To Die For You If Need Be Chapter 14: The One Left Behind

This is a Game of Thrones fic. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.

Nymeria "Nym" Sand

I followed my siblings and mother as they walked along Dragonstone. It was becoming easier not to shiver when one of the Targaryen's dragons roared. The sound still felt like the world was breaking apart, though. Since we were her allies the dragons would not attack us. Though they were still animals which meant they could change their minds at any moment.

Dragons were powerful but they must still be animals. They must still care more about their own instincts than who their 'mother' cared for.

Ellaria stopped at a place that seemed to be far removed from anywhere else on the island. There were large boulders that would stop others from easily seeing us and uneven ground that would force people to concentrate more on walking than on us.

Obara, Tyene, and myself formed a half-circle in front of our mother. She wasn't the one who birthed all of us but, at the present, the title would fit her well. Like a mother Ellaria trusted us and taught us. Or at least taught us what amounted to short lessons.

"You don't trust him, do you?" Obara asked.

"I don't like Tyrion, but I'm far from distrusting him." Ellaria replied. "He didn't survive in Westeros and Essos by being a fool. He survived because he knew what he was doing. He even managed to flee into exile and return as the Targaryen's Hand."

"Then why meet here?" I inquired. "You must have some doubts."

"Because while I don't distrust him, I am not risking the fate of Dorne to chance. I've already risked far too much."

We all had risked a lot in our coup. As bastards it hadn't been easy to keep in power. All of us had had to work hard to make our subjects know they couldn't overthrow us. At least not without paying a price that was far too high. I had been there to advise my mother when a more observant mind was needed.

"Euron can't be everywhere at once and Tyrion claims to know the Greyjoy's current location." Ellaria said. "If he is right then his plan will work. At least if Yara will buy us enough time to get to Dorne."

Ellaria was right to doubt Tyrion's information. It could very well be that the Imp had gotten hold of good information that told where Euron currently was. The problem with that, though, was the fact that Tyrion's information could be out of date once we set sail to Dorne. He could move close enough to intercept us and ruin Yara's distraction.

That would leave us all dead and Dorne's fate left up to chance. One of our many enemies would certainly cherish the chance to rule my home. After all that had been risked to have Ellaria become the princess would have been for nothing. Dorne would continue but...but it would no longer be the Dorne I admired.

"What do you want to do?" Tyene asked.

"One of you will stay on Dragonstone in case the rest of us die." Ellaria answered.

Me and my sisters tensed. None of us wanted to be the one who stayed on Dragonstone. All of us also didn't want to stay for the same reason. It would be a mark of cowardice to remain in a place of safety while your blood risked everything. It was a disturbing thought to not die in a fight and, instead, wait for word if your blood still breathed.

I was as fierce of a fighter as any of my sisters, but I was also different. Unlike my other siblings I could stop and observe any situation before getting involved. I could push my personal feelings to the background when needed. This helped me in fighting as nothing usually got under my skin. It also made me seem much nicer than my other siblings. That weakness could be enough for mother to keep me on Dragonstone.

And would I really want to argue with her? What would be the benefits of arguing to go back to Dorne with her? Would that make me sound childish to her and the others? I didn't know if I could remain silent if she dared to declare me unfit to travel with her.

I looked at Obara out of the corner of my eye. Out of all of us she had the most commanding demeanor. She was both ruthless and fought with about as much thought as an ant. That made many fear even looking at her which probably meant she wouldn't be chosen to stay on Dragonstone. How could Ellaria dare to keep such a fighter somewhere other than her side?

At least if I was forced to stay here Daenerys was a gracious host. She made sure her allies were respected and we got the resources we needed. If I died then she would not take my loss lightly. That didn't mean the Targaryen would do anything we asked her to. The reason she had asked for more ships from Ellaria was purely to remind us that she was not a weak woman.

It had been a strong statement and one that I would remember. She had never needed to raise her voice or threaten us in a blatant manner. All she needed to do was speak and I could hear the utter strength behind the words. She didn't need her dragons to be a threat to her enemies.

Tyene seemed utterly calm. She had nothing remarkable to make her stand out. The only thing that would make heads turn was her utter abandon in a fight. Could that be enough to make Ellaria choose her to stay behind? Or would she want Obara to stay back so she could enact revenge if need be?

I could see a brief moment of doubt flash over Obara's face before a look of indifference took over. Was she also thinking our mother might force her to stay on Dragonstone?

"Obara and Tyene will go with me." Ellaria began and my heart fell. "Nym will stay here."

Out of all my fellow sisters I was the deadliest. The others could fight, there was no doubt about that, but I planned a little more than them. So why couldn't I go? Was the fact that I looked over a situation before making a move considered a weakness? Did it make me appear more childish than either Obara and Tyene?

"We won't disappoint you." Obara and Tyene replied with grateful bows.

I know I should have bowed and taken my lot in stride. Being a fighter meant knowing when to bow out of a fight. Sometimes the only way to victory was loss. At least when you still breathed there was time to make your enemies regret their choices. So it only made sense that this was not something worth fighting. Fighting now could show Ellaria I was a detriment to her rule and that meant I'd be killed.

But I didn't care. All I cared about now was being considered a weakling by those closest to me. They had to know I was not weak by any stretch of the imagination. Maybe they didn't recognize my talent as neither Obara and Tyene were standing up for me. Or maybe the truth was that neither wanted to be stuck on this island and be considered a coward by everyone.

"Nymeria?" Ellaria asked.

Her eyes and tone of voice said much. She didn't want to be questioned at this time. She had made a decision and expected us to not question anything. It wasn't my place to do anything but agree with her. And yet...yet I had helped her in her rise for power. I had done my part to ensure her continued rule of Dorne. I deserved something for all of my work and dedication.

"You've chosen the wrong one to stay." I replied.

Out of the corners of my eyes I could see my sisters. They looked amused at what was happening. Everyone was certain that I would remain on Dragonstone and they were safe. I knew it highly unlikely that I could change our mother's mind but I had to try. I had to do something to prove that I wasn't a coward. That I wasn't blindly accepting safety.

"Haven't I proven myself of value to you?" I asked and forced my voice to remain calm. "I can fight just as well as my sisters and I've helped you politically. My keen eye in battle is more than fit to help you overthrow political rivals. That is something neither Obara or Tyene can do."

"You weren't raised as royalty." Ellaria countered.

"Neither were you. We are both bastards and have risen through the ranks because we can play the games as well as any noble born."

"I chose you be-"

"Because you needed killers to secure you a throne to sit on. I am loyal to you still and wish to do more than sit on an island. If Euron attacks I can give you enough of a chance to escape."

"If Euron attacks I don't expect any of us to live. You should be glad I'm gifting you life."

"Only a coward would be thankful for that."

"And that's what you think of yourself?"

"That's what you're telling me and the rest of Westeros."

The fact I wasn't screaming at the top of my lungs was a miracle. The fact tears weren't rolling down my cheeks showed my self-restraint. My mother's face hadn't changed much besides becoming slightly more annoyed at my outburst.

My anger finally died down to a shadow of its former self. In its place was the certainty that it was wrong for me to stay here. There wasn't a scenario that existed where people would believe I was anything but a coward. If my sisters were to die in battle then I should join them. I would use my very last breath to reassure them of my presence. Something I couldn't do if I was stuck here.

"I am not leaving you behind because I think you're a coward." Ellaria said. "I also think that leaving you on Dragonstone won't make others think you're a coward."

"If not a coward, someone untrustworthy." I replied. "They'll ask why you left me and come to the conclusion that I can be pushed around."

"Everyone shouldn't be trusted. You should never let your guard down for more than a few people at most."

"So you don't trust me?"

"You and your sisters are the only people I do trust in this world."

"Then why are you leaving me behind?"

"Because I trust you the most."

What? Obara and Tyene looked shocked. All of us had assumed whoever was chosen to stay on Dragonstone would be a coward. Yet Ellaria had claimed I was to stay because she trusted me the most? I saw a look of jealousy creep onto Obara's face.

"Unlike your sisters you can look calmly at a situation." Ellaria said. "There is no one I'd want more in battle than Obara and Tyene, but you have another talent. A talent more suited to ruling than the battlefield. If Tyrion's plan fails and I die, I want to leave an heir in my place. An heir that I chose and is secured in ink."

I was the heir to Dorne? She trusted me that much? Now there was outright jealousy in Obara's eyes but after a moment she gave a nod. She could still kill me, though that didn't seem likely. She would allow me to rule Dorne since she preferred fighting to meetings. Something that had grown more than evident to everyone ever since arriving at Dragonstone where Daenerys held many meetings.

"I wish for you to return safely to Dorne." I said with a polite bow.

I would prefer if she never died as having the burden of leadership felt too heavy for my shoulders. It was comfortable helping someone else rule. There was still a burden but it felt lessened due to someone else having the final call. If disaster fell then it wasn't my fault. It was Ellaria's or Daenerys' fault, not mine.

Tyene's eyes bore into me before she, too, nodded. If I was not a good ruler in her eyes she'd end my life. It had never seemed like she wanted to rule. But she cared about the future of Dorne and would now be emboldened to remove any threat to her home. Ellaria had opened her eyes to the fact that a bastard could kill one of royal blood and rule in their place.

"None of Daenerys' allies are to know about this meeting." Ellaria said. "The people of Dorne are barely able to keep calm with us as rulers. If they knew I had already declared an heir it might break them further. They might be able to stomach one bastard princess but it will take time for them to stomach a second."

Princess Nymeria? The title would take me time to get used to. But if it was destined to be so then I would bear it gladly. I had thought that my status as heir would disappear once our mother returned to Dorne. Yet she was talking about me becoming the next princess as if that would never change.

"We will keep silent until the time comes." Obara said.

"I will not threaten Dorne's safety." Tyene added. "Not after all I've done to ensure its safety."

"My lips will remain silent on the matter until it is my turn to bear the burden of leadership." I said.
* * *
I finally sat up and looked at my two sleeping sisters. While the room felt much too small for all of us, at least we had our own beds. At least Daenerys had granted us that much. It annoyed me that we were her allies and yet she forced us to sleep like mere servants. But it made sense as there wasn't an infinite amount of rooms on Dragonstone and she saved space by forcing three sisters into the same room.

After making sure that my two sisters weren't about to be woken up by a small sound, I quietly made my way out of our room. Even though I could have a beautiful sleeping gown for nights, I wore a version of my usual outfit. This one was thin enough to allow me to sleep comfortably and yet thick enough to protect my body for battle.

The halls were silent tonight except for the faint sound of wind from outside. Already there were signs of the coming winter for those with eyes. It was a faint chill that my mind didn't understand but my body did. If Daenerys claimed the Iron Throne soon enough I could escape the winter in Dorne.

As I stepped outside into the night I thought of the stories of snow in Dorne. Those were legends and hardly anyone believed them. The desert grew cold at night but the heat of day would melt any snow. If had to spend a moment in the cold I would endure, but it would not be a pleasant experience for me. I would endure it because I was not weak. I would endure it because I was the heir of Dorne.

It took all of my concentration to keep my footing as the sconces did a poor job at lighting the surrounding area. If a person wanted to walk from one building to another the scones were a good light source. But I wanted to explore the dark in a vain attempt to calm my mind.

My feet eventually took me to the beach and it was a wonder I made it so far. I guess since I didn't have someone to fight that this walk was a challenge. I leaned against the cliffs and looked out towards where the horizon would be. Faint flickering lights could be seen which must belong to Daenerys' fleet.

If only I could leave on a ship with my mother but that wasn't my fate. I was the heir to Dorne and couldn't afford to take such risks. If my mother died then it would fall to me to keep my home strong. Princess Nymeria would not allow her people to fall.

I took out a dagger as I quickly turned to the sound of footsteps approaching. It must be Tyrion as the torch was held at the height of a child. I put the dagger away before the Imp was close enough to see me.

"You're out late." I said.

"And you're out in the dark without a light." Tyrion retorted.

"Unlike you I can survive in the dark."

"Is that why I could catch up to you so easily?"

I stiffened as the man stood beside me. He was small and I could easily kill him. Yet despite his physical disadvantages he had been able to gain power. He was now the Hand of Daenerys Targaryen who was one of the most powerful people in all of Westeros. She was the only one with dragons and she listened to him.

"My mother has forced me to stay here." I said.

"You're afraid that she considers you weak?" Tyrion asked.

"I'm more afraid that she and my sisters will die while I'm safe. What if your plan doesn't work?"

"I am never wrong. Princess Ellaria and your sisters will arrive at Dorne as planned."

"My father died because of you."

"Oberyn died because of his pride. He was a great man and is now lost to the world."

Tyrion pulled out a flask and handed it to me. I drank deeply and handed it back to him. As he began to drink from it I suddenly didn't feel so alone. I wouldn't trust him too much but it was good to know that there would be someone to talk to.