I talk about the Pilot of the show Cult.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Cult "You're Next" Review
Inbetween: Death of the Five 1
About the Inbetween Series:
I have some ideas for stories that I don’t usually write because my four main series take up so much time (that and other blog work). So I decided that between writing sections of my main series, to write short little fanfics.
These fanfics will be HIGHLY self-indulgent. Because I work so hard on my other series that I deserve a little break.
Sometimes some of these “Inbetween Fics” might be samples of later works (that might turn out to be either a fanfic series OR original series).
About "Death of Five":
An idea has been going through my head for awhile about a character that I'm calling Rinn (at least for the moment). I have partially (not fully, since that'd mean I'd have outlined the series already) thought up the story I'd tell about her. From her beginnings all the way to where she's basically all alone in the universe. If I ever do get to writing Rinn's entire story (which might not be for a number of years) "Death of the Five" will probably take place near the end of it. I decided this part would be the best to tell for Inbetween since it'd be the easiest to shorten and has a clear cut beginning and end to it.
Where It Takes Place in the Star Wars Timeline:
While this is an AU fic, I have decided on a rough outline where this could take place. It'd be before Episode I and before Qui-Gon Jinn took Obi-Wan Kenobi as his apprentice.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Spending any amount of time on a space station made you lose sense of reality. Reality, of course, being the sense of the wind on your face. Even if that wind would kill you if you took the air in with your lungs. But living on a space station also allowed me to be a drifter. Because, really, who would look at a simple human pilot? Especially if the pilot could take care of her own ship.
No doubt people would ask questions behind my back, but it would never get to the point where I'd be under any form of investigation.
But any opinions that were thrown about the young, at least that's how my body appeared, drifter Rinn wasn't any concern of mine now. This was due to me being part of a two person team that would search for something ancient. Something so ancient that many didn't believe it really existed. And even those that believed it existed didn't want to find it due to its supposed ties to the Sith Order.
At least one was willing to find out if it really existed and then go to it. I finished making myself presentable for the Jedi Master and then went over to my computer. I did a brief overview of the top stories on the holonet, but nothing seemed interesting to me. Of course, once someone lived as long as I did, not much could stimulate my interest.
There were only so many times I could hear about a civil war, famine, or the like before I became disinterested. This isn't to say they weren't important, but I saw a bigger picture. A never ending portrait of pain. So worrying about one problem, no matter how important, was useless since it would always be eclipsed by a future one.
So checking the holonet didn't take long and I went to check on something vastly more important. Something that was one problem that I actually gave a damn about. Mainly because if the Five were found out they could be awakened and then all hell would be let lose.
I started to make sure the Five's location was still safe and secret. My memories of them started to flood my mind. They crashed over me. While things could go wrong if they were discovered, I hadn't been able to kill them. I had decided shortly after the Sith became a children's bedtime story, to cryogenically freeze them instead of ending their lives.
While they had been a plague onto anything good, and strong in what this galaxy's inhabitants called the Dark Side of the Force, they had still been my comrades a long time ago in another galaxy. When the Massacre had happened we had been all that was left of the Navigators.
It had been...I shook my head and shut down my computer as soon as I was assured that the Five's location was still secret. That's all that mattered. I left my cabin and walked to where I was supposed to meet this Jedi Master.
I waited by the door until it opened and he walked through it. He was a tall human male. He seemed to be in his late 50's or early 60's. His hair was long and he had a small little beard. All in all, a very impressive build. His physique radiated power, though I sensed calmness in him that would temper any rage. At least rage that would lead to the Dark Side.
"Welcome, Master Qui-Gon Jinn." I said and felt something that I hadn't felt in some time. Being a Navigator, even though I had used The Cure, meant certain emotions had become foreign to me. Or at least I only felt them on rare occasions. "I am here to help you on your mission. Whatever that might be."
I tried to keep silent that I knew his mission. Because I wasn't ranked high enough, at least not now at this point in time, to have the information.
"You are Rinn?" He asked and I nodded. "I am continuing my mission to find the Heart of the Darkness."
"You mean the ship that holds something that even the Sith were afraid of?" I asked. Pretending to only know the common myth that was told about it. Pretending not to know what the ship really held.
Qui-Gon gave a subtle smile to reassure me as he mistook any sign of nervousness as a fear of him. I thought I was hiding my secrets from him and so it couldn't be that. But maybe he was sensing my confusion about what I was feeling.
And with Qui-Gon's reassuring smile it hit me. I was feeling what a normal human would describe as being attracted to him.
---------------------------------------
Inbetween tumblr
I have some ideas for stories that I don’t usually write because my four main series take up so much time (that and other blog work). So I decided that between writing sections of my main series, to write short little fanfics.
These fanfics will be HIGHLY self-indulgent. Because I work so hard on my other series that I deserve a little break.
Sometimes some of these “Inbetween Fics” might be samples of later works (that might turn out to be either a fanfic series OR original series).
About "Death of Five":
An idea has been going through my head for awhile about a character that I'm calling Rinn (at least for the moment). I have partially (not fully, since that'd mean I'd have outlined the series already) thought up the story I'd tell about her. From her beginnings all the way to where she's basically all alone in the universe. If I ever do get to writing Rinn's entire story (which might not be for a number of years) "Death of the Five" will probably take place near the end of it. I decided this part would be the best to tell for Inbetween since it'd be the easiest to shorten and has a clear cut beginning and end to it.
Where It Takes Place in the Star Wars Timeline:
While this is an AU fic, I have decided on a rough outline where this could take place. It'd be before Episode I and before Qui-Gon Jinn took Obi-Wan Kenobi as his apprentice.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Spending any amount of time on a space station made you lose sense of reality. Reality, of course, being the sense of the wind on your face. Even if that wind would kill you if you took the air in with your lungs. But living on a space station also allowed me to be a drifter. Because, really, who would look at a simple human pilot? Especially if the pilot could take care of her own ship.
No doubt people would ask questions behind my back, but it would never get to the point where I'd be under any form of investigation.
But any opinions that were thrown about the young, at least that's how my body appeared, drifter Rinn wasn't any concern of mine now. This was due to me being part of a two person team that would search for something ancient. Something so ancient that many didn't believe it really existed. And even those that believed it existed didn't want to find it due to its supposed ties to the Sith Order.
At least one was willing to find out if it really existed and then go to it. I finished making myself presentable for the Jedi Master and then went over to my computer. I did a brief overview of the top stories on the holonet, but nothing seemed interesting to me. Of course, once someone lived as long as I did, not much could stimulate my interest.
There were only so many times I could hear about a civil war, famine, or the like before I became disinterested. This isn't to say they weren't important, but I saw a bigger picture. A never ending portrait of pain. So worrying about one problem, no matter how important, was useless since it would always be eclipsed by a future one.
So checking the holonet didn't take long and I went to check on something vastly more important. Something that was one problem that I actually gave a damn about. Mainly because if the Five were found out they could be awakened and then all hell would be let lose.
I started to make sure the Five's location was still safe and secret. My memories of them started to flood my mind. They crashed over me. While things could go wrong if they were discovered, I hadn't been able to kill them. I had decided shortly after the Sith became a children's bedtime story, to cryogenically freeze them instead of ending their lives.
While they had been a plague onto anything good, and strong in what this galaxy's inhabitants called the Dark Side of the Force, they had still been my comrades a long time ago in another galaxy. When the Massacre had happened we had been all that was left of the Navigators.
It had been...I shook my head and shut down my computer as soon as I was assured that the Five's location was still secret. That's all that mattered. I left my cabin and walked to where I was supposed to meet this Jedi Master.
I waited by the door until it opened and he walked through it. He was a tall human male. He seemed to be in his late 50's or early 60's. His hair was long and he had a small little beard. All in all, a very impressive build. His physique radiated power, though I sensed calmness in him that would temper any rage. At least rage that would lead to the Dark Side.
"Welcome, Master Qui-Gon Jinn." I said and felt something that I hadn't felt in some time. Being a Navigator, even though I had used The Cure, meant certain emotions had become foreign to me. Or at least I only felt them on rare occasions. "I am here to help you on your mission. Whatever that might be."
I tried to keep silent that I knew his mission. Because I wasn't ranked high enough, at least not now at this point in time, to have the information.
"You are Rinn?" He asked and I nodded. "I am continuing my mission to find the Heart of the Darkness."
"You mean the ship that holds something that even the Sith were afraid of?" I asked. Pretending to only know the common myth that was told about it. Pretending not to know what the ship really held.
Qui-Gon gave a subtle smile to reassure me as he mistook any sign of nervousness as a fear of him. I thought I was hiding my secrets from him and so it couldn't be that. But maybe he was sensing my confusion about what I was feeling.
And with Qui-Gon's reassuring smile it hit me. I was feeling what a normal human would describe as being attracted to him.
---------------------------------------
Inbetween tumblr
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Shipping Confessions: Destiel (SPN)
Yes, I am a fan of Supernatural. Though I didn't start watching the series until around its seventh season. Why that long? Well, I didn't watch TV around the time it premiered. Anyways, since I waited so long I had heard about the ship of Destiel (Dean Winchester and Castiel). So I guess you could say I was biased in favor of this ship?
Not really. I'm not a big slash fan (aka two men being in a romantic relationship), so I don't think I was that biased in that way. However, I quickly became a Destiel shipper after viewing episodes where Dean and Castiel appeared.
Unlike my love of the Camerah ship, being a Destiel shipper is very much the norm. In fact, there seems to be so much support in favor of this ship that it might just as well be canon. Not because everyone agrees with it, but because there are so many people pushing for this ship.
Misha Collins (the actor who plays Castiel) has pronounced Destiel canon. Well, he says that he plays Castiel like his character has romantic feelings for Dean. To us Destiel shippers that makes it canon, but it is not yet official.
One may point out that Dean Winchester is clearly heterosexual (due to how many women he hits on and sleeps with) and so can't be gay. So, therefore, being in a sexual relationship with Castiel (a MALE) is impossible.
I don't think Dean is gay. He does sleep with a lot of women and even had a long term relationship with Lisa Braeden. So, of course, he isn't gay. However, I believe him to be bisexual with a strong preference towards women. This would explain why we haven't seen Dean in a sexual relationship with a man (though there could be those that aren't shown).
Dean has shown slight signs that he's attracted to men (take the Season 8 Episode "Everybody Hates Hitler"). So a relationship between him and Castiel would work. If only looking at Dean's sexuality.
But what about Castiel?
As I said previously: Misha Collins, the actor who plays Castiel, says he plays the character as if he was sexually attracted to Dean. And an actor's views on the character he/she plays is very important.
If you want to disregard Collins' opinion, though, there are many instances throughout the series that show that Castiel loves Dean. If we want to look at a big one, Castiel risks everything for Dean. Castiel leaves his fellow angels to help Dean and Sam to stop the end of the world. After that Castiel even damns himself in the mistaken belief that he's helping Dean.
Castiel hasn't shown a clear sexuality in the series. It's more like he's a child and is slowly learning about how to be human. But it can be safely assumed that he's at least bisexual since he loves Dean.
While I am a big Destiel shipper, there's something that confuses the hell out of me. It seems like a good majority of Destiel shippers (not including me) hate the character of Sam Winchester (Dean's younger brother). I was not aware of this when I became a Destiel shipper, but I have since become familiar about this fact.
I think the reason a lot of Destiel shippers don't like Sam is because he keeps the lovers apart. Which I think is really stupid. The main theme of the show is family (which is why I have a little hate for a good majority of Season 8, the current season upon writing this) and so Sam has to be there. If not, there wouldn't be a show.
Having a brother does not keep one from having a lover. I am engaged and it doesn't affect my relationship with my family. My fiance doesn't keep me away from my family and so Sam doesn't drive Destiel from happening.
Myself, I like Sam. He's really the 'good' one (ironic, then, that he was Lucifer's vessel) and keeps Dean in check. The only time I didn't like Sam was in a good majority of Season 8 (but that was due to him being written out of character), though I hated not liking him because he's a great character.
Anyways, if you are a Destiel shipper don't hate on all those who aren't keen on seeing Dean and Castiel together. They aren't attacking you and you should respect their opinions. Hell, I'm a friend with someone who isn't a Destiel shipper and finds Castiel to have too much screen time. And, guess what, we don't attack each other for having our own opinions.
So what's up for the next Shipping Confessions? Well, we're going back to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles to look at my OTP (One True Pairing) of the series.
Not really. I'm not a big slash fan (aka two men being in a romantic relationship), so I don't think I was that biased in that way. However, I quickly became a Destiel shipper after viewing episodes where Dean and Castiel appeared.
Unlike my love of the Camerah ship, being a Destiel shipper is very much the norm. In fact, there seems to be so much support in favor of this ship that it might just as well be canon. Not because everyone agrees with it, but because there are so many people pushing for this ship.
Misha Collins (the actor who plays Castiel) has pronounced Destiel canon. Well, he says that he plays Castiel like his character has romantic feelings for Dean. To us Destiel shippers that makes it canon, but it is not yet official.
One may point out that Dean Winchester is clearly heterosexual (due to how many women he hits on and sleeps with) and so can't be gay. So, therefore, being in a sexual relationship with Castiel (a MALE) is impossible.
I don't think Dean is gay. He does sleep with a lot of women and even had a long term relationship with Lisa Braeden. So, of course, he isn't gay. However, I believe him to be bisexual with a strong preference towards women. This would explain why we haven't seen Dean in a sexual relationship with a man (though there could be those that aren't shown).
Dean has shown slight signs that he's attracted to men (take the Season 8 Episode "Everybody Hates Hitler"). So a relationship between him and Castiel would work. If only looking at Dean's sexuality.
But what about Castiel?
As I said previously: Misha Collins, the actor who plays Castiel, says he plays the character as if he was sexually attracted to Dean. And an actor's views on the character he/she plays is very important.
If you want to disregard Collins' opinion, though, there are many instances throughout the series that show that Castiel loves Dean. If we want to look at a big one, Castiel risks everything for Dean. Castiel leaves his fellow angels to help Dean and Sam to stop the end of the world. After that Castiel even damns himself in the mistaken belief that he's helping Dean.
Castiel hasn't shown a clear sexuality in the series. It's more like he's a child and is slowly learning about how to be human. But it can be safely assumed that he's at least bisexual since he loves Dean.
While I am a big Destiel shipper, there's something that confuses the hell out of me. It seems like a good majority of Destiel shippers (not including me) hate the character of Sam Winchester (Dean's younger brother). I was not aware of this when I became a Destiel shipper, but I have since become familiar about this fact.
I think the reason a lot of Destiel shippers don't like Sam is because he keeps the lovers apart. Which I think is really stupid. The main theme of the show is family (which is why I have a little hate for a good majority of Season 8, the current season upon writing this) and so Sam has to be there. If not, there wouldn't be a show.
Having a brother does not keep one from having a lover. I am engaged and it doesn't affect my relationship with my family. My fiance doesn't keep me away from my family and so Sam doesn't drive Destiel from happening.
Myself, I like Sam. He's really the 'good' one (ironic, then, that he was Lucifer's vessel) and keeps Dean in check. The only time I didn't like Sam was in a good majority of Season 8 (but that was due to him being written out of character), though I hated not liking him because he's a great character.
Anyways, if you are a Destiel shipper don't hate on all those who aren't keen on seeing Dean and Castiel together. They aren't attacking you and you should respect their opinions. Hell, I'm a friend with someone who isn't a Destiel shipper and finds Castiel to have too much screen time. And, guess what, we don't attack each other for having our own opinions.
So what's up for the next Shipping Confessions? Well, we're going back to Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles to look at my OTP (One True Pairing) of the series.
jtrc: Elementary (Part 2)
I finish this two parter by talking about Elementary fans.
Monday, February 18, 2013
Skyfall (2012)
Title: Skyfall
Series: James Bond
Based On the Books by: Ian Fleming
Director: Sam Mendes
Starring: Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, and Naomie Harris
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2012
Personal Rating: 4/5
Oscars: Nominated for 5
Plot: Bond's loyalty to M is tested when her past comes back to haunt her. Whilst MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feelings for M
She does what she has to. I'm not a fan of hers and I don't hate her. M's relationship with James Bond/007 isn't smooth sailing. That being said, he is by her side when she's in danger. And I like that. It shows that both have been through a lot together and they have each other's backs (even when M orders that shot that hits Bond in the beginning). I think this movie, above all else, is about Bond's relationship with M. Showing how far he will go to protect her even when they're not on the friendliest of terms.
Gay Subtext
Yes, Silva and Bond do share some gay moments. I'm not dissing gays here, I'm just stating a fact. Javier Bardem (Silva) and Daniel Craig (Bond) have both admitted to playing up the gay moments. It got so bad that half-way through filming they were told to tone it down. So be prepared for the first time Silva and Bond meets (which is the first scene of the duo that was filmed) to be very gay toned. revrezner said he was prepared to be watching a gay porno when he saw that scene. What's great about this is you can see Craig being on the verge of nearly breaking down laughing.
No One Wins
By the end of the movie there doesn't appear to be a winner. I won't say what happens but everyone's plans work out in some way and yet fail at the same time. This left me in a little bit of confusion as I think Bond movies should have a clear cut winner and loser (I say this without being a die hard Bond fan).
Final Thoughts
I am not a big Bond fan but am familiar enough with the series. That being said, I love Daniel Craig and like seeing him as Bond (though he seems to want to leave the role ASAP). Casino Royale and this movie are the two Bond movies with Craig that I think are good. Adele's theme song for this movie is nominated for an Oscar and the opening title sequence is just amazing. Other people have pointed out that it's similar in tone to The Dark Knight Rises and I have to agree with that. I wish I could have seen this in theaters but I couldn't get there in time. This movie seems like it would've been breathtaking in the theater. I believe Craig is signed up for two more Bond movies and then we'll probably have to let this star go from the role.
Series: James Bond
Based On the Books by: Ian Fleming
Director: Sam Mendes
Starring: Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, and Naomie Harris
Rated: PG-13
Released: 2012
Personal Rating: 4/5
Oscars: Nominated for 5
Plot: Bond's loyalty to M is tested when her past comes back to haunt her. Whilst MI6 comes under attack, 007 must track down and destroy the threat, no matter how personal the cost.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Feelings for M
She does what she has to. I'm not a fan of hers and I don't hate her. M's relationship with James Bond/007 isn't smooth sailing. That being said, he is by her side when she's in danger. And I like that. It shows that both have been through a lot together and they have each other's backs (even when M orders that shot that hits Bond in the beginning). I think this movie, above all else, is about Bond's relationship with M. Showing how far he will go to protect her even when they're not on the friendliest of terms.
Gay Subtext
Yes, Silva and Bond do share some gay moments. I'm not dissing gays here, I'm just stating a fact. Javier Bardem (Silva) and Daniel Craig (Bond) have both admitted to playing up the gay moments. It got so bad that half-way through filming they were told to tone it down. So be prepared for the first time Silva and Bond meets (which is the first scene of the duo that was filmed) to be very gay toned. revrezner said he was prepared to be watching a gay porno when he saw that scene. What's great about this is you can see Craig being on the verge of nearly breaking down laughing.
No One Wins
By the end of the movie there doesn't appear to be a winner. I won't say what happens but everyone's plans work out in some way and yet fail at the same time. This left me in a little bit of confusion as I think Bond movies should have a clear cut winner and loser (I say this without being a die hard Bond fan).
Final Thoughts
I am not a big Bond fan but am familiar enough with the series. That being said, I love Daniel Craig and like seeing him as Bond (though he seems to want to leave the role ASAP). Casino Royale and this movie are the two Bond movies with Craig that I think are good. Adele's theme song for this movie is nominated for an Oscar and the opening title sequence is just amazing. Other people have pointed out that it's similar in tone to The Dark Knight Rises and I have to agree with that. I wish I could have seen this in theaters but I couldn't get there in time. This movie seems like it would've been breathtaking in the theater. I believe Craig is signed up for two more Bond movies and then we'll probably have to let this star go from the role.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
The Eternal Heart: New Recruit and Angelic Savior
I give a brief look at The Eternal Heart: New Recruit and a sneak peek of The Eternal Heart: Angelic Savior.
The Eternal Trilogy Facebook
The Eternal Trilogy Facebook
Saturday, February 16, 2013
The Eternal Heart: New Recruit
"Skynet did manage to put some intelligence into their foot soldiers." My Resistance trainer for the day said. Unlike Barnes, he was white. But, like Barnes, he had the same loathing for me.
"Terminators would be useless if they couldn't think," I replied while trying to not think of myself as one of them. "If they couldn't think then they couldn't fight."
My trainer's face assumed a blank expression to not give me the pleasure of seeing him angry. It didn't matter to me what his expression was because I knew what he was feeling. Or at least I had a very good guess of what his emotions were at the moment.
"That will be all for today, Jash." He said. The only motion he made for me to go away was to turn his face from mine.
"I'll see you tomorrow then." I said as I walked away. I wasn't expecting a reply and was rewarded with silence.
My footsteps brought me closer to my new destination. Faster than a human's would. No, I was doing what was called speed walking. I just had an easier time at it than a pure human would. That way of realization wouldn't lead me anywhere useful and might cause problems in the future.
But I didn't care at the moment.
I opened a door into a very small room. Like the rest of the base, it seemed to be about to collapse at any given moment. However, there wasn't a high likelihood that it would. The base reflected the very human spirit of those living here. A spirit that I didn't really have. But that I wished I did.
The only furniture in the room was a chair. Its front faced the door and I went over to it. As I went to sit down a woman entered the room. Once I was comfortable, she had shut the door. The look on her face showed that she had been in a few battles, but nothing that had torn her apart yet.
The Resistance woman stood in front of me and remained quiet for a few minutes. I didn't know whether she was nervous or if she was holding back her anger. Finally she spoke, "Jash, why did you join the Resistance?"
"Because Skynet needs to die." I replied.
"But you are a Terminator."
"I am only a Terminator because Skynet desecrated my body. I was probably just a normal human girl before. Hanging out with friends and trying to hide my feelings for my newest crush. I don't know what I would've done. I just know that it would've been normal."
"So you want revenge?"
"I want the ability to be human again. Without having to worry about Skynet trying to stop me."
"And will you be willing to follow our leader John Connor?"
"I've been asked that more times than I can count. And, being a hybrid, you better believe I can count pretty damn high." I paused only to have her look confused with how to react to my words. "And my answer is still the same. The answer is still yes."
She then asked her final question, "Is there any reason you are willing to?"
I thought about my answer. The truth was that I loved John and would follow him to the end of the world. Well, beyond the end of the world. But I couldn't tell this woman that. If she told John, things could get awkward. And I didn't know how I could get my feelings across to him. Leaving that duty to someone I didn't know wouldn't be a smart thing to do.
When I formulated a good sounding answer I spoke, "I trust John Connor. I trust that he is the best way to defeating Skynet."
The woman nodded. "Our session is over for now."
With that she walked out. I waited a few minutes and then headed towards my room. My room wasn't the same as my holding cell, but only slightly better. I wasn't considered a part of the Resistance by most members, so I was lucky just to have a room.
Resistance fighters passed me as I headed to my room. To me they weren't important and only one caught my eye and turned his face from mine. I swore John Connor had been looking at me, but he had quickly turned his gaze to another soldier. After that there was a conversation between the two.
I continued to move towards my room, but the thought that John had been sneaking a look at me continued to grow. The only bright light in this war.
*************************************************
While lying in my bed I thought about John. The perfect John Connor. At least that's how he appeared to me. If it weren't for him I would be dead. The only upside to being dead is that I would never know what I really was. Finding out that I was a hybrid had been bad enough, but finding out that I had been working for Skynet had been worse. And could John ever love a machine? Even if he wasn't already married?
As I ran through those thoughts in my head, I faintly heard knocking on my door. Coming back to the present I got off my bed and opened the door. A disinterested human face greeted me in my doorway.
"What is it?" I asked the woman.
"Katherine Connor orders you to come to Sickbay." She replied. Her voice somehow conveying both hatred and boredom at once.
"Are you going to walk me there?" I asked. For some reason I liked the way she looked and wanted to ask her to stay in my room for a little bit. But I couldn't because I had to show John that I was faithful. He had seemed to look past me being a hybrid and that I had been a pawn of Skynet. Not being faithful would be asking too much of him.
"No, I think you can find your own way." With that the woman walked away and I was left to walk to Sickbay myself.
I left only when I had gotten myself properly dressed. While walking to Sickbay I thought about why John would've married Katherine. While she was loyal, dedicated, and intelligent I couldn't see anything special about her. And when someone decided to marry, shouldn't the object of their affections be special?
Katherine was tending to a wounded soldier. I had to stand in the doorway for a few minutes before she even acknowledged me. It wasn't until after she had finished with the soldier that she said, "Jash, do you have any medical experience?"
The soldier got up, thanked Katherine, and then walked out of Sickbay.
"No," I replied as soon as the soldier had left. "I don't think Skynet had any need of me fixing any humans up. I mean, they never planned on a party for the Resistance. Not really that close."
"It probably wanted you to be a good killer, which means you had to know anatomy." Katherine said and walked to a table, ignoring my sarcastic answer. Things had been set up to look like a makeshift classroom.
Those were the last words that were spoken before I was getting tested on my medical skills. The testing went on for hours and it seemed like Katherine was being too hard on me. Of course it could just be that I was worn out from the distrust the Resistance had shown me so far. Or Katherine was being hard on me because she wanted to make sure of what I knew.
After the testing she gave me very basic medical training for the next two hours. When all of that was finished I leaned against the wall. While nothing physically draining had happened, the fact that I had been making sure not to say the wrong thing had worn me down.
"You did a better job than I expected." Katherine finally said.
"Thank you, Mrs. Connor." I said to show my gratitude and that I knew that John was her's. At least for the time being.
"One more thing before I let you go, though." She said and I could see that she was trying to control her hatred.
"What is it?" I asked.
"John Connor, my husband, is a very loyal man." Katherine said. "He won't let temptations get the better of him. No matter how much he wants them to. Do you understand me?"
"Yes." I reply and Katherine signaled me to leave. I did so with a happy thought in my head. The thought that Katherine felt threatened by me.
*****************************************
I tried to control my breathing. I thought that being a hybrid would mean I wouldn't get so nervous. Or maybe my nervousness was because my chip had been removed, so I didn't have as much control as I should have.
After I got my uniform on, I looked at myself in a dirty mirror. Wiping the mirror off a little I could see myself just a little better. I know why I was attracted to John Connor, but would my looks and abilities be enough for me to win him over?
But there were other things to attend to now. Such as the upcoming battle. I walked out of my room and went to join the other soldiers. My comrades. There was some pre-battle talk among them but I didn't join in. Partially because I was nervous and partially because I knew the soldiers didn't want to talk to me. I was a hybrid and therefore a creation of Skynet. And there was nothing worse than something of the enemy being on your side.
But all those thoughts were pushed aside when I saw John Connor come to join the troops. For some reason he was keeping Katherine at the base. All the better for me to bond more with John. We hadn't talked much due to Katherine's efforts to keep me away from him and how busy he was in his duties as leader of the Resistance.
John Connor stood in front of me and my comrades while he gave a speech. I didn't hear what he said, I was just looking at the way he said it. It didn't matter I wasn't listening to his words as I had made sure to be clear about the battle beforehand. So I looked at his facial expressions, the sound of his voice, and how the Resistance soldiers responded to him. It was no wonder that I was falling for him. In a different way, the Resistance had fallen in love with him.
After he was done giving his speech, we went into different helicopters. I went into the one I had been assigned to and saw myself next to John Connor. I was going into battle with him right beside me. Not just as my leader, but as someone beside me.
As the landscape passed below us, I tried to calm myself down again. I knew once I was in battle I would be able to distract myself, but not now.
"First time?" John jokingly asked me.
"For the right side and not under mind control, yes." I replied with a smile.
"I'm sure you'll do fine. You were made to fight."
"And what were you made for?"
John paused a moment. His mind seemed to turn in on itself. Finally he replied, "I was made to lead."
"Skynet didn't mess with you. You are human and I don't think you were made for a purpose. You are free to make your own decisions. Your own destiny." I said.
He gave me a weak smile.
"You just do what you were made for, Jash." John said and that was the last thing he said to me before the battle began.
We arrived at the battlefield and there was chaos. Of course it was controlled chaos but it was hard to concentrate. However, I was quickly able to realize what I was supposed to do. This wasn't my first battle, but this was the first time I was fully aware of it. This time I knew who I was fighting for and who I was fighting against.
Minutes turned into hours and hours turned into years. Orders were yelled at me and I obeyed. It was odd killing Terminators and knowing that they were metal. I had to hold back bile as I remembered I used to be brainwashed to not know I was killing humans.
Once the deepest levels of hell became just the entrance, I felt relieved. Even though all of us wanted to shout out in joy for the fact that we were alive and had won today, we knew that we couldn't rest until we were back at base. The only safety we were guaranteed.
After a few minutes I remembered John. What if he had died?
"John!" I yelled while running around looking for him. Suddenly I heard a shot and then felt it pass me by just inches.
As I turned my gun around to try and find the attacker, another shot was fired and I heard a Terminator fall down. When I found my savior with my eyes I had to remind myself I still was not safe. I would have to leave dreaming about John Connor for another time. When I wasn't being shot at by surviving metal.
Another shot grazed my body and I turned to look for the new Terminator. This time John shot at it but I didn't hear it fall down. That task was mine as I turned to look for it as more Terminators fired at me. My savior's duty was now protecting me as I fired back at the remaining Terminators.
As shots were exchanged I felt alive. As Judgment Day had already happened, this felt like the only real kind of bonding that could exist. Never mind that my memories before Judgment Day hadn't come back to me yet. The point was that I thought that John and I were growing closer together than ever before.
While I focused on the Terminators that were shooting at me, I also made sure John wasn't in danger of dying. I knew that focusing on myself was selfish, but if I didn't I couldn't protect him. My current selfishness would be better during this fight.
Finally I shot down the last Terminator and turned to John and said, "Good shot, John."
"Couldn't have done it without you, Jash." He said and smiled at me. We both ignored the fact that I had given him credit for my shooting abilities.
I don't know if I'd ever encounter something so beautiful as his smile again. And now, while we weren't in immediate danger, I could focus on him.
"If you weren't there I'd be dead." I said and walked over to him.
Once I got close to him, he grasped my arm. "I could say the same thing about you."
For a few moments we just looked into each other's eyes. I was silent because I didn't want to say the wrong thing. While battle did unite people, I didn't know if it had united us enough for him to leave Katherine.
Why he remained silent I couldn't tell. I didn't want to guess in case the answer wasn't one I was looking for.
When the moment had passed he let go of me and we walked to a helicopter. I went in and John stood outside of it and talked to a few Resistance Fighters. Before the battle my comrades hadn't talked to me, but now they were congratulating me. Not for me getting a small bit of John's affection, but for me surviving my first battle. Well, first battle with the Resistance. My first battle for the right side.
John finally joined me and the congratulations stopped as my comrades were scared of saying some of the more vulgar comments in front of their leader. Once the helicopter I was in landed at base I got out after John.
Him being the leader of the Resistance meant he took the brunt of the reactions. After not seeing Barnes for so long, I had trouble remaining calm as he went up to John. While Barnes had kind words for John, he ignored me.
Katherine came running into John's arm. He hugged her tightly. But I could tell she wasn't pleased with how tight he was hugging her.
"Promise me you'll let me go next time." Katherine whispered into John's ear. Only the combination that I was standing close to John and was a hybrid meant I heard it. And by hearing it I felt jealous.
I felt jealous because Katherine was trying to come between John and my's budding relationship. Yes, she was his wife but I saw that as a temporary position for her.
"I promise I will one day." John replied to her and I suddenly felt guilty. Katherine, whatever her faults were, made John happy. I wanted to make John happy like she did, but what if any of my tinkering made him not feel joy ever again?
Katherine and John let go of each other and she turned to me. And with the cold look she gave me I felt a little better about wanting to come between them.
"Jash, I think this makes you a real member of the Resistance now." Katherine said. I felt guilty again, but not enough to turn me from planning to take John away from her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Eternal Heart Blog aka The Wars Against Skynet
The Eternal Trilogy Facebook
The Eternal Heart tumblr
"Terminators would be useless if they couldn't think," I replied while trying to not think of myself as one of them. "If they couldn't think then they couldn't fight."
My trainer's face assumed a blank expression to not give me the pleasure of seeing him angry. It didn't matter to me what his expression was because I knew what he was feeling. Or at least I had a very good guess of what his emotions were at the moment.
"That will be all for today, Jash." He said. The only motion he made for me to go away was to turn his face from mine.
"I'll see you tomorrow then." I said as I walked away. I wasn't expecting a reply and was rewarded with silence.
My footsteps brought me closer to my new destination. Faster than a human's would. No, I was doing what was called speed walking. I just had an easier time at it than a pure human would. That way of realization wouldn't lead me anywhere useful and might cause problems in the future.
But I didn't care at the moment.
I opened a door into a very small room. Like the rest of the base, it seemed to be about to collapse at any given moment. However, there wasn't a high likelihood that it would. The base reflected the very human spirit of those living here. A spirit that I didn't really have. But that I wished I did.
The only furniture in the room was a chair. Its front faced the door and I went over to it. As I went to sit down a woman entered the room. Once I was comfortable, she had shut the door. The look on her face showed that she had been in a few battles, but nothing that had torn her apart yet.
The Resistance woman stood in front of me and remained quiet for a few minutes. I didn't know whether she was nervous or if she was holding back her anger. Finally she spoke, "Jash, why did you join the Resistance?"
"Because Skynet needs to die." I replied.
"But you are a Terminator."
"I am only a Terminator because Skynet desecrated my body. I was probably just a normal human girl before. Hanging out with friends and trying to hide my feelings for my newest crush. I don't know what I would've done. I just know that it would've been normal."
"So you want revenge?"
"I want the ability to be human again. Without having to worry about Skynet trying to stop me."
"And will you be willing to follow our leader John Connor?"
"I've been asked that more times than I can count. And, being a hybrid, you better believe I can count pretty damn high." I paused only to have her look confused with how to react to my words. "And my answer is still the same. The answer is still yes."
She then asked her final question, "Is there any reason you are willing to?"
I thought about my answer. The truth was that I loved John and would follow him to the end of the world. Well, beyond the end of the world. But I couldn't tell this woman that. If she told John, things could get awkward. And I didn't know how I could get my feelings across to him. Leaving that duty to someone I didn't know wouldn't be a smart thing to do.
When I formulated a good sounding answer I spoke, "I trust John Connor. I trust that he is the best way to defeating Skynet."
The woman nodded. "Our session is over for now."
With that she walked out. I waited a few minutes and then headed towards my room. My room wasn't the same as my holding cell, but only slightly better. I wasn't considered a part of the Resistance by most members, so I was lucky just to have a room.
Resistance fighters passed me as I headed to my room. To me they weren't important and only one caught my eye and turned his face from mine. I swore John Connor had been looking at me, but he had quickly turned his gaze to another soldier. After that there was a conversation between the two.
I continued to move towards my room, but the thought that John had been sneaking a look at me continued to grow. The only bright light in this war.
*************************************************
While lying in my bed I thought about John. The perfect John Connor. At least that's how he appeared to me. If it weren't for him I would be dead. The only upside to being dead is that I would never know what I really was. Finding out that I was a hybrid had been bad enough, but finding out that I had been working for Skynet had been worse. And could John ever love a machine? Even if he wasn't already married?
As I ran through those thoughts in my head, I faintly heard knocking on my door. Coming back to the present I got off my bed and opened the door. A disinterested human face greeted me in my doorway.
"What is it?" I asked the woman.
"Katherine Connor orders you to come to Sickbay." She replied. Her voice somehow conveying both hatred and boredom at once.
"Are you going to walk me there?" I asked. For some reason I liked the way she looked and wanted to ask her to stay in my room for a little bit. But I couldn't because I had to show John that I was faithful. He had seemed to look past me being a hybrid and that I had been a pawn of Skynet. Not being faithful would be asking too much of him.
"No, I think you can find your own way." With that the woman walked away and I was left to walk to Sickbay myself.
I left only when I had gotten myself properly dressed. While walking to Sickbay I thought about why John would've married Katherine. While she was loyal, dedicated, and intelligent I couldn't see anything special about her. And when someone decided to marry, shouldn't the object of their affections be special?
Katherine was tending to a wounded soldier. I had to stand in the doorway for a few minutes before she even acknowledged me. It wasn't until after she had finished with the soldier that she said, "Jash, do you have any medical experience?"
The soldier got up, thanked Katherine, and then walked out of Sickbay.
"No," I replied as soon as the soldier had left. "I don't think Skynet had any need of me fixing any humans up. I mean, they never planned on a party for the Resistance. Not really that close."
"It probably wanted you to be a good killer, which means you had to know anatomy." Katherine said and walked to a table, ignoring my sarcastic answer. Things had been set up to look like a makeshift classroom.
Those were the last words that were spoken before I was getting tested on my medical skills. The testing went on for hours and it seemed like Katherine was being too hard on me. Of course it could just be that I was worn out from the distrust the Resistance had shown me so far. Or Katherine was being hard on me because she wanted to make sure of what I knew.
After the testing she gave me very basic medical training for the next two hours. When all of that was finished I leaned against the wall. While nothing physically draining had happened, the fact that I had been making sure not to say the wrong thing had worn me down.
"You did a better job than I expected." Katherine finally said.
"Thank you, Mrs. Connor." I said to show my gratitude and that I knew that John was her's. At least for the time being.
"One more thing before I let you go, though." She said and I could see that she was trying to control her hatred.
"What is it?" I asked.
"John Connor, my husband, is a very loyal man." Katherine said. "He won't let temptations get the better of him. No matter how much he wants them to. Do you understand me?"
"Yes." I reply and Katherine signaled me to leave. I did so with a happy thought in my head. The thought that Katherine felt threatened by me.
*****************************************
I tried to control my breathing. I thought that being a hybrid would mean I wouldn't get so nervous. Or maybe my nervousness was because my chip had been removed, so I didn't have as much control as I should have.
After I got my uniform on, I looked at myself in a dirty mirror. Wiping the mirror off a little I could see myself just a little better. I know why I was attracted to John Connor, but would my looks and abilities be enough for me to win him over?
But there were other things to attend to now. Such as the upcoming battle. I walked out of my room and went to join the other soldiers. My comrades. There was some pre-battle talk among them but I didn't join in. Partially because I was nervous and partially because I knew the soldiers didn't want to talk to me. I was a hybrid and therefore a creation of Skynet. And there was nothing worse than something of the enemy being on your side.
But all those thoughts were pushed aside when I saw John Connor come to join the troops. For some reason he was keeping Katherine at the base. All the better for me to bond more with John. We hadn't talked much due to Katherine's efforts to keep me away from him and how busy he was in his duties as leader of the Resistance.
John Connor stood in front of me and my comrades while he gave a speech. I didn't hear what he said, I was just looking at the way he said it. It didn't matter I wasn't listening to his words as I had made sure to be clear about the battle beforehand. So I looked at his facial expressions, the sound of his voice, and how the Resistance soldiers responded to him. It was no wonder that I was falling for him. In a different way, the Resistance had fallen in love with him.
After he was done giving his speech, we went into different helicopters. I went into the one I had been assigned to and saw myself next to John Connor. I was going into battle with him right beside me. Not just as my leader, but as someone beside me.
As the landscape passed below us, I tried to calm myself down again. I knew once I was in battle I would be able to distract myself, but not now.
"First time?" John jokingly asked me.
"For the right side and not under mind control, yes." I replied with a smile.
"I'm sure you'll do fine. You were made to fight."
"And what were you made for?"
John paused a moment. His mind seemed to turn in on itself. Finally he replied, "I was made to lead."
"Skynet didn't mess with you. You are human and I don't think you were made for a purpose. You are free to make your own decisions. Your own destiny." I said.
He gave me a weak smile.
"You just do what you were made for, Jash." John said and that was the last thing he said to me before the battle began.
We arrived at the battlefield and there was chaos. Of course it was controlled chaos but it was hard to concentrate. However, I was quickly able to realize what I was supposed to do. This wasn't my first battle, but this was the first time I was fully aware of it. This time I knew who I was fighting for and who I was fighting against.
Minutes turned into hours and hours turned into years. Orders were yelled at me and I obeyed. It was odd killing Terminators and knowing that they were metal. I had to hold back bile as I remembered I used to be brainwashed to not know I was killing humans.
Once the deepest levels of hell became just the entrance, I felt relieved. Even though all of us wanted to shout out in joy for the fact that we were alive and had won today, we knew that we couldn't rest until we were back at base. The only safety we were guaranteed.
After a few minutes I remembered John. What if he had died?
"John!" I yelled while running around looking for him. Suddenly I heard a shot and then felt it pass me by just inches.
As I turned my gun around to try and find the attacker, another shot was fired and I heard a Terminator fall down. When I found my savior with my eyes I had to remind myself I still was not safe. I would have to leave dreaming about John Connor for another time. When I wasn't being shot at by surviving metal.
Another shot grazed my body and I turned to look for the new Terminator. This time John shot at it but I didn't hear it fall down. That task was mine as I turned to look for it as more Terminators fired at me. My savior's duty was now protecting me as I fired back at the remaining Terminators.
As shots were exchanged I felt alive. As Judgment Day had already happened, this felt like the only real kind of bonding that could exist. Never mind that my memories before Judgment Day hadn't come back to me yet. The point was that I thought that John and I were growing closer together than ever before.
While I focused on the Terminators that were shooting at me, I also made sure John wasn't in danger of dying. I knew that focusing on myself was selfish, but if I didn't I couldn't protect him. My current selfishness would be better during this fight.
Finally I shot down the last Terminator and turned to John and said, "Good shot, John."
"Couldn't have done it without you, Jash." He said and smiled at me. We both ignored the fact that I had given him credit for my shooting abilities.
I don't know if I'd ever encounter something so beautiful as his smile again. And now, while we weren't in immediate danger, I could focus on him.
"If you weren't there I'd be dead." I said and walked over to him.
Once I got close to him, he grasped my arm. "I could say the same thing about you."
For a few moments we just looked into each other's eyes. I was silent because I didn't want to say the wrong thing. While battle did unite people, I didn't know if it had united us enough for him to leave Katherine.
Why he remained silent I couldn't tell. I didn't want to guess in case the answer wasn't one I was looking for.
When the moment had passed he let go of me and we walked to a helicopter. I went in and John stood outside of it and talked to a few Resistance Fighters. Before the battle my comrades hadn't talked to me, but now they were congratulating me. Not for me getting a small bit of John's affection, but for me surviving my first battle. Well, first battle with the Resistance. My first battle for the right side.
John finally joined me and the congratulations stopped as my comrades were scared of saying some of the more vulgar comments in front of their leader. Once the helicopter I was in landed at base I got out after John.
Him being the leader of the Resistance meant he took the brunt of the reactions. After not seeing Barnes for so long, I had trouble remaining calm as he went up to John. While Barnes had kind words for John, he ignored me.
Katherine came running into John's arm. He hugged her tightly. But I could tell she wasn't pleased with how tight he was hugging her.
"Promise me you'll let me go next time." Katherine whispered into John's ear. Only the combination that I was standing close to John and was a hybrid meant I heard it. And by hearing it I felt jealous.
I felt jealous because Katherine was trying to come between John and my's budding relationship. Yes, she was his wife but I saw that as a temporary position for her.
"I promise I will one day." John replied to her and I suddenly felt guilty. Katherine, whatever her faults were, made John happy. I wanted to make John happy like she did, but what if any of my tinkering made him not feel joy ever again?
Katherine and John let go of each other and she turned to me. And with the cold look she gave me I felt a little better about wanting to come between them.
"Jash, I think this makes you a real member of the Resistance now." Katherine said. I felt guilty again, but not enough to turn me from planning to take John away from her.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Eternal Heart Blog aka The Wars Against Skynet
The Eternal Trilogy Facebook
The Eternal Heart tumblr
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)