Courting of Lillith

Authors Note: This is for an rp I'm in. So there is a lot of back story there isn't room to mention here. As well as the rp there is my fanfic series (The Eternal Heart) that this mini-series relates to. So if you're lost just ask me and I can tell you what wouldn't be considered spoilers in those two mediums.

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The air in the room was thick with hours of boredom. Torturing a Terminator wasn't fun at all, it was just tedious. For me, it was like torturing a family member. I was a Xeno named Jash Connor. I was a pure biological Terminator unlike the one I was torturing for information. I could see all its wires and parts over the room.

Metal felt pain. Maybe not like a human, but it did. No one else in the Resistance understood that and I wasn't about to teach them. They wouldn't understand. Luckily I had been torturing the Terminator alone. It was lucky since only I heard the name Lillith.

I stepped out of the room and thought about her. The last time I had seen her had been at the massacre, pre-Judgment Day, at the hospital. The last time I had kissed her had been...before I had met the Lillith that currently existed.

According to the Terminator I had tortured, Lillith was alive and in the custody of Skynet. As I leaned against the wall, my comrades walked past me without saying a word. I was glad of that. My appearance of Terminator blood was probably what made them steer clear of me.

As I walked away from the room I debated about telling Marty, the man in charge now. The man who had killed John Connor. True, my love had turned to the crazy side but Marty had still killed him. Martin Bedell killed John Connor.

So should I tell him? We had shared a simple kiss, an unneeded addition to my long memory, but that had been it. We had both been happy but now Lillith could return to me. So should I tell Marty?

No, I shouldn't. If he questioned about why Lillith left me there were things I couldn't tell him. Things that would change his entire outlook about me. If he knew the depths I could go to and what sins I could commit, I'd lose his trust. And his comradeship was one of the only things helping me to move on.

I wouldn't tell Marty. So now I was on my own to rescue Lillith who I was afraid to meet. Who knows how she would be now. I went to the hanger and looked at the choppers. I heard a sound and then a voice.

It said, "What you doing?"

"Just going to do a scouting mission."

"Should you? I mean, Martin's kid and all?" Marcus asked.

"That won't be a problem." I replied. "I'll be back in a few hours."

Marcus looked at me, ready to argue, but he backed away. It took a few minutes, but I took off after the location said by the Terminator.

* * *


The sun was setting and I was getting close to the Skynet base. Close to the base and close to Lillith. Deciding to not be too suicidal I landed a mile away from the base. True, I wanted to attract attention while my logical mind said that wasn't a good idea. But, hell, I hadn't been logical for a long time now.

When I exited the helicopter, I made sure that my katanas were secure on my back. Didn't want the special Coltan cutting blades getting lost. It took a short time to get to the entrance, at least the entrance I was going to use. But even though it took a short time to get to my entrance, it seemed a lot longer. I was afraid of finding Lillith and only to lose her.

The entrance I was using was the back of a small Terminator factory. I only say small because I had seen much bigger ones. And the fact that the majority of the base was a prison camp. As I went through the entrance I heard a sound and dodged.

A Terminator had followed me and I would have blood to show my love! I sliced off one of its arm as it shot part of my face off. Blood splattered onto my clothing as I healed. The next moment saw me slicing its head off.

But that wasn't the only one for the alarm had been sounded. Skynet knew Jash Connor was in the base, but didn't know why. It had created me and I had defeated it once in a different timeline.

More Terminators came at me and I sliced the metal down as it kept on trying to slice me. As they were my brothers, so to speak, they knew my weakness. This meant a lot of fancy dancing to protect my heart. Bullets came dangerously close to destroying my heart and I blacked out for a few seconds as one came too close.

I woke up while being slammed against the wall and my spine breaking. I yelled out as I took one katana to cut its gun in half and the other to slice its head off. More blood was taken from me and I ran looking for Lillith's room.

I managed to hide and lose the metal chasing me. I didn't know for how long so I hurried up searching. After what felt like hours I found her. Maybe by chance or maybe because life was giving me a break.

I cut open the door and Lillith stood up. She was ready to take death and all of its tricks. At least I assumed she was Lillith until I got a better view. Her breasts had become fuller and she looked more aged. More crazed was a better description, though. Was that my fault?

After a few nanoseconds she grinned at me. If she were more like me, she would've hugged me. But, really, we hadn't left on the best of terms. Plus, there were Terminators after us.

I signaled to her and she followed me.

"Duck!" I yelled as a Terminator shot at her and, since she had gotten down in time, hit me in the stomach.

"Jash!" She exclaimed as I cut off its arm. She had never seen me heal before. Not this version of her, at least. When Lillith recovered, which was very quickly, she took its gun.

"Swords." She said and shook her head.

"Katanas." I grumbled and the battle for our freedom continued.

Now that I had someone to protect, I became more cautious. I made sure shots missed me and, if they were to hit Lillith, I blocked them as best I could. Once we reached my exit, the actual base's entrance, we were both bloodied.

We couldn't outrun machines, but there could be a distraction. I ran to the nearest Terminator and cut its chest open and jumped back. Lillith took the hint and shot at the nuclear batteries. Then there was a giant explosion that blew us away. Very literally in fact.

Luckily we both recovered and were able to run away quickly. Well, Lillith was able to limp away at a good pace. Point was, we were both safe.



After hours of running we found a cave. I helped Lillith lie down and work on her leg. My ears, a little more sensitive than a human's, were at work to pick out any Terminator that might have managed to follow us. As I finished patching up Lillith, they hadn't heard anything.

And Lillith's leg? Almost as lovely as I remembered it. Though it looked like it had taken more of a beating than when I had last seen it.

"It'll be a few days until we can be back to the base in Los Angeles." I told her and leaned against one of the cave walls. I expected an agreement as, when I had left her, she had been very compliant. Oh, so very compliant.

Instead, the silence was uncomfortable and I realized something was wrong. I looked into Lillith's eyes and saw a pain, hate, and loss that hadn't been there before. It was as if I was seeing myself more twisted than I already was.

"I'm not joining the Resistance, Jash." Lillith replied. "I don't care if the world burns and all that's left is metal and ashes. I just don't give a fuck."

"But isn't there a human you care about?" I asked.

Lillith leaned forward and looked up at me. I realized that she had grown but in all the wrong ways. The majority of scars were self inflicted. In her eyes was a fire that was burning dark. All this I noticed as she said, "Not you."

Then she leaned back but still held my gaze.

"Why?" I asked before realizing it was a stupid question with a damning answer.

"The hospital." Lillith replied. "You know how damning that was to me? You wanted me to kill a woman and her family. How could you?"

The memories flooded my mind and I couldn't wash them away. I wanted to answer her with something funny to relieve the tension. But, for once, I had nothing I could tell her. Nothing that I could believe without denying the truth.

* * *



Days passed and we stayed in the cave. I know that Lillith was staying so her leg could heal. Why was I staying? I looked to the sleeping form of Lillith. She was the reason to stay here. She was the reason to stay here in the cave trying to get her to join the Resistance.

Why was I in the Resistance? John Connor was the reason. But now he was gone, for the second time, and I couldn't impart those emotions on Lillith. No matter how hard I tried. And I had tried for a few days.

Once we were eating breakfast I decided to try a different tactic. Something I hadn't said in a long time. Something that should've been said to Lillith long ago.

"I'm sorry." I said and Lillith just looked at me. For the moment, the crazed look in her eyes was gone. "I'm so sorry for what I did. I betrayed myself, I betrayed John, and I betrayed you."

"You said we were going to be together forever." Lillith said, as if in a daze. Well, we had been. Lillith and I had been married at the end of the first war. But we weren't a couple now. Maybe we would never be.

"Yeah, that's how it was supposed to turn out." I replied. "The thing I am most ashamed of is how my actions twisted and turned you."

I thought I had said something bad when Lillith remained silent. But, when I thought all was lost, she nodded. Though I admit there was a bit of surprise in her nod.

"You know it wasn't entirely your fault." Lillith said and I just looked at her. "The hospital was, but what happened to me wasn't. I could've made different choices but I didn't. And now I can't change back."

"Once you choose one way of life you can't ever go back." I replied.

"And did you ever go back?"

"I've made myself look stable but I'm not. I can't go back from that night."

We continued to talk until that night when we built a fire and just sat near each other. I felt so connected to her and my eyes drifted over and through her. On the outside I saw her damaged body radiating a different type of beauty. It wasn't pure or clean but one of strength.

Inside I imagined myself. Well the reverse of myself. I was a damaged soul in a perfect body while Lillith was a damaged soul in a damaged body. So not quite the reverse of myself.

I realized something then: I loved her still. Truly loved her.

* * *



I was dreaming of something pleasant. John Connor was there and we were making love. We had won the war against Skynet and nothing was wrong now. Marty was still human, I had never killed Jesse Flores, and Sarah Connor was still alive.

Cameron and Sarah Connor were together with none of the complications. None of Sarah hating Terminators.

But the only thing that mattered now was John's lips on mine. I closed my eyes and opened to see that Lillith was kissing me. What the fuck? I pushed her off quickly and tried to remember where I was.

"Sorry." Lillith said.

"It's okay." I replied as I started to recall where and who I was. "It's not that I don't like you, it's just that there's a lot of things coming up now."

"Like what?" She asked and a tear went down her cheek.

"There's a guy. Marty. Well, his real name is Martin Bedell. He killed John Connor but I...have feelings for him."

"What type of feelings?"

"I'd use love but there shouldn't be anything there. He killed a crazed John."

"But John Connor nonetheless."

"Yeah," I replied. "That."

"But that isn't all, is it?" Lillith asked.

I shook my head. "I'm having his twins. Well, making twins with some of his DNA. It's complicated."

"It always is with you." Lillith said and held my hands. "But the question now is: would you be cheating on him if I had sex with you now?"

I thought for a second. But it was hard to think with Lillith by me. Did Marty matter now? No, I wasn't his woman and he wasn't my man. I was with no one. I was alone and could go into any port I wished.

But with Lillith?

As I started with a kiss I had it confirmed that I loved her. As I took off her clothes I realized that some loves could span timelines. And as I made love with her, I knew I couldn't erase her with any amount of lovers.

* * *



I felt a light kiss on my forehead and I woke up to Lillith's gaze. I smiled at her and she smiled back. Last night had been an adventure in more ways than one.

"You sore?" She asked.

"I heal myself too quickly." I replied. "And you're a little out of shape yourself."

"Oh, you have no idea." With that she got dressed and I followed suit. "Maybe next time I'll be a little rougher. I'll make you bleed."

"Yeah," I replied as I realized her blood lust might need to be controlled. "I believe I could take that."

"The hero of the Resistance can take anything, can she?"

As I finished dressing I replied, "A hero of the Resistance can take anything."

"Yeah, I forgot." Lillith replied and I nodded.

"John." We both said at the same time.

I kissed Lillith gently on the lips and asked, "To the Resistance?"

"Why not?" She asked when I finally let her go.

It took a few hours and we connected more. Sex can only connect people so far, but conversations can break even more ground. We laughed and joked around. For those precious few hours I imagined that things were like before. But that I had never gone down a dark road as I had in reality.

As we neared the entrance to the Resistance Camp I saw Tyler. The Tyler who had a thing of looking and not looking at me. Luckily he hadn't tried to do anything and I wasn't that interested. Turning to Lillith I smiled. I didn't have to worry about looking anymore.

What about Marty? What about John? One I shouldn't love and the other was dead.

"Jash Connor?" Tyler asked with a straight face and looked at Lillith. "Who is that with you?"

"Her name?" I asked and smirked. He nodded. "Her name is Lillith."

"Are you sure she's not with Skynet?" He asked.

I took one of Lillith's hands in mine and replied. "I've known her before this war and she's agreed to join the Resistance."

"Who is she to you?"

"Her lover." Lillith replied and he let us go by.

"Marty. We have to see him first." I said.

"Why?" Lillith asked with a smile.

"We need to alert him about you. And then, the ceiling is the limit." I said and we walked towards Marty.

X

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this little mini-series. If you're wondering where this falls in with The Eternal Heart timeline: it doesn't. This is based more off the roleplay and the timelines don't meet.