Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Benedict Fangor Chapter 1: The Loss of Hope

This is an Animorphs fanfiction. All rights belong to the copyright holders. While I am doing the actual writing of the fic, members of my facebook group HERE WE STAND help with the decision process. These decisions range from covers, minor happenings in chapters, and big changes in certain chapters.

My name is Tobias and I had thought I knew my family. I thought my father simply ran away and my mother had been in a car accident. While I had been human my abusive aunt and uncle had taken care of me. I'd be passed around as if I were just an object.

That's what I thought but now things had changed.

I was now listening to a lawyer read a letter from my father. Visser Three was also here in a human morph pretending to be my cousin. It made me sick to think that I had hoped so much for a normal life that I had been blinded. That the foul Yeerk had fooled me. Now my job was to act like I didn't know the name the lawyer had said. The name that was breaking me.

How was I supposed to act normal when the lawyer had just said Elfangor-Sirinial-Shamtul? How was I supposed to be calm when the Andalite who had given us our powers was my father? How was I supposed to remain calm when the first time I had met my father he had been eaten alive?
Ever since me and my friends had become humanity's last hope, I had been the strongest supporter. But with this information I felt more than broken. I should've never allowed myself to hope as my life never turned out good. I was doing my best to hold back tears but to no avail. No matter how hard I tried not to, I cried.

Visser Three grinned as he looked at my reaction. It was the reaction he had been hoping for. With the tears coming down my cheeks I had betrayed my friends. I didn't care, though, as I was past the point of caring. The only thing that existed at the moment was me and my pain. Maybe I could hold on. Maybe I could resist whatever the Yeerk had in store for me.

"So you are Elfangor's son." Visser Three said.

Hearing his voice coming from the Aria morph was more than disturbing. Her voice was feminine and somewhat calming. Yet the fact that she wasn't really real made me shiver. Nothing in my life had been real, had it? The Ellimist had made sure of that fact. He had meddled in my life and expected me to do whatever was asked of me. But right now there was nothing for me to do but give up.

"Yes," I replied weakly. "I'm the son of the man you killed."

"We both had our parts to play." The Visser said with a shrug. "He just chose the wrong side to be on. I had offered him a chance to be my host back on the Taxxon homeworld. Elfangor refused that gesture."

"Who are you?"

I had to at least pretend I didn't know. I had to at least play into Esplin 9466's game. He looked at me with his human eyes and then stood in the center of the room where his Andalite morph would fit. He quickly demorphed as he wanted to gloat. His human clothes were in shreds but that didn't matter to him. It didn't matter to him now that he had me.

[I am Esplin 9466 Greater.] Esplin said proudly. [I am the only Yeerk that posses an Andalite host. I hold the rank of Visser Three but one day I will have a seat on the Council of Thirteen!]

If my friends stopped him he would never achieve that rank. If my friends stopped him then Alloran, his host, would finally be set free. I shivered as I realized that I would be a Controller as the Visser wouldn't let such a prize escape him.

[You know the name of Elfangor, but do you have any other useful information?] The Visser asked.

That was a strange question. It had never occurred to me that he wouldn't want to infest me. There was no other reason to ask that question unless he was just going to keep me around as a pet. It did make a kind of sense as Esplin wouldn't want to allow another Yeerk to have such a valuable host.

"Me and a few others saw Elfangor's ship crash." I said as I tried to word the truth carefully. "The others stayed back so they didn't see anything and then ran when your people started to chase them. I was the only one to be with my father before he died."
[But you didn't know then, did you?] Visser Three replied.

"No, I didn't. All I knew was that I had to fight. I couldn't just let his death mean nothing. By pure luck I managed to find the Andalite bandits. They were shocked as Elfangor had given me the power to morph."

I had wanted to say Seerow's Kindness but thought that would be too suspicious. It had taken awhile for Ax to open up enough to tell us what that law was. It wouldn't be something that normal Andalites would be open to telling a human.

[Seerow's Kindness.] The Yeerk said with glee as the human Controller's skin paled. [Did the Andalites tell you what that is? No, of course they wouldn't. It is their greatest act of foolishness. Prince Seerow made it so that we could escape our confines. He made it so that we could travel the stars.]

"So the Yeerk Empire exists because of an Andalite?" I asked.

The Visser flinched visibly at that. I realized that I had overstepped my bounds. Yeerks and Andalites were vicious enemies. To tell Esplin that his success was because of an Andalite was an insult. For a moment he raised his tail-blade but then lowered it.

[I guess I can forgive you for your stupidity.] Esplin hissed. [Do you have anything else of interest to tell me? As of now I can guess the rest. The Andalite bandits took you in and you helped them try vainly to defeat me. But why did you leave your human relatives? I've heard that family is extremely important to humans.]

I could have lied at that point and I should've. Instead I decided to keep my morphing ability. In case there was a life for me beyond being the Visser's pet, I wanted to be able to morph. I removed my clothing and then focused on my hawk morph. The morph that I had been trapped in so much that it felt like my real body at times.

"After two hours I'll change back to human." I said and the changes began.

The first thing to happen to me was that I shrank. Visser's Andalite body seemed to rise up above me. Suddenly I was able to see him much better as my beak formed. When I gained the hawk's eyesight I felt comforted as I was blind no longer.

As a feather-like pattern formed all over my body I saw my captor look at me with vague interest. So far nothing impressive was happening. Only after my feathers formed did any other hawk-like features appear on me.

My human feet turned into talons while the unused toes were sucked back into my body. My tail feathers formed and finally my wings appeared. My arms seemed to melt like wax and my bones became hollow so that I finally had wings. I flapped them a few times and then hopped up onto one of the chairs.

"Visser," DeGroot said. "Shouldn't we force him to demorph?"

[I wasn't going to make him into a Controller.] Visser Three said with a dismissive wave of his hand. [I was always going to have him as a pet. If he wishes to spend his life as this creature, let him.]

Waiting two hours was extremely painful. Yet if I wanted to retain my morphing powers I had to do this. The only other option was to become a human nothlit. If there was Rachel to look forward to I would gladly morph back to human. It would be more than awkward at first, but she was worth it.

[It has been two hours, Elfangor's son.] Visser Three said. [I wanted you mor-]

He stopped as I quickly morphed back to human. My eyesight was the last thing to go and I wanted to groan when it did. I was now stuck with weak human vision. DeGroot and Visser Three were both staring at me intently now. I wanted to preen myself but I was no longer a hawk.

[Have you and the other Andalite bandits figured out how to override the two hour limit?] Visser Three asked. [But you becoming a nothlit still doesn't solve the mystery of you leaving your family. Unless it was for their safety.]

"My aunt and uncle abused me." I said with more strength than I had. "I made sure to stay over the two hour limit so I'd have an excuse to leave them. I thought being a hawk and leaving them behind would make me happier. I was wrong."
[Was this early on?] The Visser asked. [There was an attack on the Yeerk pool shortly after Elfangor died. I am betting that you never formed a strong bond with the other bandits. For a human to make friends with an Andalite is impossible.]

What if  my friends, all of my friends, were Andalites? That is something I would need to think on in case Visser Three asked me. I would need to make it seem as if my story was solid. Luckily I spent a lot of time with Ax and I'd seen other Andalites, so I should be able to come up with a good lie. Hopefully.

[I assume the other bandits also are unaffected by the two hour limit.] Visser Three guessed.

"No, they aren't." I said to the shock of both Controllers. "The way I got my morphing powers back is difficult. In all honesty it was by chance alone that I was able to."

[Soon you will share that secret with me.]

I wondered if I would. I was already broken and might break evern further. But I would hold onto the secret of the Ellimist as long as I could. If the truth about the Ellimist was revealed it wouldn't take too much longer for the hidden Hork-Bajir Valley to no longer be hidden. If I was the one to remove any hope from that poor race I'd never forgive myself.

[You are more than I hoped for, Elfangor's son.] Visser Three said gleefully. [With you I not only have my greatest foe's child reduced to a mere pet, I also have all the information I need to take down the Andalite bandits. I will even get the Escafil Device!]

"They won't ever give that up." I argued to him. "They won't ever give you that power."

The Yeerk morphed into Aria and DeGroot gave him clothes. Esplin took his time trying to appear perfect and it seemed like he was enjoying it. For a human I would wonder if they were straight, gay, or something else. With him I couldn't tell as my fake cousin was just a morph.

The other Animorphs and I never felt weird if our morph wasn't the same gender as our own. Rachel wouldn't care if her grizzly bear morph was a male or female. All she cared about was that it did what it was supposed to. All she cared was that it made her feel powerful and allowed her to kick Yeerk butt.

Esplin might prefer a female morph or it was just that he liked becoming Aria. I wondered if he had created Aria through a frolis maneuver or if there was an actual Aria. Maybe he had looked through his minions and found a morph he'd enjoy. Or maybe I was giving this way too much thought.

"Tobias." Esplin said simply and started to make his way out of the office.

I followed behind him. Before I left the room I turned to see DeGroot look exhausted. He had been present during a visit from the Visser and had survived. He and I both knew there were many situations where that wouldn't be the case.

As I continued to follow the Visser I was glad my fellow Animorphs weren't here. None of them would have to see first hand how easily I'd been broken. Maybe Cassie would show pity and understand how hard this was for me. Maybe Jake would trust me to do the right thing. Maybe Ax, a boy I now knew to be my uncle, would think it wise I was so close to the enemy. Maybe Marco would trust me not to give the Visser all of our secrets. And Rachel...I just hoped that she'd forgive me.

A limo pulled up and two human Controllers exited. Visser Three entered the vehicle without even glancing at them. Why would he? To him the Controllers were just tools. They were things to do his bidding and die if they failed. They meant nothing to him.

I entered and saw that the inside was indeed big enough for the Visser to be in his normal Andalite form. As he was demorphing I also did. He soon became a towering Andalite and I became a hawk. Only after I was fully a hawk did I allow myself to look around.
The limo was still too cramped to fit an Andalite comfortably. The Visser's stalk eyes brushed the roof and so he was forced to keep them bent. The two guards came back in and sat with two others. Altogether there were four human Controllers sitting on the only seat. This meant I couldn't sit there and would have to stand on the ground.

Hawks don't like being on the ground. We like being on a tree branch high above the ground. Being higher meant it was easier for us to get prey and to escape predators. That had been the way I lived before giving in to Visser Three. Now I would never go back to my meadow.

There were upsides about that, though, such as not having to defend my territory from a rival red-tailed hawk. I wouldn't have to worry about becoming my prey which didn't help my ability to hunt. It made it necessary for me to eat roadkill. I don't know what was worse: bowing to Visser Three or eating something already dead.

[Are you comfortable?] Visser Three teased me. [Don't worry, you will have much better accommodations in my Blade ship. Or maybe I'll allow you to stay on the Mother ship.]

It didn't matter where he put me as I'd still be a captive. I'd still be a traitor. Maybe I could hide what really happened to me for a long time. I didn't want to face the others now. I wanted them to think I was dead rather than being used as a plaything for the Yeerk.

[Soon enough I will have the information to take down the bandits.] Visser Three said and I realized the limo had been moving for awhile. [Soon enough your friends will be dead or infested. I wonder how so many were able to escape destruction. I highly doubt the Andalites sent people before the battle. They like to think their technology is superior when that is not the case.]

Suddenly I found myself thinking about Ax. My friend who I had just learned was my uncle. He was probably in his forest worrying about me. He was probably counting down the minutes until I arrived back. I also thought of how prideful he was when talking about Andalite technology. Every time he talked about Yeerk technology it was like he had swallowed something disgusting.

Not that he would ever feel that way in human morph. The dude liked engine oil, for god's sake. I don't think there was anything he would think was disgusting to swallow. Was this it? Was I going mad already?

[Did Visser One help you escape when I had you in my grasps before?] Visser Three mused. [If she can be caught for helping Andalite bandits then my promotion will happen regardless. I will finally be able to run this invasion as it should've been run. Edriss 562's way is not effective. Am I really supposed to be afraid of such pathetic creatures fighting back?]

I was shocked. For so long the others and I had believed that the Yeerks were doing a secret invasion because they feared us. That they didn't want to risk an open war. But now he said Visser One had decided on a secret invasion. I could just write his words off as him being arrogant, but I didn't. If I was among the Yeerks maybe I could find out the truth. Or maybe the truth didn't matter as humanity could fall either way.
[You can be silent for now.] Visser Three sneered. [But soon enough you will talk. Though it pains me to do so, I can torture you. I can make you beg for death and then you will reveal everything to me.]

The Yeerk and I locked eyes. No, I wouldn't reveal everything to him. I might have given up all hope but I would never betray my friends. Jake who had saved me before the war had started, Marco who kept us safe when we were being idiots, Cassie whose kindness was a deadly force, Ax who had become a dear friend, and Rachel who had been the first person to truly love me.

I would never tell everything I knew about them. Never.

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