to a respected king. Later I could discuss how he felt about finding out where he really came from. Simply talking with him wouldn't ensure I would accept his proposal. What it would ensure was the hatred he didn't deserve went away quicker.
No comments:
Post a Comment