This chapter has been edited due to content. I made minor edits in the chapter. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
"Are you certain?" I asked Sam with fear in my voice.
The maester in training, technically former maester in training, looked shy as always. Now, though, there was also shock in his face. That was unsurprising as the same look must also be on my face. I was just as shocked by his conclusion as he was.
"Yes, Ser Jorah," Sam said slowly. "Your dreams are accurate. You are Azor Ahai Reborn. You are the only one that can help us to defeat the White Walkers. If you die then everything is lost."
"Sam." Gilly reprimanded her child.
I took the moment to distract myself. Maybe after a few minutes the shock would wear away. I was back in Sam's room where he was staying with Gilly and Little Sam. The cold didn't bother any of us as we were all distracted. Gilly with her duties to Little Sam. Little Sam with whatever simple thoughts were going through his head. Sam and myself by the revelation of the Azor Ahai Prophecy.
"I know it isn't the answer you wanted." Sam added apologetically.
"I wanted the truth." I replied.
The moment of distraction was gone and I was back in the moment. In my younger years I would've felt I had earned the status of a legendary hero. But those were the days when youth only thought of futures filled with honor. Those were the days long before I had committed dishonor on my house for the sake of my second wife. Those days were now lost and all I was left with was the truth. I could do dishonorable things and I was the last person to be a legendary hero.
"But you're wondering why you're Azor Ahai." Sam said.
"I doubt you have an answer for that." I replied.
"Sadly I don't. Nothing I found answered the question of why."
I chuckled softly at that. Of course the gods would never reveal their reasons. They had most likely made me Azor Ahai as a kind of joke amongst themselves. It must grow boring being so powerful and so amusements had to be made. I wondered which one had decided on me. I wondered which one had looked into the future and so condemned me to my fate.
"There is one last question you can answer." I said. "Was Daenerys right? Did the prophets misinterpret what they saw?"
"You want to know if her death was your fault?" Sam asked and I nodded. "I don't believe it was. Prophets are only able to see what they are shown. I've never had a vision so I'm not sure what prophets see. I can guess, though, that they see a combination of both visual and emotional signs. Prophecies are notoriously hard to understand which means prophets are never given the full picture. Your guilt most likely clouded what they saw."
"I did feel extremely guilty."
I had tried to give my burden to Jon. That wasn't something he deserved. He was one of the most honorable men I had known in my life. It shouldn't have fallen to him to bear the burden of my guilt.
"Thank you, again, for your help." I told the man. "I am sorry that I can't give you any other task to replace it."
"Just because I have solved the Azor Ahai Prophecy doesn't mean the task is done." Sam said with a large grin on his face. "I still have to write my findings. With your permission, I'd like to write both your history and your dealings with the White Walkers. Even though I am no longer a maester, I'd like to be the man to write this part of history."
Every maester would trade his soul to write about the Azor Ahai Prophecy. At least now that it was proven to be true. The person who wrote down this part of history would be long remembered. Especially if that person wasn't just observing the events from far away. It was the kind of glory that Sam would revel in. It was the kind of glory I could understand but didn't want for myself. My strengths were on the battlefield, not spending years writing histories.
"You are free to take up your time with that pursuit." I said with a small smile. "Just promise me you'll make it out of this war alive."
"Shouldn't we be safe in Winterfell?" Gilly asked once Little Sam fell asleep.
"We don't know what tactics the White Walkers use. They could very well overthrow Winterfell."
Gilly turned to look at the child's sleeping form. I had never had a child of my own but there was no mystery of what the Wildling was feeling. She was like a mother bear looking at her cub. If only I could promise her safety in these trying times.
"I should go now." I told them. "In only a few short hours there will be yet another meeting."
"Jorah," Sam said. "I'm sorry about telling Jon. It's just...it's just...the two of us are like brothers. When we were in the Night's Watch he was the man I was closest with. I couldn't hide such a secret from him."
"Nor should you if given the chance. I understand why you did it. I will not hold that decision against you."
Sam's grin showed that he was more than relieved. It must have pained him to decide between his loyalty to me and Jon. To decide which one of us deserved the greater amount of respect. My own bias about the Stark did cloud my judgement. If I didn't love him so I would've been much angrier at Sam.
"Have you made your mind up about Jon's offer?" Sam asked.
"I have." I replied. "I have made my mind up about both Jon and Sansa."
"You like Sansa?"
"She has the fiery personality that Khaleesi had."
Plus she was beautiful. Whether that was all due to her personality or not wasn't something I'd tell my present company. After a few more minutes of talk I was able to leave Sam, Gilly, and Little Sam.
* * *
"Cersei is offering them more money, Jon." Davos replied. "Ser Jorah, how much money would we have to pay the Golden Company to make them break a contract?"
For the past hour the topic of the meeting was the Golden Company. Unfortunately we had to deal with them and couldn't just focus on the White Walkers. We had to focus on the lesser threat so we could survive the War for the Dawn. I could tell that it bothered Jon to not be able to fight the only war that mattered. The war where I was the only one who could make sure we came out the victors.
"It isn't a matter of money as much as honor." I replied. "If they were ever to break even one contract their reputation would be ruined. They have gained such high respect since they have never broken a contract. There is not enough money in Westeros to make them change their minds."
"I understand." Jon said angrily.
His eyes were tired and I wondered what made them so. Was it only the wars he had to face or was it me? Was he awake every night wondering if I'd agree to his proposal? Sansa looked at her brother with pity in her eyes. The Stark family had grown much smaller in recent years. Jon, Sansa, Bran, and Arya were all that remained. They were connected and truly cared for each other. If I married either Jon or Sansa I would be part of that legacy.
"Then we must fight them before taking on the White Walkers." Jon commanded. "We must hope that the dead don't launch a major attack while we take care of the Golden Company. We can't risk even one loss."
No, that wasn't something we could currently afford. The army of the dead gained new members from our losses. If we encountered too many losses then the White Walkers would become too strong to ever be defeated. Would it be possible that I could lead the living to victory in such a scenario?
"Before this meeting has ended, I have a declaration to make." I said and grew nervous as everyone's attention was on me. "I have thought about King Jon Stark's proposal for a long time. The decision I reached was not easy. Partially because of how I've been bought up to think about such an offer. Also the pain of Daenerys' loss."
Jon was doing his best to remain calm but failed. Sansa's face was a confusion of emotions. I wondered if she was conflicted about being glad for Jon's happiness and sad for her own. Arya looked nearly bored about the whole affair.
"I have decided to accept Jon's proposal." I said and felt a great burden being removed from my shoulders.
Grins graced the face of every Stark and there was much cheering in the Great Hall. Cries of 'Long Live the King' filled the air and I sat by Jon. The air between us was heated by passion. Each of us now knew for certain what would happen in the near future. Jon would be able to embrace me in the manner he had wanted for so long. Both of us had enough years to push the passion to the back of our minds. Now was the time for hard decisions. Lovemaking could come later.
"The Second King of Westeros." Sansa said. "You have more than earned that right, Jorah."
There was no jealousy on her face. The only emotion she showed was happiness for her brother. Even if she was jealous she wouldn't want to risk political unrest at the moment. She knew the true enemy and was wise enough to control herself. Maybe there was no jealousy in her. In any case, I could talk with her later if need be.
"Would the King like to make his first command?" Jaime said.
"My husband," I replied even though the words felt odd. "Has Targaryen blood in his veins. He is the only one that can ride a dragon."
"I am more wolf than dragon." Jon argued. "The dragons wouldn't let me get on them."
There was no conviction in the Stark's words or face. Instead there was fear. Fear about his Targaryen heritage and fear of dragons. Maybe it was because I had seen them grow up from hatchlings to the behemoths they were now. It was easy to understand Jon's fear even though it was annoying.
"Dragons are our greatest weapons against the dead." Davos pointed out. "You went to Dragonstone to get weapons to fight the dead. One of those weapons were the dragons."
Jon looked from me to Davos. His eyes begged me to change my mind. I couldn't do that, though. In the end everything depended on me. If I allowed myself to ignore a hard decision because of my emotions then Westeros was lost.
"I would suggest riding Rhaegal." I told Jon. "Drogon is most likely still in too much mourning over Daenerys to be ridden. It might be that some of your father's spirit is in Rhaegal."
"So my father would be protecting me from beyond the grave." Jon nodded. "You are both right. Dragons are a valuable weapon against the dead. I shouldn't deny a chance at victory because of my Stark heritage."
It sounded hard for him to say 'Stark heritage' instead of 'nervousness'. He was a leader and so couldn't show even momentary fear. Tyrion's small grin indicated I wasn't the only one to pick up on Jon's slip. Luckily no one seemed to doubt my husband because of it. Most likely since everyone in the room had a very healthy respect for dragons. Especially Jaime who had nearly been burned alive by Drogon. The older Lanniser nodded when Jon said 'Stark heritage' as if empathizing with him.
A few more minutes were spent talking about minor things. Winterfell still was in charge of the North and preparations for Winter needed to be finalized. Until the dead came we would prepare. Sansa Stark took charge of that duty not because she wanted to look good, but because it was right.
Within an hour it was only myself and Jon who were in the Great Hall. It felt odd to have finally made the decision. It felt odd to accept another man so fully into my life. Yet one glance at Jon reassured me that everything was good. He was a noble man and wise leader. It was him who would bring guidance when all thought hope was lost. I might be Azor Ahai, but I would be nothing without him.
"I am sorry for how I acted earlier." I said as we started to walk around the room. "I should have never blamed you for Khaleesi's death. If there is one person in the world who shouldn't be blamed, it is you."
"I understand that you were grieving." Jon replied. "I am excited that you said yes. I don't know if we'll have time for a proper ceremony until after the war."
"I have been married twice, my love. Weddings are ceremonies for us mortals. All that truly matters is that we love each other. I can wait for a proper ceremony."
We stopped walking and looked at each other. His eyes were innocent and yet he had seen true evil. Not the kind I had encountered but the evil of legends. Jon had come out stronger and unstained from the encounters. After I made sure no one was near, I allowed my emotions to take over.
I bent my head down just as my husband tilted his up. One of my hands rested on the back of his neck and the other in the small of his back as we kissed. Though both of us were trying to control ourselves, we gave in to our passion. Our kisses deepened and Jon grabbed my arms. Both of us pressed into each other as we felt our clothes constraining us.
"We should stop." I said as I reluctantly broke our kisses. "Someone could walk in at any moment. The last thing we need is a scandal."
"We're as good as married." Jon complained.
"Married couples shouldn't be seen fucking in such a public place."
We both chuckled at that. Jon who had the blood of Eddard Stark through his mother's side had briefly considered doing something profane. While we were alone at this moment, the Great Hall wouldn't remain quiet forever. Servants passed by and it wouldn't surprise me if Tyrion tried to sneak a peek. Not due to the fact he would be aroused but because it would amuse him.
"Neither of my fathers would be pleased with that." Jon finally said.
"I know Eddard would be proud of what you've done." I replied. "I don't have any real experience with Rhaegar but I know he would want his kin to be on the Iron Throne."
"And Lyanna?"
"Lyanna was both beautiful and spirited. She would've wanted the best for her child."
"Did you know her?"
"Not well but I know Northerners."
As we walked around Winterfell I could see that the news of our marriage had spread quickly. I looked out for eyes that would judge me. That would tell me that the gods would show me no mercy for my decision. Yet those eyes weren't there.
"Your Graces." A pair of servants said with a bow.
It felt wrong for them to be so accepting of us. From the corner of my eye I could see Jon struggling to hold back a laugh. Once the servants left my husband let out a chuckle. I glared at him but that did nothing to hold back his amusement.
"Before your glare would've frightened me." Jon said once he calmed down.
"And now?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.
"I know you hold no ill will for me and will never hurt me. I'm not afraid of you."
The briefest of smiles graced my face and then faded away. Before I could reply Sansa walked by. She spared only a glance to look at us before going away. She had her duties just as we had ours. For now Jon and myself could relax but soon enough we would be called to action. Called to fight the Golden Company.
I wondered if I had made the right choice. Jon was the noblest person I knew and had proved himself to me. Sansa was more than beautiful and had grown strong. She had not backed down from Ramsay. While she was not a warrior, she was cunning in her own way. While she had counted on Littlefinger, she had learned to defeat him. That was a feat not many could have done.
What would have happened if I had asked for her hand instead of Jon? I knew the man would not have blamed me or Sansa for our choice. It would mean that the Iron Throne did not have someone to sit on it if Jon died. Yet things would have worked out. I was certain that if Jon had died Sansa would be declared his heir. Then she and I would've been the rulers of Westeros.
Things would've worked out either way. With either I would've been with someone I loved. Both offered enough differences to make them unique. Yet both offered enough similarities to make them the same.
"What are you thinking about?" Jon asked.
"I don't know how to explain my thoughts, Jon." I admitted. "I didn't have to say yes to your proposal. I could've offered my hand to Sansa. I do love both of you."
"What made you choose me?"
"It's not that I love you more than your sister. It's that I love you."
"You're right. You can't explain your thoughts."
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