Monday, November 28, 2016

Crossing the Divide 18

A Queensguard held a cup of tea, steam coming off of it indicating it was freshly made. I shivered as I recognized it although the knowledge was hidden in the darkness of my time in the direwolf pack. The man was holding moon tea, also known as tansy tea, which was used to either prevent or abort pregnancies. My stomach had already begun to bulge and killing my child Not this. Anything but this.

"As a mother it is beyond painful to lose a child." Cersei said. "You have mocked my losses and so I shall make you have one of your own."

"I didn't choose to have this child." I said, sounding more confident than I felt. "You chose to have your children, I didn't."

I hated my sensitive nose as it picked up tansy, mint, wormwood, honey, and pennyroyal. I was able to pick up how they mixed into each other and how much there was of each ingredient. I wanted to vomit and curse my sense of smell. A sense that, at any other time, would be a huge benefit to myself and those I allied myself with. Now my sense of smell helped better foretell the doom that would soon fall upon me.

"It doesn't matter how you had your child." The Lannister said, a cold grin on her face. "What matters is that mothers like you will have an innate sense to protect it. Weak mothers that seek only to protect the innocent. You'll cry over your dead bastard because you care too much. But you don't have to let your unborn child suffer that fate. I will let you keep the child if you simply answer some questions."

If I wanted to I could easily push away the cup and the plan would have been for naught. Of course that wasn't true as she could always weaken me and then give me the moon tea. She wanted me to commit the deed and so she would wait until I drank. Any torture she did to me that resulted in the death of the bastard would be blamed on me and she knew it. There was no way out for me and yet my mind raced to figure something out. The majority of escape plans weren't possible as I would be trading my bastard for Jeor. One life for another. Alex or Alec. The cycle kept on repeating itself. An endless loop of pain and agony. House Kaari's symbol made more sense than it should have. I managed not to shiver at my revelation.

I could agree to Cersei's demand and not have to give up any child. I could let both of them live. Bronn would never be referred to as the child's father as I wanted to get far away from him when this was over. He had been kind to me but f***ing him to keep safe was already giving me nightmares. I woke up in the middle of the night at times shivering at dreams where Jorah left me because of my disloyalty to him. What did he want me to do?

At those times the only thing I could keep comfort in was Bronn's words about Jorah being a fool to leave me. He worded it to be about f***ing, but at least it was something. At least there was someone comforting me. He wasn't here now and neither was Jorah. The latter I trusted to give me good advice on what to do. I didn't want to give up either and wasn't really about bartering my children. It was about bartering Jorah, Daenerys, and all those I had met in Essos. It was about bartering for who could win the war. The death of my unborn child would devastate me and yet there would be more that would die if he would live. If Daenerys died then Jorah would never be the same. If he found out that she had died because of me...I would never share his bed again. He would try to kill me if love for me had fully left his heart. My husband's life and love being gone from me was something that I could never let happen.

"You're more heartless than I thought." Cersei said. "I didn't think it would take you this long."
-This is a Mature Story (if in content if not plot)
-It's a Game of Thrones/Resident Evil Fic
-It's a Cersei Lannister Fic

You can read it HERE

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