Friday, July 29, 2022

To Die For You If Need Be Chapter 15: Setting Sail

This is a Game of Thrones fic. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.

Daenerys Targaryen

I sat up quickly the moment I woke. Tears were going down my cheeks as I thought back to the dream. The dream was so wonderful that I never wanted for it to end. In that dream I had never smothered Drogo since the mistake that paralyzed him never happened. In that dream Jorah hadn't been cursed with greyscale because I had never exiled him.

My arms wrapped around myself in the morning light. It was a vain attempt to make myself happy as Drogo would be dead no matter what I did. I had thought that he was nothing more than a pleasant memory but...but the wound of his loss ran deep. Much deeper than I had thought possible. How many things had I done out of pain without realizing it?

While we had eventually grown a deep love for each other, our meeting hadn't been romantic. Viserys had sold me off as a bride to Khal Drogo in an attempt to get funding for an army to retake the Iron Throne. At first I had been nothing but an animal for the needs of men.

But after...after something changed. I was no longer just a vessel for Drogo to enact his desires, I had become his equal. If it were in his power, he would give me the world. He had shown me the strength I had deep inside of myself. He had also killed my brother and I was glad for the loss. No longer would that monster hunt me. His name would soon vanish from history.

"Drogo." I whispered.

What would he think of his khaleesi? Had I made him proud? He hadn't been able to give me the world and so I had taken charge of my fate instead. My child that I was closest to was named after the first man I had ever truly loved. Drogon was a constant reminder of my first husband's strength and love.

Once the tears stopped I wearily got out of bed. The sound of waves crashing onto the cliffs was distant but still pleasant. It was just peaceful enough to allow my mind to accept the unpleasant present. Soon I would have to see Ellaria Sand depart to Dorne and hope that Tyrion's plan worked. Not only was I afraid of losing allies but she was a good woman. She was strong and had risen far above her rank. Though I hoped to never imitate an act of revenge like she had.

But hadn't I already?

I had burned the witch who cursed Drogo alive. She had suffered so much from the Dothraki that, of course, my one act of kindness wasn't enough to rid her from a past of pain. But at least I had grown since then and would not fall so blindly in search of revenge.

What would have happened if Drogo had survived?

Jorah would have never become my husband. Drogo would never have taken the Mormont as a lover. He would also have never allowed another man to **** me. That dream of a perfect union was never to be. Not even if Drogo had survived. Dothraki culture would have never allowed it to happen unless Drogo considered me nothing but a place to put his ****.

I chose my outfit for the day and started to put it on. Marrying Drogo had lead me to embracing the Dothraki. Embracing the Dothraki had lead me to realizing my true strength. Without their help I would have never became the ruler I had. It wasn't just my three dragons that people respected, it was me.

Drogon for Drogo, Rhaegal for Rhaegar, and Viserion for Viserys. Maybe I shouldn't have honored my abusive brother so but...he was still family. It could be that Viserion represented everything my brother could have been. I loathed Viserys but he was also a broken creature that was too far gone for pity. Or, in some odd way, did I pity him?

A glance at my reflection in the mirror reassured me that I looked like a queen. None of my pain and worry remained on my face. My face was one that armies would fight and die for. My face was one that could command dragons. I was strong and no one could take away the fire buried deep within my skin. Deep within my heart.

I walked and opened the door to my room and three servants came in. They would clean and make sure there was nothing to disturb my sleep tonight. Would they find my tears? There must be many secrets they had to keep. My tears wouldn't make them take undue notice. Hopefully.

"Missandei," I said to my friend as I started to walk beside her. "You slept well?"

She seemed so happy that she nearly didn't notice me. But once I started walking beside her she slowed down. Never before had I seen her look as happy as she did now. After a moment both of our footsteps mirrored each other.

"Grey Worm was in my bed last night." Missandei replied.

It took only a glance and smile from my friend to tell me what had happened. In reply I gave her the same glance and smile. Grey Worm had been raised to kill and everything else had been torn from him. Yet him and Missandei were in love to the point they had finally ******.

"I was worried that it would never happen." I finally said as more people walked around us. "You deserve happiness. But I wonder...but I don't want to be rude..."

"He does everything a man should." Missandei replied. "It doesn't matter at all that some would find him lacking."

It was good that Grey Worm wasn't about to go into battle. The few men remaining at Casterly Rock would hardly be a challenge for a man such as him. And soon after Tyrion's plan the Unsullied could return to his love. It would be good to see both Grey Worm and Missandei happy. They deserved happiness after living such hard lives.

I took note of those who were going to Dorne. Most looked excited to be going home and I envied them. I never had a home and would never have one. While I would sit on the Iron Throne one day, it wouldn't be for some desire to return home but instead for a sense of duty. My ancestors had conquered Westeros and made King's Landing the heart of their kingdom. What Targaryen would I be if I allowed another House to rule? Especially when the one who sat on the Iron Throne was Cersei Lannister.

Viserion roared loudly before landing somewhere in the distance. A few men shivered at the sound while the others didn't react at all. They were concerned with carrying supplies or making sure the supplies would last the trip. Now there was no place that was not full of activity.

I looked up briefly and saw Drogon and Rhaegal flying in circles. They would want to go to Dorne merely to truly stretch their wings. If they felt like me, they wanted to be free. They wanted to do something instead of just waiting.

Nymeria did not look pleased as she observed those preparing to sail for Dorne. She had a pose and looks that could fool a person into feeling safe around her. Yet she was just as deadly as any of her sisters. She looked at me and I felt nervous. It was highly unlikely she would attack me and was just upset about Ellaria's orders.

Ellaria had ordered Nymeria to stay on Dragonstone. It seemed a strange thing for the princess to do. Nymeria could be remaining to kill me when I least expected or watch over me. The latter made more sense as then Ellaria could better understand me if I ever turned on her. The game of thrones was not played by the weak of heart and betrayal could happen at any moment.

Or could it be that Nymeria was here for a different reason? If I were friends with her then she'd be honest in her response to me. But I couldn't trust any words that left her lips concerning her mother's reasons for forcing her to remain on the island.

"Your Grace," Nymeria said as I walked over to her. "Is there something I could help you with?"

"I am just here to make sure that Ellaria isn't stressed when leaving." I replied simply and noted that Missandei stayed a few feet behind me.

"Are you sure that Tyrion's plan will work?"

"I wouldn't have agreed with his plan if there was a large chance of failure."

"So this could be the last time I see my family?"

"I doubt so. There is not much chance that Euron will sail far from where he is now. Ellaria isn't announcing her departure and so he won't catch wind of the news until it's too late."

"And if he finds out about her return to Dorne before she arrives?"

"Yara will either have killed Euron or he'll be distracted tormenting her."

Nymeria nodded and I felt a chill run down my spine. There was no compassion in her eyes about Yara's fate. Her only concern was for her family. I hoped that deep down inside of her there was a part that cared for Yara. Though it was understandable that she would care more for her family as they were the only ones she could truly count on. If it came between the future of Westeros or Nymeria's fate, I would choose the former every time.

The activity around us was dying down. I gave a brief nod to Nymeria before making my way down to the beach. Once I started walking Missandei took her place to my right and Nymeria went to my left. I could have told Nymeria to walk ahead but that would be rude. It could also be deadly if she were here to murder me. Better to make her feel welcome to lessen her reasons for killing me.

"House Targaryen was never able to conquer Dorne." Nymeria said proudly.

"No, my ancestors weren't and I have no desire to." I replied. "Princess Ellaria is a loyal ally and so I won't have to worry about her."

"What about the next prince or princess of Dorne?"

"I trust Ellaria to choose an heir that shares her loyalties."

Our conversation was cut short once we arrived on the beach. A few small boats with supplies were going to the ships. Ellaria, the Sand Snakes, Olenna Tyrell, and the Greyjoys still remained on the beach. Unlike those under them, they needed to remain for a small ceremony.

"Princess Ellaria Sand, I am more than grateful for your help." I began. "Yara and Theon Greyjoy, I appreciate the sacrifices you'll endure to keep Ellaria safe. Olenna Tyrell, you will be missed but I understand your need to return home."

"I'm sure you'll miss me, Your Grace." Olenna retorted. "And even though I won't be able to add to your armada, I will provide you with whatever resources I can."

Before the rest left, Nymeria spent a moment talking with her mother and sisters. I remained silent and acted as if I couldn't see them. This could be the Sand Snake's last moment with her family. This could be the last memory she had of them. To help give her privacy, I started walking along the beach and watched the ships slowly start to leave.

I stood still and only looked up when my children made noise. Eventually everyone but myself and a few Dothraki remained on the beach. As my duties were done for now, I made my way to the cliffs where my children liked to land. It could take them a few hours to land but I would wait.

On my way to the cliffs I saw Tyrion. There must have been something in my eyes that made him start walking the opposite way. I should stop and talk with him but...but I needed a moment to myself. I needed a brief moment in time where I was just a woman.

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