S&N: No More Dancing

Fic Or Original: Original

Genre(s): Science Fiction/Romance

Rating: T (as according to fictionpress)

Characters In Chapter: Samara Crichton, Nazilla, Glau, Kered, Iraca

Relationship(s): Samara Crichton/Nazilla, Nazilla/Glau

Mark’s team had left a few days ago, but one person that wasn’t here originally still remained. A person I hoped recovered soon so he would leave quicker. I didn’t hate him like I hated Mark, I hated him because his hatred of me was profound. I knew those in Karma would hate me merely because I’m a Machine and Machines are the enemy, but he just over did it.

Of course I couldn’t complain about him to his face since he was the Earth Elemental.

 

“Kered, do you need anything else?” I asked him and it was merely because I was an M-4 that I didn’t let out a sarcastic sigh.

 

“I don’t know why I approved you.” Kered replied as Samara walked back in with his lunch.

 

“Because she is a loyal soldier of Karma.” Samara replied. “And Karma needs all the good soldiers it can get. The Net has unlimited resources compared to us and Naz is one of its Machines that turned against them.”

 

“We could’ve turned her into ours if we had to.”

 

“Then why hasn’t there been a whole influx of converted Machines?” I asked him. “If Karma can do it they would’ve already, no matter how disgusted everyone would be.”

 

Kered looked at me and I could see that he was getting better by how angry he was allowing himself to get. He continued to stare at me as Samara set up a table for him to eat his lunch off of. I didn’t mind that he got angry at me as long as he didn’t deactivate me. I wanted to continue to serve Karma as long as I could, though I had a sneaking suspicion that they would deactivate me once I had no further use to them.

   

Once Samara was done I approached Kered so as to help him to the table.

 

“I can do this on my own.” Kered replied angrily.

 

He started to get up and nearly fell over so I helped him stand up straight. While my duty was to help him, I knew when I would do more harm than good. I backed away a few feet immediately after he wasn’t in danger of falling over anymore.

 

Even though he seemed to take his time walking over, I could tell that he was walking quicker. I would have helped with some of his physical therapy, but Kered would only allow Samara to help him. I wanted to prove to him that I was helpful, but I couldn’t unless he wanted the help.

 

I watched as he ate and took note of every little movement he made while eating to help judge how healthy he was. Samara looked at me with a questioning look and I nodded back. I did so because he was getting better and was experiencing less pain than before.

 

 

“Don’t judge me, Machine.” Kered said.

 

“I am judging that you are returning to your former health.” I replied.

 

“And how does that make you feel?”

 

“It makes me feel as if we might have a good chance against Netty now.”

 

“Still calling it Netty?”

 

“Even if you don’t believe it, some of my old human self still remains.”

 

Kered just shook his head and finished his lunch. After that it was easy enough for me and Samara to make sure that Kered was comfortable. Then it was time for us to leave him alone.

 

As I walked away from his room, the fears that Kered had ignited in me started to come into my conscious mind. What if I was changing to a point where I wasn’t human? More importantly, why didn’t that make me afraid?

 

As I decided to wash the dishes by hand, I heard Samara’s breath close behind me.

  

“Are you worried about me?” I asked her.

 

“Yes,” She replied after a moment’s pause. “Why wouldn’t I be? You’re my girlfriend.”

 

“Am I? Or am I just a Machine that has your girlfriend’s memories?”

 

“Naz, why are yo-“

 

“You’ve been spending a lot of time with Kered. He’s probably talked to you about me. How all Machines are evil no matter what.”

 

“So? Do you really think I’m just going to believe what he thinks over what I know?”

 

“And what do you know?”

 

She didn’t answer until after I was finished with the task at hand. She answered with a long and deep kiss. I responded in kind merely because I knew it was an action she would like, even though I didn’t feel it like I used to.

 

As we ended the kiss I felt afraid. While I wasn’t worried much now by my M-4 self, that desperate kiss by her made me feel afraid. I wanted to feel that when I had returned it that I was feeling some sort of desperation. I wished that I wanted her to know, by my kiss alone, that I felt like I used to. That that part of me was there deep inside.

 

By Samara’s glance at me now, I knew she could tell that something was different. We had been lovers for too long for me to get away with what I had just felt. But as she kissed me again, I knew we both were hiding what we feared: that I was going to forget about being human and our relationship would be at an end.

 

I kissed Samara hard and cupped her face in my hands. If I pretended for her sake, maybe then I’d start feeling like I was fully human again.

 

But all I felt were bits of information as I pleasured her. I spent time on her to try and fool us both into not believing what we both knew. Maybe Samara believed I wasn’t as Machine-like as Kered was saying, but she knew something was different.

 

As we lay tangled in each other after we had made love, I knew that she still loved me. That she would keep giving me chances. So I promised myself not to disappoint her.
* * *

Talking to Glau wasn’t going anywhere fast. I should’ve been able to make more headway with her than I had. I was an M-4, something that Netty had made. And Netty wasn’t known for making products that couldn’t solve complex problems.

 

I knew that being an M-4 didn’t make me all powerful, but it should have made me able to fix an M-3. Of course some files on the M-3 model like Glau didn’t seem to be as in depth as other things. I hadn’t realized before that there was an actual human consciousness inside of her.

 

Had Netty not really trusted me? Did it know that M-4s could rebel?

 

“Why are you was-why are you doing this to me? What have I do-you can’t restrain me forever!” Glau yelled and cried as her two personalities tried to take control.

 

It pained me in different ways to see how Glau was reacting. It pained me to see a Machine unable to have a working consciousness and therefore it would probably never be fixed. It also pained me to see Glau when her human side came to the forefront, how she was so afraid and innocent of any damage that she had done.

 

“I’m going to fix you, Glau.” I told her again. “I’m going to fix you so you can help fight Netty.”

 

“I’m never goi-where am I?” Glau replied.

 

I ran a hand through her hair and for a moment I could swear she stopped fighting. It was as if my touch had calmed both sides of her. And, if I were to tell the truth, I had felt myself grow calmer when I touched her hair.

 

As I tried to start analyzing that moment, she started struggling again. I still examined that moment but was more concerned with the possibility of her finally escaping. I held her down as both sides of her were yelling out. I was glad that at least they were agreeing on something at the moment.

 

“Stop it!” Glau yelled out.

 

After a few minutes she calmed down and just lay still on the table. I examined the straps thoroughly and I concluded my examination of the moment. All three of us had calmed down when I had touched her hair and the straps were fastened tight enough.

 

I then ran scans to see if there was any chance someone had heard Glau yelling out. The chances of her being heard by someone were slim to none as tvs were left on in the house. Maybe Kered or Samara would hear her, but that’d be it. And that would only be because they would be listening to make sure that Glau didn’t escape.

 

“Glau, I can’t let you go until you’re confirmed to be safe.” I explained to the M-3. “And you going through two different personalities is not conductive to the relieving of your restraints.”

 

Half of Glau’s face looked angry and the other half looked frightened. I didn’t know how much her human side knew, but I was pretty sure that her Machine side understood very well. Why else would that side of her face look so angry?

 

As I was looking at her face my sensors detected movement coming towards me and I slowly turned around. It didn’t surprise me when Kered appeared walking down into the basement. I was glad he was moving around and would therefore be able to leave very soon.

 

Him being able to fight Netty was a bonus, I guess.

 

“So, you’re spending a lot of time with that…thing.” Kered said angrily.

 

I turned to look at Glau and saw that the human side of her was now in control. And that side was afraid.

 

“So the Machine can feel?” Kered said, a small grin coming to his face.

 

“The M-3 has a human and Machine side.” I explained. “Right now it is broken with both sides being fully distinct and not agreeing with the other. The human side doesn’t know what’s going on and is afraid.”

 

“Still a Machine.” Kered said and Glau’s Machine side took over and stared angrily at Kered. “You both are a perfect pair.”

 

I just stood there pretending to be fully focused on watching over Glau and not what Kered was saying.

 

“You both like to play human and pretend there is a good side of you. You’re a Machine and the only reason you’re alive now, Nazilla, is that you’re useful and safe. Don’t think for a second that when that changes that I’ll have remorse about killing you. You can’t live in both worlds and that’s why you’re not right for Samara Crichton. I could give less than a damn about sexuality preferences, I just care that you will harm her.” Kered said and I could see a bit of actual humanity in his words. “You are a Machine and you will end up ruining her, you can’t help that. You will destroy a good fighter of Karma, but she can’t see that.”

 

With that Kered left and I wondered if he was right. Was I going to lose my humanity? Was it better that I left Samara to find a real human woman?

 

After I finished up my work with Glau, I went and prepared a special meal for Samara and myself. I even put candles on the table that my Machine self didn’t find a need for. There was perfectly good lights making the candles unneeded.

 

I also prepared a special meal for her consisting of salmon covered with jalapenos. It wasn’t something she had eaten before, but I had panicked slightly. I knew she liked spicy food and fish seemed like a good addition for the meal.

 

As I put the food on the table, I went through all the meals I could’ve prepared but I couldn’t think up anything else. The only thing that we had any big quantities of for a fancy meal was fish. Kered really enjoyed fish and so we had a lot of it.

 

When Samara came in she laughed.

 

“Naz, you really outdid yourself.” Her grin was small but there.

 

“Kered enjoys fish.” I replied. “Only thing I could find.”

 

I pulled out her chair and went to my side of the table that didn’t have any food. I was an M-4, I didn’t need to eat and I shouldn’t unless necessary. As the dinner went on we talked about things that didn’t matter. Shows that we were watching and clothing she was thinking of buying.

 

I found myself not interested, but trying anyways. She deserved my love and affection in all things.

 

As for when we got up to the bedroom, I did things I usually didn’t do to her. I made her moan and scream. I pretended to be intensely pleasured while taking in all the data. I made sure to make this night extra special.

 

As we lay curled up in bed post-coitus, I listened as she slept.

 

Was I doing the right thing? Shouldn’t I let her be with a human woman?

 

Running my hand through her hair I knew that I loved her. I knew that I would keep her happy as she kept me happy as we did the give and take of a relationship.

 

But I couldn’t help feeling that Glau’s hair had felt different and better.
* * *
I was growing restless because of how ineffective I was being with repairing Glau. Each day added even more hours that made me feel useless. Each night Samara would try to calm me down either through talking or sex. Both ways weren’t effective at all. Every time the sun rose I felt even more useless.

 

“Don’t worry.” Samara said as she finished getting dressed. “You’ll figure this out or Kered will find a way to help us.”

 

“I am unsure that the man that wants to destroy the M-3 will be the one to help us.”

 

“Do you have a better idea?”

 

“No.”

 

“You’re going to ask me to ask him, right?”

 

“He will hardly take any advice from a Machine. It’ll be better coming from you.”

 

Besides Samara being a human, she actually had Kered’s basic mindset. When I had been human, she had been the more stable of us. She would cut right to the points that Kered would be interested in. Still, it made me feel weak that a hum-that someone else could do something that I should be easily able to do.

 

If I had still been human could I have a chance at convincing Kered? Or would it still be Samara who would be the only one to be able to convince him?

 

Probably only Samara could even if I had still been human, he didn’t seem like he was the joking type and so my human antics would have annoyed him. But he would be more accepting of me at least. He would be okay with my joking side because I wasn’t a Machine. A Machine, at least to him, was always worse than a human.

 

To try and calm myself, I did yard work. I scanned everything while I was outside as that calmed me. It calmed me to have to use up so much that I could actually not really think for a few minutes. I focused on the temperature of the air and all the sounds I heard among many other things.

 

It was calming.

 

As I finished up the yard work, I waited to hear Samara come to me and tell me that Kered had decided not to help us. What other option would he take? He would probably look at all the information I had gathered and decide that was enough information.

 

He probably wouldn’t want to work hard to repair Glau. Glau was just too broken and Kered had to look at the bigger picture.

 

After I was done washing up after working outside, Samara finally told me his answer.

 

“Really?” I asked. “Kered has agreed to help fix Glau?”

 

“We’ll be visiting the Wind Karma whom he is going to speak with.” Samara said with a weak smile, putting her hand on my shoulder. “This is what you want, right?”

 

“It’s what is good for Karma.”

 

“No, it’s what’s good for you.”

 

“I’m not petty like I was when I was human, Samara.”

 

“Do you love me?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Then you might be a little more human than you think you are.” Samara said with a worried grin.

 

I didn’t want to tell her that she was wrong and that I had been changed by my death. I couldn’t tell her that because she had hopes and I didn’t want to take any of them away from her. So all I did was give her a nod and then she told me the rest of the instructions as we both went down to the basement.

 

Glau looked at me and I could see the two sides of her warring to try and take control. I went over to her and thought of the best way to take her chip out without damaging her further.

 

As I carefully took it out, the Machine side started to take over. She yelled and shouted as I took her chip out. Her struggling made it nearly impossible for me to take the chip out without damaging it. That was probably her goal, she would rather die than become a member of Karma.

 

There was some nobility in that. There was nobility in preferring death over the loss of freedom. But that didn’t help me now and I could feel Samara’s nervous eyes on me.

 

I finally managed to remove Glau’s chip and handed it to Samara. She then put it into a container to help better protect it.

 

“Kered doesn’t trust me.” I said as I watched her put the container into one of her pockets.

 

“You knew that.” Samara replied.

 

If Kered had trusted me he would have allowed me to remove the chip by myself. It wasn’t exactly a job that required two people. But I was a Machine and therefore couldn’t be trusted. I knew Kered was in a position where he had to be that careful, but that didn’t mean his suspicion stopped hurting.

 

A few hours later and I was helping to load up the car. Kered’s eyes seemed to keep a constant focus on me as if I couldn’t be trusted for even a second. I worked faster than normal just so he would stop looking at me.

 

“Nazilla,” Kered said as I helped him pack his suitcase. “Why do you really want to repair the M-3? Samara does a good job with lying, but I can tell she’s covering for you.”

 

“I merely want what is best for Karma. If that means spending time and effort to repair a broken Machine, then I think the stress is worth it.”

 

“You better be telling me the truth.”

 

There was no more talking between any of us as we finished packing and left. Glau was in the trunk and Samara was driving. I got the back seat and Kered got the passenger seat. I looked at Samara’s house as we left it behind.

 

Did I want to repair Glau because she had a use to Karma or was it because of something more personal? I loved Samara, but I felt something for Glau that I couldn’t explain. I didn’t want to explore my feelings for Glau as they would just get in my way of being a useful member of Karma and girlfriend of Samara.
* * *
The ride took longer than I felt it should. My Machine side knew we were on schedule, but my lingering human side hated the awkwardness of riding in the car. Samara wasn’t bad, but Kered’s presence was awful. Even if all he did was stay silent and tell Samara directions from time to time.

 

My Machine side was even uneasy with him in the vehicle. Of course that was a logical fear as Kered was an Elemental and, therefore, could change his mind about me. With him attacking me it could mean that even if I escaped, I would find no safety in the organization I was a part of.

 

Finally the house of the Wind Elemental came into sight and I mentally calmed myself. This would be it. Either this was a trap or she wanted to help us. But even if she wanted to help us, that didn’t mean she had the ability to.

 

I had met my fair share of people who wanted to help but just couldn’t. Either through pure arrogance or ignorance. I hoped this Elemental wasn’t either if she was to help us.

 

Samara pulled into the driveway and Kered turned to look at me.

 

“Go.” He said simply and I nodded.

 

As I exited the car I knew there was no other option. I would obey him or I wouldn’t. If I didn’t obey him then he would have a case against me. He could easily point out how I could quickly turn to The Net’s side, if I had even truly been on Karma’s side since my death.

 

If I were human I would have done some breathing exercises to calm myself down. As it was, I went through multiple files about how to get away if this situation changed for the worse.

 

I knocked on the door and waited for the Wind Elemental to reply. I heard distant sounds of human feet and then she opened the door.

 

“Hi, I’m Nazilla.” I told her, putting on a fake smile that I knew would reassure her.

 

“Oh, you’re from Karma. I’ve been wondering when you would come.” The Wind Elemental said. “I’m Iraca. I’m assuming Kered is with you.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“He can be hard but he cares.” Iraca said with a gentle smile. “Lord knows all of us have to deal with some assholes that know what they’re doing.”

 

I nodded back hiding my disdain for the man. I gave Samara and Kered a thumb’s up and they got out of the car. I noticed that Iraca seemed excited that Kered was here. Were they lovers or had they fought together?

 

Either way I wanted to keep Iraca’s kindness for me, which wouldn’t last if Kered had his way.

 

Once we were all together, she smiled and let us all in. Samara kept by my side and she seemed nervous. Maybe she was worried the two Elementals would destroy me? Was she going over plans in her head about becoming a traitor for me?

 

“You haven’t visited me in awhile.” Iraca said.

 

“Been busy.” He replied. “I should introduce you to my fellow colleagues. Samara Crichton and her girlfriend Nazilla. Nazilla died three years ago and the Net turned her into a Machine. She claims to still be loyal to Karma.”

 

In an instant Iraca’s feelings about me seemed to change and it was like my name finally clicked in her head. While she appeared outwardly cheerful, my scanners could tell that she was now more tense. Well, at least I got a few moments of someone not hating me.

 

“So why is she here then?” Iraca asked. “Why send a Machine to my front door?”

 

“If you had been in danger, she could have reacted the quickest out of all of us. If you had been replaced with a Machine, she could have dealt with you.” Kered explained.

 

While Kered said each syllable calmly, I could tell that he cared for her. There were slight inflections that would mean nothing to the human ear, but meant everything to me. There were slight inflections that showed worry and deep care for Iraca.

 

I put a very small part of myself to figuring the mystery out so that the majority of me could focus on the important things.

 

“So do you have it?” Iraca asked, seeming to want to avoid more discussion about me at the moment.

 

“Yes,” Kered replied. “It’s in the trunk. As it’s heavy we’ll let the Machine get to it.”

 

“I’ll go with her.” Samara said and the two Elementals nodded.

 

I walked out to the car and was glad that my girlfriend was by my side. I heard the door close and then I stopped walking as did Samara.

 

“You’re scared of them.” Samara said.

 

“If they want to shut me down permanently they can. All of Karma will believe them over you.” I told her. “I don’t know if I’d call the feeling fear or self-preservation.”

 

“Either way you don’t have to worry.” She said as she opened the trunk and casually looked around for bystanders. “You have a use to them and you are my girlfriend. You are my right hand woman. They know killing you will do more harm than good. They won’t risk doing anything to you until they have further evidence.”

 

I nodded and picked up the sheet that Glau was currently wrapped up in. I knew that I had no real reason to worry about either Kered or Iraca. But maybe I was actually more worried about the Machine I was now carrying.

 

Samara walked beside me with her hand on my shoulder until we entered the house.* * *
I had been trying to figure out Glau for countless days before we had gone to Iraca. I had poured over everything that I knew and used my advanced senses to examine Glau. I thought that I’d be the only one to figure her out, but Iraca was doing a good job.

 

I had been watching her for hours as she tried to pretend to be calm. I knew Kered had probably told her his very biased opinion of me. Every now and again she would speak up, as if having an M-4 behind her wasn’t anything to worry about.

 

“So you resisted your own programming to rejoin Karma?” Iraca asked in one of her many attempts to sound calm.

 

“Yes.” I replied simply.

 

“And you resisted for your girlfriend?”

 

“Yes, she was the one thing that I could hold onto. The only thought that, well, kept me human. If it wasn’t for her I’d probably still be helping The Net.”

 

“Wouldn’t you prefer that as you’d be around more of your kind?”

 

“Machines are not my kind. My kind is Karma and the humans that live on Earth. I feel no special bond between fellow Machines. No matter what you, Kered, and the others think: it was my humanity that saved me. I have more humanity than you think.”

 

“So you’re completely human?”

 

“There have been…changes, but I’ll always have my humanity.”

 

As I looked at the M-3’s body I felt a shiver go through my systems. It wasn’t like I was looking at just another Machine, it was like I was looking at the body of my own kin. I tried to clear my mind of that thought. I was human no matter what.

 

“Are you sure you want to keep your humanity?” Iraca finally said.

 

“Yes.” I replied with more certainty than I felt.

 

I couldn’t let her see my weakness. She couldn’t think that I’d turn into a complete Machine. But what if I could fully embrace that side without abandoning Karma? Could I stay a good person if I let my humanity go?

 

Looking at Glau I knew that if I abandoned humanity I would go to her for comfort. She had a human side and Machine side. If both were able to co-exist, she’d be in the same situation as I was. Maybe she could be my rock while I was in utter confusion.

 

But what about Samara?

 

I watched her for a few more hours and then started to prepare dinner. Maybe if I treated Iraca special then that initial kindness would be back. It wouldn’t be a special dinner, but it would be something. As I started getting the ingredients for a sandwich out I heard familiar footsteps.

 

“Samara.” I said.

 

“You don’t eat.” Samara said as she walked over to me. “Kered or Iraca?”

 

“Iraca. I’m certain that Kered would disable me if I attempted to give him anything. Probably blame me for trying to assassinating him.”

 

Samara gave me a small grin.

 

“That’s probably true. He doesn’t trust you at all, thinks that you’ll turn on us one day. That you are incapable of experiencing love.” She replied.

 

“What do you think?” I asked as I started to make the sandwich.

 

“I think you can love but…you’ve changed a lot. I’ve tried to ignore how you’ve changed but…I can’t now. Things have just become worse.”

 

“What do you mean? I still love you, Samara.”

 

“You call me Samara. You say The Net. You’ve changed. Hell, you even rescued a Machine.”

 

“I was doing that be-“

 

“Don’t, Naz, just don’t. I know it’s because you have feelings for it. It has the skin of my dead ex-girlfriend and you treat it like a person. It almost feels like-“

 

“I love her more than you? Samara, I would never kill you even if you betrayed all of Karma. I feel nothing like that towards Glau. I feel no deep connection like that to her.”

 

“But you want to.”

 

I couldn’t argue with Samara’s assessment and I was confused about that. I should be able to argue this point logically. It was a logical thing to argue about. Why couldn’t I?

 

“I know you want to or else you wouldn’t have rescued her. You like to say that you’re logical now, but you do have emotions. Maybe you’re just so removed from your emotions that you can’t recognize new ones.” Samara said.

 

“I can recognize new emotions.” I said, but I didn’t know if I was being honest or not. “I could tell if I felt something like love for her. Maybe you’re just trying to twist things into your version of what things should be. Maybe you’ve talked to Kered for too long.”

 

After I said those things I wished that I hadn’t. Samara’s expression looked more shocked than when I had come to her after I had been made a Machine. I wanted to take what I had said back, but I knew I couldn’t. Both because I couldn’t change time and my words were exactly what I had meant.

 

“You think that I let what Kered says get to me?” Samara finally managed to ask. “I love you, Naz, truly and deeply. I would never let what that bastard says affect my feelings for you. He doesn’t think you’re human anymore, but I think you still are. It’s just that I worry how human you are nowadays.”

 

I heard Kered’s cough and our conversation was over.

 

“I received some new intel, Samara, I need you to catalog it.” He said and Samara nodded.

 

With a final angry glance at me, she walked away. I was left with Kered watching me as I made the sandwich. Each movement I made was scrutinized by the Elemental. I guess he was making sure I wouldn’t poison Iraca.

 

There were no words exchanged by us, but we didn’t need words to communicate now. I could clearly tell that he would like any excuse to deactivate me.

 

I felt free when I finished the sandwich and walked over to Iraca to give it to her.
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