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Daenerys Targaryen
I
sat up quickly the moment I woke. Tears were going down my cheeks as I
thought back to the dream. The dream was so wonderful that I never
wanted for it to end. In that dream I had never smothered Drogo since
the mistake that paralyzed him never happened. In that dream Jorah
hadn't been cursed with greyscale because I had never exiled him.
My
arms wrapped around myself in the morning light. It was a vain attempt
to make myself happy as Drogo would be dead no matter what I did. I had
thought that he was nothing more than a pleasant memory but...but the
wound of his loss ran deep. Much deeper than I had thought possible. How
many things had I done out of pain without realizing it?
While
we had eventually grown a deep love for each other, our meeting hadn't
been romantic. Viserys had sold me off as a bride to Khal Drogo in an
attempt to get funding for an army to retake the Iron Throne. At first I
had been nothing but an animal for the needs of men.
But
after...after something changed. I was no longer just a vessel for Drogo
to enact his desires, I had become his equal. If it were in his power,
he would give me the world. He had shown me the strength I had deep
inside of myself. He had also killed my brother and I was glad for the
loss. No longer would that monster hunt me. His name would soon vanish
from history.
"Drogo." I whispered.
What would he think of
his khaleesi? Had I made him proud? He hadn't been able to give me the
world and so I had taken charge of my fate instead. My child that I was
closest to was named after the first man I had ever truly loved. Drogon
was a constant reminder of my first husband's strength and love.
Once
the tears stopped I wearily got out of bed. The sound of waves crashing
onto the cliffs was distant but still pleasant. It was just peaceful
enough to allow my mind to accept the unpleasant present. Soon I would
have to see Ellaria Sand depart to Dorne and hope that Tyrion's plan
worked. Not only was I afraid of losing allies but she was a good woman.
She was strong and had risen far above her rank. Though I hoped to
never imitate an act of revenge like she had.
But hadn't I already?
I
had burned the witch who cursed Drogo alive. She had suffered so much
from the Dothraki that, of course, my one act of kindness wasn't enough
to rid her from a past of pain. But at least I had grown since then and
would not fall so blindly in search of revenge.
What would have happened if Drogo had survived?
Jorah
would have never become my husband. Drogo would never have taken the
Mormont as a lover. He would also have never allowed another man to ****
me. That dream of a perfect union was never to be. Not even if Drogo
had survived. Dothraki culture would have never allowed it to happen
unless Drogo considered me nothing but a place to put his ****.
I
chose my outfit for the day and started to put it on. Marrying Drogo
had lead me to embracing the Dothraki. Embracing the Dothraki had lead
me to realizing my true strength. Without their help I would have never
became the ruler I had. It wasn't just my three dragons that people
respected, it was me.
Drogon for Drogo, Rhaegal for Rhaegar, and
Viserion for Viserys. Maybe I shouldn't have honored my abusive brother
so but...he was still family. It could be that Viserion represented
everything my brother could have been. I loathed Viserys but he was also
a broken creature that was too far gone for pity. Or, in some odd way,
did I pity him?
A glance at my reflection in the mirror reassured
me that I looked like a queen. None of my pain and worry remained on my
face. My face was one that armies would fight and die for. My face was
one that could command dragons. I was strong and no one could take away
the fire buried deep within my skin. Deep within my heart.
I
walked and opened the door to my room and three servants came in. They
would clean and make sure there was nothing to disturb my sleep tonight.
Would they find my tears? There must be many secrets they had to keep.
My tears wouldn't make them take undue notice. Hopefully.
"Missandei," I said to my friend as I started to walk beside her. "You slept well?"
She
seemed so happy that she nearly didn't notice me. But once I started
walking beside her she slowed down. Never before had I seen her look as
happy as she did now. After a moment both of our footsteps mirrored each
other.
"Grey Worm was in my bed last night." Missandei replied.
It
took only a glance and smile from my friend to tell me what had
happened. In reply I gave her the same glance and smile. Grey Worm had
been raised to kill and everything else had been torn from him. Yet him
and Missandei were in love to the point they had finally ******.
"I
was worried that it would never happen." I finally said as more people
walked around us. "You deserve happiness. But I wonder...but I don't
want to be rude..."
"He does everything a man should." Missandei replied. "It doesn't matter at all that some would find him lacking."
It
was good that Grey Worm wasn't about to go into battle. The few men
remaining at Casterly Rock would hardly be a challenge for a man such as
him. And soon after Tyrion's plan the Unsullied could return to his
love. It would be good to see both Grey Worm and Missandei happy. They
deserved happiness after living such hard lives.
I took note of
those who were going to Dorne. Most looked excited to be going home and I
envied them. I never had a home and would never have one. While I would
sit on the Iron Throne one day, it wouldn't be for some desire to
return home but instead for a sense of duty. My ancestors had conquered
Westeros and made King's Landing the heart of their kingdom. What
Targaryen would I be if I allowed another House to rule? Especially when
the one who sat on the Iron Throne was Cersei Lannister.
Viserion
roared loudly before landing somewhere in the distance. A few men
shivered at the sound while the others didn't react at all. They were
concerned with carrying supplies or making sure the supplies would last
the trip. Now there was no place that was not full of activity.
I
looked up briefly and saw Drogon and Rhaegal flying in circles. They
would want to go to Dorne merely to truly stretch their wings. If they
felt like me, they wanted to be free. They wanted to do something
instead of just waiting.
Nymeria did not look pleased as she
observed those preparing to sail for Dorne. She had a pose and looks
that could fool a person into feeling safe around her. Yet she was just
as deadly as any of her sisters. She looked at me and I felt nervous. It
was highly unlikely she would attack me and was just upset about
Ellaria's orders.
Ellaria had ordered Nymeria to stay on
Dragonstone. It seemed a strange thing for the princess to do. Nymeria
could be remaining to kill me when I least expected or watch over me.
The latter made more sense as then Ellaria could better understand me if
I ever turned on her. The game of thrones was not played by the weak of
heart and betrayal could happen at any moment.
Or could it be
that Nymeria was here for a different reason? If I were friends with her
then she'd be honest in her response to me. But I couldn't trust any
words that left her lips concerning her mother's reasons for forcing her
to remain on the island.
"Your Grace," Nymeria said as I walked over to her. "Is there something I could help you with?"
"I
am just here to make sure that Ellaria isn't stressed when leaving." I
replied simply and noted that Missandei stayed a few feet behind me.
"Are you sure that Tyrion's plan will work?"
"I wouldn't have agreed with his plan if there was a large chance of failure."
"So this could be the last time I see my family?"
"I
doubt so. There is not much chance that Euron will sail far from where
he is now. Ellaria isn't announcing her departure and so he won't catch
wind of the news until it's too late."
"And if he finds out about her return to Dorne before she arrives?"
"Yara will either have killed Euron or he'll be distracted tormenting her."
Nymeria
nodded and I felt a chill run down my spine. There was no compassion in
her eyes about Yara's fate. Her only concern was for her family. I
hoped that deep down inside of her there was a part that cared for Yara.
Though it was understandable that she would care more for her family as
they were the only ones she could truly count on. If it came between
the future of Westeros or Nymeria's fate, I would choose the former
every time.
The activity around us was dying down. I gave a brief
nod to Nymeria before making my way down to the beach. Once I started
walking Missandei took her place to my right and Nymeria went to my
left. I could have told Nymeria to walk ahead but that would be rude. It
could also be deadly if she were here to murder me. Better to make her
feel welcome to lessen her reasons for killing me.
"House Targaryen was never able to conquer Dorne." Nymeria said proudly.
"No,
my ancestors weren't and I have no desire to." I replied. "Princess
Ellaria is a loyal ally and so I won't have to worry about her."
"What about the next prince or princess of Dorne?"
"I trust Ellaria to choose an heir that shares her loyalties."
Our
conversation was cut short once we arrived on the beach. A few small
boats with supplies were going to the ships. Ellaria, the Sand Snakes,
Olenna Tyrell, and the Greyjoys still remained on the beach. Unlike
those under them, they needed to remain for a small ceremony.
"Princess
Ellaria Sand, I am more than grateful for your help." I began. "Yara
and Theon Greyjoy, I appreciate the sacrifices you'll endure to keep
Ellaria safe. Olenna Tyrell, you will be missed but I understand your
need to return home."
"I'm sure you'll miss me, Your Grace."
Olenna retorted. "And even though I won't be able to add to your armada,
I will provide you with whatever resources I can."
Before the
rest left, Nymeria spent a moment talking with her mother and sisters. I
remained silent and acted as if I couldn't see them. This could be the
Sand Snake's last moment with her family. This could be the last memory
she had of them. To help give her privacy, I started walking along the
beach and watched the ships slowly start to leave.
I stood still
and only looked up when my children made noise. Eventually everyone but
myself and a few Dothraki remained on the beach. As my duties were done
for now, I made my way to the cliffs where my children liked to land. It
could take them a few hours to land but I would wait.
On my way
to the cliffs I saw Tyrion. There must have been something in my eyes
that made him start walking the opposite way. I should stop and talk
with him but...but I needed a moment to myself. I needed a brief moment
in time where I was just a woman.
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