Animorphs Re-Read: #3 The Encounter (Chapters 13-16)

Chapter 13

Tobias says that talking to Rachel helped a little bit and he had been able to sleep in Jake's attic afterwards.

Tobias waits for the others to get done with school and realizes being trapped as a hawk isn't all bad. Of course he brings up no homework. What teen wouldn't bring that up? And instead of homework he can fly! That is a very good trade off.

Tobias goes to ride the thermals by the beach. Flying around the cliffs. He spots some prey but he ignores it since he's human. Human even though he's in the body of a hawk.

Turns out Jake had called a meeting at his house since his brother Tom, a human Controller, would be off at a meeting of The Sharing. Tobias quickly reminds the readers that The Sharing is a front for the Yeerks. They use it to get new human hosts while pretending it's like the boy scouts. Except The Sharing is probably more supportive of the LGBTQ+ community.

Tobias says he checks time nowadays by doing things like checking people's watches from the air. He also says that it's strange what you miss when you're not human anymore. Like showers, really sleeping, and knowing the time.

I like how in the beginning of the chapter it shows the full scope of what Tobias is going through. How he says why he likes being trapped in the body of a hawk and yet misses being human.

Once it get into the afternoon Tobias goes over to the school and watches the others come out. He remarks that it was Marco's idea for them all to leave separately. Marco is constantly shown to be the joker/asshole that is actually very smart. Makes the character a little complex, in my opinion.

Tobias remarks about the different distances the Animorphs live from their school. He also uses the comment to bring up the fact that flying makes travel a lot quicker. And that's one of the perks about being stuck in morph.

Tobias concentrates on the other Animorphs to take his mind off of how his hawk mind focuses on the prey that's all around. This shows that he's in denial about himself. Almost like someone dealing with their sexuality and how admitting to yourself that you aren't straight can be painful as hell. Especially in certain environments. I didn't say so before, but in the last chapter when Rachel was talking about how a person isn't what they are on the outside...almost seemed like the little speech could be applied to transgendered people.

I know it was her trying to comfort Tobias by saying he's a human, but still...

Tobias sees Tom leave the house and uses the time to talk about both attempting to rescue Jake's brother and getting trapped in morph.

A little bit later Tobias watches as the others start heading over to Jake's house for the meeting. He says that Rachel is the easiest to spot and she's practicing gymnastics as she's walking over to her cousin's house.

When everyone is gathered in Jake's house, Tobias flies in and he says he doesn't want to look like he was hanging around with nothing to do. As I pointed out before, Tobias' submissive side hasn't gone away but has been changed. The only one he seems to even be honest with, at least concerning his own personal problems, is Rachel. To everyone else he wants to pretend like he's perfectly okay with his situation.

Marco says that they have been waiting for Tobias for hours while they've only been waiting for two minutes. Tobias doesn't bother replying with the truth, but tells Marco that he's a busy bird.

Cassie says they need to make this meeting quick as everyone in the group, except Tobias, has to do a paper for a teacher. She also says she promised to help her dad with releasing a great horned owl. Marco jokes with Tobias about the owl being a friend of his.

The others think Marco shouldn't say that since it's a little bit cruel. Tobias doesn't mind as it makes him feel normal since Marco jokes with everyone. I am seeing a connection between why I like Tobias' feelings towards Marco and why I ship Bruce Banner/Tony Star (aka Science Bros or Science Husbands) in The Avengers. Bruce/Tobias is only treated like a regular human being by Tony/Marco. At least that's the case in this book, I'll be following this connection throughout the rest of my re-read.

Tobias replies that red-tailed hawks and owls hang out at different points in the day. He fanboys about owls and talks about how awesome they are. Jake says that they should hurry up as Cassie has to get back home. Rachel says that she also has to go soon as her gymnastics class is putting on an exhibition in the mall. Marco says he'll be there and Rachel says that he's not going. Nor is any other Animorph going.

While Rachel is the fiercest fighter, she doesn't like putting on a show in front of people.

Jake tires to have the group focus by repeating what they had learned about the Yeerk ship. He asks the others how they are going to use the information. Rachel, of course, says they should find a way to destroy the ship. Marco doesn't like the idea and asks if they can go back to talking about birds. Rachel pays no mind to the boy and points out if they destroy the Yeerk ship that the Yeerks will run out of air and water.

Cassie points out the downside of the Yeerks having more ships like the one they saw in the mountains. Marco starts to bring up a plan that would only need the Yeerk ship that they saw. He stops once he realizes he'd be involved in enacting the plan. With a little nudge from Jake, Marco says that they could go into the ship and turn its cloaking device off as it flies over the city.

The group is silent as they imagine that happening. About people seeing their first glimpse at a craft from another world. The group speaks up saying that everyone would notice and there could be no coverup. Jake says that they could finally give the information to the authorities and not have to fight. Rachel says they could tell the authorities about the Sharing and turn in Chapman.

Marco, being the sad voice of reason, brings up the point that Visser Three won't sit back. They've seen how violent he can get and there isn't one safe person from his rage. Jake is, of course, disappointed at the reality check.

Tobias counters Marco by saying that the Yeerks don't have enough power to fight Earth openly. When Marco asks why, Tobias replies that strong people fight openly, weak people don't. This seems to reflect Tobias being bullied when he was a human. He knows how bullies fight and now he's applying that logic to the Yeerks.

Marco just agrees with Tobias instead of making a snarky comeback.

Rachel says this could be their big chance to reveal the Yeerks to other people. Marco timidly asks how they plan to get into the Yeerk ship. Jake says they'll do so by morphing into fish and Marco is far from happy about the idea.


Chapter 14

Rachel and Cassie start to leave. Cassie wishing her friend good luck and Marco saying he'll be there soon.  Rachel, of course, glaring at him for his comment. Once Rachel is gone he winks at Jake and Tobias as he says that she really likes him. Uh, no, you don't mess with bird-boy's girlfriend. He can either claw your eyes out or spend all day shitting on you. He has the time to do the latter.

Jake doesn't buy into what Marco says and tells Tobias that they can't do the mission until the weekend. Tobias asks why and Jake replies that it's all about timing. It takes awhile just to get to the place and they'll probably have to camp out by the area.

Marco remarks that he wants to stay away from the other wolf pack they ran into before. Tobias shares your sentiments as pulling off that move twice is suicidal.

Tobias suggests going on a Saturday. Jake then starts to ask if Tobias can get information on the area. Tobias interrupts to finish what Jake was saying. He then makes a joke, at his own expense, about having a lot of time. Both Marco and Jake laugh. Marco is probably surprised that Tobias can make a joke about being stuck in morph while Jake appears to wonder if Tobias is okay.

This is in character for both of them. Marco is more free with his jokes while Jake is the leader and wants to make sure all of the Animorphs are doing okay.

Tobias privately thought-speaks to Jake to reassure him that he is fine. Just a little spooked by them almost being stuck as half-wolves half-human creatures. Tobias can tell, by Jake's reaction, that he was very much spooked by the incident too.

Marco asks what they should do now as he's going between the options of going to Rachel's gymnastics's exhibition or playing DOOM. I am not a big gamer, but DOOM is a childhood classic for me. The graphics alone make me all happy inside.

Jake warns Marco not to go to the mall and watch Rachel as his cousin would kill him via elephant morph. Marco jokes that before they were Animorphs all he had to worry about was getting called bad names by a girl. Now Marco is a decent character, but he doesn't seem to always have a good grasp on what is good manners/polite. I'm pretty sure you could run into girls that could beat you senseless if they didn't like you, or get someone else to do the job for them (be it another girl or guy).

Tobias decides to fly off as he can't play video games. He has great eyesight and reaction time, but he can't play video games. I so need to write a short fic where he is a video game master. Maybe also drunk but...I might want to make those into two separate fics.

Tobias flies over Chapman's house and recounts what they found out about him in the last book. That he gave up his freedom to keep his daughter safe. Total badass.

As Tobias thinks about Melissa, his mind drifts to all the places he can't go. He then sort of snaps out of it when he realizes he can go to any amusement park at any time. He couldn't ride any of the rides, but the thought of just flying in makes him happy. He also brings up a few other places as well.

I like this little sequence of thoughts as it shows Tobias trying to stay positive. That he can get very down about his situation, but it's not like he wants to feel depressed. He looks at the positives of a situation even if those positives sound insane to any rational person.

Tobias then heads towards the mountains as he has to scope out the area. He continues to think that his new life isn't so bad since he can fly. He imagines a kid looking up at him and wishing that they could fly too. I admit I've always wanted to turn into a bird and fly away. I'm jealous of Tobias in that regard, if you want to call any of my feelings towards him jealousy.

Tobias remarks that he's feeling hungry and should've asked Jake for something eat before he left. I see no problems arising because of this.

Before Tobias even knows what's going on, his hawk mind sees a rat and he dives towards it. His hawk mind completely takes over and he kills it. Tobias enjoys killing the rat but then his human side takes control before he fully consumes the rat.

To say the scene is intense is an understatement. You really feel Tobias' conflict between his hawk and human mind here.

The chapter ends with Tobias being so disgusted with himself that he tries to run away...like a human. But, he remembers, he doesn't have feet anymore and instead he has talons. Talons to kill rats with.

Tobias tries to say he didn't want to kill the rat, but part of him says that he did.

Excuse me as I cry for the next few years.


Chapter 15

Tobias tries to fly away from the memory of killing and eating the rat. He hates the hawk part of himself and wants to get away. But he knows you can't run away from a memory. Poor baby!

He tries to remind himself that he's Tobias and he's human. The sort of mantra that Rachel told him earlier.

Tobias wants to go to Rachel and he doesn't know why. He thinks it's because he wants someone to be sure of who he is. Tobias says that he considers Rachel a friend. I ship the two of them and this is early on in their relationship so him not considering her his girlfriend is normal.(

Tobias figures that Rachel will be at the mall and so heads there. He decides to dive down towards the doors of the mall. He describes diving towards the door as "like I'd shot toward the rat". No surprise, especially from that phrasing, he talks about this being his way to commit suicide. That if he smashes into the door he'll wake up from his new reality.

I have considered suicide before, it's the reason I was diagnosed with clinical depression, and so any mention of suicide gets to me. Suicide being used well in fiction really hits home with me.

Tobias doesn't waver in his suicide attempt, but then someone opens the first door for him. The second door is open also. He doesn't get to awaken himself. I think awakening, for him, would be either death or just waking up in bed. In either case he doesn't have to worry about the Yeerks or being trapped in a body of a red-tailed hawk.

Tobias is inside the mall and it seems, by his descriptions, that he is a little confused. He's going super fast inside the mall and he hears people screaming at him.

He wants to hit something so that he can wake up. My god! This is a book for children and this chapter is nothing but a suicide attempt so far!

He also repeats his mantra of him being human.

As Tobias goes through the mall he knows this is a place he belonged to as a human. This is where he still wants to belong.

Finally he reaches the middle of the mall and sees Rachel. He shoots past her as she screams his name. He realizes he is going fast enough so slam into the place a new shop is going to be. Rachel realizes his plan and yells no!

Tobias, at the last second, diverts himself from smashing into the wall and goes towards the glass ceiling. He smashes and falls down where Rachel catches him. Not to say symbolism but Rachel is Tobias' support, especially in this book. She's the one that he turns to. And now she's catching him and I'm not supposed to yell symbolism?

Rachel tells him that he needs to get out of the mall. As malls aren't places red-tailed hawks usually go. Tobias cries that he's lost since he killed. He thinks that since he killed once that he will never be human again. That he's lost.

Rachel says that he isn't lost since he still has the rest of the Animorphs. He still has friends he can count on. Her reply is so heartwarming and tear jerking that I'll post it here:

"No. As long as you have me and the others, you aren’t lost, Tobias."

People then start to try to get Tobias away from Rachel. To onlookers it seemed as though Tobias was a crazed bird that wasn't a boy trapped in hawk form. At one point someone throws a shopping bag at him.

Tobias looks at the skylight and realizes that the human part of him is dead. The hawk part of him wants to fly to the sky and Tobias allows that part of him to take over. Since, to him, the human part called Tobias is already dead.

The hawk part of him doesn't know that the glass will stop and kill them, but the human named Tobias isn't there to correct him. And the small part of the human named Tobias, that remained, wanted to crash into the skylight and die.

Luckily Marco is there and breaks the skylight before Tobias can kill himself by crashing into the glass. Tobias then flies through the skylight and abandons his own mind.

Oh my god, this chapter is just a giant suicide attempt. And, some might argue, the suicide attempt did succeed. Just not in the way Tobias wanted.


Chapter 16

The chapter opens with Tobias saying that the next few days were a haze for him. He lived life like a hawk which meant he didn't communicate with his fellow Animorphs. I knew this part of the book was coming up but it's still hard to re-read it.

Tobias makes his territory in the meadow he made his first kill in. You might say it's because that's where the hawk is used to because of that one event, but it's like Tobias is feeling nostalgic. In other words: he chose the spot because it's the last place he was ever truly human. At least to his mind at the moment.

Tobias spends his days hunting for the most part. He considers days easier than nights since during the day he could keep busy. At night-Holy fucking god! So far in this chapter it's been the hawk part of Tobias' mind narrating!

Calming down...Hawk Tobias doesn't like the night because that's when Human Tobias will invade his mind. Human Tobias will show pictures of life as a human. Hawk Tobias says that Human Tobias is very lonely but wants to escape into the persona of Hawk Tobias and forget that Human Tobias is human. But every night Human Tobias will still rise up.

Hawk Tobias remembers the female red-tailed hawk and decides to fly to her territory by the mountain lake.

Hawk Tobias watches as the female hawk tries to hunt a small raccoon but then doesn't since its mother comes to protect it. Hawk Tobias watches as the female hawk then perches on a branch. He is nervous as female hawks are usually larger than males.

Is it just me or is Hawk Tobias reacting like a nervous human on a date? Like he's nervous on asking the female hawk to the prom or something.

Hawk Tobias and the female watch a hunt. He remarks that it's interesting watching a hunt even by another species. He says it heightens his own ability to hunt. I must warn you that this part gets a little creepy.

The prey runs on two legs and falls down. It has trouble breathing and Hawk Tobias remarks that prey often squeals. Holy fuck, Hawk Tobias! That's a human being that's being hunted!

When Hawk Tobias sees the Hork-Bajir chasing the human he remembers Marco and suddenly realizes that the prey is a human. The transition Hawk Tobias makes to Tobias is done very well.

Tobias wants to help the human but the hawk part of his mind doesn't understand why. The human is prey and prey is hunted by predators. That's the way of the hawk's world.

Suddenly Tobias snaps back and repeats the fact that a human is being hunted by a Hork-Bajir. He decides to help the human. He says that before he was thinking a hawk going after a raccoon was insane and now he is going after something much more dangerous.

Tobias goes for the eyes as they are a weak spot for the species. He manages to get the Hork-Bajir's eyes but it isn't said if the human survives or not.

Everything of Tobias' life comes back to him. He recalls the other Animorphs, Yeerks, and Andalites. He sees that the female hawk is like him and this strange human is not. The strange human is not an Animorph and yet the broken boy can't help but rescue him.

Yes! Tobias is back! Yes!

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Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents


 

Inbetween: The Incredible Burp 3

We were all gathered in Cassie's barn. Tobias was in his look out spot where he could still listen in on the meeting. Ax was in his Andalite form but was prepared to morph human if the need arose. Everyone else was a human and so could be where they wanted to be. I was human but would have to hide if someone came around.

We all turned to Jake as he was the leader. From what I could gather from the others, him being the leader was because no one else wanted the position. I could be paraphrasing, but that's what I got.

"You acquired the raven and then morphed it when you didn't mean to?" Jake asked.

"Yes." I replied. "Ax said something like Hereth ilient?"

Hereth illint. Ax corrected.

"Isn't that what I had awhile back?" Rachel asked and I turned to her.

There was a lot I didn't know about the group. A lot I probably wouldn't know for a long time since I knew I was regarded with suspicion by most. I was the ticking time bomb that might go off any second and possibly succeed where David had failed.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's where you have an allergic reaction to an animal's DNA." Rachel explained. "Until you burp out the DNA you start morphing uncontrollably."

"Yeah, Rachel did some damage to her house when she was-" Marco began but was silenced by the glare Rachel was giving him. I was saddened as it sounded like a funny story.

"When I had Hereth illint I morphed an elephant while I was home." Rachel explained, though I don't think that was the entire story.

"So I'll just start morphing at random?" I asked. Maybe because I got this illness I would be a danger to the group. Maybe being near them now wouldn't be a good thing.

You have to feel a strong emotion. Ax explained.

"My anger today." I said, not liking to talk about what had happened earlier. "After I got really angry I morphed into the raven."

"So it's like you're the Hulk but you turn into something non-threatening?" Marco joked and a smile started to form on my face.

"Hey, ravens can be dangerous." I fired back.

"Cassie?" He asked.

Instead of Cassie answering, Rachel interrupted by saying, "I'm more worried about you morphing into your battle morph."

"I can control the hyena." I told her and tried not feel anything for what I perceived as an insult.

I didn't like that the group was suspicious of me and hated them for that at times. But I really did care about them. I didn't want to hurt them and being emotionless wasn't my thing. I felt hatred for the Yeerks, isolation from everyone, and a lot of other emotions on top of that.

I wasn't safe for my fellow Animorphs right now.

"But if you let your guard down when you randomly morph then there might be consequences."

"Are you saying I'm a danger? That I can't control myself?" I tried to keep calm. "I didn't exactly fly away when I morphed a raven earlier."

Hereth illint can last a week. Ax replied. You might grow used to it.

"She won't grow used to it and lose control." Cassie said as she came to my defense. "Rachel didn't suddenly lose control of a morph."

"I was an Animorph a lot longer than her when I got Hereth illint." Rachel replied.

"And she was a Controller before she was an Animorph. There's a lot of strength in holding on as much as she did."

Rachel didn't argue with Cassie and just tried to avoid her friend's eyes. I admired Rachel for a lot of things, her strength among them. I didn't think I would ever reach the level she was at, but I was not weak.

After a few moments Rachel turned to me and said, "Cassie's right, you'll be fine. It'll be a little disturbing over the next few days, but at least you're just burping out a raven. I had to burp out a crocodile."

I found Rachel's attempt at comforting me nice, but I could tell she still thought she was superior. I would deal with that and I knew she would deal with her distrust of me the same way.

I didn't buy into Rachel's comfort, though, since I knew I could be a danger to the group. If there was even a minor mistake I could sentence the Animorphs to death. Or something far worse than that.
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Inbetween tumblr
All of Inbetween: The Incredible Burp

Supernatural "Slumber Party" Review

I talk about this take on The Wizard of Oz.

Animorphs Re-Read: #3 The Encounter (Chapters 9-12)

Chapter 9

Tobias tells the others to stay calm and look up. They are, of course, freaked out by the large Yeerk ship overhead. Rachel and Cassie both say that the thing is huge. I wish I could think of a good dick joke to use. But none are coming to mind and that's probably a good thing.

Tobias takes time just letting the reader know how big this Yeerk ship is. He is able to look into the bridge and see Taxxons piloting it. I like the description of how big the ship is and how there is a paragraph of two going over the size. It makes you very aware of the size and that it is very impressive.

Then two Bug fighters come out of the ship. Tobias alerts the others to the Bug fighters and Marco points out that they're insignificant compared to the gigantic Yeerk ship. Tobias says the Bug fighters might be scouting the area and Jake says to not look like trouble.

Tobias tries to act like a normal, harmless hawk. A normal hawk who isn't really a teenaged boy inside a bird's body. The Bug fighters shoot right past Tobias and he sees that the normal crew is inside.

Tobias talks about how the Taxxons are the second most common type of Controllers. He talks about how all Taxxons are voluntary hosts and so are as vile as their appearance. Again, Elfangor didn't have time to tell the Animorphs about Arbron. I recently wrote a tumblr post about how Taxxon cannibalism and self-cannibalism is so common that I forgot about it when thinking of cannibalism in the Animorphs series.

The Bug fighters don't show any interest in bird-boy. The Yeerk ship is starting to go down to the surface of the lake.

Tobias asks to make sure that the others are seeing what he is. Marco replies sarcastically, commenting that the Yeerk ship is so big that no one could miss it. Rachel thinks the ship is incredible while Marco takes a more realistic approach. He sees the ship and thinks that them fighting the Yeerks is even more of a useless gesture.

Marco keeps making the ship larger in his mind. I'm only mentioning this since the second state he compares the Yeerk ship to is Florida. That is my home state!

Tobias notices that the group is paying too much attention to the ship so he reminds them to act wolf-like. Marco's response is to tell Jake to pee some more.

From the Yeerk ship three pipes come down and start sucking water from the lake. Cassie remarks that the pipes are acting like straws.

Marco laughs as he realizes one of Yeerk's big weaknesses. Rachel says that she doesn't look at a ship like that and think the Yeerks have a big weakness. But Tobias gets what Marco meant. Marco clarifies that the ship has sucked in some of Earth's air and is now getting water. Cassie gets it and cries out that the Yeerk ship is nothing more than a truck.

I like that Applegate put this into this series. A series aimed at Young Adults. A group of people that lots of people/authors like to talk down to. Like somehow teenagers won't be able to handle certain things. In all honesty, you only really see how dark the series is when you're an adult. The thing Applegate added was the Yeerks acting realistically. Showing that these powerful enemies aren't all powerful. That they have to live off the worlds they invade and that they can't live in a vacuum.

Time is running out for the Animorphs that still have to worry about the two hour limit. So they decide to start to head back home. Tobias, though, doesn't have to worry about a time limit and so stays by the lake. He watches the Yeerks do their thing and then an important plot point catches his eyes.

He sees the hawk that he and Rachel rescued in the beginning of the book. He doesn't think about going towards her, but he does so anyways. The female red-tailed hawk seems to be okay with Tobias coming towards her. He doesn't know why as hawks don't know about friends and she might not even connect him with her freedom.

Then Tobias is frightened of the female hawk.

Remember how I said that I remembered this book as Tobias learning to live with the hawk part of himself? His feelings he has for the female red-tailed hawk are a big reminder that he isn't human. That some part of himself isn't human. It's a reason why I don't mind him freeing the hawk in the beginning as she becomes a big ass plot point.

Tobias starts to think on why he's afraid of the female hawk. About it not being the hawk herself but the feeling that going towards her is going home. He turns away from the hawk and reminds himself that he is human. He tells himself his name and who he is. But then part of himself tells him he's a hawk now and that Tobias is dead.

Tobias, let me hug you! You need a hug now!

As he dives down he notices a problem for his fellow Animorphs.


Chapter 10

The Animorphs, except Tobias, have run into another wolf pack. Between the two packs is a dead rabbit. Tobias knows that Jake has human intelligence on his side but the other wolf has more fighting experience. You know, being a wolf and all. Tobias feels like laughing since the situation is ridiculous. Bird-boy is thankful that this insane incident happened as it takes his mind off his feelings for the female red-tailed hawk.

Suddenly Tobias remembers the time limit. How the others may be stuck in morph if they take too long. Tobias then asks Jake what they are doing since they are on a time limit. Jake says to shut up since they're in a situation. Tobias says to just back away from the situation. Jake says he can't back off or he'll lose and Tobias thinks he's insane.

Cassie explains that if Jake backs away the other wolves may attack. Tobias looks over the situation and asks if this whole situation is because of the dead rabbit. No one answers him since they're all concerned over the possible fight that could happen.

Tobias then has an idea for a stupid, suicidal plan. I like that he mentions that both the hawk and human parts of his mind are in agreement that what he's about to do is stupid. Since it keeps up with the theme of Tobias not really being who he once was.

He screams out as he dives down towards the rabbit carcass. He gains a grip on the rabbit and this is appearing more along the lines of what Rachel would enjoy doing. One of the wolves tries to attack Tobias but he manages not to die.

Rachel cries out to Tobias. This is so a moment that I'm adding to my 'aw! how can people not ship them?' list.

Jake tells the others to run away from the fight while they still can. Tobias drops the rabbit carcass and is able to fly away to safety. One of the Animorphs asks if Tobias is okay and he replies that he only lost a few tail feathers. Tail feathers grow back.

Tobias catches up with the group and worries about time. One of the problems with morphing is that you can't tell how long you have been in morph. And wearing a watch would just look odd. If only gaining the ability to morph also allowed you to have an Andalite's ability to know the time. That would be very useful. But, of course, Escafil wasn't thinking of other races using his device. Or else he might've done something about the clothing problem too!

Tobias decides to get a time reading for the group. And he sees that time is extremely low for the Animorphs. Oh god, I'm going to have nightmare fuel in the next chapter, aren't I?


Chapter 11

All at once Tobias isn't tired anymore. From bird-boy's comments it seems like he looked at a clock. To make some really bad news, it appears the Animorphs have run out of time. Now we all know they haven't run out of time, but they are cutting it extremely close.

He yells out multiple times to morph back now. This instant, no questions asked. He is extremely frightened and I don't blame him. He knows what going over the time limit means and the downsides that occur because of it. He doesn't want that to happen to his friends.

Tobias catches up with the group and Marco asks how much time they have left. He replies none. The other Animorphs, probably thinking of bird-boy, and the others start to demorph. Cassie is the quickest and is half-way done by the time changes start appearing on the others.

Tobias continues to urge the others on. Jake asks how much time they have left and Tobias says two minutes. By the fact that Cassie can demorph, and has been in wolf morph the longest, Tobias should figure out that the clock he saw was off. He should still be worried, no denying that, but he should be smart enough to know that the clock was off by a little bit.

And here is where the nightmare fuel is...

The other Animorphs aren't as lucky as Cassie is. The morphs are happening wrong for the others. Rachel's hands appear from her wolf's hind legs and Marco's head is appearing. In both Animorphs' cases, nothing else is changed. Marco yells out a half-human, half-wolf sound. This is worse than Tobias feared. He figured they would be trapped as wolves like he had been trapped as red-tailed hawk. But they weren't wolves and they weren't humans. They were a sick combination of the two.

Excuse me as I vomit up my small dinner.

I don't care if I used this one before in this post. It's the only one that truly expresses my emotions at the moment.

Cassie, having fully demorphed, goes to each of her fellow Animorphs and tries to help them through the demorphing process. She tells Rachel to concentrate on her human self and to fight the fear.

Marco looks at Tobias as his way to concentrate. Tobias stays still as Marco looks at bird-boy with hate or fear. Maybe both and maybe neither. Tobias is fine with being used as a way to save Marco as being stuck as an abomination. However, he starts to think of how the others must view him. A freak of nature that should never have been. Some pitiable creature.

You poor thing! Let me love you!

Marco, concentrating on Tobias, is able to concentrate enough and demorph. Cassie holds one of Jake's hands between hers and urges him to come back to her. Did I ever mention how damn hard I ship those two? Did I ever mention it? I love Tobias and Rachel, but Cassie and Jake are just so lovely. And this little moment is making my little shipper heart so damn happy!

Rachel finishes demorphing and he sees that the rest are fully human again. He is happy that they're human again. Then the Animorphs start saying how great it is that they're human. That they weren't trapped in mid-morph. They talk a little about what it was like nearly being trapped.

Then suddenly Tobias remembers he will never be human again. He will never again experience the joys of being human. He is forever trapped in the body of a hawk. He looks at his talons that will never be feet and he'll never have hands to touch anyone with. When he says he won't be able to touch anyone again I'm thinking he's talking about Rachel.

I'm not crying! There's just...something in my eye.

The pain and agony of his situation gets to him and he flies away, he even forgets that he's tired. Rachel cries after him but he doesn't listen. He has to get away. Now. He flies away and he mentions that he imagines hearing himself screaming.

The pain of this scene! I need a hug, coffee, and chocolate right now!


Chapter 12

It was very late by the time that Tobias returned to Jake's attic. Tobias explains the layout of his new room. His bed is a drawer with blankets in it. Tobias says that Jake is a nice guy and used to protect bird-boy when he had been human. It's scary that Tobias' mind is deteriorating so quickly. From his statements it doesn't appear that he's hasn't been trapped in hawk morph for even a month.

Holy fuck!

Jake leaves Tobias food. Potatoes, vegetables, and meat. Tobias is in a hawk's body and so can only eat the meat. He hasn't told Jake that because...no reason. I think it might be because Tobias doesn't want to upset Jake, but there's nothing solid here.

Tobias doesn't feel right eating the meat. This is because his red-tailed hawk mind wants a fresh kill. This part reminds me a little of a Taxxon's hunger. How even a Yeerk has trouble resisting it.

Tobias goes into the drawer but the hawk part of him doesn't like it. Hawks make nests, they don't sleep in something that a human would consider comfortable. Tobias wants to be comforted like a human, but that's impossible for him now. In this moment.

He finds himself too restless and decides he needs to fly. Flying at night for red-tailed hawks isn't something that's normally done. It's not something Tobias' hawk body is built for. A red-tailed hawk isn't nocturnal. But Tobias doesn't care. He needs to get out. He needs to fly.

He flies aimlessly but he knows, deep down inside, where he's going. I'll give you four guesses where he's going and the first three don't count.

Tobias lands on the bird house by Rachel's window. He knocks on her window to get her attention. She opens the window and says that she's glad he's there. She was worried about him. Tobias asks why.

Rachel says that the group was very insensitive to Tobias that afternoon. Tobias replies that he understands why the others were so happy and he doesn't hold a grudge against them because of it. I think his reply is very telling of his character. When he was human he was beat up so he has a very submissive side to him. Even though he's now fighting the Yeerks here on Earth, that side of him hasn't gone. It's just changed.

He doesn't want to cause trouble. So he's waving off what happened earlier.

Rachel tells him to come in and he does so. When he comes inside he looks at himself in the mirror. He looks at his HAWK body in detail. His description almost seems like he's telling himself it's a curse that he's trapped in morph.

He finally looks away from his reflection and tells Rachel he doesn't know what's happening to him. Rachel says she doesn't understand. I think she does know what's going on but she doesn't want to admit it. She wants to think Tobias is strong enough to resist the hawk part of himself. That everything will be back to normal in no time.

Tobias wants to smile to make her feel better. But his hawk beak won't allow that.

Tobias says that he thinks he's losing himself and Rachel continues to pretend not to know what he means.

Tobias explains that he felt like he belonged with the female red-tailed hawk that they freed. He wanted to go after her. Rachel says that he belongs with the Animorphs and that he is human. Tobias asks how she can be so sure. Rachel says that a person isn't their body, a person is what's inside. Their heart and mind. And I think I'm close to tearing up!

Tobias counters her point by saying he can't even remember what he looked like. Rachel seems like she is going to cry, but she doesn't. Tobias says that's probably the reason why he came to her. He needed someone to be strong so he could borrow their strength.

Rachel goes to her dresser and shows him a picture of himself when he was human. Tobias remarks that he didn't know she had a picture of him. Yeah, Rachel, what are you doing with that picture? Wink! Wink!

She says the picture isn't that good and that he looks better in real life. Tobias repeats the words 'real life'. Rachel says that when the Andalites come back they'll find some way to fix Tobias. To make him human again. Tobias basically says he doesn't believe her. Rachel replies that she is sure.

Rachel tries to put on a brave face but Tobias can see she's holding back tears. He remarks, again, that hawk eyes don't miss much.
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 Animorphs Re-Read Table of Contents

Inbetween: The Incredible Burp 2

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Because I had to be in hiding all of the time and going to the mall wasn’t safe for me, I went between hanging out with Cassie and Ax. His full name was Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill and he was an Andalite. He was the brother to Prince Elfangor and was the lowest rank of the Andalite military. An Aristh. I liked him and that might have been due to my Yeerk hating his species.

Andalites had unleashed the Yeerks on the galaxy so I should blame them for my brief enslavement. But there was something about Ax that I couldn’t hate. Maybe it was innocence or that he was someone I had to spend so much time around because I couldn’t hang out with my usual friends.

Looking at Ax I saw grace in him that Visser Three lacked as he ran towards me. I waved at him and he said, Hi.

Not with his mouth, as Andalites lacked them, but through thought-speech. Tobias and I were the only ones who spent a great amount of time with Ax. All of us couldn’t hang out where humans usually did for obvious reasons.

Myself because I was wanted by the Yeerks, Ax because he was an Andalite, and Tobias because he’s trapped in morph. A notlith. However, due to circumstances that hadn’t been clearly described to me yet, Tobias had been granted his ability to morph. Both Ax and Tobias had human morphs, though. Tobias, besides regaining his ability to morph, had been able to reacquire his old human self. Ax had done something called a Frolis Maneuver to get his human morph.

That’s what I wanted to talk to him about today.

“Hi,” I said when Ax stood a few feet in front of me. I paused as I was nervous as he was kind of cute. At least for an Andalite. “So how’s the grass today?”

It’s normal. Ax replied with some confusion. He wasn’t dumb, no matter how odd he acted in human morph, but he didn’t fully understand the human species yet. Is that what you wanted to talk about today?

I didn’t like asking for something from a friend, especially a friend who probably half expected me to turn out like David. David was a kid that the Animorphs decided to take in after some events happened. Events that left David unable to live like he used to. Instead of sticking with the group he had turned against them. Even going so far as to kill a red-tailed hawk he thought was Tobias and killing a kid so he could live normally again.

I didn’t like that the group thought I would ever turn out like that monster.

“I was wondering about getting a human morph.” I explained. “You and Tobias can both interact with the others in places like the mall. I’m not going to spend a lot of them there, but it’d be nice to have that option opened to me.”

You want to know how to perform a Frolis Maneuver. Ax guessed. As I said, a smart guy.

“I get the gist of it.” I said honestly. “I just want to have someone to reassure me that I’m doing it correctly.”

And you’re nervous about asking me about this be-

“Because of Seerow’s Kindness, that you still probably have ingrained in your mind, plus the fact that I’m the new member of the group. With the last one being a traitor.”

I trust you.

“Yeah, I’m sure part of you believes that and the other half is telling you that you’re an idiot.” After my reply Ax shuffled his hooves. Andalites weren’t so different from us after all.

I see no harm with telling you how to do the Maneuver. Ax finally said.

“What if I became a chimera?” I asked and Ax looked at me, wondering what I was talking about. “Basically what if I combined a bunch of animals’ DNA into one super morph? Don’t you think that would be a dangerous thing for me to know how to do?”

The Frolis Maneuver doesn’t work like that. Ax explained. You can only combine DNA from the same species.

“That’s a disappointing.” I said. “We could really kick Yeerk butt if the Frolis Maneuver wasn’t so limited.”

Yes, Ax agreed. You humans could have a much better chance in battle.

“What?” I asked, pretending to be offended. “You think just because we don’t use battle morphs that have tail-blades that we’re weaker? What if I just acquired you?”

I reached quickly for Ax and he was startled. He was swift in backing up out of my reach and tensing his tail-blade to attack me.

Sorry. He said when he regained himself.

“It’s okay, I frightened you.” I replied, a little ashamed that I had taken a joke too far. “I would never acquire you, though. Not without your permission.”

You want a good battle morph to hurt the Yeerks? Ax said after a moment’s hesitation.

“Of course I want to hurt the Yeerks.” I replied. “Frankly, I want to kill them all. I want to see them all dead. I want to be the cause of their demise and have every last one suffer.”

Do you want to fight because you were infested? Ax asked.

“Yes.” I replied without any hesitation. “That’s exactly why. I saw what the Yeerks have done and will do. I’ve done…thing and betrayed friends all because the Yeerk inside my head made me do them. I don’t want another living being to go through what I did.”

I paused a moment as my anger gathered.

“None of the others knows what it’s like.” I continued. “Jake was infested for three days and all that happened with him was that his Yeerk tried to escape. He didn’t go through betraying his friends and his planet.”

“Not-“ I started to add, but something felt wrong. Something inside me seemed to be startled by the sudden anger. I felt myself starting to change.

I held out my hand and it started to turn black. I was morphing, but I wasn’t controlling it.

“What the-“ I said but then I couldn’t talk due to my vocal chords going away. A beak was forming.

I looked at Ax as my vision changed and I started to shrink. He looked shocked, but he was keeping it together. If something wrong was happening to me he’d know what to do. If there was one Animorph I’d want by me in this situation, it was him.

As the morph continued I tried to stay calm and make it stop. Morphing is one of the greatest things in the world, but I wasn’t planning on it right now. Something was going horribly wrong.

When the raven mind appeared I knew the morph was finished. My fear was enough to override anything the raven was feeling.

Is that a new morph? Ax asked.

Yes, I replied, unable to say anything else.

Hereth illint. Ax replied and the way he said it, it didn’t sound like good news.
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