Are you biting your nails in anticipation of my T3 review? No, you aren't. But, to pass the time, here is the gag reel for the movie:
Monday, April 23, 2012
Box Office Sunday (April 22, 2012)
Is The Hunger Games defeated? Does The Lucky One take its place? And, most importantly, what are all these chimps doing here!
The Green: Spreading 3
Plague turned the shower off and didn't seem happy. When he stepped out I didn't think he was mad either. I stepped out of the shower and looked down at my penis. Even though I loved Plague more than stopping Gralg, I had trouble getting hard for him. Plague's body was angelic and my penis couldn't muster the strength to worship him.
"I'm sorry." I told him and started to dry myself off. "I don't know why it wouldn't get up today."
Plague replied with a shrug. After we got dressed he finally said, "I don't mind. We'll find a solution one day."
I nodded but I didn't believe it. I knew, from the way the scientists had spoken about sex, that it was important in a relationship. And if I couldn't please Plague, would we last? I shook my head. First defeat Gralg and then there'll be time to think about my sex life.
After packing up, I took the wheel and Plague took shotgun. There was a long drive ahead of us and it was mostly quiet. Not because of what happened in the shower this morning, but because we were focused on what could happen. After two hours a small conversation started to form.
Finally I let my feelings out, "Do you think we'll last?"
Plague stared at me for a moment. "You understand that your...problem isn't unique, right?" He finally replied. "You just have more trouble than most people. I don't think you like me less because of something you can't control."
"But you aren't pleasured by me as you could be by another man."
"That's not the point. We can get you something if you want."
"That would be good." I said and the problem was washed away. Plague put a hand on my leg and smiled at me.
However, I couldn't get it out of my head that I wasn't into men. It was so hard to get hard. But I also felt love for Plague that made my body and mind at odds with one another.
Finally we arrived. The hospital was in Gold City, Montana. Luckily, Gold City wasn't hit by Gralg yet. Though there had been traces of Gralg spotted elsewhere in Montana.
As we walked towards the door, two interns were there to greet us.
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The Green Blog aka Gralg Contamination
"I'm sorry." I told him and started to dry myself off. "I don't know why it wouldn't get up today."
Plague replied with a shrug. After we got dressed he finally said, "I don't mind. We'll find a solution one day."
I nodded but I didn't believe it. I knew, from the way the scientists had spoken about sex, that it was important in a relationship. And if I couldn't please Plague, would we last? I shook my head. First defeat Gralg and then there'll be time to think about my sex life.
After packing up, I took the wheel and Plague took shotgun. There was a long drive ahead of us and it was mostly quiet. Not because of what happened in the shower this morning, but because we were focused on what could happen. After two hours a small conversation started to form.
Finally I let my feelings out, "Do you think we'll last?"
Plague stared at me for a moment. "You understand that your...problem isn't unique, right?" He finally replied. "You just have more trouble than most people. I don't think you like me less because of something you can't control."
"But you aren't pleasured by me as you could be by another man."
"That's not the point. We can get you something if you want."
"That would be good." I said and the problem was washed away. Plague put a hand on my leg and smiled at me.
However, I couldn't get it out of my head that I wasn't into men. It was so hard to get hard. But I also felt love for Plague that made my body and mind at odds with one another.
Finally we arrived. The hospital was in Gold City, Montana. Luckily, Gold City wasn't hit by Gralg yet. Though there had been traces of Gralg spotted elsewhere in Montana.
As we walked towards the door, two interns were there to greet us.
-------------------
The Green Blog aka Gralg Contamination
Sunday, April 22, 2012
The Cabin in the Woods (2012)
Title: The Cabin in the Woods
Director: Drew Goddard
Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth and Anna Hutchison
Writers: Joss (FUCKING) Whedon and Drew Goddard
Rated: R
Released: 2012
Personal Rating: 6/5
Oscars: N/A
Basic Plot: Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.
Horror Comedy and Insight
Long and short of it is that this movie is self-aware. In many points of the movie there are little jokes that will have you laughing and then screaming. It isn't afraid to poke fun at the horror genre (like the classic 'group splits off and are easily picked off'). What's great about the movie's self-awareness is that it shows different viewpoints on horror movies. WHILE IT IS, ITSELF, A HORROR MOVIE! While you might think you'll have to think during this movie: be assured that it isn't hard to understand and the movie guides you along.
The Stoner Knows All
The Stoner (aka Marty/The Fool) is the first one to realize that something isn't right. He tries to warn people but they don't listen. He's like the stand-in for those in the audience that yell at the screen for the people not to do stupid things. He recommends not splitting up, not opening the door, and other things. It's sort of funny that someone stoned out of their mind can pick apart horror movie cliches. Does he die by the end of the movie? I'll just say his death isn't shown on screen.
The End "Battle Scene"
The end of the movie is a total gore fest. According to sources, a reaver (yes, the ones from Firefly!) appears briefly in the movie. Since I didn't know what they look like I'd need to see it again to confirm it. Anyways, the creatures that are released cause total hell. The hallway with the elevator will be burned into your mind long after you leave the theater. Also look out for a killer clown and unicorn.
Final Thoughts
This is a kickass movie. It scared me, made me think, and made me laugh. I loved it all! This movie more than lives up to its hype. In fact, it goes way over the hype. If you're looking for a new twist on the horror genre, this is the movie. I am a Joss Whedon fan (and shame on all those of you who don't know who Whedon is!) and that was part of the reason I wanted to see this. Finally, sorry random woman I talked to in the bathroom. Fangirls will be fangirls.
Director: Drew Goddard
Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth and Anna Hutchison
Writers: Joss (FUCKING) Whedon and Drew Goddard
Rated: R
Released: 2012
Personal Rating: 6/5
Oscars: N/A
Basic Plot: Five friends go for a break at a remote cabin in the woods, where they get more than they bargained for. Together, they must discover the truth behind the cabin in the woods.
Horror Comedy and Insight
Long and short of it is that this movie is self-aware. In many points of the movie there are little jokes that will have you laughing and then screaming. It isn't afraid to poke fun at the horror genre (like the classic 'group splits off and are easily picked off'). What's great about the movie's self-awareness is that it shows different viewpoints on horror movies. WHILE IT IS, ITSELF, A HORROR MOVIE! While you might think you'll have to think during this movie: be assured that it isn't hard to understand and the movie guides you along.
The Stoner Knows All
The Stoner (aka Marty/The Fool) is the first one to realize that something isn't right. He tries to warn people but they don't listen. He's like the stand-in for those in the audience that yell at the screen for the people not to do stupid things. He recommends not splitting up, not opening the door, and other things. It's sort of funny that someone stoned out of their mind can pick apart horror movie cliches. Does he die by the end of the movie? I'll just say his death isn't shown on screen.
The End "Battle Scene"
The end of the movie is a total gore fest. According to sources, a reaver (yes, the ones from Firefly!) appears briefly in the movie. Since I didn't know what they look like I'd need to see it again to confirm it. Anyways, the creatures that are released cause total hell. The hallway with the elevator will be burned into your mind long after you leave the theater. Also look out for a killer clown and unicorn.
Final Thoughts
This is a kickass movie. It scared me, made me think, and made me laugh. I loved it all! This movie more than lives up to its hype. In fact, it goes way over the hype. If you're looking for a new twist on the horror genre, this is the movie. I am a Joss Whedon fan (and shame on all those of you who don't know who Whedon is!) and that was part of the reason I wanted to see this. Finally, sorry random woman I talked to in the bathroom. Fangirls will be fangirls.
Best Song in The Cabin in the Woods
Last (by Nine Inch Nails) plays during the credits. I found it to fit perfectly after the ending of the movie. This is really the reason I stayed for the Credits. I heard this and I couldn't leave my seat.
For your enjoyment, here it is:
For your enjoyment, here it is:
The Cabin in the Woods First Thoughts
I ramble on about The Cabin in the Woods. This contains spoilers so be forewarned (and see the movie already!).
Fringe "Letters of Transit" Review
Walter is even crazier and Observers have taken over! This episode is full of awesome!
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