Crossed the Line

Credit

This is an Animorphs fic. All rights belong to the copyright holders.

This is a drabble. Feel free to make a request or two.

[Will this be a secret I'll have to keep, Alloran?] My wife asked.

I was finally back at my scoop with Jahar and our two children. Though the feeling that I shouldn't be here pervaded my mind. How could I arrive home after my hands had been bloodied by the crime I had committed so my kind had a chance at fighting the Yeerk threat?

[Yes,] I replied. [My name will be clean publicly but I doubt the prestige of my past will still exist.]

While I kept my main eyes on Jahar, my stalk eyes watched as our children raced around the scoop. How lucky they were to not know the true pain of war. Right now they had all the enthusiasm to fight the Yeerks that I had before attempting to keep the Hork-Bajir out of the clutches of the Yeerks. At least my actions would keep them free.

[I helped the Hork-Bajr in their struggles against the Yeerks.] I began. [Not because I cared for the stupid creatures, but because the species could be used as shock troops by the parasites. While the species lacks intelligence, their blades can be used to devastating effects. Even the greatest Andalite would have trouble standing up to them. But as time went on I became homesick and realized the Yeerks would win. There was no other choice than to ask the Arn for help to create a Quantum Virus to kill as many Hork-Bajir as possible.]
In response my wife didn't look at me. Her main eyes turned to look at our children while her stalk eyes looked everywhere but me. I had expected her to react like that as I had committed a great crime. I would been blamed for the crime any of my superiors would've committed. But now they had someone else to blame.

[I understand your feelings, Jahar.] I said and she looked at me with one of her stalk eyes. [If you decide to treat me like the others will, I understand.]

[I don't hate you, Alloran, I could never hate you.] Jahar replied sadly and turned all her eyes to look at me. [I hate this war that drove you to do such a thing. If we had only treated the Yeerks with actual respect instead of dismissing them since they weren't us, then we could've avoided this whole mess. If there was no war you would still be the man I married.]

My wife, though kind, was naive and hopeful. She had not seen what I had. The Yeerks were greedy and would've betrayed us no matter how kind we were. We should've killed them all and avoided this whole mess.

But I wouldn't take her hope away. I would rather be a Controller than for her to lose the love she had for the universe. So instead of arguing with her, I stroked her cheek with my palm.