"No!" I yelled out. I couldn't move so I took to screaming. "Talk to John Connor! There must have been a mistake!"
Barely able to turn my head, I could still tell that I was being held on a metal operating table. Any movements were cut off by cuffs. Any second thoughts were cut off by Barnes, one of John's most trusted comrades, and his gun.
There was also a woman in the room. She had introduced herself as Katherine Connor, the wife of John Connor. This would've meant something to me if my current situation was different.
"I'm not metal!" I screamed out. "You're going to kill me! There is no chip! Please, stop! I'm loyal to the Resistance! Please believe me!"
"I'm giving her a shot." Kate said and I tried to see where she was. "I can't operate on this thing if it isn't quiet."
"My plan would be quick." Barnes said.
"John wants it alive and functional." Kate said and suddenly I felt something go into my veins and I was calm.
Hell, I was more than calm. I suddenly realized that life wasn't a dream but a nightmare. And that made me laugh. I didn't mind that I suddenly couldn't speak, that didn't matter. What mattered was that John liked me, I liked John, and I was going to die happy.
As I felt a hole going into my head I realized Kate was sort of cute. Well, she could be cute if I wasn't going to die and John was married to her. There was a sharp pain and I started to see and feel the past. Well, it wasn't the past I knew. It was the real past.
I had never been part of the Resistance. I had been modified by Skynet. I had been its test rat. I was a hybrid, I finally realized. John hadn't been wrong in calling me metal, I was a Terminator. The only light I could turn to was the fact that I hadn't been born metal. I had been human, but Skynet must've erased those memories.
"Ah!" I yelled out. Or thought I did. Did it really matter at this point?
An image popped into my head of the party after my first battle. Or maybe I had seen many battles and those memories would soon come back to me. But that party wasn't a party, it had been to get a fluid into me. Why couldn't they be humane and just literally fuck me silly?
And the doctor had been checking out how much damage had been done to my body. The fluid helped control me. It had seemed like alcohol to me at the time.
And one of the strangest things, the two lesbians kissing and my male comrades reacting like schoolboys, was to help test my thinking process. I stumbled because my Maker didn't want me to go too far. Skynet hadn't just wanted a zombie, it wanted something that could think and reason. Within certain parameters, of course.
I felt my body again and the tears coming out of my eyes. I killed Jesse Flores. I knew that now. Her death, among the others I must have killed, remained the darkest.
I could hardly tell when Kate made sure I was stable. Though I was able to answer her questions. She appeared kinder to me now, or maybe it was her training. I assumed she was a doctor.
As I cried, I saw Barnes looking at me angrily. I didn't care for I should be hated. No, I had to have a different outlook. The drug Kate had given me had shown me a different outlook on life. That's the outlook I wanted and would keep from now on.
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The Eternal Heart Blog aka The Wars Against Skynet
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