The darkness receded and I thought I heard noises. Gravity was pulling down on me and I realized I must be hanging somewhere. I was hanging by my wrists and ankles. I must have been captured by the Terminators that had attacked 'Ol Jack Camp. Unfortunately, my muscles weren't cooperating which meant I had been hanging for awhile.
My eyes opened further but my vision was blurred. I could now tell that I was above a pit, whether it was metal or dirt I couldn't tell, and there were human-like blurs in front of me. I tried to scream but what came out could only be described as a gasp.
What had really happened? Were these people Greys? If they were, then I was going to have a hell of time getting out. One of the human-like blurs came in front of me and I tried to stare at him angrily.
I heard a woman call him John Connor. The John Connor? Leader of the Resistance? I continued to look at him as my vision cleared. And, when it fully cleared I did a real gasp. He was like an angel. All he was missing were a halo and wings. Screw the harp, his body looked like it could make music on its own.
I had to reel myself back in when I realized he thought that I was the enemy. Because, if he didn't, I wouldn't be hanging here.
"Who are you?" John asked angrily. His voice matched his body.
"Jash." I replied and there was silence. After a few seconds both my vision and hearing were back to normal.
"Where were you made?"
"Made? I was born." I replied. I was human. I was born not made.
"Then who was your mother?" He asked and I was stumped.
"I don't know. Does it really matter? I fight Skynet now and my life before doesn't matter."
"A person would remember who their mother was."
"What if I'm not just an ordinary girl?" I said softly to him. I tried to take as much anger out of my voice as I could. He didn't deserve it. He was only doing his job.
"Maybe you aren't." John said and walked away.
I had just met an angel and he wanted to drag me to Hell. My only hope was a man. The man asked a woman, "Have you ever seen Connor go lightly on metal before?"
I wasn't metal, but the first part was true. John didn't hate me.
*************
After a few days I was finally let down. Unfortunately it wasn't to admit that I was innocent and a member of the Resistance. Instead I was put into a cell. I was constantly guarded by an ever changing number of guards. The most I had seen were 4 guards.
Sometimes I was given food, but most of the time I wasn't. It was like I was less than human. This continued on for weeks until I thought it would never end until I died. And, if I died, I wished I could see John Connor before I did.
That wish was answered when the door opened. I was prepared to eat whatever came through the door. What stepped through the door was John Connor and I just sat where I was. By his expression I realized that he had made a difficult decision. Whatever the decision was, I knew it wouldn't be good for me.
John shut the door and stood there. He looked me in the eyes and I could tell it was hard for him. "Jash, I've decided what to do with you." He finally said.
"What?" I asked and leaned forward.
"You're a danger to the Resistance. It's not safe enough for you to live."
"If it's not safe enough for me to live, why are you here?" I asked and stood up. "And what do you mean a danger to the Resistance? I've done nothing but help the Resistance? True, I was brainwashed a good majority of the time, but I will always have my loyalty."
"Are you sure the loyalty wasn't just part of the brainwashing?" John asked.
"No." I said and thought about it for a few seconds. "My loyalty is buried so deep that it has to be a part of me. I can't imagine it ever being taken from me."
I didn't tell him, but my loyalty was originally just for the Resistance and now some of it was for him. I didn't know why. I had never been a believer in love at first sight. But maybe there was something to the saying?
As I thought this I could tell that John was going through his own decisions. Finally he said, "I don't think you have to die. Your hybrid model, I believe, can survive without a chip." He started to open the door and looked at me with pity in his eyes. "If not, we will bury you. I promise."
As he left my cell and closed the door I yelled out, "I'm not metal! I'm not metal! I'm not metal!"
*******************************************
"No!" I yelled out. I couldn't move so I took to screaming. "Talk to John Connor! There must have been a mistake!"
Barely able to turn my head, I could still tell that I was being held on a metal operating table. Any movements were cut off by cuffs. Any second thoughts were cut off by Barnes, one of John's most trusted comrades, and his gun.
There was also a woman in the room. She had introduced herself as Katherine Connor, the wife of John Connor. This would've meant something to me if my current situation was different.
"I'm not metal!" I screamed out. "You're going to kill me! There is no chip! Please, stop! I'm loyal to the Resistance! Please believe me!"
"I'm giving her a shot." Kate said and I tried to see where she was. "I can't operate on this thing if it isn't quiet."
"My plan would be quick." Barnes said.
"John wants it alive and functional." Kate said and suddenly I felt something go into my veins and I was calm.
Hell, I was more than calm. I suddenly realized that life wasn't a dream but a nightmare. And that made me laugh. I didn't mind that I suddenly couldn't speak, that didn't matter. What mattered was that John liked me, I liked John, and I was going to die happy.
As I felt a hole going into my head I realized Kate was sort of cute. Well, she could be cute if I wasn't going to die and John was married to her. There was a sharp pain and I started to see and feel the past. Well, it wasn't the past I knew. It was the real past.
I had never been part of the Resistance. I had been modified by Skynet. I had been its test rat. I was a hybrid, I finally realized. John hadn't been wrong in calling me metal, I was a Terminator. The only light I could turn to was the fact that I hadn't been born metal. I had been human, but Skynet must've erased those memories.
"Ah!" I yelled out. Or thought I did. Did it really matter at this point?
An image popped into my head of the party after my first battle. Or maybe I had seen many battles and those memories would soon come back to me. But that party wasn't a party, it had been to get a fluid into me. Why couldn't they be humane and just literally fuck me silly?
And the doctor had been checking out how much damage had been done to my body. The fluid helped control me. It had seemed like alcohol to me at the time.
And one of the strangest things, the two lesbians kissing and my male comrades reacting like schoolboys, was to help test my thinking process. I stumbled because my Maker didn't want me to go too far. Skynet hadn't just wanted a zombie, it wanted something that could think and reason. Within certain parameters, of course.
I felt my body again and the tears coming out of my eyes. I killed Jesse Flores. I knew that now. Her death, among the others I must have killed, remained the darkest.
I could hardly tell when Kate made sure I was stable. Though I was able to answer her questions. She appeared kinder to me now, or maybe it was her training. I assumed she was a doctor.
As I cried, I saw Barnes looking at me angrily. I didn't care for I should be hated. No, I had to have a different outlook. The drug Kate had given me had shown me a different outlook on life. That's the outlook I wanted and would keep from now on.
**************************
My head hurt. That was the one thought that was greatest in my mind. The other thought could be summed up as: why the hell was I back in my cell? I wasn't going to hurt anyone. With this headache I couldn't hurt a fly. Except if it was by accident.
I heard footsteps that were louder than I was used to. Not louder due to my hybrid senses, but because of the damn headache. I waited calmly to see who would come through the door. And who should appear but Barnes.
Barnes' expression was angry and there wasn't one inch of him where anger didn't shine through. I could tell that he was trying to hold himself back. However, the chances of that lasting long wasn't high.
"How dare you." Barnes finally said. "Pretending to be human. Wearing our skin and faking our emotions."
"You mean how dare I let Skynet violate me without my agreement?" I said and leaned forward. "Yeah, how dare I."
This whole using what I felt from the drugs was working out well. At least I was feeling better. Barnes, not so much.
After a few minutes he came back with, "You don't remember. You told Kate that. You could've been a Grey."
"If I was I'm not now." I replied. "Whatever I was before doesn't matter now. Now I am fully loyal to the Resistance and a comrade to the cause."
"But you did fight for Skynet. Or have you forgotten that?"
"I will never forget and I will probably have nightmares about it in the future. For now, though, all I can promise is my loyalty to the Resistance."
Barnes put his face close to mine and I could smell the hate. It wasn't unprovoked, I had worked for Skynet before. "Nothing will ever make up for what you did, you-" He said and stopped as John entered the cell.
Barnes quickly stood up and saluted John. John's gaze, however, went to mine. In that brief moment where our eyes met, there were so many strong emotions that we both felt. I sent him the feelings of new love and he sent that back to me with the added emotion of regret.
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The Eternal Heart Blog aka The Wars Against Skynet
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