Inbetween: The Darkening 3

I paused while eating the dinner Hannibal had prepared for Abigail and myself.

I didn't like going to normal functions, such as dinner, but with Hannibal it was different. Plus Abigail Hobbs was with us. It almost felt like we were a family. Hannibal and myself being the fathers and Abigail being the daughter. I had a feeling that she preferred Hannibal over me and who wouldn't? He was sure of himself and I was a mess. I felt bad that she didn't adore me, though, as I felt so connected to her.

I continued on with eating the meal that Hannibal had prepared for us.

"Jack doesn't have me doing anything this weekend." I said. "He doesn't have me doing a lot lately."

"He's trying to help with the grieving process, Will." Hannibal said, trying to comfort me.

"I am not grieving and letting me do my job will help me better than any therapy session."

"I don't think Jack understands you." Abigail said. "I don't think Jack trusts you."

"I don't blame him." I said with a pained grin on my face.

"You're being too hard on yourself." Hannibal replied.

I shook my head. "No, I'm not. If anything, I'm being too kind. I just lost Alana and I was already fading before then. If anything, Jack is the sane one."

Abigail put a hand on my shoulder and I felt a calmness come over me. Abigail was like the daughter I didn't have and was always able to calm me down. I'd always be worried about her, every time I thought of her, but she was able to do what adults couldn't. Adults are all tainted and those of the younger generation aren't. The younger generation could be scarred, and who wouldn't in the Hobbs family, but they were always more innocent.

Almost the same reason I preferred my dogs to people.

Abigail removed her hand and I turned to Hannibal.

"If you have anything planned for this weekend I'll be able to go." I finally said.

"How about fishing?" Hannibal asked. After he said that Abigail and him seemed to share an inside joke.

"I do have a new fishing lure I'd like to try out." I replied. "Do you have any places you'd recommend?"

"My father took me to some good spots." Abigail said and I swear a hint of a smile came onto her face.

"Would you want to go to any of them?"

"No." She said curtly with a touch of disappointment in herself. "I won't be able to stop thinking of him. How he killed those girls and...fed them to me."

"You did nothing wrong. He killed them, not you."

"Is there something wrong with killing?"

"Yes, everything. We have to do it sometimes, but it's never admirable."

"What about you killing Gideon to protect Alana?" Hannibal asked and waited calmly for my answer.

"I don't even know if I protected or killed her." I replied and didn't say what I wanted to say. That I'd kill Gideon for eternity if it meant that Alana would still be alive. Hannibal didn't need to know that part. Abigail didn't need to hear it. But it seemed that Hannibal's eyes already knew. Another of Hannibal's strange expressions left his face before I could properly discern its meaning.

"But if you did save her, would that be different?"

I sighed and then replied, "Yes, that would be different."

"What if the person was undeserving of their life? What if they wasted it by being cruel?"

"Are you a killer?" I said and laughed. The first real laugh I had let out in awhile. Even as I was laughing I seriously considered Hannibal's joke. If Gideon had been killed sooner then Alana would still be alive.

But what if I followed that train of thought and began to think of myself as a god? I would then think it was up to me to decide if someone was worthy of life. Alana's face filled my mind and it became hard for me to think of that part as a downside.

I was woken up from my thoughts by my cellphone.

I checked who was calling me as I was afraid of continuing the conversation. I was especially scared of what I would admit to them, but even more afraid of what I'd admit to myself.

"I'm sorry, I have to take this." I said, relieved that I had an excuse to get out. "It's Beverly."

As I walked out to answer the call, I saw Hannibal look at me. He appeared angry and I didn't blame him. Leaving a dinner with the excuse of a phone call was very rude.
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Mini-LP: Hitman: Absolution (Parts 13-15)

revrezner plays Hitman: Absolution.

Mini-LP: Hitman: Absolution (Parts 10-12)

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Mini-LP: Hitman: Absolution (Parts 7-9)

revrezner briefly plays Hitman: Absolution.

Mini-LP: Hitman: Absolution (Parts 4-6)

revrezner briefly plays Hitman: Absolution.

Mini-LP: Hitman: Absolution (Parts 1-3)

revrezner briefly plays Hitman: Absolution.

Inbetween: The Darkening 2

I was hardly concentrating on my surroundings. My thoughts kept going back to Alana Bloom being dead. The woman that had helped to hold me close to reality was gone. What would happen now? Would I be able to continue to help Jack or would I become less than useless? Would people die because of me?

"Will." Hannibal said and I came back to the present. His eyes were the same as his voice. Able to show so much while expressing so little. It was comforting to me.

"I'm able to do my job. There's no reason to be here." I replied curtly.

"There is every reason to be here." Hannibal said, not reacting to my momentary rudeness. "You were close to Alana."

I wanted to lash out at Hannibal for bringing that up. How dare he bring up Alana. He had no right to bring up a relationship that had been shot down as soon as it had started. I tried to control a perverse chuckle but Hannibal's confused look was enough to tell me it had escaped. Of course any look Hannibal had was controlled and sometimes hard to decipher.

"We weren't as close as you think." I finally said.

"How close did you feel you were?" He countered.

"Very close." I said and grimaced. There was no way to escape telling Hannibal the truth and no reason to hide what I felt.

"There is a reason you are here." The doctor waited a moment. Whether he was thinking of what to say or only testing my nerves, I couldn't tell.  "You felt close to Alana and now you have lost her."

A pained smile kept trying to escape onto my face. It tried a few times but always was forced to recede back into nothingness.

"Yes." I said, not wanting to go any further with my explanation. I knew I'd see her face when I slept. I'd always regret not having that chance to have coffee with her. I'd always regret not getting to kiss her more. I'd always regret not having her take me on my bed or anywhere else she'd want to.

"You killed Gideon, Will. Even when you didn't know reality, you were still able to protect Alana." Hannibal said and there was briefly a strange expression on his face. I couldn't begin to try and describe it. Nor could I tell if it was ever actually there.

I had killed. That was a fact. I hoped that I had only killed Gideon. That I wasn't the reason that Alana was dead.

If I had just killed Gideon that was an acceptable sin. I didn't like killing, at any time or for any reason, but killing him was justifiable. It wasn't good justification, as I had still killed someone, but he had killed Alana and she deserved to be avenged. Gideon had signed his death warrant the moment he decided to go after her.

He was the reason I wouldn't have coffee, a relationship, and sex with Alana. I had made the decision if he would live or die and I had carried Gideon's punishment to the fullest extent I could. I had been powerful. In that brief moment I had been extremely powerful. It had felt good.

"I didn't save Alana. It doesn't matter if I killed Gideon or not." I said, realizing the dark paths my mind had been going down.

"The fact that you were able to act without knowing what was really happening is to be commended." Hannibal tried to reassure me.

But he couldn't reassure me. I had been thinking, mere seconds ago, that killing Gideon had been some sort of righteous act. I shouldn't be glad that I had saved Alana when she was already dead.
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