Thursday, April 10, 2014

The Eternal Heart: Fragile Package 1

 Ever since John Connor had announced the fact that he had decided to stay with Katherine and not be with me, things had become harder for me. When I had a moment to think I would think of all that could’ve been and how it couldn’t be now.

But whenever I focused on Resistance business I forgot about my feelings for John, if only for a little bit. I’d focus on not getting myself or my fellow Resistance fighters killed. I practiced and exercised more than I needed to. However, I never pushed myself past my limits. I didn’t want to be in a battle and be too worn down to continue.

John still gave me private lessons and those had become less awkward as time went on. But our glances at each other never went away. I doubted my feelings for him could ever go away. However, I didn’t interfere with his marriage and he would try to set me up with someone from time to time. I would never go out with someone other than John, though, so his attempts were useless.

I had mixed feelings about going on the simple mission with Katherine, Barnes, and Star.

Katherine was John’s wife and was still uneasy about John’s feelings towards me, but I still felt I had to protect her. If she died then John would never forgive me.

Barnes and I had become closer. By closer I mean that he kept his hate of me to a bare minimum when I was around him.

Star was the only one I didn’t have any bad feelings towards. Kyle Reese and I had been on a mission or two together so I had learned to trust his judgment. When I had first met him he had said he loved Star. I trusted his opinion and was going to make sure Star came out of her first mission safe.

I finished getting ready and headed to the chopper. I waved at some of my comrades and they nodded back. I was glad that they had opened up to me more. At least I didn’t get the feeling that they would try and kill me the first chance they got.

Upon arriving to the chopper I saw my team members. Barnes was standing close to Katherine and having a conversation with her. This didn’t surprise me at all since he was one of John’s most loyal soldiers. Plus he had another reason.

I controlled the grimace that tried to come to my face as I looked at Katherine’s round belly. It was a painful reminder of how intimate John was with her. Barnes nodded at me and Katherine continued to ignore me.

It was then I looked at Star who was nervous. It had always been hard to read her, almost like she was a machine herself, but I could tell she was uneasy.

“Hey.” I said to her as I walked towards her.

“Hi.” She replied and looked me directly in the eyes for a second before she got too afraid and looked away.

“You fought against the machines since you were young.” I told her. “You and Kyle managed to stay alive until you ran into John.”

“I know I’ll survive.”

“Then why take so long to go on a mission of your own?”

“I’ve been on guard duty. I’ve been to every training session. Hell, I’ve helped train new recruits from time to time.”

“But you’ve never been on a mission of your own.”

Star looked at something that was on the opposite side of the hanger from me. Like Barnes she had dark skin, but unlike Barnes her hairstyle was different. It was poofy. Since I didn’t have memories from before Judgment Day, I didn’t know what to call the hairstyle. But it was nice.

“What’s the reason?” I asked. “I know it’s not because you’re scared of dying.”

“I don’t want to be in charge.” Star whispered and looked around to see if anyone else was listening. “If I do good I’ll be told to handle people’s lives.”

“It’s not a good feeling.” I said, even though I had only been in charge of a mission only once before this. And that was only because my commander had died on the mission. “But if you don’t want responsibility, it means you’re less likely to do something stupid.”

“So I guess that means giving you power is bad.” Barnes said as he walked up behind me.

“Hey, at least I’m not you. Means I can’t do too bad.”

Star hid a smile and I looked at my group.

“Get in the chopper, we need to head out quickly.” I told them.

“It’s only a scouting mission, we don’t need to hurry.” Barnes replied.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean there can’t be danger.”

With that Barnes and Star went in the chopper and Katherine joined me in the cockpit.

I checked that the chopper was going to work throughout the scouting mission and avoided Katherine’s gaze when I could. It was like she was trying to kill me with a look.

“You know I had to convince John to allow you on this mission.” I told her, trying to bring her to my side.

“John didn’t mention that to me.” Katherine countered.

“Because I managed to convince him before he said something to you. I told him it was only a scouting mission and that the twins won’t be in danger.”

“How did you know I was going to have twins?”

“John told me. He was really excited about the news.”

“What else does he tell you?”

“Stuff I pretend to be interested in.”

“But I’m not going to give birth for a week or two, John shouldn’t be worried.”

“Tell John that.” I said as I took off.

I felt the tension in the cockpit ease. I knew Katherine didn’t like me, but she had to know that John trusted me. He trusted me but wasn’t going to leave her for me.
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