I grasped my head as I tried to think of who would be a good match this time around. What dragons would have the necessary genes to please the Shadowbinder? What genes did we need? What type of dragons would others be searching for this time of year?
Sipping more of my water, I looked at the charts I had made. Nazilla had strong genes for certain. She was Seitou's bodyguard, after all. If she was weak she would have never been given that position. But who to pair her with?
But, of course, the answer of what pair should be in the third nest was staring me in the face and I was just choosing not to look.
As I was debating with myself, I could not stop the images of Elfangor going through my mind. His smile, his kind words, and everything else about him drew me. It pulled me like a leafy moth to a flame.
I had been controlling my feelings for the Mirror so much that it had become a perverse game for me. Deep within my soul I knew that the only way for me to be happy, truly happy, was for me to tell him.
Maybe I would even go through the Ceremony, a wedding, with him. Maybe performing coitus with him would actually be something to look forward to instead of something dreaded.
Was I shy because of my ideals or because I was afraid of him saying no? Of him saying that he didn't feel like I did?
I drank some more of my water as I shivered.
I stood up quickly and put my clothing back on. I had to do this now before I decided to back out. I knew I had to make this decision, as did all my other clanmates most likely, so I would. I would face my fears.
As I exited my hut, I decided what to tell him.
I decided that I would tell Elfangor that I loved him and wished to perform coitus with him. I repeated different ways of saying that to myself as I rushed over to where he slept.