This chapter has been edited due to content. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
The blazing sun was not letting up today. My sweat had evaporated only to be replaced a few seconds later. Some people thought reading lines was simple. I would like for them to be brought to today's filming location so that they could see how wrong they were. Let it be them and not me who was suffering. The best part was things would only get harder when I had to act as though the heat wasn't bothering me as much as it was.
"We're going to have some great tans." Michiel said with a halfhearted chuckle.
"At least we don't have any dragons in this scene." Emilia said.
"Yeah, don't need their attitude." I replied and was rewarded with both of them laughing.
A few crew members came over to bring us more bottled water. I had to remind myself not to drink too quickly. If I did then I would be dealing with a stomach that just wanted to vomit. As we paused from drinking we looked at each other. We had become friends and soon enough that friendship would end. We would no longer be seeing Michiel on a daily basis and might lose touch with him.
"So this is the last day of shooting with all of us." I said to Michiel. "I hope you don't run out of jobs. And get more jobs where you don't have to be out in this heat."
"It's not that bad." Michiel replied with a weak smile.
"See, that's the kind of acting that makes money."
We continued to drink our water and I thought about the alternate scene we would be shooting soon. Of course no one but us knew there would be an alternate scene. We had gone through a few different takes already and the next time would be when we surprised everyone. Hopefully those that liked the idea of Jorah and Dany together would be happy. If that scene reached the public eye by legal or illegal means.
"So we're sure it's the next take?" Emilia asked once we were sure everyone else was out of earshot.
"I think if we don't do it now, we won't be able to." I answered. "I think we finally have this scene all figured out."
"Yeah, guess so."
"You're nervous?"
"We all know what kind of comments will come from this."
"You should be like your boyfriend," Michiel said. "Just don't go on social media. The rumors are a lot better that way. The moment you walk away from constant harassment is a good thing." "I've tried." Emilia admitted. "But going online is...is fun when it's going well and I like those times. Besides, I'd prefer to be uncomfortable rather than not knowing what a hashtag is."
I gave my girlfriend a friendly jab with my elbow and she grinned. None of us were going to bring up the fact that even though I didn't go online, I was more than affected by baseless rumors. It could be that my love was having it much harder than I did. Not only because she was more famous, but because she frequently used Twitter. She experienced the hatred in real time.
"I'm never going outside again." Michiel said as a cloud passed overhead. "If I am out here any longer than I need to be I...I don't know what I'm going to do."
"If you keep talking we won't have to worry about hearing you anymore." Emilia replied with a grin.
"We can just say your character died mysteriously." I agreed. "In fact, let's pitch that idea now and you can go in the shade."
"And get paid less?" Michiel retorted. "No, thank you. I'd rather suffer and leave with a full paycheck."
More clouds passed overhead and I was glad it wasn't a clear blue sky today. The clouds offered us some coolness from the overwhelming heat. And even at night things could become unbearable as I wanted to do nothing but fall asleep. Yet Jorah was awake and so I couldn't look tired at all. The illusion us actors brought to the screen had to be all encompassing. Such as all our talk now would be forgotten once the cameras started rolling again.
"****." I said as I finished my water. "I can't wait until tonight."
"I'm sure you can't." Michiel teased.
"I meant because I'll finally be away from this bloody heat. Emilia is merely a bonus."
"You prefer not sweating to me." Emilia replied and feigned being insulted.
"I see you all the time. You've gotten a little boring for my tastes. Now I think I might dump you for a nice fan. I'll sit in front of it all day and night. Tell it all my hopes and fears and dreams. And, of course, I'll ask it for other things."
I winked and the two of them laughed. The image was so repulsive it was hilarious. Who in their right minds would make love to a fan? Though there were people out there that had done much stranger things. One night Emilia and I looked up some very interesting kinks. We had ruled out a good portion and others we decided to try out one day for fun. Or we might not. Very possibly those kinks would become our little jokes and have nothing to do with reality.
"I am going to miss you guys." Michiel said. "Though I can't wait to have decent conversations once again."
"These conversations are decent." Emilia replied. "Just because we don't discuss whatever highbrow topic you like, doesn't mean these conversations are worth any less."
"I'm not pompous. I just don't like talking about ******* fans."
"Why? Do you **** fans? Are people too tame for you?"
"I'm not telling you now!"
We all broke into laughter. I wanted to spend the next few minutes getting details about his fictional love affairs with fans. But we would be filming soon and I didn't want such crude jokes heard by the crew. Though it wouldn't be the most embarrassing thing to be known for, there was a chance I would be in at least one more season of the show. And I did not want those jokes to follow me until I left.
Finally the alternate take was going to happen. Not that anyone else but myself, Michiel, and Emilia knew what was going to happen. Like professionals we had practiced to make sure we all knew what was going to take place. Also like professionals we only had one chance to get this right. It was highly doubtful that everyone would allow us to try our alternate scene again. Even those that had no real stance on actors messing up a scene for the fun of it, those people would be against us having another take because of the heat.
"Jorah, you haven't been dismissed yet." Emilia said while forgetting her actual lines, maybe we didn't have the actual scene figured out yet.
I turned back and acted shocked yet not letting that emotion clearly on my face. My lips tried to pull themselves into a smile but I stopped them from completing the action. All were things I could feel that my character would do. I fully embraced my character and became him in that moment. There was both fear and joy coursing through my veins now.
"You were with me in the beginning." Emilia said, both of us hiding our shock that no one had stopped us yet. Maybe they all knew something was up and wanted to see what would happen. "Without you I wouldn't have survived to rule Meereen. I wouldn't have lived long enough to have my many allies follow me. You are the reason I'm alive. I trusted in myself but that can only take a person so far."
"What else should I have done?" I asked, my voice weak. "Let you die?"
"A lesser man would have. He would have let me rot as he fled back to his home."
"Khaleesi, you are my home. You are my entire reason for being. Bear Island means nothing to me without you. I say this now only because it is most likely death awaits me and I could not leave without showing my heart to you."
Tears started to come out of my girlfriend's eyes. At some point, I couldn't tell when, we couldn't tell the difference between ourselves and our characters. As Jorah I could say things to Emilia I wouldn't say otherwise. I loved her with all of my heart, but would she really agree to marry me?
"And you are my home, Jorah." Emilia responded. "You are my everything. I was too blind before to see but now my eyes have been opened. You have to find a cure. You have to get better as my king can't die."
"I am honored, but I am a disgraced knight." I replied. "I am not worthy of you, much less worthy to be your husband."
"You are the only one that has seen me through all my struggles. You have seen me when I was weak and you believed in me even then. Who else among my followers can say the same? So many have seen me while I'm strong and if they saw me weak they would tear me apart. That is how it is in Essos and, I assume, in Westeros."
"I still encourage you to seek another suitor. Someone that will help secure your rule and someone much less tainted than me."
"I want my king tainted because then I know he can overcome his own darkness."
Could this ever be a reality for me? Could I ever hold her tightly and us say our vows? Or was this only a dream that the camera would hold onto selfishly? Would she actually say 'I do' if I asked her? It was enough that we loved each other and would stay together. Wasn't it? Or did some part of me yearn for a future where she walked towards me? A future where I called her my wife? What did marriage mean to a love like ours?
"Then I won't deny you." I said and we kissed heavily.
My hands went on her shoulders and hers went on my waist. I could feel the yearning from her for the kiss to go on much longer and lead to something more wild. For a moment I thought of allowing that fantasy to become a reality. The world would disappear once we were naked and covered in sweat. The sun had even stopped burning as harshly as before. All that mattered to me in this moment was Emilia. Her touch and the scent of her skin that never failed to arouse me.
We stopped and gazed into each other's eyes as cast and crew cheered. I smiled at Emilia and her smile mirrored my own. It made me feel more than lucky to know her and for her to love me. I only hoped that Jorah would end up with her and feel the love that I felt now. Though of course he couldn't feel what I was feeling, he wasn't real. He was merely a character I brought to life.
"Can you please finish an actual take." One of the crew members joked with a smile on his face.
"You could've stopped us at any time." I pointed out.
"We've begun to expect these things from you. So all that can be done is for you to get these instances from your system."
I nearly fell down laughing. He clearly didn't care what we were doing. Or maybe the orders from higher up was to allow Emilia and I to do our thing. It could be that our antics were helping to boost ratings so we were allowed to continue doing what we wanted. Though with not much positive feedback from viewers, I hardly thought this meant Jorah and Dany would be getting together on the show. It was just a selling point. I didn't care if I was helping with marketing by loving Emilia, all I cared about was that our love was real.
* * *
"White?" Emilia asked and looked closely at the bottle. "We've been having red for so long this really disturbs me."
"I couldn't find a good red." I replied and put two coffee cups in front of her. "Maybe I wasn't looking that hard."
"I'm sure you were. Besides, if white wine is the biggest thing to worry about, I'll say we're doing more than fine."
My love poured our glasses and then we made our way to the kitchen table. It had been a long hard day of filming. After our alternate scene it had taken a little over an hour to get the scene done. We had checked up on Michiel a before heading back to Emilia's trailer. I didn't know if I was going to spend the night or night. That tended to be the case for a heavy day of shooting.
"Did you mean what you said in character?" I asked and slowly sipped my wine. "About wanting to be with me until the end?"
"I...I think that's the kind of relationship we have." Emilia replied with a shy smile. "At least I hope it is. Before I'd get into relationships not caring what came next. But then I began to get into them because I wanted them to last. I wanted to be with the guy I was with forever. It didn't work out and then I'd get into the next relationship with the same idea."
I smiled. She was much different than me. Relationships hadn't been my thing, serious ones at least. All that was on my mind was causing intense pleasure. When a woman had stopped making me feel intense pleasure I moved onto the next one. Emilia wanted a long lasting relationship which meant it had taken courage to be with someone like me. Someone who had never shown an interest in long term relationships.
"What about you?" Emilia asked. "Did you mean any of it or were you just saying lines?"
"I...I..." I said and paused to drink some of my wine. "I don't ever want to leave your side. I never want to sleep without you by my side ever again. Saying those lines...saying them freed me."
"Would you marry me?"
"I don't know. But I know that I will never abandon you even if the whole world was against us."
"I know you would stay by my side because some of the rumors have been more than vicious. And even at the worse of times you're still by my side."
How would it be to have Emilia as my wife? She would look wonderful in a dress. A nice white one with a tasteful cut just above her ****. Doves would be released the moment after we said our vows. If only we could have such a special day without any news outlet covering the event. But at least a few places would report on it even if we made sure there wasn't any paparazzi.
"Do you need to be with someone who will marry you?" I asked.
"I don't want you to feel like you have to." Emilia replied after finishing her wine.
I wanted to say that I would think on it, but that sounded both callous and rude. So I chugged the rest of my wine. After doing so I took both cups to the kitchen and rinsed them before setting them on the counter to dry.
"Are you tired?" I asked and held out my hand.
"Now I'm not." Emilia grinned and allowed me to guide her to the couch.
She sat on the edge and her body tensed, anticipating what would happen. What happened was pure carnal bliss.
Afterwards both of us were smiling at the love and sex that had just taken place. Wouldn't it be something for me to propose to her now? To tell Emilia that I would marry her. But as soon as the thought came my way, I was afraid to. Maybe later I would. For now I would just enjoy her company.
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