This chapter has been edited due to content. I edited a sex scene to only plot relevant dialogue. If you want to see the unedited version GO HERE.
In a short amount of time we would finally be at Winterfell. Daenerys should be here to see one of the most important places in the North. Being a Mormont, I would always consider Bear Island the most important place in the North. But that had more to do with pride than anything else. I had to take a moment to steady my horse when Jaime rode up beside me.
The Lannister had been more than humble ever since the meeting. Maybe he thought acting so would give him a better chance at redemption. Or maybe he knew to fight the true evil in the world he'd have to work with us. He also would have to know that he held no position here. No longer was he in such an honored position as Lord Commander of the Queensguard. Now he was a soldier whose place was still being decided.
"I know my brother loved Queen Daenerys Targaryen." Jaime said and I looked at him. "I can also tell you love her more. Are the rumors true that you wear the arrow that shot her? I doubt that Cersei would be that sentimental. I even doubt Tyrion would do something like that."
"Yes, the rumors are true on that front." I replied. "I don't think it matters who loved Daenerys more or who loved her less. It doesn't change who she chose nor the fact she is dead. My own feelings for her doesn't change anything in this world."
"And that is how you know a noble man. Someone else would take comfort in the fact that they were the one to love her the most. Someone else might even go on to curse her for not choosing them."
"Those people are fools."
I was a jealous man. When Drogo was married to her and when Daario fucked her, I had been mad. But I had known not to take my anger out on her. She should be able to choose her suitors without restraints. It had been hard, especially with Daario who had taken to gloating in my face about it, but worth it. She had been happy and that's all I cared about. Jon would've made her happy for years to come. Maybe he could've even given her children. Somehow he could've found a way to break the curse.
"Those people are the majority." Jaime continued. "The love you had for Daenerys was something special. It was something more true than most people have in their lives."
"Are you complimenting me or bemoaning not being in Cersei's bed?" I asked coldly.
I didn't want to have this conversation now. Especially not with someone that I didn't count among my friends. Thinking about Daenerys' death made it hurt even worse. It was as if she were continually dying in front of me. I was always begging her not to leave me and yet she continued to die. Over and over again. I tried to tap into the rage I felt for Jon and yet that didn't work well anymore.
"Not intentionally." Jaime answered. "But how can I help it? I spent my entire life attached to her. Even when we were born I was holding on to her. I didn't want to be separated from her at all. Yet all that love and devotion meant nothing in the end. She decided gloating was a much better thing to do than help Tommen. If she had just been by his side he would be alive. Though he'd be broken. He loved his wife, though I have doubts how much she loved him."
"I could tell you didn't mean us any harm by your past." I told him. "I did everything in my power to make my second wife happy and yet she abandoned me. You and I have both wasted time on those who cared nothing for us."
"And are you still pinning her?"
"I'm not."
I didn't hate her. I had long since abandoned any feelings about her. It was more than pointless to pine after someone who cared nothing for you. The past could be a trap that would never let you go. I refrained from saying my second wife's name as I didn't remember it most days. I remembered the events surrounding her, but I sometimes failed to recall her name. I had moved on from her and she from me.
"Your Grace." Jaime said to someone behind me.
A grin came over Jaime's face as Jon came into view. He was truly royalty even though he'd be born a bastard. He had a commanding presence that you couldn't help but respect. I was still more than angry at him, but that anger was fading. I had to reach down deep inside to find any hate for him. Maybe one day that anger would fade away just like my second wife's name had.
"Shall I leave you two alone?" Jaime asked and put on a more stoic expression.
"Yes," Jon replied with a slight nod. "I need to speak to Daenerys' advisor alone."
With one final look, Jaime left us. Though he still stayed close as to protect us against any enemy that may try to harm us. I would've advised against that but one stray arrow had already killed a powerful figure. Another stray arrow may just kill Jon. While his death might satisfy me for a moment, I didn't want him gone forever.
"What do you want to discuss?" I asked.
"I want to talk about Daenerys." Jon replied calmly. "I think you would want to hear what she said to me on the boat."
"Jon, I am old but not senile. I am very well aware what lovers discuss in their rooms. I've had many discussions like that myself. When I was younger I would lie to the maidens I conquered. I knew they did the same to me. At least those wise enough wouldn't tell the truth."
A blush came over Jon's face. Good. I had figured him for someone that would be embarrassed by such sexual talk. But in the back of my mind I knew there was another reason. I just didn't understand what that reason was at the moment.
"I'm not talking about making love to some common whore." Jon said sternly.
"No, you're talking about what lovers discuss in bed. You hardly knew Daenerys and it was your first time ******* her." I replied. "Ever since I saw you on Dragonstone you've been trying to woo her in the worst possible ways. You even endangered an alliance with Cersei Lannister because of your ****."
"An alliance that was doomed to fail."
"But did you know that at the time?"
Jon didn't reply and merely kept riding. He was silent for some time and I began to hope he would stay quiet. I didn't need to talk to him when my mind was so confused. It wanted to be mad at the bastard and yet it still admired him. If I knew Jon better I'd have started to discuss my current state with him, but I didn't.
"I would think that you'd want to know what Daenerys said to me." Jon said.
"The last words she spoke were to me." I retorted. "I don't need to hear what she said after you ****** her."
"I think you do."
If any other man tried to act like Jon was, I would've been certain what he wanted to discuss. Any other man would want to brag about how good the sex was or how much Daenerys enjoyed it. But Jon was very much like his father and so I was confused about what he wanted to talk about. He wasn't like Daario Naharis who would be taking this time to gloat. But was what Jon going to say actually important?
"Let me play your game." I replied angrily. "Let's say I think you have something important to say."
"It has to do with the first meeting with Jaime." Jon replied. "When he asked who the king is-"
"That Daenerys said you were to be her king. Even if it was in the throes of passion, it would be binding. It is the only declaration we would have from her. Though I highly doubt you should be saying that to anyone else as they might not believe the Northerner who bedded a Targaryen."
"You are impossible at times, Jorah."
I did not understand his ire at my reply. No, not ire, just exhaustion. Was I supposed to argue with him about Daenerys' declaration? I knew he had no love for power but I wouldn't lie merely to satisfy him. It was my advice to Khaleesi that had helped her rise to greatness, I would not give Jon anything less than my best. That meant saying things that didn't please him from time to time.
"Let's say that Daenerys declared for me to be king." Jon said as he shook his head. "I still need someone to rule by my side."
"You will need to find someone that is honorable and has a title." I advised. "Someone that can help unite Westeros after all the fighting is done. I have not been in the Seven Kingdoms for quite some time and so I'm unaware of exactly who would make a good match."
"What if I don't want someone with a title?"
"That does open up options."
Again Jon let out a long sigh and looked at me. He wasn't angry. It was a look a man would give a dear friend. A dear friend who was being an idiot. Why did it make me so happy for him to think of me as a dear friend? I felt good beyond knowing I had a purpose and that fact frightened me. I hid from the thing I feared and pretended not to know its name.
"Jorah, I needed to tell you this first." Jon said nervously. "I haven't said anything since Daenerys' death as you didn't want to speak to me. I doubt you'd want to consider this option."
"So why are you telling me now?" I asked.
"Because it needs to be said no matter how you react. Jorah, you were Daenerys' oldest friend and the man she could always count on. The man she could say anything to and you wouldn't judge her as others would."
"If you are merely asking me to be your advisor, you needn't have feared asking me. You were dear to Daenerys and you are also the best ruler for Westeros. Of course I'd accept the position."
"That's not what I'm asking. I'm asking for you to be my king."
Jon nearly jumped from his horse when I laughed. I looked back and could see fear on Jaime's face. Most people never knew me to show any emotion. Did Jon think I wanted to make love to my love's killer? Did he think he could handle me in bed? His proposal to marry me was beyond insane.
"Jon, you must be suffering more than you show." I told him. "Did you give me Longclaw because you wanted to **** me? Did you defend me in front of Jaime because you wanted my **** deep inside of you?"
"Yes," Jon said and looked away from me. "You're a good man. The only reason you're so harsh towards me now is because you're suffering. Once you are able to see past the pain, you'll be as you were before."
"And do you think I am interested in men that way? One or two sessions with whores in the past doesn't mean I want to be with a man."
That was not entirely the truth. While I'd always prefer a woman, those few encounters with men had been more than pleasurable. But that was in the past. I had already shamed my House enough, hadn't I? Or would marrying Jon mean there'd be no shame in being with a man? Was I seriously considering Jon's offer? I shook my head to get his ideas out of my mind.
The rest of the ride to Winterfell was silent. When we arrived Sansa Stark was standing at the entrance as was Arya Stark. The younger Stark rushed out to greet Jon just as Ghost did the same. I couldn't help but smile to see such happiness. The bastard had only recently found out that Arya was still alive. There was much laughing and brief exchanges of words that made no sense to my ears. During this time my eyes were left to wander.
Sansa was a beautiful and dangerous woman. While she didn't fight with the sword, she was still a formidable foe. There were ways to bring down opponents without lifting a sword, after all. Her story was one fraught with obstacles that she always overcame. She had endured Ramsay Bolton and had killed him in the end. Such a wondrous thing shouldn't have had to go through all that.
I wondered if she could love a man again after all she had been through. The way she looked at me indicated she was interested, though I didn't know if that meant she would decide to bed me. Fantasies of her came easy to my mind, unlike fantasies of Jon. A woman like her would need to be treated more than kindly during the first coupling.
Suddenly a great sense of guilt washed over me. I shouldn't be fantasizing about Sansa. It was wrong. My mind took awhile until it could figure out why I felt guilty. Daenerys had died recently and I shouldn't be looking for others to make love to. Even though that should be the reason I felt guilty, another reason was on the edge of my mind. I considered it and then shivered at the thought.
"Ser Jorah Mormont?" Sansa asked as she walked over to me.
"Yes, my lady." I nodded.
"Father never talked of you fondly."
"He wouldn't have. I sold people into slavery and dishonored my House. My own father declared I wasn't to possess Longclaw anymore."
"Yet you have it now."
"Jon gave it from me when I asked."
Sansa turned away from me to look at her siblings. Yet I thought there was a different reason. If she was interested in me then she was struggling with her own thoughts. It would be hard for her to trust any man after what she had endured.
"You are strong." I told her. "Not many could survive what you did."
"I wasn't strong." She argued and looked at me. "I only did what I had to. It wasn't bravery. If you're tired of being on your horse I can have someone take it to the stables and be looked after."
I nodded and got off the horse. After a few minutes a guard went to take it to the stables. Once Sansa and I had a little privacy I could tell that she was nervous around me. Yet she edged closer to me. There was a look of longing mixed with hesitation on her face. It beckoned to me as much as it pushed me away.
To test where I stood with her, I reached out for her hands which she eagerly slipped into mine. Daenerys had grabbed my hands on the beach of Dragonstone. Her eyes, too, had called out to me. I should've kissed her that day. Yet I hadn't wanted to force myself on her.
"Are you okay, Ser Jorah?" Sansa asked and I realized I was crying.
"Daenerys Targaryen died." I said and let go of her.
"And you think you're being unfaithful to her?"
"You don't deserve to be the means I use to escape my pain."
Sansa nodded. She hadn't been afraid of me and had welcomed my touch. If I had been a weaker man I would've taken her. I would've seen exactly what she wanted from me. But I had the guilt to deal with. My life had been marked by dishonoring my House and I wouldn't soon repeat that mistake. But the memory of Daenerys dying in my arms made me wonder if I was past saving.
"I thought that Jon was bedding her as he bent the knee." Sansa said with disdain in her voice. "Him being in love is the only reason I can see for such foolishness."
"You're not used to him feeling romantic feelings towards someone?" I asked.
She laughed and shook her head. I wasn't going to tell her that Jon had just proposed to me. Not because I thought it would ruin my chances with her but because it embarrassed me. Those feelings were shameful and there didn't need to be more dishonor thrown my way. It might even get people to gossiping about what other men I desired. If I were to be honest, Jon was different from other men and he shouldn't be judged by their standards.
"I think he only loved one person." Sansa said with a smile. "Some Wildling. I don't know her name but I've heard others mention her. Besides that, no one else caught his eye."
"Maybe he tried to be with Daenerys to escape his pain." I replied. "I know how hard it is to resist the need to dull anguish."
"I can't offer either of you help on that front, but I can give you time to rest before the first meeting. You should try to clear your head before serious matters are discussed."
Soon after that we were all escorted to our rooms. Mine was small with a fireplace, bed, and desk. I took off my furs and let them fall to the floor. The only clothing that remained were the bare minimum to keep me warm. I went into my bed and fell asleep instantly. A part of me was afraid that soon I would be having another nightmare where Khaleesi would die in my arms.
The air around me turned warm unlike the room I had fallen asleep in. In this dream, that didn't truly feel like a dream, I couldn't see. The only things I noticed were the heat and voices. The heat I could understand but the voices didn't make sense. It was as though a few different languages were trying to form themselves into one. The problem was that they were too different to make sense of.
"Jorah!" The voices said as I suddenly was able to understand. "When the red star bleeds and the darkness gathers, Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone. Jorah!"
The legend of Azor Ahai was something that had been talked about as of late. A red priestess had said Daenerys was the hero reborn. Another red priestess had said that Jon was the hero reborn. Now these voices claimed I was the hero reborn. The voices had to be wrong as the gods wouldn't choose me to play a big part. I had dishonored my House and allowed Daenerys to die.
Suddenly I was able to see my surroundings. I was in Khaleesi's tent that she had had when married to Khal Drogo. The voices grew too loud to bear and then all of a sudden they were silent when a woman entered the tent. I knew this was a dream but a smile formed on my face anyways.
"Khaleesi!" I said too shocked to get up.
She looked as beautiful as I remembered. Her skin was the unique paleness of a Targaryen as was her hair. She wore the clothing she had donned while Drogo had been alive. She looked as stunning in it as she did in her more feminine garbs. Daenerys sat down beside me and we looked at each other in silence.
"I am sorry." I told her. "If I had only been by your side I would-"
"Not have been able to stop the arrow." She said and touched my cheek. "My sweet bear, there is nothing that you could have done to save me. But if it comforts you any, I forgive you."
"I shouldn't be forgiven."
"Will you dare argue with me?"
Daenerys smiled and I nodded. In certain matters it was impossible to argue with her. Besides, she was here with me in a dream I was so sure wasn't actually a dream. Things felt much too real here.
"Do you hear the words?" Daenerys asked me.
"Yes." I replied.
"Do you believe them?"
"You may love me but that doesn't make me Azor Ahai. I am too stained to be a prophesied hero."
"You don't understand how the gods work, my love. You are Azor Ahai and I am Nissa Nissa. The prophets interpreted your guilt as the truth. They thought because you believed so deeply that you killed me, that you did."
'My love'. She loved me. If only I was certain this wasn't a dream so I could know that she did love me. This didn't feel like a dream so it was possible that I was talking with her. If only we could've reciprocated our feelings in life instead of waiting until after she died.
"I am sorry, Khaleesi, but I'll need more proof." I told her.
"Of course." She replied. "You were reborn twice amongst salt and smoke. The first time was when I stepped out of the flames unburnt. That time you also awoke my dragons from stone."
"I did not mean for that to happen. I was unaware that it was possible for dragons to again enter the world."
"If you had stopped me then the dragons wouldn't have been born. You woke them. The second time you were reborn into my king. The salt was your tears and the smoke was my death. When a fire goes out there is smoke."
Her king? I looked at her and she touched my leg.
"After I had sex with Jon, I realized I didn't love him." Daenerys said. "I realized I had been running from my feelings for so long. Jon also admitted to trying to move on from his first love. He admitted to having feelings for another. You are the true king of Westeros."
This had to be a dream. Daenerys was saying she loved me, she chose me as her king, I was Azor Ahai, and she was Nissa Nissa. All of these were things I wanted. Except for being a king and Azor Ahai. It made sense for my queen to be involved in the prophecy. A man like me was not fit for great things.
"We need to make up for lost time." Daenerys said.
The next series of moments were full of skin against skin. With every motion it felt as if this was no dream. No dreams of her had felt like this before.
"I should've done that while I was alive." Daenerys said once we had finished making love. "I should've made love to you in Meereen instead of Daario. I should've come to Westeros with you as my husband. My king."
"You forget what people think of me." I replied chuckling. "They don't see me as you do. Instead they see the man that sold poachers into slavery. Besides, any marriage would need to be for political benefits."
"I fully forgot about doing that. Jon would've been good for a political marriage. But...but I have lost so much, my love. He was already faithful to my cause, I didn't need him as a king."
"If you were still alive I'd advise you against dismissing him."
"Even if I asked for your hand?"
"Ye-Daenerys, that isn't fair."
She had started to gently ride me again. We laughed and then she got off me. Both of us were soon in her bed. She played with my necklace as the sun began to set and coldness started setting in. Every time one of her fingers would gently brush against my skin I felt like ******* her again.
"If I am truly Azor Ahai, the arrowhead must be Lightbringer." I joked and she laughed softly.
"Oh my sweet bear, you need to believe." Khaleesi said. "Your necklace isn't Lightbringer, not exactly. It is a conduit for the powers you will only have for a short amount of time."
"How long?"
"Until the Night King is defeated."
"And what if no one is able to defeat him?"
Daenerys let go of my necklace and caressed my face. If I were truly the legendary hero then I was Westeros' last hope. If I died then the Seven Kingdoms would be doomed. I leaned my face into her hand and decided to make sure that this was truly no dream. Until then I wouldn't worry about being the only one who could defeat the Night King.
"You will defeat him." Daenerys said with nervousness in her voice. "You have to defeat him so you will."
"I wish I was as certain as you." I replied.
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