But whenever I focused on Resistance
business I forgot about my feelings for John, if only for a little bit. I’d
focus on not getting myself or my fellow Resistance fighters killed. I
practiced and exercised more than I needed to. However, I never pushed myself
past my limits. I didn’t want to be in a battle and be too worn down to
continue.
John still gave me private lessons and
those had become less awkward as time went on. But our glances at each other
never went away. I doubted my feelings for him could ever go away. However, I
didn’t interfere with his marriage and he would try to set me up with someone
from time to time. I would never go out with someone other than John, though,
so his attempts were useless.
I had mixed feelings about going on the
simple mission with Katherine, Barnes, and Star.
Katherine was John’s wife and was still
uneasy about John’s feelings towards me, but I still felt I had to protect her.
If she died then John would never forgive me.
Barnes and I had become closer. By closer
I mean that he kept his hate of me to a bare minimum when I was around him.
Star was the only one I didn’t have any
bad feelings towards. Kyle Reese and I had been on a mission or two together so
I had learned to trust his judgment. When I had first met him he had said he
loved Star. I trusted his opinion and was going to make sure Star came out of
her first mission safe.
I finished getting ready and headed to
the chopper. I waved at some of my comrades and they nodded back. I was glad
that they had opened up to me more. At least I didn’t get the feeling that they
would try and kill me the first chance they got.
Upon arriving to the chopper I saw my
team members. Barnes was standing close to Katherine and having a conversation
with her. This didn’t surprise me at all since he was one of John’s most loyal
soldiers. Plus he had another reason.
I controlled the grimace that tried to
come to my face as I looked at Katherine’s round belly. It was a painful
reminder of how intimate John was with her. Barnes nodded at me and Katherine
continued to ignore me.
It was then I looked at Star who was
nervous. It had always been hard to read her, almost like she was a machine
herself, but I could tell she was uneasy.
“Hey.” I said to her as I walked towards
her.
“Hi.” She replied and looked me directly
in the eyes for a second before she got too afraid and looked away.
“You fought against the machines since
you were young.” I told her. “You and Kyle managed to stay alive until you ran
into John.”
“I know I’ll survive.”
“Then why take so long to go on a mission
of your own?”
“I’ve been on guard duty. I’ve been to
every training session. Hell, I’ve helped train new recruits from time to
time.”
“But you’ve never been on a mission of
your own.”
Star looked at something that was on the
opposite side of the hanger from me. Like Barnes she had dark skin, but unlike
Barnes her hairstyle was different. It was poofy. Since I didn’t have memories
from before Judgment Day, I didn’t know what to call the hairstyle. But it was
nice.
“What’s the reason?” I asked. “I know
it’s not because you’re scared of dying.”
“I don’t want to be in charge.” Star
whispered and looked around to see if anyone else was listening. “If I do good
I’ll be told to handle people’s lives.”
“It’s not a good feeling.” I said, even
though I had only been in charge of a mission only once before this. And that
was only because my commander had died on the mission. “But if you don’t want responsibility,
it means you’re less likely to do something stupid.”
“So I guess that means giving you power
is bad.” Barnes said as he walked up behind me.
“Hey, at least I’m not you. Means I can’t
do too bad.”
Star hid a smile and I looked at my
group.
“Get in the chopper, we need to head out
quickly.” I told them.
“It’s only a scouting mission, we don’t
need to hurry.” Barnes replied.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean there can’t
be danger.”
With that Barnes and Star went in the
chopper and Katherine joined me in the cockpit.
I checked that the chopper was going to
work throughout the scouting mission and avoided Katherine’s gaze when I could.
It was like she was trying to kill me with a look.
“You know I had to convince John to allow
you on this mission.” I told her, trying to bring her to my side.
“John didn’t mention that to me.”
Katherine countered.
“Because I managed to convince him before
he said something to you. I told him it was only a scouting mission and that
the twins won’t be in danger.”
“How did you know I was going to have
twins?”
“John told me. He was really excited
about the news.”
“What else does he tell you?”
“Stuff I pretend to be interested in.”
“But I’m not going to give birth for a
week or two, John shouldn’t be worried.”
“Tell John that.” I said as I took off.
I felt the tension in the cockpit ease. I
knew Katherine didn’t like me, but she had to know that John trusted me. He
trusted me but wasn’t going to leave her for me.
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